Weight n' thangs

redoryx · April 2015

littlepep said: amelisha said: cupcait927 said:@amelisha I feel the same way about myself - I feel that I only look good if I'm a little underweight because I was that way for so long. Now that I'm at a healthy weight for my height/frame (5'5", smaller frame), all I can see is the round face, the love handles, my chunkier thighs. I can't see myself as healthy and okay because I'm not used to it and it doesn't look okay to me. No matter how many times H tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, I can't see it for myself. I don't ever weigh myself because it just ends up upsetting me. I don't even look at my wedding pictures because to me, I look "too big". It's not healthy and it just ends up making me feel awful either way.

This exactly (and I'm 5'4", so I feel like it's a lot easier to look chunky than for tall women.) I'm currently maintaining about five pounds lower than I normally can (my body doesn't like it much and I am hungry pretty much all the time) because my wedding is next month and I'm terrified of hating all my photos and feeling like all I see is fat arms. I know I probably will hate my photos, regardless. I would love it if a switch would flip and I'd suddenly not hate every bit of extra fat on me, and FI gets a little annoyed with me sometimes because he doesn't understand why HIM thinking I look good is not good enough for me, but it's not, you know?
I'm not and never have been overweight by BMI standards but that fact doesn't make me feel any better about the way the waistband of my pants sits or how chunky my thighs look in a bikini (thanks, skiing!) or my big gross chest. And I can never talk about it with anyone in real life because of that - being considered "thin" means I get zero sympathy from my friends about how much I hate the way I look.

You seriously obsess this much about so many things and you don't think there MIGHT be some benefit to talking to a shrink at all?? You said my poor people foods made you sad well, this makes me sad.

This makes me sad too. As someone who use to have an eating disorder, it sounds like you have one. Maybe body dysmorphic disorder. You shouldn't hate yourself at all. I don't like the way I look in some of my clothes right now because I've gained a little weight, but certainly don't hate the way I look.
I am always hot.

**boxes boxes**

Very important distinction. Certain things I don't currently wear because they are a little snug and not very flattering and when I put them on I hate how I look in them, but I don't hate how I look in general.

Jells2dot0 · April 2015

This time last year, I was 125lbs. Right now, I'm 148lbs. I'm just under 5'4", so the weight is visible on me and, even worse, it's all in my stomach. I blew up like a balloon from the prednisone I was on and prednisone weight typically collects in the belly, face, and back of the neck. So, I just straight up look odd because it's not evenly distributed throughout my body.

Quite honestly, I loathe the way I look right now. It was 1000% not my choice to gain all of this weight. If I hadn't gotten sick, it would have never happened. It's been a struggle to get back into a fitness routine because of my energy levels, but I'm finally getting my stride back. I've been working my ass off and not seeing an ounce of improvement. My body is just too messed up and I need to learn to patient to wait for it to resolve itself. On top of that, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and I don't want to dump a bunch of money into buying larger clothes when I think that I will lose the weight soon. I'm just going to keep trying to work out and be patient. I got approved for counseling (work pays for up to 6 sessions) but I don't see how I have time to get started with that when I'm moving in a month. It will just have to wait until I'm established at my new job.

amelisha · April 2015

@ashley8918, if you don't feel like you've been unnecessarily harsh or that you weren't out of line in the first place, then I'm not going to convince you otherwise. I'm just telling you that I don't like the way you're now behaving towards me, although obviously you are welcome to continue thinking I'm oversensitive and that I'm "losing my shit," as I don't have any control over what other people think and do.

