This is going to be long, and I am honestly not sure whether I will be eviscerated for this for being "controlling," but I do need advice, so here it goes:
I am getting married in less than 12 weeks, so I'm getting ready to send out the invitations at the 8-week mark. I have a very good friend (let's call her K) who lives out of town, but I got to see her recently while traveling. I'd sent her a Save the Date over the summer for her and her then-boyfriend (will call him S) but they broke up since then. Without mentioning it to my friend K, I had taken S's name off the guest list as a result of their breakup. I'd never met S so he wasn't a friend of mine or FI's who we would have invited otherwise.
Well, while we were having dinner the other night, my friend K said to me, "Oh, and you were so nice to invite S; who knows, maybe he'll still come." I was surprised, but didn't say much, because honestly, I was thinking at that time, well, if they got back together or wanted to go as friends, that's totally fine and I'd just add his name to her invitation after all, or put an "and guest" on there, and let her figure that out when it was time.
Thennnn... she proceeded to tell me that he's been doing crystal meth, and that had to do with their breakup. We spent a lot of time talking that night about how to help him, should she tell his family, etc. I recommended she attend Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings herself to learn how to cope with the situation, potentially help herself or him, etc.
First and foremost (and this is totally non-WR), I am worried about my friend potentially being sucked into a potentially violent or volatile situation, especially because she tends to have a savior complex and because she is the only one in his life who knows about his addiction. She is a sweet, selfless (too selfless, sometimes) person, one of the kindest and most giving people I've ever met, but she thinks she can help him on her own (and she hasn't apparently ruled out getting back together with him). What I should do to help her with this is not a question I'm expecting this board to be able to answer; I feel I'm going to need to figure that one out on my own, or go elsewhere for help. (Although if anyone does have advice on that, please share, because I'm all ears).
The obnoxious and self-centered question is this, and I'm sorry, but: Do I still have to include his name on the invitation? What if I put "K + guest"? What if she still brings him? Can I just send an invitation addressed to only "K" if she's expecting "S" to still be invited?
(Please be kind-ish in your responses. I'm not trying to sound rude or self-centered; I just need help navigating this one. Thanks.)