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You Weekendly Awesome Idea: Virtual Shower!

flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
edited April 2015 in Chit Chat
I hope the heavy sarcasm in the title was implied.

My mom is super sad that I probably won't be able to have a shower, given the scattered-ness of our guests, and baffled as to why my attitude about this is, "Oh well, what can you do?" She spoke to my aunt about it, and my aunt suggested a virtual shower! OMG, best idea ever, right??? I can open gifts via Skype or webcam, and my guests can watch my gush over them from hundreds of miles away, and it saves money because we don't have to host them or give them food or thank them in any meaningful way for their time, money, and efforts!

She told my aunt, "I don't think fluttering would like that idea," but when she told it to me, her tone made it clear that she didn't really agree with me.

So I said, "You're right! I don't like that idea!" And changed the subject.

Share the bad ideas suggested by your dear friends and family. You know, the ones that they think of like this...

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But are really more like this...

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Re: You Weekendly Awesome Idea: Virtual Shower!

  • NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    My mom wanted her own bridal shower and bachelorette party. As in, come celebrate me having a daughter get married! She even wanted to register for gifts that she would then give us. I couldn't put the kibosh on that quickly enough. It never happened, but once again I was yelled and sobbed at for crushing her dreams and ruining her joy. 

    Graduating high school with a laundry basket full of scholarship offers? NBD

    Graduating college with honors despite 4 solid years of unhealthy relationships and crippling depression? Meh. 

    Met somebody who thinks I'm alright and we're having a party to celebrate our union? ZOMGWTFBBQGLITTERSPESHULRAINBOWS!!!


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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    NavyBlue143 said:

    My mom wanted her own bridal shower and bachelorette party. As in, come celebrate me having a daughter get married! She even wanted to register for gifts that she would then give us. I couldn't put the kibosh on that quickly enough. It never happened, but once again I was yelled and sobbed at for crushing her dreams and ruining her joy. 


    Graduating high school with a laundry basket full of scholarship offers? NBD

    Graduating college with honors despite 4 solid years of unhealthy relationships and crippling depression? Meh. 

    Met somebody who thinks I'm alright and we're having a party to celebrate our union? ZOMGWTFBBQGLITTERSPESHULRAINBOWS!!!


    Wow. That makes the virtual shower look practically Miss Manners approved. Holy smokes! Good for you for putting the kibosh on that nonsense.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2015
    I've been debating making a post about it, but this thread fits.

    Not my wedding, but my sister is getting married this summer, and it's an etiquette disaster. Of course I can't say much, because she's sensitive but here are some of their blunders:

    They are having a cocktail reception with not enough seating for everyone. I think this is the most egregious, because there are many people that have foot, back, and knee problems. I mentioned that she should have seating for every person, but she dismissed me.

    The have a honeyfund.

    They wrote adult reception on their website and have a dress code.

    They haven't sent out invitations yet, because my mom stopped them and said it was too early.

    My mom is afraid they are not going to have enough food. My other sister and I had all inclusive packages for our weddings, I had stations and my sister had sit down. With a cocktail reception, mom thinks there should be double the amount of food, and apparently the caterer got snippy with her. I guess they know where they're doing, but we'll see. 

    I don't know for sure, but I think there are people on the bachelorette party list (not the shower, at least) that are not invited to the wedding.

    I think a lot of these ideas are my sister's FI, because he's in the wedding industry. He sees all these things at other weddings, and thinks they are a good idea, but they are not etiquette approved. I really thought my sister had a better handle on what was appropriate, but I guess not.

    I've snarked about this to my mom, and she agrees, and she is also paying for the majority of the wedding. My parents are great people, and gave all of us money for our weddings, while letting us make the major decisions, but still giving her opinion.



    ETA: Oh yeah and they are having an "unplugged" ceremony. At least I'm a bridesmaid, so I won't have my camera anyway.  
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    FI's mom wanted to have a shower with her friends that weren't invited to the wedding. I shut that down real quick. Now we're just having a party where her friends can meet me and FSIL (FI's bro's FI).
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  • LakeR2014LakeR2014 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Friend is having a wedding - Yay!   Bachelorette planned for this friend is an all-day get away to a casino/spa resort in which should you wish to attend all events - it'll cost upwards of $300 a piece.   Many of the guests invited to the Bachelorette are NOT invited to the wedding!!!! I'm just shaking my head. :-(
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  • charlieyankee03charlieyankee03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    Why is this a thing??