I just...don't see what the point of it is. Is it trying to help me? Is it trying to prove something? Is it because you find humour at others' expense funny? I really don't know, and I hope it's the former, but I also hope you now know that I don't need a push in that direction as I've already been there and I'm now able to deal with stuff that used to crush me.So...thanks, if you had good intentions. I'm good. Just a bit of a baby who felt pretty terrible because all the years I spent trying to fix my brain suddenly looked like they hadn't done any good at all. Most days I'm pretty proud of how I'm doing with that stuff compared to five years ago, so yeah, it sucks hearing "Um, those are some pretty unhealthy thoughts and if I were you I'd get some help." You know what I mean?

lyndausvi · April 2015

Jells2dot0 said:
This time last year, I was 125lbs. Right now, I'm 148lbs. I'm just under 5'4", so the weight is visible on me and, even worse, it's all in my stomach. I blew up like a balloon from the prednisone I was on and prednisone weight typically collects in the belly, face, and back of the neck. So, I just straight up look odd because it's not evenly distributed throughout my body.
Quite honestly, I loathe the way I look right now. It was 1000% not my choice to gain all of this weight. If I hadn't gotten sick, it would have never happened. It's been a struggle to get back into a fitness routine because of my energy levels, but I'm finally getting my stride back. I've been working my ass off and not seeing an ounce of improvement. My body is just too messed up and I need to learn to patient to wait for it to resolve itself. On top of that, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and I don't want to dump a bunch of money into buying larger clothes when I think that I will lose the weight soon. I'm just going to keep trying to work out and be patient. I got approved for counseling (work pays for up to 6 sessions) but I don't see how I have time to get started with that when I'm moving in a month. It will just have to wait until I'm established at my new job.

But I hear you what you are saying.

Jells2dot0 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

Jells2dot0 said:
This time last year, I was 125lbs. Right now, I'm 148lbs. I'm just under 5'4", so the weight is visible on me and, even worse, it's all in my stomach. I blew up like a balloon from the prednisone I was on and prednisone weight typically collects in the belly, face, and back of the neck. So, I just straight up look odd because it's not evenly distributed throughout my body.
Quite honestly, I loathe the way I look right now. It was 1000% not my choice to gain all of this weight. If I hadn't gotten sick, it would have never happened. It's been a struggle to get back into a fitness routine because of my energy levels, but I'm finally getting my stride back. I've been working my ass off and not seeing an ounce of improvement. My body is just too messed up and I need to learn to patient to wait for it to resolve itself. On top of that, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and I don't want to dump a bunch of money into buying larger clothes when I think that I will lose the weight soon. I'm just going to keep trying to work out and be patient. I got approved for counseling (work pays for up to 6 sessions) but I don't see how I have time to get started with that when I'm moving in a month. It will just have to wait until I'm established at my new job.

But I hear you what you are saying.

I agree. And that is why I need to go to counseling. I'm dealing with the "loss" of many things in my life because I got sick, but at the end of the day, I'm not sick right now. That's obviously a HUGE positive thing!!! I need to move past what happened and I'm having a very hard time doing so.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

@Jells2dot0 - that's a super frustrating spot. Especially because it's out of your control.

I feel like I'm in a similar spot (or I was before I got knocked up). But it WAS my fault for not exercising enough and choosing mac over salads. So I'm not shocked, but I feel guilt on top of frustration. My doctor said I'm not supposed to try and lose weight until after delivery (obviously), so I'm just holding out until then.

lyndausvi · April 2015

Jells2dot0 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jells2dot0 said:
This time last year, I was 125lbs. Right now, I'm 148lbs. I'm just under 5'4", so the weight is visible on me and, even worse, it's all in my stomach. I blew up like a balloon from the prednisone I was on and prednisone weight typically collects in the belly, face, and back of the neck. So, I just straight up look odd because it's not evenly distributed throughout my body.
Quite honestly, I loathe the way I look right now. It was 1000% not my choice to gain all of this weight. If I hadn't gotten sick, it would have never happened. It's been a struggle to get back into a fitness routine because of my energy levels, but I'm finally getting my stride back. I've been working my ass off and not seeing an ounce of improvement. My body is just too messed up and I need to learn to patient to wait for it to resolve itself. On top of that, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and I don't want to dump a bunch of money into buying larger clothes when I think that I will lose the weight soon. I'm just going to keep trying to work out and be patient. I got approved for counseling (work pays for up to 6 sessions) but I don't see how I have time to get started with that when I'm moving in a month. It will just have to wait until I'm established at my new job.

