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Being open about fertility issues

sarahuflsarahufl New York member
Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
I never thought I would be one of those people who had problems having children. I always assumed I would decide I wanted a baby, then I would have one. Case closed. It always seemed so simple on TV and in movies.

Then, when I got older and my friends started having kids, I started to realize it wasn't necessarily as easy as it seemed. Then my sister had 2 losses back to back. Then I had an Ectopic which resulted in emergency surgery. The whole experience not only scared the crap out of me, but it also made my future seem so murky. Being on these boards makes me realize HOW MANY people have problems (and this is The Knot, it isn't even The Bump!).

I was out of work for a week and I decided to tell people (aside from a few very close friends) that I had to get my appendix removed because I wasn't ready to tell the truth. But H encouraged me to tell the truth- that it isn't something I should be ashamed of. In a way, I agree with him. I feel like if more people openly discussed fertility issues, it would be easier on so many people. But I also am just not there yet and would prefer to lie if people ask.

We aren't telling his family and only a small handful of my local friends know. As far as everyone else is concerned, I was never pregnant. It seems crappy to hide stuff like that from people I care about, but I don't want to field questions.

So here is the point of this post- IRL, how many of you are so free to discuss what is happening? Do you think it is something you are ready to face publicly?
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Re: Being open about fertility issues

  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    Honestly, there are only 2 people IRL that know about the issues I am having with staying pregnant and those people are H and my BFF. You all are my only source of support otherwise.

     

    Idk what it is, but I feel almost embarrassed to tell people IRL. I feel like I am a failure as a woman or something. Then again, I am raging today, so I am probably just having a woe is me moment.

     

    I do kind of wish that people talked about it more. It is so much more common than people think.

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  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm nowhere near ready to TTC, so I can't relate directly, but I'm sending you lots of hugs!

    Of course suffering an ectopic or a loss is nothing to be ashamed of, but I totally understand not wanting to share something so deeply personal with your coworkers. Give yourself the emotional space that you need, whatever that means for you. I think it's fine to tell them it was your appendix, or just not to answer at all. It really isn't anyone's business and you don't have to tell them.

    Last year I was at a women's event at my church, and one lady told the group about her experience with four or five losses. So many of the women were crying, and I knew that many of them had been through it themselves or with a loved one. I think it was really powerful to let those women know that they aren't alone in what they're going through.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    Honestly, there are only 2 people IRL that know about the issues I am having with staying pregnant and those people are H and my BFF. You all are my only source of support otherwise.

     

    Idk what it is, but I feel almost embarrassed to tell people IRL. I feel like I am a failure as a woman or something. Then again, I am raging today, so I am probably just having a woe is me moment.

     

    I do kind of wish that people talked about it more. It is so much more common than people think.

    I'm with you on this one. I feel like I did something wrong. I go back and think- what could I have done to make this different? How could I have ended up in this situation?
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    sarawifenow
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that. 

    While I agree being more open about fertility issues might be helpful, I would never disclose that information to my coworkers --- but I wouldn't lie, either. A simple, "I was out of the office for health issues," would suffice. Even though I'm close (at work) with a few coworkers, I don't need people in the office knowing my business. 

    With friends outside of work, however, I think being open may be very helpful to you. They may be able to offer you support or even lead you to a solution --- you never know. 
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    ElcaB said:

    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that. 


    While I agree being more open about fertility issues might be helpful, I would never disclose that information to my coworkers --- but I wouldn't lie, either. A simple, "I was out of the office for health issues," would suffice. Even though I'm close (at work) with a few coworkers, I don't need people in the office knowing my business. 

    With friends outside of work, however, I think being open may be very helpful to you. They may be able to offer you support or even lead you to a solution --- you never know. 
    Yeah, my friends at work are actually some of my best friends outside of work- they were at my wedding, they know all kinds of things.

    But generally, I do agree with you :)
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  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    DH and I aren't TTC yet (it'll probably be another 8 months or so) but it scares the hell out of me. I've never been told that I should expect issues TTC from my gyno but I feel like a lot of people don't necessarily know until they're TTC anyways. 

    I also know that I'll be the first one in my group of friends that will be actively TTC so if I have issues, I don't know if they would understand. 

    I'm so sorry about your emergency surgery. That really must be awful. But I agree with @ElcaB, I wouldn't disclose that to my coworkers or anyone I wasn't close to. If anyone felt the need to know why I was out of work, I would just tell them it was an emergency because any further information is none of their business.

    themuffinman16
  • I don't really discuss my medical issues in general. My pregnancy/fertility included.

