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Eloping Etiquette Advice - When to tell your family

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Re: Eloping Etiquette Advice - When to tell your family

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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    I am sad for you, Ashley.
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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    edited April 2015
    CMGragain said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.

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    ETA Do you feel sorry for my husband? PLEASE say you feel sorry for my husband.
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    esstee33esstee33 member
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    edited July 2015
    CMGragain said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.

    What the actual fuck? 

    I'm sure Ashley is just heartbroken. DEVASTATED. 

    Didn't you GBCK? That didn't last long.
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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    edited April 2015
    esstee33 said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.
    What the actual fuck? 

    I'm sure Ashley is just heartbroken. DEVASTATED. 

    Didn't you GBCK? That didn't last long.


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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    ashley8918 said:

    CMGragain said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.

    image

    ETA Do you feel sorry for my husband? PLEASE say you feel sorry for my husband.
    I feel so sorry for your husband. Super sorry for him. Go ahead and do that shot now.
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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    MagicInk said:

    My wife's mother and older siblings have no idea we're married.

    I'm sure as fuck not calling that homophobic cunt or her twat children. But I can get her number for you cmg and you can let her know you're sad for her daughter and she can tell you how she prays for her.

    My parents see me as my own independent adult person. My life events are not their life events. None of them would have given a shit if we ran off to get married. So long as we let them buy us dinner when we got back.

    Well, obviously your parents are inferior to CMG. SHe is the ultimate parent.

    I feel sad for you.
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    lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    ashley8918 said:

    CMGragain said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.

    image

    ETA Do you feel sorry for my husband? PLEASE say you feel sorry for my husband.
    You've been "back" for like a day and literally haven't learned anything. ..cool.

    Formerly martha1818

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    MinBride29MinBride29 member
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    hellosweetie1015 said:

    Yeah, CMGr, I don't think one is obligated to immediately call your absolute nearest and dearest after eloping, ESPECIALLY if you're on vacation. Should you? Yeah, probably, it'd be a good idea. But an obligation MUST be done. I'm OBLIGATED to give my boss notice if I know I'm going to be out of the office ahead of time. I'm not OBLIGATED to call my mother the instant I'm married.

    I have a FANTASTIC relationship with my mother, and a fairly good relationship with my dad, and great relationships with my siblings. That doesn't mean I'm obligated to call them. I don't want to spend my whole wedding night on the phone. I want to spend it celebrating with my new husband.



    I guess I would be breaking etiquette then because I wasn't intending on calling my parents immediately after the ceremony. For one thing, we're going to be getting our photos taken at a National Park, driving back to the City and going straight to our dinner. We want to enjoy our first evening together as husband and wife. I was really thinking about whether we should be informing our family while still away or wait until we come back.

    I'm not sure I understand why it is 'devastating' for a mother to hear about their daughter's wedding after they return from their trip... It's not like they weren't going to tell them and hide it from them.

    I have learned that there is no right or wrong and most are of the same opinion as me. Every family has their own dynamic so we will ultimately do what we think is right for us.

    I appreciate all the feedback! :)

    After being together for over 11 years and being engaged for over 3 years, we finally got hitched!
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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    MagicInk said:

    ashley8918 said:

    CMGragain said:

    I am sad for you, Ashley.

    image

    ETA Do you feel sorry for my husband? PLEASE say you feel sorry for my husband.
    I feel so sorry for your husband. Super sorry for him. Go ahead and do that shot now.
    You are a good friend.

    image
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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    ashley8918 said:

    MagicInk said:

    My wife's mother and older siblings have no idea we're married.

    I'm sure as fuck not calling that homophobic cunt or her twat children. But I can get her number for you cmg and you can let her know you're sad for her daughter and she can tell you how she prays for her.

    My parents see me as my own independent adult person. My life events are not their life events. None of them would have given a shit if we ran off to get married. So long as we let them buy us dinner when we got back.

    Well, obviously your parents are inferior to CMG. SHe is the ultimate parent.

    I feel sad for you.
    I have terrible parents. Do you feel sorry for my wife? These are in ILs.
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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    MagicInk said:

    ashley8918 said:

    MagicInk said:

    My wife's mother and older siblings have no idea we're married.

    I'm sure as fuck not calling that homophobic cunt or her twat children. But I can get her number for you cmg and you can let her know you're sad for her daughter and she can tell you how she prays for her.

    My parents see me as my own independent adult person. My life events are not their life events. None of them would have given a shit if we ran off to get married. So long as we let them buy us dinner when we got back.

    Well, obviously your parents are inferior to CMG. SHe is the ultimate parent.

    I feel sad for you.
    I have terrible parents. Do you feel sorry for my wife? These are in ILs.
    I feel sorry for your wife's mother and siblings. SHE IS OBLIGATED TO TELL THEM YOU ARE MARRIED. Those poor, poor bigots. 
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    hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    MinBride29 said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    Yeah, CMGr, I don't think one is obligated to immediately call your absolute nearest and dearest after eloping, ESPECIALLY if you're on vacation. Should you? Yeah, probably, it'd be a good idea. But an obligation MUST be done. I'm OBLIGATED to give my boss notice if I know I'm going to be out of the office ahead of time. I'm not OBLIGATED to call my mother the instant I'm married.

    I have a FANTASTIC relationship with my mother, and a fairly good relationship with my dad, and great relationships with my siblings. That doesn't mean I'm obligated to call them. I don't want to spend my whole wedding night on the phone. I want to spend it celebrating with my new husband.



    I guess I would be breaking etiquette then because I wasn't intending on calling my parents immediately after the ceremony. For one thing, we're going to be getting our photos taken at a National Park, driving back to the City and going straight to our dinner. We want to enjoy our first evening together as husband and wife. I was really thinking about whether we should be informing our family while still away or wait until we come back.

    I'm not sure I understand why it is 'devastating' for a mother to hear about their daughter's wedding after they return from their trip... It's not like they weren't going to tell them and hide it from them.

    I have learned that there is no right or wrong and most are of the same opinion as me. Every family has their own dynamic so we will ultimately do what we think is right for us.

    I appreciate all the feedback! :)

    To be clear I certainly don't think you're breaking any etiquette. I personally wouldn't call my mother night of. I'd probably call her the next morning after I woke up because I would be bursting at the seams if I didn't, but no way in hell would I be calling her that night. I'd be too busy... eating. Or something. ;) it's your WEDDING NIGHT, and it's just you and your new husband.

    I guess I could have clarified my "should you" bit a little - if you're going to tell them, soonish is probably better than laterish, but soonish is different for everyone. Soonish for me? Next morning. Soonish for other people? When they get home. Or when they talk next. Whatever works for your dynamic, you know?
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    MinBride29MinBride29 member
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    @hellosweetie1015 Thanks for the clarification. Soonish works for me. :) And yes, it's different for everyone!

    No matter how we choose to get married, we would be disappointing people... we can't afford to have a large wedding that suits our families 'needs' nor is it something we want to do. Therefore, elopement is our wedding of choice and we are excited and looking forward to it. People may or may not be happy with our decision but we're not going to let it stop us from finally getting married after being together for over 11 years and engaged for over 3.

    After being together for over 11 years and being engaged for over 3 years, we finally got hitched!
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Best wishes for a beautiful wedding day!
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