Weight n' thangs

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.

You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Fuck the scale. We have one, but I'm getting weighed pretty regularly at my doctor's office right now, which I'm sure is more accurate than mine.

My measure is always "do my clothes feel tight?" No, not my yoga pants. My jeans. The ones without spandex. That's my benchmark. If my jeans feel tight, then there's a problem.

Right now, I'm hovering around 155 (I'm 5'7"), but I've gained pretty steadily for the pregnancy (I'm almost 20 weeks) without any vomiting or nausea that would have quelled my weight. And I was heavier than I like to be (I like to be about 140) when the pregnancy began... Now I'll have to wait to lose until September.

When I was in college and playing soccer, BMI didn't mean shit to me. I was lifting all the time and admittedly jacked. So the "muscle weighs more than fat" and "BMI doesn't really apply" things actually applied. Now, my muscle mass isn't even close to what it was and I work a sedentary desk job. Although not for everyone, for my body and circumstances, BMI is probably a decently good measure of where I should be.

ashley8918 · April 2015

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.

THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION, DOC.

peachy13 · April 2015

I hate scales and I hate BMI calculations. I started strength training several months ago and my body is getting toned for the first time ever. I can see a difference in the mirror and feel a difference in the way my clothes fit. But the scale sees no difference. I literally have not lost a pound despite the fact that I'm getting more fit. Not worried about it.

And regarding BMI, apparently I'm supposed to be around 110 pounds as a 5'0'' female. LOLOL.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?

Calipers.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?

There are scales that send waves through the body and measure % body fat. My old personal trainer used to have this handheld thing that did the same. You might ask around at your gym to see if one of the personal trainers has one of them.

amelisha · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION, DOC.

Whoa. Are you really still doing that?

Should I just stick to dog toothbrushing and makeup or something? I honestly don't know what in that other thread made you seem to loathe me this much out of nowhere (because I kind of thought we mostly have agreed on stuff in the past) but jeez. I'm sorry I felt attacked and made a snarky comment but the way you keep harping on it is really baffling to me.

Sorry I'm terrible, everyone, Ashley. I'll show myself out, I guess.

doeydo · April 2015

ashley8918 · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?
There are scales that send waves through the body and measure % body fat. My old personal trainer used to have this handheld thing that did the same. You might ask around at your gym to see if one of the personal trainers has one of them.

Yes, my personal trainer (why I had one) had this and it was really cool.

princessofgenovia · April 2015

Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?
There are scales that send waves through the body and measure % body fat. My old personal trainer used to have this handheld thing that did the same. You might ask around at your gym to see if one of the personal trainers has one of them.

If digital scales can't even get your weight right, they'll almost certainly mess up body fat. Directionally they're fine but calipers are more accurate.

ashley8918 · April 2015

amelisha said:

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION, DOC.

Whoa. Are you really still doing that?

Should I just stick to dog toothbrushing and makeup or something? I honestly don't know what in that other thread made you seem to loathe me this much out of nowhere (because I kind of thought we mostly have agreed on stuff in the past) but jeez. I'm sorry I felt attacked and made a snarky comment but the way you keep harping on it is really baffling to me.

Sorry I'm terrble, everyone, Ashley. I'll show myself out, I guess.

If this is "harping", you must feel REALLY bad for SBMini every time someone "attacks" her by making a joke about check cashing places.

ETA And to the bolded:

redoryx · April 2015

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.

Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.

princessofgenovia · April 2015

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.

Exactly my feeling. This is clothing that fits, I'd feel bad about myself, but I just can't get around to beating myself up over numbers on pieces of cloth that I wear so as not get arrested for indecent exposure.

redheadbride15 · April 2015

lolo883 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?
There are scales that send waves through the body and measure % body fat. My old personal trainer used to have this handheld thing that did the same. You might ask around at your gym to see if one of the personal trainers has one of them.
If digital scales can't even get your weight right, they'll almost certainly mess up body fat. Directionally they're fine but calipers are more accurate.