    Just yesterday, I got some abnormal teat results. It doesn't look good. It's not that I'm embarrassed to talk about it with others or people at work. For me, it's a medical issue and it's none of anyone's business.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I was discussing freely our IVF adventure last summer, but when it failed, I stopped talkingg about it and am now keeping our plans B and C private.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I do think it's important to be open about these things, so other women don't feel so alone. For all you know, you DO have lots more friends who've struggled and just not talked about it. I was amazed when I went though/opened up about cervical issues how many people told me "oh yeah I had the same thing."

    That said though, it's such a personal thing, you shouldn't feel pressured or obligated to share until you're good and ready.

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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can't really relate, because we're not having kids. But I will say this. I used to be very open with people about us not having kids. However, because of the comments I started receiving, I now don't say anything. If someone asks when we're having kids, instead of saying we're not, I say I don't know. When someone says, "Oh, you better start trying soon", I just nod.Totally not the same thing as what you're dealing with, but it's now something I'd rather just keep to myself. 

    [Deleted User]Maggie0829[Deleted User]
  • So far DH and I have been OK but when I was diagnosed with PCOS, my FIL approached DH and said that the family was talking about whether or not we were going to have children.   It's a VERY prolific family and while annoying I know the questions came from a good place.   DH mentioned that things could be tough for us and they backed off.

    They really didn't mention anything when it came time for us to TTC #2 either but if they started to speak up I would have squashed that shit too.

    Some people really do not understand that how the baby making process is going is just not any of their business until the baby makers tell them.   
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    On one hand, I'd like to see a lot more awareness brought to the issue of infertility and especially miscarriages. On the other, for some reason it's hard to talk about this stuff. I am a pretty open book, but I can see it being something I don't end up wanting to discuss. I never used to understand why people wait until 2nd trimester to announce their pregnancies but now I do. 

    I think a lot of it is people's reactions. It's a loss, and people are weird about that anyway, but when it's an embryo/fetus people get even weirder, then they invariably follow up with something incredibly insensitive trying to make you feel better, like "you can always try again! so how's work?". 

    My sister had a kid, had two miscarriages, then 3 more kids after figuring out it was a progesterone issue that was making her lose her pregnancies. 

    We're planning on beginning TTC in the fall. If it takes us more than a couple months or if I have a miscarriage, I'm gonna be a mess :( But I wouldn't lie. You don't have to have full disclosure, either. I mean... what if you actually do end up getting an appendectomy eventually? 
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  • I don't freely discuss health issues in general, if someone were to ask I wouldn't lie but I also am not super open.  When I think of friends who have had a miscarriage I can only think of one that I knew it happened to, and it was because we were running buddies and discussed everything on there long runs.  I have friends on fb who have shared, I think in part to realize that they aren't the only ones experiencing it and maybe get comfort that way?


    I don't really think it is "hiding" it from people though.  Hiding it is my friend who didn't tell anyone but like 5 of us that she was pregnant even when she was about to have the baby.  I think it is good we hear about losses more so people realize they are not alone but I also think many choose to keep it private since it is prevalent and thus don't announce anything until the 2nd trimester anyway just in case.


    hugs to you for going through this, it can't be easy but don't feel like there is anything wrong with you for it happening or even for the way you choose to disclose or not disclose the info.

  • FiancB said:

    On one hand, I'd like to see a lot more awareness brought to the issue of infertility and especially miscarriages. On the other, for some reason it's hard to talk about this stuff. I am a pretty open book, but I can see it being something I don't end up wanting to discuss. I never used to understand why people wait until 2nd trimester to announce their pregnancies but now I do. 


    I think a lot of it is people's reactions. It's a loss, and people are weird about that anyway, but when it's an embryo/fetus people get even weirder, then they invariably follow up with something incredibly insensitive trying to make you feel better, like "you can always try again! so how's work?". 

    My sister had a kid, had two miscarriages, then 3 more kids after figuring out it was a progesterone issue that was making her lose her pregnancies. 

