Ceremony is in different town than Reception

anrforanr · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
i know its asking a lot but for example...to go out on a date in a sit down restaurant(not mcdonalds or subway) you have to make this commute. the only stores here are target and walmart anything bigger or specialty you have to do the 2 hours. to go anywhere, besides the mountains where there is nothing but dirt trails and illegals crossing the border, you have to make this commute. it sucks but most of us do it so often its not even that bad...the worst part is coming home because there is absolutely nothing on the road to keep you awake.

You may be used to it, but your guests will not be. Unless they are all from your town (which I doubt), it will seem like a very long drive, and will be rude either way.

You just need to decide if your church is more important, or if your "vision" for your reception is more important.

anrforanr · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
most of our guests are from out of state actually
i was thinking about making the ceremony very small then doing a big reception therefore not asking very many people to leave the big town.

Other people will tell you, this is rude too. Unless your very small ceremony is pretty much immediate family, it's rude and gift-grabby to just invite people to the reception.

lyndausvi · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
i know its asking a lot but for example...to go out on a date in a sit down restaurant(not mcdonalds or subway) you have to make this commute. the only stores here are target and walmart anything bigger or specialty you have to do the 2 hours. to go anywhere, besides the mountains where there is nothing but dirt trails and illegals crossing the border, you have to make this commute. it sucks but most of us do it so often its not even that bad...the worst part is coming home because there is absolutely nothing on the road to keep you awake.

The closest Target and Walmart from me is 30 miles (takes about 40 minutes). We also have a Bed, Bath and Beyond and Lowe's there too. Then next closest mall type place is over 2 hours away. The closest Nissian dealership is over 2 ours away (which is the type of car we have). Home Depot 1.5 hours away.

We have a Wendy's here, other than that the next closest fast food is 30 miles away. So yeah, I get being out in the middle of no where. But you do have a Target and Walmart. They do not put those store in areas without a decent population. I think if you try harder you can find something closer then 2 hours away.

Knottie1429123316 · April 2015

So long home parish! there is no way I'm having the reception in my town. thanks for your input everyone. i will look into churches in the big town

lyndausvi · April 2015

Hey, I get there are areas that are difficult to find a place. So I would even go out an hour. 2 hours, no.

lilacck28 · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
So long home parish! there is no way I'm having the reception in my town. thanks for your input everyone. i will look into churches in the big town

Good. You made the choice, now you can move on and find a church and reception venue that will be much more convenient for your guests! That's great.

JCbride2015 · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
So long home parish! there is no way I'm having the reception in my town. thanks for your input everyone. i will look into churches in the big town

Good choice! Your guests will be so much more comfortable.

CMGragain · April 2015

Please remember, OP, that when you invite guests to your wedding, their needs are more important than any wedding vision you might have. It sounds like you are listening to PPs, and are now on the right track. Good luck.

ashley8918 · April 2015

scribe95 said:
If you have a Target and Walmart there has to be something. Eagles or VFW halls? Parks? Does your church have a hall?

Yes. This. They dont generally put these big box stores in teeny-tiny-middle-of-nowhere towns. I think that you are being too picky.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

scribe95 said:
If you have a Target and Walmart there has to be something. Eagles or VFW halls? Parks? Does your church have a hall?
Yes. This. They dont generally put these big box stores in teeny-tiny-middle-of-nowhere towns. I think that you are being too picky.

Ehhhhhh I'm getting married two hours away from my hometown because I'm in an area with a Target, 3 Walmarts, several "specialty" big boxes like Best Buy and BB&B, and nowhere I'd want to host a wedding reception. We only have one really nice restaurant in the entire county, and FI works there so he's pretty against using them. Are there venues to be used? Yeah, sure - barn-type places and run-down VFW halls and one shitty City Meeting Center.

