Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

Things that are meant to be a compliment but aren't...

emmaaaemmaaa mod
Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
in Chit Chat
What are some things people have told, as a compliment, but aren't really compliments or offends you?

For me, I get told all the time (usually by older women) that I have great "birthing hips." Excuse me? Thanks for saying I have super wide hips. The worst part is that it's usually a stranger.

Report Reply to Post
«13456

Re: Things that are meant to be a compliment but aren't...

  • blabla89blabla89 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    emmaaa said:

    What are some things people have told, as a compliment, but aren't really compliments or offends you?


    For me, I get told all the time (usually by older women) that I have great "birthing hips." Excuse me? Thanks for saying I have super wide hips. The worst part is that it's usually a stranger.
    Yep, I've gotten that one before.

    FI does it sometimes, but I can't think of one in particular off the top of my head.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker



    Report Reply
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I posted this a week or so ago but I once had a coworker tell me that my eyebrows were my best feature. I genuinely believe she was trying to compliment my eyebrows and not backhandedly tell me I'm ugly. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Report Reply
  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    This is slightly different but I had someone in another office (who I had been trying desperately to get a hold of for awhile, to schedule a meeting) tell me, "sorry I haven't gotten back to you, you just aren't high enough on the list". WTF asshole.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers



    Report Reply
  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    In high school people would always tell me I had a "big butt, but like in a good way!" (I've always been around a size 4-6 but I do have a booty that never goes away...I've learned to embrace it now).

    Like, why not just tell me you think I have a nice booty? There are more polite ways to say that...or maybe just don't comment on my body at all? Or maybe I'm just too sensitive about the booty.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


    Report Reply
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    "You look great- did you do something different?"

    Um, thanks?  
    Report Reply
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    "wow, you sure look pretty when you wear makeup!"

    I wear minimal makeup, if any, on a day to day basis. Now and then if I'm feeling a little under the weather I'll throw on some mascara and powder. To be honest, I don't wear makeup because I don't think I need it. I'm no super model, but I have nice skin and, nearing 30 I finally have the confidence to go barefaced.

    I mean, its nice that they tell me I look pretty, but it's said in a way like 'you don't usually look pretty' and it definitely knocks my confidence down a bit.
    image
    Report Reply
  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    novella1186 said:

    I get called "cute" all the time. I find it irritating because I'm tiny and short and I look a lot younger than I am, so I've always constantly gotten "aw you're cute!" or "you're so cute!" and sometimes I almost take it in a patronizing or condescending way. Why can't I ever be pretty, or gorgeous, or something not associated with a fucking kitten? Why do I always have to be cute? 



    I get this too. It does come across condescending. Children and bunnies are cute. I'm a grown adult. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • FiancBFiancB member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I was at work and a guy delivered stuff from the pharmacy. I got the sense he was trying to hit on me, but he told me my calves were huge. No points for you, son. 

    My friend and my MIL say I look like I've lost weight literally almost every time they see me. It's nice I guess, but at least half the time I've actually gained a significant amount of weight since they last saw me, so...

    Back when I did have a pretty decent body, my sister saw me in a bikini and said "oh so THAT'S why (my ex's name) likes you!" Uhh... thanks? Can't be because I'M AWESOME. Similarly, my sister met my equestrian team and one of my riding buddies gushed about how funny and awesome I am and my sister gave her a skeptical "really?". Apparently my sister thinks I'm socially incompetent and it's shocking that anyone could enjoy my company? She's pretty nice to me otherwise, I swear. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    littlepepSoontobeMrsKlein so glad I'm not alone! 

    And yeah, I'm gonna be 29 this year. I'm over being cute. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • peachy13peachy13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My co-worker asks if I'm going "crazy" at the gym for my wedding. I always feel like if someone has to ask you if you work out, it's not a great thing. It doesn't help either than whenever she swings by my desk, I'm usually eating something unhealthy:

    image
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    Report Reply
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    In my last office I had a coworker tell me that my boobs are a nice distraction away from my waistline. WTF, ass...

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    FiancB said:

    I was at work and a guy delivered stuff from the pharmacy. I got the sense he was trying to hit on me, but he told me my calves were huge. No points for you, son. 


    My friend and my MIL say I look like I've lost weight literally almost every time they see me. It's nice I guess, but at least half the time I've actually gained a significant amount of weight since they last saw me, so...

