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Moms and Maids
spglsp
member
Increasingly frustrated with upcoming bachelorette party
I don't know how much of this is going to be rant and how much is actually looking for a solution so bear with me. I'm in the bridal party for a wedding that is becoming increasingly cost prohibitive. It's destination with a pricey bridesmaid dress (which no one was consulted on re: budget). Most recently the bachelorette party is becoming a nightmare. The maid of honor never asked for budgets either which started off as fine because the initial invitation seemed manageable. It was originally dinner and drinks. Now, as we get closer to the date (and everyone has already RSVP'd), she's started adding things to the day like a cooking class, a photo shoot, and most recently a bridal bootcamp. I have no idea how much any of these things cost but she's graciously offered to invoice the guests after the event. I don't know any of the other guests and MOH has been fairly rude to me when I email her questions about the event. The only person I actually know is the bride and it's a surprise party so she has no idea what's going on. I've already bailed from the bootcamp but I'm starting to think I need to get out of this entirely. The reality is it's just not affordable, particularly when paired with all the other expenses involved in this wedding. I would bring this up with the host but the event is so close and she keeps adding things. I'm thinking of pulling out of the bachelorette entirely but I don't want to hurt my friend or get into a fight with MOH leading up to the big day. Any advice?
Just Married!
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Re: Increasingly frustrated with upcoming bachelorette party
I'd rather know if my BMs were having some difficulty being pressured into something ridiculous than preserve my own surprise. Seems kind of selfish.
I agree that the BM should hopefully be able to handle it on her own (by saying no) and therefore there are ways to handle it that don't involve the bride, but if someone thought their only recourse to another BM's pushiness was to talk to me, I can't imagine getting angry with them.
Not taking an active part in the planning is one thing, but I won't stand for people bullying each other to plan things ostensibly for me. These are people I asked to be in my wedding party to honor them, not to be bullied. If that means no "surprises," then so be it. I also refuse to be accused of "overinvolvement" in the plans or "impropriety" if I have to step in to stop the bullying, because clearly the bullies are not capable of acting like adults. Whether the bullied are acting like adults or not in not being able to put a stop to it themselves, although I won't otherwise involve myself in the plans, I would still step in to stop bullying.