Calipers are actually pretty inaccurate because they only look at whatever part of your body their pinching, rather than the whole thing. And because people store fat in different locations it isn't very helpful. They also cannot measure "visceral fat" which is what is inside your belly and is therefore hidden but is particularly unhealthy. The electronic ones are better because they function based on the fact that fat vs. muscle/bone/water conduct electricity differently, so it gives you an average read for your whole body. A lot of trainers and doctor's offices have them, but you can also get a home one for about the same amount of money that a good scale costs:

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/17668279568812537042?q=body+fat+calculator

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.

Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.

ashley8918 · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.

Vanity sizing is such fucking bullshit.

NowIamMrsKlein · April 2015

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.

My FI had no idea how effed up sizing was for women. He's so used to being able to grab a pair of pants in his measurements and walk out of the store without trying them on. There isn't much shopping where I live so I often wait for weekend trips to the big city to get pants. I had a pair that rubbed through in the thigh (sigh), and we had no plans on going to town, so FI said I should just order a pair online and didn't understand when I said I couldn't. Until I laid out my pants on the bed and showed him that every pair of pant I owned was a different size. Ranging from my average 6-8, to 10-12. And then I showed him some pants come in even numbers. Some come in odd numbers. And then some come in waist sizes (26, 28, etc).

He was floored.

redoryx · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.

It's super annoying, especially when it happens even within the same store or brand. I can wear one size in this article clothing and a completely different one in this other article of clothing. WTF.

princessofgenovia · April 2015

redoryx said:

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.
It's super annoying, especially when it happens even within the same store or brand. I can wear one size in this article clothing and a completely different one in this other article of clothing. WTF.

I bought three pairs of Diva style jeans at old navy. In three different washes. And they had to be THREE DIFFERENT SIZES.

The dark was a 12 because the 10 was too tight. The light wash was an 8 because the 10 was too big. And the medium was were a 10. Like...what the fuck? They were the SAME EXACT JEANS in different washes! Get your shit together Old Navy.

amelisha · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

amelisha said:

ashley8918 said:

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION, DOC.
Whoa. Are you really still doing that?

Should I just stick to dog toothbrushing and makeup or something? I honestly don't know what in that other thread made you seem to loathe me this much out of nowhere (because I kind of thought we mostly have agreed on stuff in the past) but jeez. I'm sorry I felt attacked and made a snarky comment but the way you keep harping on it is really baffling to me.

Sorry I'm terrible, everyone, Ashley. I'll show myself out, I guess.

If this is "harping", you must feel REALLY bad for SBMini every time someone "attacks" her by making a joke about check cashing places.

I do, because it's kind of mean. Which is also what you're being, honestly.I don't think those kinds of "jokes" are especially funny.

But I realize I can't control what other people post, so I don't generally comment. Because this is aimed at me, though, I'm trying to stand up for myself a bit and say that it's hurtful. I don't know if you care, but at least I said it.

Not trying to flounce here; I just...wasn't expecting to have such snark thrown at me on two threads where I wasn't asking for advice but rather just being open about what goes on in my brain.

And I wasn't going to say this, but I saw a therapist regularly for several years, both for my body/food related issues (which used to be much worse) and for anxiety (which began after a traumatic incident when I was seventeen.) I'm a lot better than I was and was able to stop going, and that's a lot of the reason why being told "Hey, you're still a big mess, did you know?" is pretty hurtful. I'm able to deal with this kind of thing on my own now but it doesn't mean I don't still have those thoughts...they no longer interfere with my life the way they used to but they're probably never going to disappear entirely. Maybe it was my bad for admitting I still think stuff like this sometimes without any background, but...there you go.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

redoryx said:

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.
It's super annoying, especially when it happens even within the same store or brand. I can wear one size in this article clothing and a completely different one in this other article of clothing. WTF.

I hate when I recommend an article of clothing to someone and they ask "do they run true to size?" WTF? True to WHOSE sizes? Is there really a TRUE size any of us is anymore to which to compare??