But I hear you what you are saying.

I agree. And that is why I need to go to counseling. I'm dealing with the "loss" of many things in my life because I got sick, but at the end of the day, I'm not sick right now. That's obviously a HUGE positive thing!!! I need to move past what happened and I'm having a very hard time doing so.

and the move, and the new job. That is a lot to take on.

ashley8918 · April 2015

amelisha said:
@ashley8918, if you don't feel like you've been unnecessarily harsh or that you weren't out of line in the first place, then I'm not going to convince you otherwise. I'm just telling you that I don't like the way you're now behaving towards me, although obviously you are welcome to continue thinking I'm oversensitive and that I'm "losing my shit," as I don't have any control over what other people think and do.

I just...don't see what the point of it is. Is it trying to help me? Is it trying to prove something? Is it because you find humour at others' expense funny? I really don't know, and I hope it's the former, but I also hope you now know that I don't need a push in that direction as I've already been there and I'm now able to deal with stuff that used to crush me.So...thanks, if you had good intentions. I'm good. Just a bit of a baby who felt pretty terrible because all the years I spent trying to fix my brain suddenly looked like they hadn't done any good at all. Most days I'm pretty proud of how I'm doing with that stuff compared to five years ago, so yeah, it sucks hearing "Um, those are some pretty unhealthy thoughts and if I were you I'd get some help." You know what I mean?

JESUS tits. This is such an overreaction.

Had you been all "I've actually been there, thanks" there would be no joke.

And again, there is nothing fucking wrong with saying that I would see a shrink for obsessive or otherwise unhealthy thoughts. Shrinks are good. Shrinks are great. Everyone should go to therapy.

You can feel free to move on now.

Jells2dot0 · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
@Jells2dot0 - that's a super frustrating spot. Especially because it's out of your control.

I feel like I'm in a similar spot (or I was before I got knocked up). But it WAS my fault for not exercising enough and choosing mac over salads. So I'm not shocked, but I feel guilt on top of frustration. My doctor said I'm not supposed to try and lose weight until after delivery (obviously), so I'm just holding out until then.

I'm a sucker for mac.

I've been eating a somewhat controlled diet of ~1500 calories/day and I box/kickbox 5 times a week. I hope I'm just building a ton of muscle and then the weight will drop. But, I have a feeling I need to just keep waiting my body out.

ashley8918 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

Jells2dot0 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jells2dot0 said:
This time last year, I was 125lbs. Right now, I'm 148lbs. I'm just under 5'4", so the weight is visible on me and, even worse, it's all in my stomach. I blew up like a balloon from the prednisone I was on and prednisone weight typically collects in the belly, face, and back of the neck. So, I just straight up look odd because it's not evenly distributed throughout my body.
Quite honestly, I loathe the way I look right now. It was 1000% not my choice to gain all of this weight. If I hadn't gotten sick, it would have never happened. It's been a struggle to get back into a fitness routine because of my energy levels, but I'm finally getting my stride back. I've been working my ass off and not seeing an ounce of improvement. My body is just too messed up and I need to learn to patient to wait for it to resolve itself. On top of that, I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and I don't want to dump a bunch of money into buying larger clothes when I think that I will lose the weight soon. I'm just going to keep trying to work out and be patient. I got approved for counseling (work pays for up to 6 sessions) but I don't see how I have time to get started with that when I'm moving in a month. It will just have to wait until I'm established at my new job.

But I hear you what you are saying.

I agree. And that is why I need to go to counseling. I'm dealing with the "loss" of many things in my life because I got sick, but at the end of the day, I'm not sick right now. That's obviously a HUGE positive thing!!! I need to move past what happened and I'm having a very hard time doing so.
and the move, and the new job. That is a lot to take on.

Agreed. You have so much going on right now!

chibiyui · April 2015

I put on 20lbs since my wedding last May. I go back and forth between "I look good, and am happy with my body" and "GODDAMMIT I WANT TO LOSE THIS 20LBS." Nearly all of it is in my stomach.

