How's the planning going?

Re: How's the planning going?

• louxnoelle member

  

  April 2015

  Hi, @metzlerhj!
  
  I'm also in school, working, and planning a wedding for next January, so I anticipate being where you're at during my upcoming fall semester. Do you mind if I ask what is left on your to-do list? So far I've found planning to be a blast for the most part, but I'm sure the stress will start to mount as the date gets closer.
  
  In terms of communication between you and your FI, does it come from feeling as though you're juggling everything and he's kind of checked out of the planning process? Or moreso that you two are both stressing and it's making things tense? Is he also in school?
  
  Apologies for the interrogation, just curious.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• metzlerhj member

  

  April 2015

  Hello!

  I don't mind answering your questions at all.   Right now, I have to send out invitations, order my favors, pick out songs, and create an itinerary  Those are just a few things.  Besides the invites, it really invoves finalizing all the details that make the day special and smooth.

  My fiancé is more involve than the stereotypical groom, so I would say that we both get stressed out trying to race against time.  He is not in school, but he has a very demanding career, which means we both have a lot on our plate.  I do say having monthly bridesmaid meeting have been a great help to the whole process (and its great bonding time with all the girls!)

  The majority of planning is fun though. You haven't dealt with much stress from the planning? Is there anything you do to decrease or avoid stress?

  Report0 Reply
• louxnoelle member

  

  April 2015

  That's great that your FI is helping to plan! When you both start feeling stressed, just remember that you're working on this as partners, you've got each other's back, and ultimately all you're doing is planning a huge party to celebrate how in love you are. That kind of helps to put things in perspective and keep it from seeming like a chore, which is kind of half the battle.
  
  I'm earlier in the process than you are, so I'm positive that the biggest reason I'm stress-free is because most of my deadlines seem a million years away, but I will say that the special little details have been my favorite part! I think it's because I LOVE the things we're selecting, and as they accumulate, the day just comes into focus and gradually seems more and more real.
  
  Try looking at the details and ask yourself why you're doing them. For example, if the favors are killing you because you can't find anything you like, think they're dumb, feel like there are a thousand things you'd rather be doing than putting m&m's in tiny boxes, whatever, skip them! If you get to them, great, and if not, nobody will care. Favors are more or less optional, as are guest books, bedazzled card boxes, etc.
  
  On the other hand, if spending an hour every night decorating the most elaborate, detailed, gorgeous favors / guest book / card box you've ever seen will make you happy and fulfilled, go for it! I made my own ring box not because I needed to in order to have a perfect wedding, but because it made my heart happy, and it's another little detail that makes me excited, not stressed.
  
  I've been choosing songs by listening to our favorite artists on shuffle on my way to and from school, work, wherever. When I hear a song I think may work for something, I jot it down and run it by FI. So far I've found two that way (father/daughter dance and cake-cutting). Everything else came from songs that have always kind of been "theme songs" for our relationship. Do you have any of those?
  
  Focus on the stuff that is important to you guys and/or integral to the day - everything else is extra.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• oliviabee22 member

  

  April 2015

  I'm very much like you! Our wedding is in June. I'm in my master's and he's been in his FT job for about 8 years. I DO get stressed in the same way - I get snippy. My fiance is amazing and we end up laughing it off - we call it "chihuahua-ing" - in a way it is like I yap and snap when we talk about things that elevate my stress levels to the boiling point.
  
  Usually its around the middle to end of semester when EVERYTHING is due AND I have the in-laws and my own parents on me and asking me about all these wedding things. Then he comes home from work and asks me about them and I snap! He has been so helpful with all the planning and I've been getting much better at delegating tasks to him. He has the type of personality where he needs to be told very clearly where and when he can help or what to do and he will  hop right on it - but anything vague and up in the air is usually the part of planning that he avoids. We pick up each other's slack where we can and the planning has been a very dual process.
  
  But yes - back to your point - I chihuahua him when I'm stressed!
  

  Report0 Reply