And I was warned at Express once about how the darker the jean, the larger the size should be. I don't remember if it was that the dark dye meant they stretched less, or they shrunk more in the dying process, or... something. IDK. But it's definitely true.

lyndausvi · April 2015

I'm 5'8" and weigh 155. I'm not trilled. Back when I was working on the boat I was 135 and looked and felt much better.

I've started eating and exercising more. I hope to be down to 140-145.

The problem I have with heavier weight at a younger age is you tend to gain weight as you get older. So if you are starting at 200 in your 20's, it's easy to get up to 250 by the time you are in your 40-50's. Then it becomes harder to take it off.

My mom was about 130 in her 20's (she is 5 foot). Now at age 69 she is 230-something. She now has RA. The weight is causing her symptoms to be worse. Her weight makes her asthma worse. I hear the meds make her gain weigh also. She can't walk more than 10 feet without losing her breathe. She is miserable.

I do not have RA, but I also do not want to put myself in her position at age 60. I keep my weight in check. I've never been over 160 and never plan on it. If I gained a pound a year from 20-60 that is 40lbs. Something I have no desire to be at.

DH was hitting close to 300lbs at 6 feet. He felt fine, but his cardiologist surgeon said that if they had to operate on his aneurysm and he was his that weight they might not be able to operate. If they did his recovery would be much longer. That scared DH enough that over the last year he is now down to 240 and way more active. He is hoping to get to 220.

I do not bother with BMI though. I do not think it tells the entire story has far as health goes. I think it's great that people are happy with themselves. But I think people need to be realistic that just because you are happy (and healthy) now doesn't mean in the future your weight will not cause other issues or make symptoms from non-related issues worse.

levioosa · April 2015

That's awesome, Larry. I am not even close to that point right now. I've always struggled with body dysmorphia. I'm 5'1" and at my lightest I weighed 75 pounds (obviously super unhealthy). My usual weight used to be 95-105. I weigh 143 right now and it is awful. I hate everything about the way I look, feel, and the way my clothes fit. I think a good weight would probably be around 115-120 now. I know I would still have some boobs, and it would be a good weight for my joints. I know it's still a number, but I can tell it's where I will look and feel better. And if I feel better, then I can tell myself I'm being crazy when I look into the mirror and judge. But right now I feel like crap. It doesn't help that my mom keeps making comments on how big I am, and how inappropriately huge my boobs are whenever she sees me.

minttobemrsb · April 2015

redheadbride15 said:

lolo883 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

flutteringinfl said:
Hey, while we're on the subject, is there actually a way to figure out how much body fat/muscle weight you actually have? Or at least get an idea?
There are scales that send waves through the body and measure % body fat. My old personal trainer used to have this handheld thing that did the same. You might ask around at your gym to see if one of the personal trainers has one of them.
If digital scales can't even get your weight right, they'll almost certainly mess up body fat. Directionally they're fine but calipers are more accurate.
Calipers are actually pretty inaccurate because they only look at whatever part of your body their pinching, rather than the whole thing. And because people store fat in different locations it isn't very helpful. They also cannot measure "visceral fat" which is what is inside your belly and is therefore hidden but is particularly unhealthy. The electronic ones are better because they function based on the fact that fat vs. muscle/bone/water conduct electricity differently, so it gives you an average read for your whole body. A lot of trainers and doctor's offices have them, but you can also get a home one for about the same amount of money that a good scale costs:

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/17668279568812537042?q=body+fat+calculator

If the person using the calipers is well trained and knows exactly the places to measure, it's actually much more accurate than the handheld electrical devices (unless you have a very expensive one with high sensitivity). The BEST way is by using the underwater method or a BodPod but no normal gyms have those. They're only seen in bigger research places or expensive schools/clinics because they're freakin outrageous!

Either way, the handhelds are easy and non-invasive and you can do it yourself without a gym or personal trainer. And they are accurate enough to get an idea.

Also, after working in retail for years through college, I basically gave up on clothing sizes. I saw way too many women leaving the store upset because of their size when I could clearly look at them and see that they were smaller than the tag said they were. Heck, sometimes two shirts that were identical and had the same size tag would be different measurements. It's ridiculous

lovegood90 · April 2015

princessofgenovia said:

redoryx said:

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.
It's super annoying, especially when it happens even within the same store or brand. I can wear one size in this article clothing and a completely different one in this other article of clothing. WTF.
I bought three pairs of Diva style jeans at old navy. In three different washes. And they had to be THREE DIFFERENT SIZES.