I'm finally starting to exercise on a fairly regular schedule again. I'm trying to watch what I eat at least a little bit. And usually I feel fine. Every now and then though, I feel miserable and the only thing that will make me feel better is a milkshake. Vicious cycle.

lyndausvi · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
@Jells2dot0 - that's a super frustrating spot. Especially because it's out of your control.

I feel like I'm in a similar spot (or I was before I got knocked up). But it WAS my fault for not exercising enough and choosing mac over salads. So I'm not shocked, but I feel guilt on top of frustration. My doctor said I'm not supposed to try and lose weight until after delivery (obviously), so I'm just holding out until then.

My doctors says weight loss is 80% the foods we eat. Specifically the amount of calories.

The doctor wants me to exercise more but not really for weight loss. Although that is a result. Nope he wants me to exercise for balance and to have stronger muscles. Studies show older people are more likely to hurt themselves by losing their balance and falling. Every notice old people shuffling? They do that to keep from falling.

Those who are more active in things like yoga, hiking and stuff into their later years are less likely to get hurt.

Cookie Pusher · April 2015

So I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I'm 4'10". Tiny frame. I regularly weighed in under 95 lbs even with big boobs. I was told I needed to "eat a sandwich" more times than I can count. A lot of stores/brands didn't have sizes small enough to fit me. When stores started carrying 00s, it was the first time I didn't have to get everything taken in. I was around 80 lbs when DH and I first started dating and he said he was always afraid he was going to break me if he hugged me too hard. Since the wedding, I've put on around 10 lbs. I hate that my pants don't fit right anymore, but not because of how I look - it's because I hate, hate, hate trying on clothes. But ya know, I'm pretty fucking hot no matter how much I weigh. I'm healthy and happy... and I finally have a booty to shake!

VulgarGirl · April 2015

I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.

ashley8918 · April 2015

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.

Hey! I eat carrot cake now!

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

amelisha said:
@ashley8918, if you don't feel like you've been unnecessarily harsh or that you weren't out of line in the first place, then I'm not going to convince you otherwise. I'm just telling you that I don't like the way you're now behaving towards me, although obviously you are welcome to continue thinking I'm oversensitive and that I'm "losing my shit," as I don't have any control over what other people think and do.

I just...don't see what the point of it is. Is it trying to help me? Is it trying to prove something? Is it because you find humour at others' expense funny? I really don't know, and I hope it's the former, but I also hope you now know that I don't need a push in that direction as I've already been there and I'm now able to deal with stuff that used to crush me.So...thanks, if you had good intentions. I'm good. Just a bit of a baby who felt pretty terrible because all the years I spent trying to fix my brain suddenly looked like they hadn't done any good at all. Most days I'm pretty proud of how I'm doing with that stuff compared to five years ago, so yeah, it sucks hearing "Um, those are some pretty unhealthy thoughts and if I were you I'd get some help." You know what I mean?

Honestly trying to help here and my original point was, you don't sound like you've actually gotten over anything, from the sounds of the majority of your posts. More often than not, you mention your "giant boobs" or "gross chest" in what seems to me like a really obsessive and self-loathing way. That doesn't sound like you've dealt with your body issues. Being scared/unwilling to sit on a public bench doesn't sound like you've dealt with your mom's cleanliness issues. I mean, this was supposed to be a positive, uplifting thread and you came in here like "OMG totally, I hate myself too." No, that wasn't the point. The point was "fuck whatever the number is," not "physically remove the scale from your possession so you don't lose your mind over half a pound."

And to the second bolded, I don't think these pervasive ways of thinking are anything that can ever be "fixed." Like, alcoholics are alcoholics forever, they're ALWAYS in recovery. There's no such thing as a "former alcoholic." There are just some things that always need attention, work, and the occasional re-tuning once we realize "oh hey maybe I'm not coping quite so well as I thought I was."

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:
@Jells2dot0 - that's a super frustrating spot. Especially because it's out of your control.

