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Biogirl2010 · April 2015

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geebee908 · April 2015

Well, since you're not having a wedding she really can't miss that because she already did miss it. You're married. If you don't want him at your vow renewal, you don't invite her. If you want her there, you have to deal with him too. Life's full of hard choices; better get used to it.

banana468 · April 2015

1) Are you getting divorced and remarried? If not, your mother already missed her only child's wedding.

2)Did this dude give your mother a labotomy? Because if not, your mother did these things of her own free will. I get not liking the BF but based on this story, your mom was an equal participant and wouldn't be invited either.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

MUD

thespeshulestsnowflake · April 2015

Biogirl2010 said:
My H and I are renewing our vows in October of 2016 (he is military and we eloped this past July to end the long distance) Anyway, my relationship with my mother has been incredibly strained ever since this boyfriend entered her life. I had just turned 18 at the time and my mother and I were living in my grandmother's house. I was still in my senior year of school and also looking for jobs to make some of my own money. My mother was already starting the "you're 18 you don't need me" crap. She was not only using it financially but also to avoid spending any time with me at all. My grandparents both work at theme parks and I would always ask just to have a day to go and have fun. She would always refuse, after her bf came into the picture however...she went with him. She did everything with him that I had begged her to take me to do. I later got hired at Disney which had been my dream since I was little, he made rude comments. He called mickey a "damn corrupt mouse" among many other things he had said to kill my joy at being hired. My mother and I got into a fight over this in front of him because she didn't defend me or anything and she walked out on me for him. fast forward 1 month...she moved in with him and left me at my grandparents and officially cast me off as not her issue. She was never around when I needed to talk and I wouldn't see her unless it was a family function. This guy has taken her from her daughter, puts pictures of his son in the house but none of me. He even makes things up to my family to make me look bad. I can not stand him, my husband can't, nobody in my family can stand this jerk. That is what he is, a selfish insensitive jerk and my mother has done nothing but become his lapdog. I do not want him at my wedding, nor does anybody else. I do however have a real fear that she would miss her own daughter's wedding (ONLY CHILD) if she couldn't bring this assclown.

JIC

mikenberger · April 2015

Yeah, you're already married. She already missed your wedding. Stop making things complicated.

YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED.

climbingsingle · April 2015

This sounds like the rantings of a 16 year old. Maybe go write this in your diary.

You eloped. That was your wedding, babychild.

blabla89 · April 2015

Why do you need a vow renewal after two years? Did your marriage expire or something?

Like PPs have said, THIS IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. She already missed it when you eloped. All that aside, the rule holds that whether it's a wedding, a vow renewal celebration, or pretty much any other social situation, you cannot invite someone without their SO.

ETA: I know this is probably MUD but it still makes me ragey

JennyColada · April 2015

You've been married for not even a year. Your vows should be good and new, if you already need to think of renewing them then isn't that a bit worrisome for the health of your relationship?

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

You should definitely push him off a cliff. It's the only reasonable solution.

JennyColada · April 2015

lolo883 said:
You should definitely push him off a cliff. It's the only reasonable solution.

Life insurance = new shoes!

Edit: I thought you meant push the DH. Whoops. Lol.

ShesSoCold · April 2015

Biogirl2010 said:
My H and I are renewing our vows in October of 2016 (he is military and we eloped this past July to end the long distance) Anyway, my relationship with my mother has been incredibly strained ever since this boyfriend entered her life. I had just turned 18 at the time and my mother and I were living in my grandmother's house. I was still in my senior year of school and also looking for jobs to make some of my own money. My mother was already starting the "you're 18 you don't need me" crap. She was not only using it financially but also to avoid spending any time with me at all. My grandparents both work at theme parks and I would always ask just to have a day to go and have fun. She would always refuse, after her bf came into the picture however...she went with him. She did everything with him that I had begged her to take me to do. I later got hired at Disney which had been my dream since I was little, he made rude comments. He called mickey a "damn corrupt mouse" among many other things he had said to kill my joy at being hired. My mother and I got into a fight over this in front of him because she didn't defend me or anything and she walked out on me for him. fast forward 1 month...she moved in with him and left me at my grandparents and officially cast me off as not her issue. She was never around when I needed to talk and I wouldn't see her unless it was a family function. This guy has taken her from her daughter, puts pictures of his son in the house but none of me. He even makes things up to my family to make me look bad. I can not stand him, my husband can't, nobody in my family can stand this jerk. That is what he is, a selfish insensitive jerk and my mother has done nothing but become his lapdog. I do not want him at my wedding, nor does anybody else. I do however have a real fear that she would miss her own daughter's wedding (ONLY CHILD) if she couldn't bring this assclown.

You do nothing. Because you're married. You're not having a wedding at all. You're playing dress up. Don't waste anyone's time inviting them to watch you play dress up.

JCbride2015 · April 2015

You sound like a child playing dress-up. Yeah, your mom's bf might be a jerk. But you also sound immature and whiny. Are you seriously upset that he insulted Mickey Mouse?

Your mom already missed your wedding. If you want to invite her to see you play dress-up, you must invite both of them.

