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Lying to vendors? (Inspired by Weddit)

charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
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in Chit Chat
Just saw a Weddit post about lying to vendors about the type of event you're having to get a better rate (http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/351lac/what_happens_if_we_lie/). I guess the basic idea is that wedding products and services are overpriced, so you might get a better deal telling the DJ you're hiring him for a birthday party.

Have you lied to a vendor about what type of event you're having to get a better deal? Any stories about this going wrong? 

I feel like it has the potential to be a total trainwreck - particularly the weddit commentor who heard of a photographer up and leaving when they realized they'd been lied to. One commenter also astutely pointed out that to may work better for goods than it would for services, but I still don't think I'd have the guts to do it.

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Re: Lying to vendors? (Inspired by Weddit)

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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    Yeahhhh, no.

    Searching for a "white dress" instead of a "wedding dress" is one thing, but telling a vendor that they will be servicing a completely different type of event? Hell no. I would walk out too.
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    redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
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    I was tempted to do this with one hair stylist I was considering who was charging $100 for a "bridal up-do" but only $65 for a "formal up-do" and from reading the fine print the services were identical. It would have been pretty easy to pull off because it was just me getting my hair done. In the end I went with another stylist though, and her pricing was more consistent.

    Doing it for a major vendor like a photographer or caterer, though... that just sounds like playing with fire to me.
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    ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
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    It just seems wrong. I mean I know that people want to save money but it's a dangerous road to tread. I don't like lying and I would most definitely not be able to enjoy whatever event I am hosting because I did. If I'm desperate enough I'll search somewhere else for a cheaper vendor but I won't resort to that.
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    littlepeplittlepep member
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    Yeah that's not ok to lie about that. Non-wedding stuff is fine for a dress or STDs, but you can't lie to the photographer. And you know, they will find out when they show up. 
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    louxnoellelouxnoelle member
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    Lying makes me wicked anxious, so I'd rather pay the "extra money" than deal with the stress of keeping up the ruse, haha.

    I could maybeee understand lying by omission, like just not mentioning that the updo or the 200 cupcakes are for a wedding? But to say "It's a birthday party!" and set yourself up to be caught in the lie when the florist/photographer/DJ arrives is odd. And stressful. And rude.

    I've always been told (and choose to believe, perhaps naively), that the reason prices are jacked up for wedding-related goods and services is because there's a bit more pressure, and the vendors put extra effort into making sure things are exactly right. I don't mind paying the mark-ups.
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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    Oh I would never do something like that. It just feels wrong and I am a horrible liar anyway. I would definitey get caught somehow.

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    charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
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    littlepep said:

    Yeah that's not ok to lie about that. Non-wedding stuff is fine for a dress or STDs, but you can't lie to the photographer. And you know, they will find out when they show up. 


    That was my whole thing when I first saw the question. The more expensive vendors (caterers, DJs, photographers, etc.) would OBVIOUSLY know. How would you even pull that off? I wasn't surprised to hear about the time the photographer walked away.

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    peachy13peachy13 member
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    Four different people told me to lie to vendors when booking vendors for my wedding. And all four of those people are cheapasses in all aspects of life. I'm really convinced too that the whole idea that vendors will charge more just because the word "wedding" is mentioned is a myth. Plus I want my vendor to know something is for my wedding and chances are the vendor wants to truly know what kind of event it is too.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I think it could be interesting from the quoting phase but I also think that you run the (very serious) risk with bait and switch like that.

    However I would almost be tempted to see a venue twice or send mom in to plan an anniversary party and then have a B&G go in to do the same thing.

    I'd then call foul if the anniversary party is $25/head less than a wedding for the identical set up.


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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    No, we did not lie.

    Our venues had set event prices.  At least on their printed material they had the same pricing regardless of the event.  Now that doesn't mean a large conference could not negotiate the price down.  But they did not have specific wedding prices and non-wedding prices.

    The only reason I think a bridal-up-do costs more is at least in my own experience I think some stylist take more time on brides then your standard up-do.   More time =/= more money.  Not always the case, but I've seen stylist spend more time then they do on other updos.   They try not to be rushed finishing up for the next client.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    littlepeplittlepep member
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    MagicInk said:

    Flat out lying  to a vendor that will be at your wedding? No. I mean, they're going to figure it out. Pretty quickly.


    But for anyone not there, meh. Slapping "wedding" on shit doubles the price for reasons that don't make complete sense. When we bought some of the decor we used I didn't specify it was for a wedding. Just an event. Cause I mean, table cloths are table cloths regardless of what you do with them. I didn't flat out lie "Oh these are for my kid's 5th birthday", just "I'm having an event and will need X number of table cloths" that's not a lie. A wedding is an event. They didn't ask what kind of event I was having.