    Back when I did have a pretty decent body, my sister saw me in a bikini and said "oh so THAT'S why (my ex's name) likes you!" Uhh... thanks? Can't be because I'M AWESOME. Similarly, my sister met my equestrian team and one of my riding buddies gushed about how funny and awesome I am and my sister gave her a skeptical "really?". Apparently my sister thinks I'm socially incompetent and it's shocking that anyone could enjoy my company? She's pretty nice to me otherwise, I swear. 
    I hate when people comment on your weight and say "oh you look so good now!" So I looked awful before?!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    littlepep said:

    novella1186 said:

    I get called "cute" all the time. I find it irritating because I'm tiny and short and I look a lot younger than I am, so I've always constantly gotten "aw you're cute!" or "you're so cute!" and sometimes I almost take it in a patronizing or condescending way. Why can't I ever be pretty, or gorgeous, or something not associated with a fucking kitten? Why do I always have to be cute? 



    I get this too. It does come across condescending. Children and bunnies are cute. I'm a grown adult. 
    This is me too. I was out at the bar last year with some college friends and one of the girls we were hanging out with said I was "so adorable." I wanted to throw my drink at her face.
                                 Anniversary
    imageimageimage


     

    Report Reply
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    princessofgenovia said:

    I had this really weird...compliment not compliment thing happens. Lady asks me if I'm pregnant and I go "Uh...no" and ps thanks for asking if I'm fat. And then she goes "Oh, it's not because you look fat, it's because you look tired. Don't worry, you're still pretty and not fat. Just tired looking". The fuck?


    I also had a guy in a club tell me I had a nice ass for a white girl. He was suprised when I refused to give him a hand job in his car.
    There's a lady in my office who will come by my desk to say hi, and then say "Are you tired? [or sick]" 

    I pretty much always say yes because I never sleep well, and then she'll say, "Yeah I can tell. You look awful." 

    K thanks. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Several years ago I had a random kid on the train tell me I look fat today. He like, came over and interrupted my conversation with my sister. I'm not even fat. His parents weren't even embarrassed or apologetic at all. The mom laughed and said he tells her that all the time. I would have been mortified if my kid did that. 

    But it's become a joke with my sister and I. If we remember, we'll tell each other "you look fat today" every time we see each other. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Report Reply
  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    themuffinman16 said:

    My worst insult was when I did my hair and makeup for Easter, and wore dress clothes. My nine month old niece was bawling because she had no idea who I was.This girl has never cried in y arms. Thanks, Maddie, for making me feel like I let myself go the other days of the year! JERK!!!


    I don't wear much makeup regularly so whenever I do people always comment on it. It always makes me feel weird like I'm not wearing enough on a regular basis. 

    I just really can't be bothered to give a fuck about eye shadow/eyeliner at work unless I have a big event/meeting. 

    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Kids are the best at making yourself feel really good about yourself.  I forget the exact wording my niece used but one day she basically told my sister that she looked really old.  My sister came back under her breath with a "well you are the reason for 90% of these wrinkle."

    My poor H isn't told outright by his Dad that he is fat or an alcoholic (which, yes he is a bit overweight and knows it and is working on it, but certainly is not an alcoholic) but rather is told that he should go to the doctor because diabetes runs in the family or after laughing about his St. Patty's day adventures his Dad says that alcoholism runs in the family.

    Report Reply
  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    "I'd fuck you"

    Oh.....thanks
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    Report Reply
  • peachy13peachy13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    One time I was wearing a white sundress and a girl I was hanging out with in a group told me that she had the skin tone to wear white and that I had the size. So implying that my skin tone looks shitty in white. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    Report Reply
  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I was in a meeting this morning.  One of the ladies cut her hair, like from long to pixie cut.  Someone told her that the new haircut makes her look "many years younger".  It's true, but still sounded bad.

    image 

    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "Are you boobs real?" 

    Yes, I've been asked this many times, even by my MIL. If you are not close enough to me to know whether or not my boobs are real, then I'm probably not interested in discussing them with you. 

    And when I answer, it's always followed up with something like, "Wow, they look fake. You're so lucky!" 
    Report Reply
  • katiekessler123katiekessler123 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    A little off topic- but  how about when someone says to you, "Wow..you look tired today!"  It's basically them telling you that you look like total shit.  Always makes me mad.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards