Not Engaged Yet

Thursday? Bueller?

Goooooooood morning!

It's Thursday! It's almost Friday! And it's sunny and beautiful here and I am in a great mood :)

FI and I are officially in our house! I spent the whole weekend packing up my apartment (while he went and had fun in Vegas for his bachelor party...) and he moved all my stuff yesterday. I do not know how I fit so much stuff into my tiny apartment, it was staggering to see the number of boxes I had packed up. I had to go back to the apartment to clean and pull together the stuff that I told him not to move, but I got that all done and I am no longer a downtown-dweller. I was actually sort of sad to leave my apartment; it was tiny and expensive but I lived there for almost 2 years and I will miss downtown for sure. BUT our house would fit like 4 of my apartment and we have a backyard soooo I think it's a great trade! The painters are almost done and FI and his uncle installed all of the laminate over the last few days, so things are looking pretty good.

My only irritation with the move is that I was meticulous about labeling all of the boxes with what was in them and what room they needed to go to, to try and have some idea of where stuff would be for the next few days. I got to the house last night (at like 10:30, after cleaning and finishing packing for like 4 hours) and FI and his guys had just stacked everything up in the kitchen. I was unimpressed to say the least, especially because all I wanted was a shower and I had no idea where the boxes for the bathroom were. Of course FI had stopped at the drug store to pick up body wash for himself...but not for me. I chose not to share the fries from my dinner as a result.

Thursday theme: it's Throwback Thursday! What's your favourite old movie? Any era, as long as you consider it old.

I am a huge fan of Ferris Bueller, the Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, etc. Also When Harry Met Sally, because all of the hilarious hair.

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Re: Thursday? Bueller?

  • @lmcooper86 Yay for being in your house! Good luck unpacking and getting things in their places. I feel like unpacking is a lot more satisfying than packing.
    lmcooper86
  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    @twodimes ooooh i forgot about top gun!! good one!
    [Deleted User]
  • @jenjen047 I've never had a fruit cake in my life lol. That's an interesting closing gift.
  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    @southernpeach89 - yeah it was odd. though it was right around christmastime so maybe she thought it was relevant???

    also agree that unpacking is more fun.....except i feel like i always get like 90% done and there is that one box that i dont know what to do with and i have run out of energy and motivation.....so it just sits there. forever.
    [Deleted User]
  • Congrats @lmcooper86 and @southernpeach89!  We got a picture frame with a bad computer print-out of our house for a closing gift from the bank.  Weird.

    I have lots of favorite old movies, especially musicals.

    So Baxter is fixed, but I just caught him humping Cricket.  Cricket is in heat.  OMG.  So Bax is in his crate and I am freaking out.

    I'm home today to attend an online PMP conference from 10 AM until 8 PM.  Yowzers.

    I am feeling a little better about H's brain scan results today.  We have an appt with his doctor tomorrow to review it and talk about options, what's next, etc.  It's still so scary though.  And my mom's appt with her knee surgeon is today, so I'm waiting to hear about that.

    OK I have a little bit longer till the conference.  I got in my work out but I need to clean up the house and get some laundry started. 
    [Deleted User]lmcooper86
  • @lmcooper86, congratulations on moving in! So exciting!

    @southernpeach89, wow, that is an awesome closing gift! Congrats, lady!

    Today I'm finally to the point where I need to vacuum and clean things around the apartment. So that will happen. And I'm having lunch with a friend at the Cheesecake Factory, so that will be a nice break. Practicing for my next voice lesson. Nothing too thrilling.

    Favorite old movies: Alllllllllllll the old musicals - Sound of Music, Guys and Dolls, My Fair Lady, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Bye Bye Birdie...that list could go on forever. Back to the Future I and III (I never got into II). And My Cousin Vinny (that was the 90's, right?).