The dark was a 12 because the 10 was too tight. The light wash was an 8 because the 10 was too big. And the medium was were a 10. Like...what the fuck? They were the SAME EXACT JEANS in different washes! Get your shit together Old Navy.

Old Navy is the worst for weird sizing! Whenever I go there I prepare myself to be there for a long time. I'll be trying on dresses in very similar styles and I'll end up fitting in a 2 and an 8. Annoying.

In most clothing stores I have to get at least 2 different sizes to try on of the same thing because I just have no clue anymore.

littlepep · April 2015

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.

This makes me sad too. As someone who use to have an eating disorder, it sounds like you have one. Maybe body dysmorphic disorder. You shouldn't hate yourself at all. I don't like the way I look in some of my clothes right now because I've gained a little weight, but certainly don't hate the way I look.

I am always hot.

littlepep · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

redoryx said:

princessofgenovia said:
Usually I wear a size 10. The other day I was at goodwill and found some cute pants in a size 14. I tried them on (cause they looked like they fit) and they fit and so now I own cute pants that are a size 14.

After I bought them I did go get a beer and burger but only because the goodwill was near a good sports bar. Not because I felt bad about a size 14 fitting.
Clothing sizes are insane for women. I own clothes in size 12 up to 20 and everything fits and is worn on a regular basis. Buy and wear what fits and fuck the number.
Yes... I find this so odd. Vanity sizing is a real thing. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. Just really....confused.

I have so many different sizes in my closet; it makes no sense.

ashley8918 · April 2015

amelisha said:

amelisha said:

ashley8918 said:

lolo883 said:

amelisha said:

cupcait927 said:
@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.
This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?

I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.
You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION, DOC.
Whoa. Are you really still doing that?

Should I just stick to dog toothbrushing and makeup or something? I honestly don't know what in that other thread made you seem to loathe me this much out of nowhere (because I kind of thought we mostly have agreed on stuff in the past) but jeez. I'm sorry I felt attacked and made a snarky comment but the way you keep harping on it is really baffling to me.

Sorry I'm terrible, everyone, Ashley. I'll show myself out, I guess.

If this is "harping", you must feel REALLY bad for SBMini every time someone "attacks" her by making a joke about check cashing places.

I do, because it's kind of mean. Which is also what you're being, honestly.I don't think those kinds of "jokes" are especially funny.

But I realize I can't control what other people post, so I don't generally comment. Because this is aimed at me, though, I'm trying to stand up for myself a bit and say that it's hurtful. I don't know if you care, but at least I said it.

Not trying to flounce here; I just...wasn't expecting to have such snark thrown at me on two threads where I wasn't asking for advice but rather just being open about what goes on in my brain.

And I wasn't going to say this, but I saw a therapist regularly for several years, both for my body/food related issues (which used to be much worse) and for anxiety (which began after a traumatic incident when I was seventeen.) I'm a lot better than I was and was able to stop going, and that's a lot of the reason why being told "Hey, you're still a big mess, did you know?" is pretty hurtful. I'm able to deal with this kind of thing on my own now but it doesn't mean I don't still have those thoughts...they no longer interfere with my life the way they used to but they're probably never going to disappear entirely. Maybe it was my bad for admitting I still think stuff like this sometimes without any background, but...there you go.

But the thing is, NOBODY SAID THIS. AT ALL. But you know that, and that point has been beaten to death.

Furthermore, seeing a shrink in not a bad thing, nor does in mean you are "a mess". It is not a thing to be ashamed about, and that implication is pretty offensive to me. But guess who is not losing her shit about it?

If this is your definition of mean and attacking, you need to acquire some thicker skin.

Just last week or whatever, that chick made essentially an entire post legitimately picking on me (not making a joke). That was pretty actually mean - I laughed. This is life. And the internet.

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