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Snarky Brides

Worst Things You've Seen At Weddings You Attended

Whether it was intentionally planned awfulness, or simply an unfortunate happening. Truth is stranger (and funnier) than fiction and I thought we might get some laffs telling stories. If there's already a thread for this, feel free to slap my sorry noob ass around, and I'll post there instead!


Tight, slinky, low-back (all the way down to the waist) bridesmaid dresses when half the bridesmaids were the bride's teen and preteen sisters.

At another one, the DJ played the first dance, mom/groom dance, and dad/bride dance, invited everyone onto the floor during the last of those... and then the next song he played was "Careless Whisper." ... and THEN about half the guests stayed on the floor dancing to it. 

And I'm from the South, so I've seen a lot of altar calls (officiants actually proselytizing during the ceremony -- telling the guests that now's the time to come to [religion] and telling them how).
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Re: Worst Things You've Seen At Weddings You Attended

  • I once attended a wedding where the minister said, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve."

    He later mentioned that the bride took the groom's ring as a sign that she was the groom's most valuable possession.   
  • banana468 said:

    He later mentioned that the bride took the groom's ring as a sign that she was the groom's most valuable possession.   
    I audibly gasped at that; yuck! I've been to one wedding where the bride couldn't hold her liquor and spent the better part of the evening vomiting in the bathroom. Groom was nowhere to be found.
    Just Married!

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  • - Guests bringing their own liquor and fixings and hiding them under the table because they knew it was beer and wine only.
    - Guests bringing the ice bucket from the hotel and putting their liquor of choice in it ON the table (another beer and wine wedding that they were unhappy about.

    (both of these were my extented family and I am ashamed)

    Bringing uninvited children, and allowing said children to touch the cake.

    Not enough ceremony seating and basically NO seating at the reception.  The food was great, as was the music -- but a place to sit would have been so amazing.
  • banana468 said:

    I once attended a wedding where the minister said, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve."


    He later mentioned that the bride took the groom's ring as a sign that she was the groom's most valuable possession.   
    What in the flying F is this!? "most valuable possession" my ass! I was once at a family wedding where the minister said "the good wife is the silent wife, the good wife is the obedient wife". You could about hear the jaws of my VERY opinionated and female dominant family hitting the floor.

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  • I once attended a wedding where the minister said, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve."

    He later mentioned that the bride took the groom's ring as a sign that she was the groom's most valuable possession.   

    WTF

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    AuroraRose41doeydospeakeasy14
  • hellohkb said:

    I once attended a wedding where the minister said, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve."

    He later mentioned that the bride took the groom's ring as a sign that she was the groom's most valuable possession.   

    WTF

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    Yeah-  I clawed DH's leg through that one.

    All of the college friends of the bride (our group) later mentioned how terrible it was. 
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Who was the poster who had a best man give the toast about abortion? 


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  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    This isn't nearly as bad as @banana468's story, but here goes. FI (BF at the time) and I attended a wedding for a friend of mine from high school this past summer. The invitation listed a well known hotel as the wedding location, so we assumed that meant both ceremony and reception. It turns out that only the reception was at the hotel, and the ceremony was a mile down the road in a nearby park! FI and I just made it (our butts hit the seats as the music started for the processional). Many other guests were late because of this. 

    After that, we all had to walk back to the hotel, in 85 degree heat and 100% humidity, in suits, dresses, and high heels. We finally make it back to the hotel to find out that there is a 1.5 hour gap. FI and I had to find the bar of the hotel so that I could get water. Many other guests ended up there too. The cocktail hour starts, and we are all (100 or so guests) shoved into what is basically a hallway for an hour. We couldn't go into the reception room to sit down, and we were bumping into people whenever we tried to get food. Some of the waiters never even made it to our group of friends because they couldn't get through! Once dinner started everything was okay for the rest of the night, but all of this soured the day for many of the guests. 

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.



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    [Deleted User]peachy13
  • levioosa said:

    Who was the poster who had a best man give the toast about abortion? 

    Oh dear god I remember that. I'm saving all my shocked gifs for if someone wants to re-tell that one.