    [Deleted User]AlPacinalmcooper86
  • @Twodimes I actually just learned recently that realtors giving closing gifts or housewarming gifts is something that happens. I didn't know about it really until an acquaintance mentioned it to me.
  • Do any of y'all remember when this happened:


    It's about that runaway bride that made up that story that she was kidnapped and taken to Mexico but in reality she actually ran away and tried to lie about. LOL. Apparently it's the 10 year anniversary of it.
    speakeasy14
  • I think my realtor gave me a handshake when I closed...the bank sent me a book of mortgage coupons (not the kind that saves you money, the kind you have to mail in with your payment).

    Quiet day for me today.  I don't teach on T/Th, so I don't make the drive to campus on those days.  My plan is to do the budget for next month and work on finishing the book I'm reading.  I also have a couple of Zumba classes to teach today, and I'm having dinner with my parents tonight.

    As for old movies...I love all 90s chick flicks...She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You.  I also really love Singing in the Rain.
  • @southernpeach89 and @lmcooper86 you must share house pictures once you're all settled in!!!

    I'm jealous of all these gifts everyone got when they closed on their houses.  Our realtor just said congratulations and then sent us a Christmas card. 

    Throwback movies: Breakfast at Tiffany's; The Breakfast Club; Dirty Dancing
    And I guess this is included since it is 10 years old... Mean Girls

    Tonight is water park night. I'm so excited!  They have the temperature set to make it always feel tropical.  So tonight, I will be "on a beach somewhere."  I have to stop by the house after work to take care of the dogs and grab my overnight bag.  


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    AlPacina[Deleted User]lmcooper86
  • AlPacinaAlPacina Portlandia member
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    edited April 2015

    @jenjen047 - The fact that someone listed it makes me feel really bad that I've never seen Father of the Bride.

    @CLoGreenEyes - Have you seen Jersey Boys? The show or the movie? I just saw the movie a couple of nights ago, and it turns out Joe Pesci was best friends with the Four Seasons. Kind of a fun fact. I love My Cousin Vinny!

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    I used to borrow a lot of my grandma's old musicals, so a couple of my favorites by far are The Unsinkable Molly Brown, and The Merry Widow. New-er movies, but still old, I'd have to list A Fish Called Wanda (Kevin Kline is hilarious!) and Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

    ETF: spelling

  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 Toronto member
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    TwoDimes said:

    @lmcooper86 Yay for being in your house! Good luck unpacking and getting things in their places. I feel like unpacking is a lot more satisfying than packing.

    TRUTH. I love unpacking and figuring out where I want to put everything!
    YES! That's what I've been looking forward to! Most of the unpacking will have to wait until after the wedding though, because 1) we have no time right now, and 2) we're going to have all of the shower gifts and any wedding gifts so it just makes sense to wait and unpack and organize everything all together.

    @southernpeach89 - Happy closing day! I hope it all goes smoothly!

    @TwoDimes - I love Minted. All of our stationary came from them and I've been happy with their service for the most part. I'm thinking about ordering some of the artwork that they sell too.

    @jenjen047 - I got to watch part of Father of the Bride a few days ago when I was getting my nails done!

    @CocoBellaF - Oh dogs...oh dear. At least you're at home today and can keep an eye on things?

    I don't know if I've heard of people getting closing gifts from their realtors or banks or anything. We certainly didn't! Although the seller did give us a bottle of their homemade wine which was really cute

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  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    @alpacina dont feel too bad, i havent seen When Harry Met Sally :(
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
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    @TwoDimes lololol I can imagine your FI reacting like Phoebe did on Friends to that movie. Too funny! My FI doesn't like black and white movies, and he thinks the actors talk too fast in old movies too. One day I'll wear him down and make him watch a few with me. 


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  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    @labro - wow your realtor is really workin' it! you better use him/her again when you sell your house!
  • Congrats on all the houses ladies!!

    My favorite throwback movies are Breakfast club and The Outsiders. I could watch The Outsiders all day every day I love that movie and book!

    As for life stuff.. this week has been miserable! I touched on it in the Tuesday thread but I am drowning it seems like.