    I'm also all about questioning price discrepancies between wedding vs. event for vendors. One of the DJs we talked to (and didn't go with) charged $50/hr for all events, expect weddings he charged $100/hr. Ok, why double the rate when you'll be do essentially the same thing? So I asked, I'm not a DJ maybe I'm missing something. He told me "Well brides can be kind of crazy and needy, so I deserve more for dealing them". Oh, ok, we'll be going with someone who doesn't generalize all brides and all women I'm assuming as "crazy". 
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    Gross. How is that a good marketing tactic? "I charge more because I think you'll be crazy." 
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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    littlepep said:

    MagicInk said:

    Flat out lying  to a vendor that will be at your wedding? No. I mean, they're going to figure it out. Pretty quickly.


    But for anyone not there, meh. Slapping "wedding" on shit doubles the price for reasons that don't make complete sense. When we bought some of the decor we used I didn't specify it was for a wedding. Just an event. Cause I mean, table cloths are table cloths regardless of what you do with them. I didn't flat out lie "Oh these are for my kid's 5th birthday", just "I'm having an event and will need X number of table cloths" that's not a lie. A wedding is an event. They didn't ask what kind of event I was having.

    I'm also all about questioning price discrepancies between wedding vs. event for vendors. One of the DJs we talked to (and didn't go with) charged $50/hr for all events, expect weddings he charged $100/hr. Ok, why double the rate when you'll be do essentially the same thing? So I asked, I'm not a DJ maybe I'm missing something. He told me "Well brides can be kind of crazy and needy, so I deserve more for dealing them". Oh, ok, we'll be going with someone who doesn't generalize all brides and all women I'm assuming as "crazy". 
    image

    Gross. How is that a good marketing tactic? "I charge more because I think you'll be crazy." 
    Right? I don't think anyone else had ever asked him why he doubled his prices for weddings. And I'm like "Uh, you realize I'm a bride...right?" I mean I am crazy but fun crazy. Not rip your eyeballs out and stuff them down your throat because the lighting was ever so slightly off crazy. 
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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    The caterers that we are looking into have "Wedding Menus". However, they are willing to work with anything on their menu to build around your budget. When I spoke to them, they said that most people just like choosing from the already built options rather than building from bottom up, and they picked the ones that suited Weddings the best to put on their website. 

    Sometimes all you have to do is talk to the vendor and see what you can do. Lying to them may have the opposite effect.
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    charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
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    TrixieJess said:

    The caterers that we are looking into have "Wedding Menus". However, they are willing to work with anything on their menu to build around your budget. When I spoke to them, they said that most people just like choosing from the already built options rather than building from bottom up, and they picked the ones that suited Weddings the best to put on their website. 


    Sometimes all you have to do is talk to the vendor and see what you can do. Lying to them may have the opposite effect.

    All of our caterer's suggested "wedding menus" involve a cash bar of some sort. Barf.

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    littlepeplittlepep member
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    MagicInk said:

    littlepep said:

    MagicInk said:

    Flat out lying  to a vendor that will be at your wedding? No. I mean, they're going to figure it out. Pretty quickly.


    But for anyone not there, meh. Slapping "wedding" on shit doubles the price for reasons that don't make complete sense. When we bought some of the decor we used I didn't specify it was for a wedding. Just an event. Cause I mean, table cloths are table cloths regardless of what you do with them. I didn't flat out lie "Oh these are for my kid's 5th birthday", just "I'm having an event and will need X number of table cloths" that's not a lie. A wedding is an event. They didn't ask what kind of event I was having.

    I'm also all about questioning price discrepancies between wedding vs. event for vendors. One of the DJs we talked to (and didn't go with) charged $50/hr for all events, expect weddings he charged $100/hr. Ok, why double the rate when you'll be do essentially the same thing? So I asked, I'm not a DJ maybe I'm missing something. He told me "Well brides can be kind of crazy and needy, so I deserve more for dealing them". Oh, ok, we'll be going with someone who doesn't generalize all brides and all women I'm assuming as "crazy". 
    image

    Gross. How is that a good marketing tactic? "I charge more because I think you'll be crazy." 
    Right? I don't think anyone else had ever asked him why he doubled his prices for weddings. And I'm like "Uh, you realize I'm a bride...right?" I mean I am crazy but fun crazy. Not rip your eyeballs out and stuff them down your throat because the lighting was ever so slightly off crazy. 
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    I did a short stint as a planner in St John.    Brides by far were the worse clients to deal with.   It was clear I would never be a wedding planner.   

      I would have a 300 person 4-day event. That  included 3 meals, dine-a-rounds and multiple activities that were way easier to plan than a 20 person DW.   The amount of time dedicated to weddings far out weighed another events.  Hence the need for some to feel they need to charge more.  I've seen some planners say you get "x" amount of time planning and everything above that is charged by the hour.

     

    But yeah, it's not a good idea to tell a bride to their face you are charging more because other bitches be crazy.  In my own experience weddings were way more time consuming then other events.   Time = money.