I feel like I'm in a similar spot (or I was before I got knocked up). But it WAS my fault for not exercising enough and choosing mac over salads. So I'm not shocked, but I feel guilt on top of frustration. My doctor said I'm not supposed to try and lose weight until after delivery (obviously), so I'm just holding out until then.

My doctors says weight loss is 80% the foods we eat. Specifically the amount of calories.

The doctor wants me to exercise more but not really for weight loss. Although that is a result. Nope he wants me to exercise for balance and to have stronger muscles. Studies show older people are more likely to hurt themselves by losing their balance and falling. Every notice old people shuffling? They do that to keep from falling.

Those who are more active in things like yoga, hiking and stuff into their later years are less likely to get hurt.

Yes. And muscle is super efficient at burning fat. So the more of it you have, the easier it is to burn.

Balance and core strength are what I need to work on. I used to be very solid in this area in college, but I'm way out of it now. Gotta get it back. And you're right - for now and especially for the long term.

sarawifenow · April 2015

Can I just say that, yes I know I need to lose weight, but I totally had a donut for breakfast and that was seriously one delicious goddamn donut!

KatieinBkln · April 2015

Thank you all for sharing in this thread, and to Larry for starting it! It's really just what I needed to hear right now--I strained my shoulder playing sports 2 weeks ago and I am pretty much stuck being unable to exercise at all. I can do squats and lunges, and I can do crunches/ab work on the floor, but I've been in the habit of doing intense body-weight training and barre class and softball and basketball, and now I just...can't do those things. I love doing those things! They make me happy, but they also have the fortunate side effect of keeping me more or less the same size, which is great because I already have too many clothes and shopping for jeans is the Devil's task.

I have been terrified of gaining weight (especially so close to the wedding, in August), and depressed about the idea of cutting back on food to balance things out. (Why does the appetite take longer to adjust than the actual body does? Rude.)

In any case, I realize that ultimately, I am privileged. I generally get to live a life that makes me happy, and my body usually lets me do all sorts of cool shit! And I get to eat awesome things and drink tasty drinks! Right now I have to chill for a hot second and let myself heal. I may very well gain weight (because a life of only salads is no life at all, friends). But ultimately, I am still lucky as hell that I didn't hurt myself worse. Lucky that I was born with a body type that is largely accepted by society. Lucky that I have the time and the means to do things that make me feel great and yes, stay fit (which in my case means thin as well. Not skinny, but thin by most standards in America).

So thank you all for this reminder to be nice to myself, and to be patient while I heal. Yes, it's a little ridiculous that physical therapy exercises exhaust my arm when 3 weeks ago I was working on pull-ups. But that's life. Sizes fluctuate, plans get interrupted, shit gets cray. But I'm still me, my body is still doing a pretty sweet job of housing my organs, and I know I'm worthy of love no matter what, so I'm gonna stop sweating a few potential pounds. XOXO to you all!

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.
Hey! I eat carrot cake now!

...that's not cake, it's salad masquerading as cake.

Going back to lurking this thread now.

VulgarGirl · April 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.
Hey! I eat carrot cake now!
...that's not cake, it's salad masquerading as cake.

Going back to lurking this thread now.

^^What she said.

But the good news is now you eat vegetables. One vegetable. Baked in a cake.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

So I've been thinking about something. Earlier I mentioned I weigh about 127 now. Well all throughout high school I weighed around 120, and if you look at pictures of me back then, I look a bit chunky. But in pictures of me now, I like to think I look less chunky. I started to wonder why that might be, and came up with a bazillion answers. I wasn't known for wearing clothes back then that fit me well or were particularly flattering. I also had terrible posture in comparison to now, which can really affect your appearance. And I was way more sedentary than I am today.

And as bad as my eating habits are now, they were way worse than now. You know those Marie Calendar's chicken pot pies? Yeah, I used to eat them as an after school snack. Not a meal. A snack.