    We switched payroll software at work and the girl who was supposed to integrate our information did a half-assed job on the whole thing. My phone and email have blown up this whole week with questions and problems. The thing that gets me is that people are saying things like "I know it's not all your fault but..." No actually none of it is my fault!! So I'm trying to fix everything but in the process people are just plain rude about the whole thing. I urged with everything I had to not switch companies but I was shut down. I knew this was going to happen.

    My emotions are still all out of whack. Last night BF and I were fooling around, he was in the shower so I turned on the water to make his water cold and then I went into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain, so he squirted his bottle of body wash at me. I tried to run and instead squished Tessie between my leg and the door. She winced and I lost it. I had a huge breakdown thinking I hurt her or broke a rib or something and could not stop crying. 

    I'm also continuously talking myself off the edge about getting engaged. There is a local country club that I saw online that would be within budget and BF and I talked about it. I am mentally freaking out that the longer BF waits to propose the less likely we will be able to book this place. I haven't even seen it IRL, he has (he delivers beer and this happens to be one of his stops). I have tried distractions but lately I don't even have the energy to do any of them. Somethings gotta give before I completely loose my mind. I am trying to hard to enjoy the moment and just be happy that I have a BF who loves me and wants to marry me, but I'm kind of failing at it. 

    I could use some happiness any time now...
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  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 Toronto member
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    @eilis1228 - Ugh, I'm sorry your Tuesday was so stressful! That's awful :( I am not even thinking about Christmas, but It's a Wonderful Life and the Muppet Christmas Carol are mandatory viewing in my family!

    @caseface5 - I'm sorry you're having a rough while :( Have you and your BF talked about timeline recently? I've missed a bunch of days on here lately, so I'm not sure. Is Tessie all good this morning? Maybe if it's nice enough a long walk or going to the dog park with her would be a good (short) distraction?

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  • I have to add The Princess Bride to my list.
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    AlPacinaeilis1228
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
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    @caseface5 Girl, you are me this time last year. I remember feeling like I was going crazy because it was so hard to wait for the ring. I even remember freaking out about not being able to lock in good rates at a venue we both fell in love with. It's so hard, especially because you know you're being BSC but you just can't handle the wait anymore. *hugs* The only advice I can give is to stop looking at venues, budgets, wedding websites, and anything wedding-related online. Even NEY can make it worse. Try and make more plans with friends, get out of the house more, and basically do anything you can to get your mind off of it. You basically need to bean dip yourself. I know it's tough, but you have to make a clean break from anything and everything wedding related and try to keep yourself so busy that you don't have time to think about it.


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  • @Imcooper86 He has the ring and our last timeline conversation happened about 2 weeks ago. He told me that he will be proposing within the next few weeks and we are going to try to get married next year depending on date availability.

    @Eilis1228 I'm trying but I have a really hard time getting out of my own head. I honestly think that the emotional rollercoaster that I am already on is making things 100x worse. I'm not good at the distraction thing. I don't have many friends so going out with friends isn't something I could do and I am flat broke so I can't afford really anything. I would love to start taking Tessie out on walks now that the weather is getting better but my parents are away and we are dog-sitting their dog and they do not walk well together so I can't take both. 
    friends tv show funy
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
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    edited April 2015
    @caseface5 I totally understand that, but you also have to acknowledge that talking about it, researching venues, thinking about your budget, and even posting on forums like this is only going to make it worse. I drove myself completely crazy last year waiting for the ring, and I 100% regret it. Research a new hobby, find local free events you guys can go to, etc. Rearrange the furniture in your house, learn how to knit/crochet/sew, throw yourself into a new fitness plan, try to knock something off your bucket list... basically whatever you can to distract yourself. 

    @TwoDimes That's hilarious! I'm glad you finally made him watch it all the way through. It's such a great movie!