    Over the weekend FI and I were in DC finalizing wedding details. We were out and about and FI took a picture of the Capitol Building lit up at night with scaffolding and posted it to FB. He said nothing about wedding planning (we've kept radio silence on all things wedding). Yet a relative of his felt it necessary to comment and say something along the lines of "Do you think we could do a Skype shower with gift cards for you? We'll go to [insert fancy local steakhouse in FI's hometown] and Skype as you open the cards."

    First of all, no. Second of all, you want to go to a nice restaurant and Skype with us while we sit on our couch and open presents? I'll pass. We don't need or really want a shower. I told FI if it's that important then we can try to make time to fly out there before the wedding. But these people are coming to the wedding halfway across the country. Save your money and just celebrate the day with us people.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have no idea why people get excited for something like opening cards or doing any kind of shower virtually. 

    My friend told me that after her sister's wedding, her sister's new in-laws wanted to get together and open their cards with them. My friend (and I) were aghast. How is that any of their business what people wrote in wedding cards or how much was gifted in cash/checks if someone chose to do that? What the heck? 
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  • redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I don't know why, but every time I see a post with the word "shower" I think of the kind where you wash yourself instead of the party. Maybe it's because I have never attended a bridal shower (for myself or anyone else for that matter) so it's not part of my normal wedding-related lexicon.

    So I'm sitting here with an image in my head of a "virtual shower" that would allow me to be clean instantly. I'm working from home today and haven't taken a real shower yet so I was like: WOW, wouldn't that be awesome if I could just click a button on my computer and then I wouldn't have to take a real shower! Life would be so much easier...

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    It's minor, in the grand scheme of things, but sMIL had a list of family members an church friends she wanted us to invite to the wedding.  We didn't know any of these people (she married FIL long after DH was grown and out of the house--he'd only seen her a handful of times at that point), and we were footing the bill, so we just told her that unfortunately we couldn't accommodate any more guests. "Oh, don't worry, they won't show up, but this way they can send you presents!" she said.  Uh, no.
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  • twoleighstwoleighs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Our wedding is immediate family only (17 guests) and for our "reception" we reserved a banquet room at Buca di Beppo for dinner after the ceremony (we're paying of course).

    I decided the last thing I wanted to do was try to eat Italian food in my big wedding dress (clicky), so I was going to change into a very pretty, white, lower maintenance dress (clicky). 

    My Mom is so upset.  In a last ditch effort to get me to wear my "special day dress" to the reception, she reminded me the pictures of me cutting the cake would not be in my wedding dress. And then suggested we cut the cake at the ceremony venue before I change.  Because Pictures.  

    Side note: I found the second dress first and if I hadn't found the first dress, the second dress would have been my wedding dress.  

    ::sigh::
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    When I was making invitations for my wedding, last year,, my stepmom wanted me to put adult invitation in the reception. Stepmom was also irritated that my FSIL Didn't put her registry info on her invitation, she just sent out... Because how will guests know what to get them.
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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    themuffinman16 said:

    When I was making invitations for my wedding, last year,, my stepmom wanted me to put adult invitation in the reception. Stepmom was also irritated that my FSIL Didn't put her registry info on her invitation, she just sent out... Because how will guests know what to get them.

    My mom also was concerned that I wasn't including that info on the STD's or invites. When my grandmother got her STD she mentioned to my mom that it was weird to her. My mom replied, "Well, fluttering says that's in poor taste." She sees it as rude not to because you're "anticipating guests' requests."
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  • chloe97chloe97 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    My FMIL is having her own bachelorette party disguised a "party" for me. Or so it seems. Her work friends (none are invited to the wedding) offered to throw me a shower. I politely declined because see above. Then it became a couple's cocktail reception honoring the engaged couple to which my FI said "hell no- none of our friends would go to that." Now it's a ladies night with 20-50+ year old women line dancing at a country bar a few towns over- in my honor?. I finally gave in bc it was so important to her and also my FI works with his mom and many of these ladies can help him get ahead and so I didn't want to majorly piss them off. We are requiring no gifts- just a night of fun and getting to know me? I love my FMIL and so I'm going along with it- but yeah this is really just a party for her.
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