But somehow, I still weigh more than I did in high school. But I look and feel way better. Probably because pot pies are now a sometimes food.

ashley8918 · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
So I've been thinking about something. Earlier I mentioned I weigh about 127 now. Well all throughout high school I weighed around 120, and if you look at pictures of me back then, I look a bit chunky. But in pictures of me now, I like to think I look less chunky. I started to wonder why that might be, and came up with a bazillion answers. I wasn't known for wearing clothes back then that fit me well or were particularly flattering. I also had terrible posture in comparison to now, which can really affect your appearance. And I was way more sedentary than I am today.

And as bad as my eating habits are now, they were way worse than now. You know those Marie Calendar's chicken pot pies? Yeah, I used to eat them as an after school snack. Not a meal. A snack.

But somehow, I still weigh more than I did in high school. But I look and feel way better. Probably because pot pies are now a sometimes food.

Uhhhhhh, is this abnormal? Because, if so, I am NOT normal.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

flutteringinfl said:
So I've been thinking about something. Earlier I mentioned I weigh about 127 now. Well all throughout high school I weighed around 120, and if you look at pictures of me back then, I look a bit chunky. But in pictures of me now, I like to think I look less chunky. I started to wonder why that might be, and came up with a bazillion answers. I wasn't known for wearing clothes back then that fit me well or were particularly flattering. I also had terrible posture in comparison to now, which can really affect your appearance. And I was way more sedentary than I am today.

And as bad as my eating habits are now, they were way worse than now. You know those Marie Calendar's chicken pot pies? Yeah, I used to eat them as an after school snack. Not a meal. A snack.

But somehow, I still weigh more than I did in high school. But I look and feel way better. Probably because pot pies are now a sometimes food.
Uhhhhhh, is this abnormal? Because, if so, I am NOT normal.

I mean, who can say what is truly normal? What is normal? Is normal overrated?

Heffalump · April 2015

larrygaga said:
For the record, at my usual 165-170 I wear a size 10/12. Right now with 15 extra pounds I have a few size 14 pants but my tops still fit. I am considered in the lower overweight BMI range. We all know BMI is shit anyway!

lolo883 said:
And we have about exactly the same body type. I prefer to be around 165, but now that I'm in the low 180s nobody seems to notice (besides the baby bump, but I lost weight in other places during the morning sickness phase so I haven't actually seen an increase on the scale yet, though I will soon).

This is me, too. I just started doing Weight Watchers online for the second time about a week ago. (I used them to lose the baby weight after DD, and now I'm doing the same post-DS.) I am so terrible about making time to work out, but at least with the food tracking, I do a lot less mindless snacking at my desk.

Took DS for his checkup earlier this week, and he refused to stay on the scale. So the nurse had to weigh the two of us together, and then me by myself so she could calculate his weight. Good times.

KatieinBkln · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
So I've been thinking about something. Earlier I mentioned I weigh about 127 now. Well all throughout high school I weighed around 120, and if you look at pictures of me back then, I look a bit chunky. But in pictures of me now, I like to think I look less chunky. I started to wonder why that might be, and came up with a bazillion answers. I wasn't known for wearing clothes back then that fit me well or were particularly flattering. I also had terrible posture in comparison to now, which can really affect your appearance. And I was way more sedentary than I am today.

And as bad as my eating habits are now, they were way worse than now. You know those Marie Calendar's chicken pot pies? Yeah, I used to eat them as an after school snack. Not a meal. A snack.

But somehow, I still weigh more than I did in high school. But I look and feel way better. Probably because pot pies are now a sometimes food.

I look totally different now than I did in high school/early college, and I weigh about the same. I was like you, riding on metabolism alone. Now I have abs underneath my belly fat instead of ONLY belly fat, ha!

Also I tend to think most people gain angularity as they age (especially in the face) and sometimes that reads as being thinner? This is my theory.

JennyColada · April 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.
Hey! I eat carrot cake now!
...that's not cake, it's salad masquerading as cake.

Going back to lurking this thread now.