    @lmcooper86 It was definitely a stressful evening, especially after being at a funeral earlier that day, but it's all better now. :) I hope unpacking is a quick, painless process! I'm so glad you guys are finally in the new house :)

    @speakeasy14 THE PRINCESS BRIDE! I forgot to include it too! The movie and the book are both on my favorite list. Such a sweet story. lol I remember reading the prologue to the book, and the author told a very convincing story about how it was based on a real story and these were real places. I totally bought it. FI laughed so hard when I realized the author had trolled me. hahaha




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  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    edited April 2015
    sorry in advance for the long reply....

    @caseface5 - i feel the EXACT same way. i feel like all the venues will be booked by the time we get engaged, which is absolutely ridiculous. i dont have a "dream" venue and really dont even care what state we get married in, as long as its somewhere in new england.....so literally there are probably thousands of venues we will be able to choose from no matter what our budget and guest count end up being. so obviously there is no way they would ALL be booked. even if i was planning to have a 2 month engagement, im sure i could find some place very lovely to get married. but its hard not to have that feeling that "omg its all being snapped us while i sit here and there is nothing i can do it about it!". but thats the truth...there isnt anything you can do about it except have a rational timeline conversation with your BF (which it sounds like you have done).
    i literally struggle with this all the time. i had to make a pact with BF that neither of us would bring it up anymore (he loves to tease/taunt me and i love to make sarcastic jokes about making HIM wait for things HE wants (aka sex)) because it was making me fixate on it. its still hard when we watch shows like Newlyweds on Bravo (yes, BF is just as hooked as i am.... i love him for that) because it makes me want to be like WHEN WILL THAT BE US!? but then i just tell myself that it IS coming so there is no need to obsess.
    i will admit that internally i feel like what the hell is the hold up in getting engaged when we both want it and are ready for it now?? we could be engaged and planning! but BF says there is a specific day that is important to him to do it on, and i dont want to take that moment away from him just because i am impatient.
    but as much as i try to fight myself and calm myself down....i fully confess that i think of this summer in terms of getting engaged, since BF has assured me that it will happen by august. so when i made a hair appt for june or when we bought tickets for a concet in late july i couldnt help but think "i wonder if we will be engaged by then?".

    sorry for my rambling....but i guess my point is that you are not alone in feeling this way. the best way to combat it is with an honest timeline convo with BF (if you havent already), and then distracting yourself as best as you can until that moment comes. i agree with @eilis1228 to stop looking at any and everything wedding related as it will just stress you out and theres no point being stressed about a wedding that you arent even planning yet! i think you will still think about it probably on a daily basis, which is normal because its something you are really excited about and looking forward to. but it shouldnt impact your life or make you stressed or make you lash out at BF. as long as your obsessing is kept to day dreaming in your head, i think youre just fine!

    ETA: i just read your reply above....if youre just looking for some short term distractions maybe binge watch a new show on netflix? or start a new book series? personally i channel some of my BSC energy into looking at houses online. we are not looking to buy for 18 months or so....but it gives me something to do and i figure its still good knowledge to have in my head when the time comes for us to buy, in terms of what towns have more for our budget, which towns have good schools, etc.

  • @caseface5 so it sounds like we need to occupy your mind with something else.  I get really into crime solving/mystery shows/books/games.  A&E has a crime solving game based off the show 48 hours. Basically you are the detective and you have 48 hours to catch the killer.  Here's the link: A&E Investigation Game
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  • jenjen047jenjen047 Boston member
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    edited April 2015
    guys i added a signature and i CANT HANDLE THE CUTE. i just stare at it......

    also i changed my avatar! woo! im like a real person today.
  • Congrats on the houses ladies!

    My TBT movies would be Top Gun, Dirty Dancing

    I've been trying to keep myself from being BSC and I have done pretty good. Been doing some decorating at painting around the house and that has really helped. Also started agility training with my dog.

    One thing that I think gives me anxiety is the thought of once BF proposes then the dress search begins. Knowing that you need to order about 6 months before the wedding. I'm worried that I won't like the way the dresses fit and I will have to order before I'm at comfortable weight.  I could really stand to lose about 20 lbs but 30 would be much better.

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