So I get the desire to go elsewhere for a reception, even if the area is big enough for a Walmart. OP made a good choice, I think - as much as it sucks for her to have to choose between her home church and a decent reception venue.

ashley8918 · April 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

scribe95 said:
If you have a Target and Walmart there has to be something. Eagles or VFW halls? Parks? Does your church have a hall?
Yes. This. They dont generally put these big box stores in teeny-tiny-middle-of-nowhere towns. I think that you are being too picky.
Ehhhhhh I'm getting married two hours away from my hometown because I'm in an area with a Target, 3 Walmarts, several "specialty" big boxes like Best Buy and BB&B, and nowhere I'd want to host a wedding reception. We only have one really nice restaurant in the entire county, and FI works there so he's pretty against using them. Are there venues to be used? Yeah, sure - barn-type places and run-down VFW halls and one shitty City Meeting Center.

So I get the desire to go elsewhere for a reception, even if the area is big enough for a Walmart. OP made a good choice, I think - as much as it sucks for her to have to choose between her home church and a decent reception venue.

Oh sure. There may not be super desireable venues.

I just meant that if she was SO dead set on her church (which I now see she is not-probably a good choice), there had to be SOMEWHERE. (park, restaurant, etc) Like, it didn't sound like a 600 person town that didn't even have a gas station, you know?

Blue_Bird · April 2015

OP, if you want to keep your home parish, is a cake and punch reception in the church basement an option? It may not be exactly what you want, but you'd get to keep your church and it would be polite.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

scribe95 said:
If you have a Target and Walmart there has to be something. Eagles or VFW halls? Parks? Does your church have a hall?
Yes. This. They dont generally put these big box stores in teeny-tiny-middle-of-nowhere towns. I think that you are being too picky.
Ehhhhhh I'm getting married two hours away from my hometown because I'm in an area with a Target, 3 Walmarts, several "specialty" big boxes like Best Buy and BB&B, and nowhere I'd want to host a wedding reception. We only have one really nice restaurant in the entire county, and FI works there so he's pretty against using them. Are there venues to be used? Yeah, sure - barn-type places and run-down VFW halls and one shitty City Meeting Center.

So I get the desire to go elsewhere for a reception, even if the area is big enough for a Walmart. OP made a good choice, I think - as much as it sucks for her to have to choose between her home church and a decent reception venue.
Oh sure. There may not be super desireable venues.

I just meant that if she was SO dead set on her church (which I now see she is not-probably a good choice), there had to be SOMEWHERE. (park, restaurant, etc) Like, it didn't sound like a 600 person town that didn't even have a gas station, you know?

Yeah, haha. I just wanted to posit a reason for considering this, especially since I half-considered it too before I came here.

TK has been an etiquette godsend for me hahaha.

TrixieJess · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
ok. when you type in my town here on the knot website looking for wedding venues, it sends you to the town that is two hours away.
im not trying to make excuses for what i want to do, but people are used to this drive here. i do it weekly, some people even work or go to school in the other town and do it daily. its kind of expected here.

My CITY doesn't show up on The Knot site, because I'm Canadian and I don't live in Toronto or Vancouver. Guess what? I found a venue 20 minutes from my house. How? By asking around and googling. If it's a Catholic church there has to be a Parrish Hall, why can't you have a reception there. Most of the Catholic Churches I've been in have full kitchens and a women's league.

A gap is unimaginably rude, do not do this!

ChemFanatic25 · April 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?

Cookie Pusher · April 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?

I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.

ChemFanatic25 · April 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.

I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.

redoryx · April 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.

Is it weird that since taking up running I've totally marked the spots I'd hide a body if need be? Like, there are areas near me that I'm convinced have been dumping grounds because of how perfect they are for that

Cookie Pusher · April 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.

Nah, I'm in Jersey, you can easily hide bodies less than 2 hours from my house!

NowIAmSyp · April 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.
Nah, I'm in Jersey, you can easily hide bodies less than 2 hours from my house!

My house backs up to an 11 acre wildlife preserve...

jus' sayin....

Cookie Pusher · April 2015

soontobesyp said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.
Nah, I'm in Jersey, you can easily hide bodies less than 2 hours from my house!
My house backs up to an 11 acre wildlife preserve...

jus' sayin....

Watchung Reservation and Great Swamp are only a few minutes away from me. And don't forget the swamp right off the Turnpike!

plainjane0415 · April 2015

notdoingitbythebook said:
Gaps are common to the point of expected at all the weddings I've ever attended or heard about when a church is involved. This gap happens usually when the ceremony is early and the couple use the time for photos and all that jazz. It's pretty much expected and people just deal with it.