Carrot cake has so much fucking sugar in it. At least chocolate cake has antioxidants from the chocolate that are slightly beneficial. Carrot cake has 0 redeeming qualities (I don't even think that it tastes good).

As for weight: I hit my heaviest weight ever at 124 the other day and it made me feel like shit. Which is fine, because it spurred me into regularly working out (couch potato right here!). Really I just work out so that I can keep my shitty eating habits the same and maintain my weight. DH feeds me too well.

ashley8918 · April 2015

JennyColada said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.
Hey! I eat carrot cake now!
...that's not cake, it's salad masquerading as cake.

Going back to lurking this thread now.
Carrot cake has so much fucking sugar in it. At least chocolate cake has antioxidants from the chocolate that are slightly beneficial. Carrot cake has 0 redeeming qualities (I don't even think that it tastes good).

As for weight: I hit my heaviest weight ever at 124 the other day and it made me feel like shit. Which is fine, because it spurred me into regularly working out (couch potato right here!). Really I just work out so that I can keep my shitty eating habits the same and maintain my weight. DH feeds me too well.

Chocholate cake tastes like garbage to me. STAHP ATTACKING CARROT CAKE!

plainjane0415 · April 2015

sarawifenow said:
Can I just say that, yes I know I need to lose weight, but I totally had a donut for breakfast and that was seriously one delicious goddamn donut!

Yes you can, and I'll just say that I had a Wendy's burger for lunch with everything and a frosty to wash it down with. And it was delicious.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

JennyColada said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

ashley8918 said:

MagicInk said:
I'll post my weight stuff in a second but first @amelisha therapy is not like going to a dentist where they fill you're tooth and the cavity is gone. Therapy is an on going forever process.

I used to cut myself and use other means to self harm. For the past decade I have been working through this in therapy. The fact of the matter is I will always be a cutter. Now I'm just a cutter in recovery. Just like an alcoholic. You are never cured you are simply in recovery.

I am fucking proud I don't take a razor blade to my body anymore. But the fact is when I get upset I snap rubber bands around my wrist. I pull my hair. I pinch myself. Normal people don't deal with emotions this way. This is not normal. I recognize that. I talk about it with my therapist.

Yes, you are kind of fucked up. Guess what? Most people are. I am. My wife is. @ashley8918 totally is. That girl don't eat cake. Or french toast. Something wrong with her. That's life. You're fucked up welcome to the club.

Now onto my body. It's small. I only weigh 95lbs. But ya know what? It's my body. It's the only one I got so goddamn it I'm gonna love it. I've got small tits, I'm fucking short, I'm skinny as all get out, but still have kind of a big ass, I've got scars, I'm pale, and fuck anyone who doesn't think my body is just fine the way it is

Also. Ladies. I keep seeing something along the lines of "I hate the way I look but my SO still likes me so I must be ok". Stop. That. Yes it's wonderful they think you're beautiful. But fucking hell women LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are not worthy and acceptable because someone else says you are. You are worthy and acceptable because you are worthy and acceptable.
Hey! I eat carrot cake now!
...that's not cake, it's salad masquerading as cake.

Going back to lurking this thread now.
Carrot cake has so much fucking sugar in it. At least chocolate cake has antioxidants from the chocolate that are slightly beneficial. Carrot cake has 0 redeeming qualities (I don't even think that it tastes good).

As for weight: I hit my heaviest weight ever at 124 the other day and it made me feel like shit. Which is fine, because it spurred me into regularly working out (couch potato right here!). Really I just work out so that I can keep my shitty eating habits the same and maintain my weight. DH feeds me too well.
Chocholate cake tastes like garbage to me. STAHP ATTACKING CARROT CAKE!

I love carrot cake. My synagogue had a yearly carrot festival. You can bet no one goes there to eat straight up carrots. CARROT CAKE FOR LYFE.

I was always a weird kid growing up. I never cared for regular cake. Now I like Publix cake but that's about it. I also don't really like ice cream. FI thinks I'm a monster. I really just prefer warm desserts.

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