Dumb invite question

amelisha · April 2015

So we got this RSVP card and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to put in the blank...Mr. Lastname and Ms. Maidenname? Is that what the M is for? (And if so, does it matter that we'll be Mr. and Mrs. by the wedding?) The outside of the invite wasn't addressed formally, just with our first and last names together on the same line, so it seems weird to write it like that when the rest of the invite is casual.

I'm not doing formal invites so I know nothing about this and I've never seen it with the M hanging there before.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

amelisha said:
So we got this RSVP card and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to put in the blank...Mr. Lastname and Ms. Maidenname? Is that what the M is for? (And if so, does it matter that we'll be Mr. and Mrs. by the wedding?) The outside of the invite wasn't addressed formally, just with our first and last names together on the same line, so it seems weird to write it like that when the rest of the invite is casual.

I'm not doing formal invites so I know nothing about this and I've never seen it with the M hanging there before.

Yeah, it confuses me too. The last one I got, I just wrote "Jim and Sally" on the line and ignored the random M hanging out there. They know who you are. Don't overthink it.

CMGragain · April 2015

"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

Yes, the M is for your title. But I would write it the way you want to be addressed on the escort card at the wedding. Don't care if it's not accurate now; it will be then.

ashley8918 · April 2015

The M is for Mr./Ms./Mrs. etc.

amelisha · April 2015

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.

We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.

CMGragain · April 2015

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.

No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note. I have heard a few stories about verbal invitations that were misunderstood, including one in my own family. That may not be the case for you, but you should extend the courtesy of a paper invitation to your guests, family or not.

amelisha · April 2015

CMGragain said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.
No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note.

I don't, actually. What purpose would they serve, exactly?

larrygaga · April 2015

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.

She can do any invite she wants to do. She's better than us if she does it in a way that saves paper.

Give me a real, solid reason why you need formal paper invites.

princessofgenovia · April 2015

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.
No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note.
I don't, actually. What purpose would they serve, exactly?

PROPER. IT WOULD BE PROPER.

thisismynickname2 · April 2015

Honestly, every RSVP card I've ever received started with an M, no matter how formal or informal. I just sent back one day with "Mr. DH and Nickname Lastname" in it. Last week, I sent back another the same way (five weddings this year, woooo).

My best friend who received mine for her wedding texted me to say I'm the ONLY person so far who sent back the card with the M properly filled out. I was surprised. I said, "Well, that's what it's for."

If you didn't have it, you'd have this blank line that people would wonder about it. Or you'd have to put something like "Names:_________ __accept __decline". Space saver.

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

I think for less than 20 people you do not need formal invitations if you don't want to do them.

Why does she need paper invitations, because it's a wedding? She has a printed itinerary; that seems like it would have all the info the guests would need.

I had more people at my rehearsal dinner, and we just sent emails/word of mouth for that.

ashley8918 · April 2015

princessofgenovia said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.
No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note.
I don't, actually. What purpose would they serve, exactly?
PROPER. IT WOULD BE PROPER.

WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?! THE HORROR!

larrygaga · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

princessofgenovia said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.
No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note.
I don't, actually. What purpose would they serve, exactly?
PROPER. IT WOULD BE PROPER.
WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?! THE HORROR!

No need for sarcasm.

princessofgenovia · April 2015

larrygaga said:

ashley8918 said:

princessofgenovia said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:

amelisha said:

CMGragain said:
"Ms. Current name and Mr. Lastname". This is why you should address all personal mail formally. It eliminates confusion.

What do you mean by not doing formal invites (invitations)? Are you having guests? If you are, then you should send them formal, paper invitations, even if they are only handwritten notes.
We're going to Vegas with our parents and ten of our best friends. We asked them all individually in person. No invites needed. Everyone's already booked flights and hotel rooms and we gave them each a little printed itinerary so they know where to meet us etc. on the day. I have absolutely zero need to waste time and money on formal invitations, and certainly no need to mail anything when we only invited people we see weekly at least. I just handed everyone the little itinerary as I saw them this week, actually.

We're not into tradition for the sake of it - everyone knows when and where it is and that we're excited to see them there, and I already know they're all coming so no need to RSVP.

Drop the pearls.
No need for sarcasm. Yes, you DO need formal paper invitations. They can be as simple as a handwritten note.
I don't, actually. What purpose would they serve, exactly?
PROPER. IT WOULD BE PROPER.
WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?! THE HORROR!
No need for sarcasm.

There is always a need for sarcasm. There are children in Africa without sarcasm. Do you know what their daily lives are like without sarcasm?

amelisha · April 2015

LOL. Here, if it'll slow your roll I'll show you the little itineraries I gave out so everyone can find us/shows up at the right time to get a ride to the chapel.