    We're planning on beginning TTC in the fall. If it takes us more than a couple months or if I have a miscarriage, I'm gonna be a mess :( But I wouldn't lie. You don't have to have full disclosure, either. I mean... what if you actually do end up getting an appendectomy eventually? 
    @FiancB Knowing my medical history and all that could happen within the first trimester, I was the other way around.  I never understood why people told everyone before the 2nd trimester.   Being the cautious optimist I am, I still don't.  
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Weirdly, I am still talking about my fertility stuff with several work friends because I am close with them AND they, too, have gone through it. So I can get support and advice from them. But I am keeping mum to the majority of my friends and family. Most people won't know any more about it until I am either several months pregnant or have adopted a child.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • edited April 2015
    My mother, my sisters, my best friend, and 2 of my sister in laws know about my endometriosis.  Only my twin sister knows that we are TTC, because she knows it might be an uphill battle. I don't think it is that anyone is ashamed of their fertility issues, I think people can just be so nosy or offer up advice that it can be counterproductive.  
      Anyway, when dealing with a loss people don't quite understand, it always feel best to deal with it yourself, first.  This way, you can be strong when fielding a bunch of questions. When you lose a family member, going through a divorce, people assume those things hurt. And while, if you lose a fetus, or have issues with fertility, some people don't think it should affect you because it isn't a child.  TTC is a future you envisioned for yourself, and if it doesn't work out as planned, it can be devastating. That is what I think. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just think some people have a hard time being compassionate, and treat fertility issues like they wouldn't be heartbreaking. They say comments like, you can try again, or have you tried not having sex while pregnant, have you tried this position when you are trying to conceive, which makes TTC women feel like it is their fault. IDK... maybe that is just my hangup.
    [Deleted User]
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I've been pretty open with my fertility issues with family and close friends.  I dont' necessarily volunteer the information, but if it comes up, I don't mind saying that I've had issues.  And, I appreciate the prayers.

    I'm in a FB support group for Catholic women who are struggling with fertility issues (including miscarriage, PCOS, and primary / secondary infertility).  It's been a huge help to me to know that I'm not alone and that there are others out there who have the same emotions as I do.  If anyone is interested, I can see about adding you.  
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I frequently talk about my breast cancer scares and my genetic background with ovarian and breast cancer. All of my friends know that my mother is a survivor and my Grandma is a survivor and I will be taking all steps necessary to keep myself safe. It's a very open conversation that I have. 

    My fertility issues, everybody knows that I have an IUD. They don't know that I have an IUD to stop me from totally bleeding out with fibroids and I will never have children. We were on the fence and leaning towards no anyways, but this totally solidified it. I know I could probably carry a pregnancy, but I don't feel like I need to tempt that beast with all the other issues, genetically, that I carry. If I had a friend that was struggling with fertility, I would happily talk to them about it, but I feel because I don't have a specific "This is causing me 100% from not having a viable pregnancy" I feel like my situation lessens the severity of actual medical conditions that hinder fertility. Because some day, the doctors will listen to me and just take out my uterus and life will move on. 

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  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I walk a fine line. We're TTC and having problems. I'm constantly being asked about pregnancy by family and, to a lesser extent, friends and colleagues. It would nice to feel more open about the subject but more painful as well.

    Lots of my friends are TTC or have had babies in the past 3 years. My bff is currently pregnant and miserable about it. I'm being a shitty friend because it's too hard to talk to someone who doesn't want to be a mom when I want it so badly. She knows of our struggles but we haven't discussed it in great detail because it makes everything so uncomfortable. Another close friend was the posterchild for IVF with every round working perfectly. When we talk about it, she's more cheerleader for IVF than confidant.

    Another thing that pisses me off while I'm at it-- everyone assumes it's always my fault. It never occurs to anyone that DH could have a problem. I spent 7 hours in the ER with MIL last night and was repeatedly reminded that I need to be more proactive about getting pregnant. It's just assumed that at my age, any issues are strictly my own. Sure, he got someone pregnant 17 years ago but things change.

    People can also be thoughtless. My sister knows what we're going through but doesn't think. This weekend, she tried to get us to take a bunch of old toys and clothes from her daughter, "just in case" we get pregnant. Later in the day, she told us how lucky we are that we have so much free time because we don't have small kids. I didn't say anything to either of them but both DH and my dad were furious at her and pulled her aside. DH is still seething.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I don't openly discuss it with others either.  But, I agree that it shouldn't be a taboo subject either. 

    DH has some medical issues that he's been told would likely make him sterile, although he has yet to get officially tested.  For me, I have some non-fertility related medical issues that would make pregnancy difficult and could create some serious long term problems and pain for me. We've both always been kind of on the line about wanting kids anyway, so with all that we've just decided that kids aren't for us and we are okay with that.  I think the only people that know the real basis of our decision is our mothers (it got them to stop pushing for grandbabies). A few people know about my health issues, including my business partner, as it affects other aspects of my life also. But, usually we just tell people we are happy with just us and our dogs and don't plan to have kids.