I will say that a gap with a 2 hour travel time is not cool. There was one point where we were going to have a location for the ceremony and for the reception but I refused because the drive time was an hour.

Surely there is a location in your area that would be somewhat acceptable. Church hall? It's amazing what drape rentals can do to change the look of a room.

Just because it's common doesn't excuse the fact that it's rude as hell.

SP29 · April 2015

2 hours is too far to drive. If *everyone* was from your local town and was used to the drive, I'd say OK because they would know they'd be booking a hotel for the night, but to expect guests from out of town to drive into your town (probably a few hours right?) and then drive another 2 hours for the reception is too much. You would likely have a lot of guests not come or leave early.

Not inviting all guests to the ceremony is rude- the ceremony IS the wedding. The reception is to thank your guests for attending the ceremony. It looks gift grabby to invite people to the reception only, and personally, I'd be offended and feel like a second rate guest that I wasn't important enough to witness your ceremony, but was important enough to show up with a gift.

Does your church have a basement? For one of my friends, it was very important to have their wedding at her church, so they did the reception in the church basement. Brought in a caterer and their own decor- she said it also saved her a lot of money. And it looked lovely.

However, I see you are looking out of town, and I think that is best- keep your ceremony and reception location close.

ChemFanatic25 · April 2015

redoryx said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.
Is it weird that since taking up running I've totally marked the spots I'd hide a body if need be? Like, there are areas near me that I'm convinced have been dumping grounds because of how perfect they are for that

When I used to run cross country I used to think "someone easily could grab me, kill me, and hide my body and people could run by without being none the wiser in these woods." I used to run in pretty heavily wooded areas.

ChemFanatic25 · April 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

soontobesyp said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Knottie22853975 said:
I live in a very small town that I don't like very much. The closest place is 2 hours away. However, i want to be married in my church, which is in my town. is there any way to make a 2 hour travel distance acceptable?
There is no one, NO ONE, I would do that for. I would hide bodies for the people I love, but anyone who would think their wedding vision is more important than my time (and comfort) clearly doesn't love me the same way.

**SITB!**

What if you drove two hours to hide the bodies?
I'd drive two hours to hide bodies. Would I drive two hours (after already coming in from out of town) because your wedding vision says that's the only appropriate place for you to feed and water me? Fuck no.
I hope you know I was just joking around, cause you most likely have to drive quite a ways to hide a body.
Nah, I'm in Jersey, you can easily hide bodies less than 2 hours from my house!
My house backs up to an 11 acre wildlife preserve...

jus' sayin....
Watchung Reservation and Great Swamp are only a few minutes away from me. And don't forget the swamp right off the Turnpike!

A natural tar pit, what you need is a tar pit. It's the perfect crime scene. People will think that whatever body is found are pre-historic remains of a perfectly preserved specimen.

flbride2015 · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
i know its asking a lot but for example...to go out on a date in a sit down restaurant(not mcdonalds or subway) you have to make this commute. the only stores here are target and walmart anything bigger or specialty you have to do the 2 hours. to go anywhere, besides the mountains where there is nothing but dirt trails and illegals crossing the border, you have to make this commute. it sucks but most of us do it so often its not even that bad...the worst part is coming home because there is absolutely nothing on the road to keep you awake.

Seriously?

Knottie1429123316 · April 2015

yes lol i always carry when we go hiking and so does my fiance. there are signs the whole way up the trail that say things like "warning! entering area where illegals or animals may be spotted. please do not confront!"

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
yes lol i always carry when we go hiking and so does my fiance. there are signs the whole way up the trail that say things like "warning! entering area where illegals or animals may be spotted. please do not confront!"

Is it your intention to shoot "illegals"? How would you know if they were citizens? Or does one just rely on straight up racial profiling?

ETA: and also, why are you so scared of these people that you are prepared to shoot them? Do you think they're going to steal your passport?

Knottie1429123316 · April 2015

Ive never had to use it. personally, ive never seen any but the signs are humorous .

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Knottie22853975 said:
Ive never had to use it. personally, ive never seen any but the signs are humorous .

But you don't carry a gun without the intention of using it. So obviously the signs are more than just humorous for you.

Ceremony is in different town than Reception

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