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  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper

    The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.

    What... what did I just watch??? There were CHILDREN there!!!!!!
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  • The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.

    What... what did I just watch??? There were CHILDREN there!!!!!!

    I'm at work and the boss is feet away.  Is it the video of the bride coming down the aisle alone singing Crazy Bitch?
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    kmmssg said:

    The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.

    What... what did I just watch??? There were CHILDREN there!!!!!!

    I'm at work and the boss is feet away.  Is it the video of the bride coming down the aisle alone singing Crazy Bitch?
    Yes. It was... disturbing. I'm not prudish, prim, or proper, but HOT DAMN that was awful.
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  • polkad0tpolkad0t member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    That couple did Web Redemption on Tosh.0 once and they were literally what you would expect.  Fair groom has long hair and wears bandanas folded like headbands.  Like Willie Nelson but with a whole lot more meth and a lot less conditioner.
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    madamerwinDrillSergeantCat
  • hellohkb said:

    levioosa said:

    Who was the poster who had a best man give the toast about abortion? 

    Oh dear god I remember that. I'm saving all my shocked gifs for if someone wants to re-tell that one.
    Oh please, please someone retell this one!  I never heard it and need a good drama for my Thursday.
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper

    kmmssg said:

    The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.

    What... what did I just watch??? There were CHILDREN there!!!!!!

    I'm at work and the boss is feet away.  Is it the video of the bride coming down the aisle alone singing Crazy Bitch?
    Yes. It was... disturbing. I'm not prudish, prim, or proper, but HOT DAMN that was awful.
    Holy crap. I actually like that song (at proper times). But I can't... she wasn't even good at singing! And there were kids there! And... WOW.
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  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 Clare Island member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    Last wedding I went to, the minister spent 20 minutes lecturing about the evils of divorce--standing a foot away from the happy couple. This was the bride's second wedding. Arghhh.

    Other wedding was back in the 80s. Couple met at a very conservative Catholic college in California. They had to KNEEL while the priest lectured the congregation on the evils of artificial contraception and abortion. I was stuck in the middle of a very long pew and could not get out. I would have walked if I could. I've never made that mistake again.
  • Well, DH and I had to kneel in our Catholic ceremony (see siggy pic) but yeah - I think if that was the sermon at my wedding there would have been a stop payment on the check.

    Similarly, when my Godson was baptized, the priest did an exorcism of all the babies.   My cousin (baby's mother) was PISSED.   He did NOT get the donation.
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    banana468 said:

    Well, DH and I had to kneel in our Catholic ceremony (see siggy pic) but yeah - I think if that was the sermon at my wedding there would have been a stop payment on the check.


    Similarly, when my Godson was baptized, the priest did an exorcism of all the babies.   My cousin (baby's mother) was PISSED.   He did NOT get the donation.
    WTF! What is an exorcism on all babies?



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    doeydo
  • banana468 said:

    Well, DH and I had to kneel in our Catholic ceremony (see siggy pic) but yeah - I think if that was the sermon at my wedding there would have been a stop payment on the check.


    Similarly, when my Godson was baptized, the priest did an exorcism of all the babies.   My cousin (baby's mother) was PISSED.   He did NOT get the donation.
    WTF! What is an exorcism on all babies?
    There were several babies Baptized at the same time.   So in addition to the Baptism of the babies, the priest did THAT.   
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:

    banana468 said:

    Well, DH and I had to kneel in our Catholic ceremony (see siggy pic) but yeah - I think if that was the sermon at my wedding there would have been a stop payment on the check.


    Similarly, when my Godson was baptized, the priest did an exorcism of all the babies.   My cousin (baby's mother) was PISSED.   He did NOT get the donation.
    WTF! What is an exorcism on all babies?
    There were several babies Baptized at the same time.   So in addition to the Baptism of the babies, the priest did THAT.   
    Um... that happens at all Catholic baptisms. It's just a prayer that is supposed to protect the baby and talks about being open to God - when they make the sign of the cross on the ears/lips/etc. The priest probably just said the name of the prayer(?), and people's minds went to the only cultural context they know for "exorcism." Now, if the priest had done it to all the kids present regardless of whether their parents intended them to be baptized that day (which is what I thought at your initial post) I could see being extremely pissed.

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  • Worst thing I ever saw was at this wedding I attended maybe 5 or 6 years ago. It was a former co-worker's wedding in a big hall.  Smoking as allowed and people all over the dance floor were smoking up a storm.  I caught the bouquet and the man that caught the garter belt literally put it on me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. As a non-smoker, I was totally disgusted and left the wedding smelling like I had been in a college bar all night. GAG.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    At my cousin's wedding, his mother talked on her cell phone while recessing back down the aisle. It made me wonder if she was talking on that phone during the ceremony.
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    The regs have all seen this a million times, but it never gets old.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkHMSKgIWs


    There are f bombs, so don't watch it in a cubicle.

    That gets me every time.
    image
  • banana468 said:

    banana468 said:

    Well, DH and I had to kneel in our Catholic ceremony (see siggy pic) but yeah - I think if that was the sermon at my wedding there would have been a stop payment on the check.


    Similarly, when my Godson was baptized, the priest did an exorcism of all the babies.   My cousin (baby's mother) was PISSED.   He did NOT get the donation.
    WTF! What is an exorcism on all babies?
    There were several babies Baptized at the same time.   So in addition to the Baptism of the babies, the priest did THAT.   
    Um... that happens at all Catholic baptisms. It's just a prayer that is supposed to protect the baby and talks about being open to God - when they make the sign of the cross on the ears/lips/etc. The priest probably just said the name of the prayer(?), and people's minds went to the only cultural context they know for "exorcism." Now, if the priest had done it to all the kids present regardless of whether their parents intended them to be baptized that day (which is what I thought at your initial post) I could see being extremely pissed.
    It was in addition to that prayer and made to be a bigger deal than just the standard. That's what upset my cousin.
  • louxnoellelouxnoelle #patriotsnation member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My BFF's now-SIL, who has been and continues to be completely batshit for so. many. reasons, asked my BFF to "go talk" during her reception. The talk consisted of her breaking down sobbing, and when my friend tried to comfort her (thinking they were bonding), SIL screamed that she hated her and took a swing at her. My friend started yelling for somebody to, um, "escort" her out, and SIL lunged at the BM, her BF, and the groom/her brother when they tried to get her outside.

    That was cute.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    There was a tornado at my cousins wedding! It knocked out all the power and make it really crazy stormy. FWIW, my cousin played it off like it was no thang. That was about the only thing I respected her for.

    Cash bar, ran out of food, assigned seats with people you don't know for mingling, 5 hours of  watching the B and G play games with each other on the dance floor, got yelled at by MOB for leaving early to get dinner at a pizza place.

    But she handled the tornado like we all wish we would handle it.
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  • Went to one that was held in the bride's parent's backyard but they didn't bother to clean the inside of the house or the bathroom that they were telling the guests to use. Towering stacks of papers all over the kitchen, piles of stuff creating an obstacle course in the hallway, and then into a bathroom that looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the Reagan administration (mold was covering everything!). It was a hoarder's heaven.
    Reception was set to start before dinner time and end after, however the only food available was the cake- which was surprising since the groom had stated heavy hors d'oeuvres the week before. People ended up leaving early to go eat and when my boyfriend at the time and I went to leave, were told we couldn't because they already promised the photographer that we'd drive him home since we lived in the same city (at least half of the guests lived in the same city as us...), and they needed him for more photos and to download the digital camera's 700+ photos onto their computer before he left.
    It was hot mess.
  • BrandNewJBrandNewJ member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    Just went to a wedding on Easter evening. The Monday is not off the next day. Emailed invitiation said the event will start at 5. It started a bit after 6. Over an hour of waiting and only champagne to drink, no water, and no chairs at all. I assume you all already know how the rest went.

    ETA: but at least they were so kind enough to treat us to international dancers after dinner. /end sarcasm. 
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    hellohkb
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