My husband's cousin is getting married far from us, but very close to my grandfather. This year, we decided to visit and stay with my grandfather the same week of the wedding, so we can make 1 trip instead of 2. His cousin has told us that they want us to stay at the wedding hotel for 2 days & nights because the wedding is a weekend affair and they want us to participate in the activities. To quote parts of the email, they are saying "it is important that you stay at the hotel both nights. We are taking care of accomodations and that is that! We are sending this email to [other relatives] so they can make sure you stay at the hotel with the rest of the family. We need you to stay with all of us or it will not be as much as we want it to be. Okay, so just say yes, please!" They offered to pay for the hotel, which is nice, but it's not the cost that is a concern. It is frustrating because we have made plans with my grandfather. Given the distance, we only see him once a year, and we have limited vacation time, so we would like to maximize our time with him. We see this cousin almost once a month. Is appropriate to tell the bride and groom that we are honored, but we already have plans? How do we respond to the email they sent us? Thank you for your input on this!