So I've run into and unfortunate and hurtful situation with a bridesmaid. Background is that I've known this girl (well call her Bianca) since we were 8-9 years old. She's never been very well liked through middle school and high school and I always thought it was because of her size and people are mean about things like that at that age. Every time she "lost a friend" she'd ultimately have some story about how she was the victim and "how could they do that to me" attitude that I beljeved. I've stuck by her side through all of these times in my life and saw fitting she be a bridesmaid.
We went dress shopping rather early in my planning process and I didn't get a chance to formally ask anyone to be MOH or BMs but I knew who I was going to choose. At the shop my fiances mom put me in a weird position and asked who the MOH was and I said my other friend (well say her name is Carly) who Is my longest and most steadfast friend. Bianca was standing right there when I said Carly was the MOH and she didn't seem to react much other than smile so I thought I was in the clear. I later asked everyone to be a part of the wedding by doing a video collage of our friendship and writing a "letter" about how much they mean to me.
FF 3 months later and Bianca and I are texting about bridesmaids dress ideas and she randomly asks who the MOH is. I say Carly and from then she hasn't answered a single text from me. I finally asked if she was physically well or if she died and all she said was "yeah I'm fine." And has yet to respond to anything else. I 100% REFUSE to call her or chase her around as she does this w all of her friends-- she likes to test them to see if they are dedicated or loyal enough and after 16 years of friendship where I've dealt w her always playing the victim card I refuse to chase her around-- it's BS.
All this being said my fiancé hates her. He says she's a tumor I need to cut out of my life. She's never been that pleasant to be around. She hates the city we live in for no reason. She doesn't like when my fiancé is around and she is in town to hang out-- even if he's only around for a couple hours out of the weekend so he can get to know her. She told me a couple years ago she needed me to invest more communication into the friendship and since then I've bent over backwards to text her daily or weekly despite having two jobs. I really haven't gained anything from this friendship as im always the one giving her advice-- then she gets mad at me for that advice.
She's never happy with her situation and always is complaining about something. At this point my fiancé doesn't want her at the wedding, my family doesn't want her in the wedding party and im hurt, upset and stressed out. CLEARLY I made the right choice of MOH if Bianca is behaving this way.
Honestly this might not be a situation i care to salvage as I'm realizing this person is toxic and not worth it. That being said-- what do I do next for the wedding party?? Yes I have a back up plan to ask my half sister to be in the party instead. My wedding is 15 months away. As I type this still no word from Bianca