So silly. The little group of friends who are coming are my "hide-a-body-at-3AM" crowd and we are way past "proper". More like "hey, can you come over and help me give myself a Brazilian?" or "remember that time you came over for Netflix and wine and barfed all over my bathtub and got lost walking home so I had to come dig you out of a snowbank?" They really don't need an invitation, even a "handwritten note" from me after they've already booked their flights.

amelisha · April 2015

thisismynickname said:
Honestly, every RSVP card I've ever received started with an M, no matter how formal or informal. I just sent back one day with "Mr. DH and Nickname Lastname" in it. Last week, I sent back another the same way (five weddings this year, woooo).
My best friend who received mine for her wedding texted me to say I'm the ONLY person so far who sent back the card with the M properly filled out. I was surprised. I said, "Well, that's what it's for."
If you didn't have it, you'd have this blank line that people would wonder about it. Or you'd have to put something like "Names:_________ __accept __decline". Space saver.

I've only ever seen the blank line! And thanks for actually explaining that that's what it's for. I seriously had no idea.

larrygaga · April 2015

I think I actually put on mine Name____________ because holy shit I don't want to deal with nobody knowing what it means and sending back plain cards. That's what happened to my cousin.

anjemon · April 2015

amelisha said:
LOL. Here, if it'll slow your roll I'll show you the little itineraries I gave out so everyone can find us/shows up at the right time to get a ride to the chapel.

So silly. The little group of friends who are coming are my "hide-a-body-at-3AM" crowd and we are way past "proper". More like "hey, can you come over and help me give myself a Brazilian?" or "remember that time you came over for Netflix and wine and barfed all over my bathtub and got lost walking home so I had to come dig you out of a snowbank?" They really don't need an invitation, even a "handwritten note" from me after they've already booked their flights.

For the purposes of this conversation, I would just consider the itinerary their "invite". Because a piece of paper that includes where to be and when is all they need. You don't need to be more formal and you've already got it all written down.

But yeah, not a traditional invite.

amelisha · April 2015

Not even sure why I worried about doing it right, as this one came with a "please give us money" poem and is at a resort a hour drive from even the smallest town with a four-hour gap between ceremony and reception that's too early to even check in to the hotel. But still. Didn't want to look like an idiot. And now I know!

princessofgenovia · April 2015

I've always just written my name on the line. So it looks like this M._Amelia Thermopolis__

I mean...Princess starts with P not M anyways...

blabla89 · April 2015

I have nothing to contribute to contribute to OP's question. But I glanced at the invite too fast and for a second I misread it as saying "bring food".

amelisha · April 2015

blabla89 said:
I have nothing to contribute to contribute to OP's question. But I glanced at the invite too fast and for a second I misread it as saying "bring food".

We're probably going to have to, though, with the four-hour gap in the middle of nowhere...

artbyallie · April 2015

princessofgenovia said:
I've always just written my name on the line. So it looks like this M._Amelia Thermopolis__

I mean...Princess starts with P not M anyways...

I loved this for using the name. But if it's a formal invitation I'm assuming you actually put M. Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, no?

princessofgenovia · April 2015

artbyallie said:

princessofgenovia said:
I've always just written my name on the line. So it looks like this M._Amelia Thermopolis__

I mean...Princess starts with P not M anyways...
I loved this for using the name. But if it's a formal invitation I'm assuming you actually put M. Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, no?

Only for the formalist of invitations. I get a hand cramp writing all of that out.

littlepep · April 2015

princessofgenovia said:
I've always just written my name on the line. So it looks like this M._Amelia Thermopolis__

I mean...Princess starts with P not M anyways...

I've always done it that way too because I had no idea what it meant.

kvruns · April 2015

our RSVP cards have the M___________ line. So far everyone has done it correctly, although my brothers said they were confused by it. I've always seen it done this way so I was surprised they were confused.

emmaaa · April 2015

I see you already got the answer for that so I wanted to share a story. We did "formal" invites and had the little M_________ on the RSVP cards. One of our good friends oculdn't figure out what it meant so sent it back saying: ""M"ost definitely John Smith"

flutteringinfl · April 2015

I like that you have to write a "creative excuse" for going. Har, har, they're so witty.

mikenberger · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
I like that you have to write a "creative excuse" for going. Har, har, they're so witty.

And you get to rate your excitement!

flutteringinfl · April 2015

mikenberger said:

flutteringinfl said:
I like that you have to write a "creative excuse" for going. Har, har, they're so witty.
And you get to rate your excitement!

Oh man, I missed that at first. These people are the definition of not understanding the whole "No one cares about your wedding as much as you do" thing.

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