    I think part of the problem is that the subject of kids is a very emotional one. And getting married and having kids is just expected by society, so there is a stigma of feeling like a failure if you can't meet that societal standard. And people tend to go all pity party on you and get "that look" if you admit to having problems with fertility... and nobody likes that pity look. 

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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    I don't openly discuss it with others either.  But, I agree that it shouldn't be a taboo subject either. 

    DH has some medical issues that he's been told would likely make him sterile, although he has yet to get officially tested.  For me, I have some non-fertility related medical issues that would make pregnancy difficult and could create some serious long term problems and pain for me. We've both always been kind of on the line about wanting kids anyway, so with all that we've just decided that kids aren't for us and we are okay with that.  I think the only people that know the real basis of our decision is our mothers (it got them to stop pushing for grandbabies). A few people know about my health issues, including my business partner, as it affects other aspects of my life also. But, usually we just tell people we are happy with just us and our dogs and don't plan to have kids.

    I think part of the problem is that the subject of kids is a very emotional one. And getting married and having kids is just expected by society, so there is a stigma of feeling like a failure if you can't meet that societal standard. And people tend to go all pity party on you and get "that look" if you admit to having problems with fertility... and nobody likes that pity look. 

    Yes!
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    emmaaa said:

    DH and I aren't TTC yet (it'll probably be another 8 months or so) but it scares the hell out of me. I've never been told that I should expect issues TTC from my gyno but I feel like a lot of people don't necessarily know until they're TTC anyways. 


    I also know that I'll be the first one in my group of friends that will be actively TTC so if I have issues, I don't know if they would understand. 

    I'm so sorry about your emergency surgery. That really must be awful. But I agree with @ElcaB, I wouldn't disclose that to my coworkers or anyone I wasn't close to. If anyone felt the need to know why I was out of work, I would just tell them it was an emergency because any further information is none of their business.



    Same with me.  FI and I would like to start trying this fall, and I'm terrified that something will be wrong with me, and that I won't know until we are trying and emotionally invested in it. 

    @sarahufl ; sending you lots of hugs.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If H and I ever do decide to try to have kids then no one will know about it until I am 3+ months pregnant.  If we have issues, I won't talk to anyone besides my H and my Mom about it.  And like Climbingwife said, right now H and I are in the don't want kids camp and we have just started to bean dip anyone who asks us about when we have kids.  We get tired of the "why not?" and the "you will change your mind" comments.

    When it comes to medical issues I just don't feel like one needs to share that information. Because when you do you open yourself up to unsolicited advice, hurtful comments that were probably not meant to be hurtful at all but can be taken that way, etc.

    I do think it is horrible that fertility issues is seen as such a taboo subject.  But I am sure for  a while there so was cancer, and recently mental illness is slowly coming out from being taboo and much more widely talked about.  So it is a difficult thing to balance, wanting to create an open discussion where people do not feel that there is something wrong with them or not truly women for having fertility problems, but also keeping medical issues personal.

  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It still completely astonishes me that people (women, especially) think when or if I reproduce is their business. It is expected that H and I will have kids sooner, rather than later. He is 35, we both want a family, we just got a 4 bedroom house. So I don't take issue with the assumption that we WANT a family.

    However, it ceases to be amusing when the jokes keep rolling in about why I am not drinking or if I have "news to share". Perhaps the reason I haven't said anything is that I DON'T have news to share and that means you shouldn't ask.

    I was never one to ask people about their plans for children, but I certainly don't do it anymore. SIL thought NOTHING of asking me if I was pregnant the other day in front of 8 people. I was literally in the process of miscarrying a pregnancy, so I told her to mind her own and walked off.
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  • sarahufl said:

    It still completely astonishes me that people (women, especially) think when or if I reproduce is their business. It is expected that H and I will have kids sooner, rather than later. He is 35, we both want a family, we just got a 4 bedroom house. So I don't take issue with the assumption that we WANT a family.

    However, it ceases to be amusing when the jokes keep rolling in about why I am not drinking or if I have "news to share". Perhaps the reason I haven't said anything is that I DON'T have news to share and that means you shouldn't ask.

    I was never one to ask people about their plans for children, but I certainly don't do it anymore. SIL thought NOTHING of asking me if I was pregnant the other day in front of 8 people. I was literally in the process of miscarrying a pregnancy, so I told her to mind her own and walked off.