I'm sorry, let's go back to Mickey for a second. This man insulted a fictional cartoon character and this "killed your joy" at your new job? Really? How old are you? You say you're 18 but I'm having a hard time believing that.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

JCbride2015 said:
You sound like a child playing dress-up. Yeah, your mom's bf might be a jerk. But you also sound immature and whiny. Are you seriously upset that he insulted Mickey Mouse?

Your mom already missed your wedding. If you want to invite her to see you play dress-up, you must invite both of them.

I'm sorry, let's go back to Mickey for a second. This man insulted a fictional cartoon character and this "killed your joy" at your new job? Really? How old are you? You say you're 18 but I'm having a hard time believing that.

Yeah, as a Disney fan this made me roll my eyes. You don't throw a tantrum when someone doesn't like your hobby as much as you do. And it is pretty damn corporate.

I do believe she's 18 though. Some of the 18 year olds I've met...

jenna8984 · April 2015

lolo883 said:
You should definitely push him off a cliff. It's the only reasonable solution.

@lolo883 Do you know how hard it is to laugh when you've just shoved an entire saltine cracker in your mouth? I just found out.

TrixieJess · April 2015

JennyColada said:

lolo883 said:
You should definitely push him off a cliff. It's the only reasonable solution.
Life insurance = new shoes!

Edit: I thought you meant push the DH. Whoops. Lol.

Oh good, I'm not the only one who thought that at first

lyndausvi · April 2015

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

Your options are

A) Be an adult and invite your mom with her SO. Just like you should do for EVERY OTHER GUEST

Do not invite him and deal with the possible fallout.

This really isn't that hard of a question.

anjemon · April 2015

OP, from what you've said here, it really sounds like your mother is the problem. You and she had a troubled relationship before this boyfriend even came into the picture. But if you still want to see her at any events, you have to decide if you can deal with this boyfriend. Because it's not proper to invite her without him.

I think you should work on not letting what he says effect you. Because obviously you two do not get along, and letting the things he says steal your joy will only hurt you in the long run.

redheadbride15 · April 2015

You don't get to choose your family, but once you're a grown-up you DO get to choose how involved they are in your life and what kind of relationship you want to have with them.

So either choose not to hang out with your mother (and her BF) and don't invite them to your vow renewal, because they're clearly making you miserable, -OR- invite them and/or schedule occasional times with them so they will remain in your lives, but learn to tolerate the negativity and general unpleasantness involved in these encounters. Sometimes it can be a tricky balance, but that's life.

redwoodoriginal · April 2015

i cant get over the mickey mouse story. like, what?

onefootinthebayou · April 2015

JCbride2015 said:
You sound like a child playing dress-up. Yeah, your mom's bf might be a jerk. But you also sound immature and whiny. Are you seriously upset that he insulted Mickey Mouse?

Your mom already missed your wedding. If you want to invite her to see you play dress-up, you must invite both of them.

I'm sorry, let's go back to Mickey for a second. This man insulted a fictional cartoon character and this "killed your joy" at your new job? Really? How old are you? You say you're 18 but I'm having a hard time believing that.

Honestly the anguish over dissing Mickey stuck out as more egregious than the PPD! LOL wut.

mikenberger · April 2015

redwoodoriginal said:
i cant get over the mickey mouse story. like, what?

But he totally dissed Mickey. It was her DREAM to work there.

My Mom once poo poo'd that I wanted to be a mermaid. I've hated her ever since.

drunkenwitch · April 2015

Oh stay. Please please stay. Please keep the Sweet Valley High fan fiction posts coming. I could use the entertainment.

littlepep · April 2015

redwoodoriginal said:
i cant get over the mickey mouse story. like, what?

But he totally dissed Mickey. It was her DREAM to work there.

My Mom once poo poo'd that I wanted to be a mermaid. I've hated her ever since.

Well your mom lied because you can totally be a mermaid.

http://www.finfunmermaid.com/

redoryx · April 2015

littlepep said:

redwoodoriginal said:
i cant get over the mickey mouse story. like, what?

But he totally dissed Mickey. It was her DREAM to work there.

My Mom once poo poo'd that I wanted to be a mermaid. I've hated her ever since.

Well your mom lied because you can totally be a mermaid.

http://www.finfunmermaid.com/

Then, after getting your fin, go hang out with the other mermaids at MerFest

http://ncmerfest.com/

FiancB · April 2015

Kinda the whole point of eloping is having a minimal number of people there.

Maybe the mandatory dress code for the PPD will be mermaid fins?

KatieinBkln · April 2015

FiancB · April 2015

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

I think you should start dating him. I mean, you want your mom to notice you and pay attention to you, right? So swoop in and start laying on your game. And if he falls for it and cheats on her, she'll probably break up with him, right? Problem solved.

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

Don't invite your mother or her boyfriend. It's not your wedding anyway. I have no problem with vow renewals when everyone is honest, but it's not really necessary to have it.

amelisha · April 2015

littlepep said:

redwoodoriginal said:
i cant get over the mickey mouse story. like, what?

But he totally dissed Mickey. It was her DREAM to work there.

My Mom once poo poo'd that I wanted to be a mermaid. I've hated her ever since.

Well your mom lied because you can totally be a mermaid.

http://www.finfunmermaid.com/

It's kinda heartwarming that they're letting the one on the end be a merman. I love it.

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