    And this will always be 100000% inappropriate. 

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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am secretly terrified that I won't be able to get pregnant.  I have this vague memory of being younger and a doctor telling my mom that I wouldn't be able to have kids when I got older (I had a couple surgeries in the pelvic area when I was young), but I don't know if it's a real memory, or manufactured.  I also am not ready to find out and right now I'm not ready for kids either.  I have had terrible periods and cysts, although I've never been officially diagnosed with PCOS or endometriosis.  A couple months ago I had a minor breakdown because I was thinking about it and I got really upset about the possibility/what it meant for me.  SO was wonderful, and he reassured me that he loved me and would be okay with whatever happened.  That meant a lot.  When we start trying, I probably won't say anything, and even if I get pregnant, I still probably won't say anything until the second trimester. 
     


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    FiancB
  • sarahufl said:

    It still completely astonishes me that people (women, especially) think when or if I reproduce is their business. It is expected that H and I will have kids sooner, rather than later. He is 35, we both want a family, we just got a 4 bedroom house. So I don't take issue with the assumption that we WANT a family.

    However, it ceases to be amusing when the jokes keep rolling in about why I am not drinking or if I have "news to share". Perhaps the reason I haven't said anything is that I DON'T have news to share and that means you shouldn't ask.

    I was never one to ask people about their plans for children, but I certainly don't do it anymore. SIL thought NOTHING of asking me if I was pregnant the other day in front of 8 people. I was literally in the process of miscarrying a pregnancy, so I told her to mind her own and walked off.

    I know you haven't yet, but once you start sharing info about your fertility with people they may see that as you opening the door to reproductive conversations.

    I'm not saying it's right, but I can see how people might draw that conclusion.

    If you really hate fielding questions about this topic, I'd keep the door comfortably closed to those people so they don't have any reason (except blatant rudeness) to prod further.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    sarahufl said:

    It still completely astonishes me that people (women, especially) think when or if I reproduce is their business. It is expected that H and I will have kids sooner, rather than later. He is 35, we both want a family, we just got a 4 bedroom house. So I don't take issue with the assumption that we WANT a family.

    However, it ceases to be amusing when the jokes keep rolling in about why I am not drinking or if I have "news to share". Perhaps the reason I haven't said anything is that I DON'T have news to share and that means you shouldn't ask.

    I was never one to ask people about their plans for children, but I certainly don't do it anymore. SIL thought NOTHING of asking me if I was pregnant the other day in front of 8 people. I was literally in the process of miscarrying a pregnancy, so I told her to mind her own and walked off.

    I know you haven't yet, but once you start sharing info about your fertility with people they may see that as you opening the door to reproductive conversations.

    I'm not saying it's right, but I can see how people might draw that conclusion.

    If you really hate fielding questions about this topic, I'd keep the door comfortably closed to those people so they don't have any reason (except blatant rudeness) to prod further.
    Oh, absolutely this. The only people I told know better than to ask in the future. Trust me, I *carefully* selected the friends I wanted to tell because I knew how they would manage the information.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    While H and I are not TTC anytime soon (and by that I mean not within the next couple years), I, too, have a fear of not being able to. I know my mom had a lot of issues TTC, and lost 4 pregnancies, but I have a question for you ladies that I think you might be able to answer: Are a woman's pregnancy history something that can be genetic? I know that every woman is different, and of course every pregnancy is different, but knowing that there can possibility that it is genetic, allows me to really think of when we should start TTC. 


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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    While H and I are not TTC anytime soon (and by that I mean not within the next couple years), I, too, have a fear of not being able to. I know my mom had a lot of issues TTC, and lost 4 pregnancies, but I have a question for you ladies that I think you might be able to answer: Are a woman's pregnancy history something that can be genetic? I know that every woman is different, and of course every pregnancy is different, but knowing that there can possibility that it is genetic, allows me to really think of when we should start TTC. 

    My understanding is that some of it CAN be genetic, but that doesn't mean it is.

    My OB ordered a full blood panel for me before we started TTC because we have a family history of blood disorders (clotting, strokes, blood cancers) and it came back fine. My sister had 2 miscarriages, but my mom never had any issues. My sister and I are twins, but my OB said there was no reason to believe her history would impact mine at all.

    You should find an OB who is proactive about that kind of stuff- mine is really diligent about family history- it is one reason I like her so much. But there is nothing she found that was at all related to this Ectopic.

    Shit luck, I suppose.
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