    Not all brides are high maintenance . I had a few awesome ones.  Sadly, overall the wedding planning part of event planning made me cry.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charcoalandblush said:

    TrixieJess said:

    The caterers that we are looking into have "Wedding Menus". However, they are willing to work with anything on their menu to build around your budget. When I spoke to them, they said that most people just like choosing from the already built options rather than building from bottom up, and they picked the ones that suited Weddings the best to put on their website. 


    Sometimes all you have to do is talk to the vendor and see what you can do. Lying to them may have the opposite effect.

    All of our caterer's suggested "wedding menus" involve a cash bar of some sort. Barf.
    Cash bars aren't customary around here. I have only found one place that offers/allows them. We have very strict liquor laws in Ontario and Cash Bars are a PITA. They are super expensive, more expensive than an open bar.
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    tpwkalyntpwkalyn member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    Yeah, no, I am not a good liar, and I don't see lying to vendors (like PPs have said, caterers, photographers, etc) going over very well. 

    I was a bit frustrated when I found out that a lady that I work with got the same venue as me for the same amount of time, same amount of tables/chairs, for an anniversary party and was charged HALF of what I'm being charged for the same exact thing, it's just a wedding instead of an anniversary party.
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    lnixon8lnixon8 member
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    I guess I'm in the minority. I "omitted" telling an oyster shucker that it's a wedding. But any of the big vendors- rentals, dresses, food, photo/video, dj, etc: no way. 


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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    MagicInk said:

    lyndausvi said:

    I did a short stint as a planner in St John.    Brides by far were the worse clients to deal with.   It was clear I would never be a wedding planner.   


      I would have a 300 person 4-day event. That  included 3 meals, dine-a-rounds and multiple activities that were way easier to plan than a 20 person DW.   The amount of time dedicated to weddings far out weighed another events.  Hence the need for some to feel they need to charge more.  I've seen some planners say you get "x" amount of time planning and everything above that is charged by the hour.

     

    But yeah, it's not a good idea to tell a bride to their face you are charging more because other bitches be crazy.  In my own experience weddings were way more time consuming then other events.   Time = money.

    Not all brides are high maintenance . I had a few awesome ones.  Sadly, overall the wedding planning part of event planning made me cry.
    When I worked in a hotel our brides always seemed to be nuts. And if not them someone in the wedding was straight up cray cray and was going to take any anger they ever had in life out on the hotel staff. 

    One day our power went out while this bride was getting ready for her wedding. Now it sucks the power went out, big time. But it wasn't like we didn't pay the light bill. There was a storm outside it went out for everyone, like several city blocks wide. And the front desk was slightly more concerned with the safety of our handicapped guests and families with small kids then we were worried about bride who was mid blow out when the power went out. 

    Bride lost her fucking mind. She just started screaming at me, like just screams, there were no words. And she said we did it on purpose to ruin her day because we were jealous of her. We were all jealous of her. I threatened to call the cops if she didn't calm down and walk away. She was dragged away by some guy in a suit (her dad maybe?) and the MOB walks up points a finger in my face and goes "Fix this. Fix this right the fuck now", I told her I'd call the national weather service and tell them to stop the storm. 

    Weddings make perfectly sane people go a little batty at times. Like if anything goes wrong they cannot deal. I had a girl in tears one time because her cell phone died. She had a charger in her room but this was just like the worst thing ever to happen. She came up the next day with donuts and apologized for being "a little crazy" the day before. I liked her. 
    Wedding or not, this is a horribly inappropriate way to act!
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    classicalandedgyclassicalandedgy member
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    I had a destination wedding for my first marriage.  When we got back we had a celebration party for about 80ppl.  When I was shopping around the venues kept trying to give me wedding rates.  I kept telling them, this is not a wedding I will be already married.  There is no wedding related events taking place it's a party with a DJ, that's it.  Finally, one place got the idea and I was able to get regular event pricing, it was half the price! 

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    labrolabro member
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    I dunno. Every single vendor I dealt with was clear and upfront with all of their pricing - both in person and on their website, so I never felt like I was paying "more" for a wedding. I knew going in what the cost would be regardless of my event.

    The one and only time I encountered a deliberate wedding upcharge was when we considered hiring live entertainment for our RD. A neighbor had hosted a graduation party for their kid and had this awesome singer/guitarist there. I asked my neighbor for his contact info and how much he charged ($350 for 3 hours). A few days later I called the guy, told him who I was, that I was hiring for my rehearsal dinner and magically his price became $500 for the exact same service and period of time. I never called him back or arranged further meetings. Basically, I don't think vendors who jack up their prices because of MY event are worth my time.



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    redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
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    Liatris2010 said:

    I asked vendors why the prices differed for wedding and non-wedding related things, and went with vendors who had satisfactory answers. My venue had higher prices for weddings, but they also hired people to put out my centerpieces and decor, provided a day of coordinator, and other "extras" that were not provided for holiday and anniversary parties. So it was more expensive because they were doing more things. Perfectly reasonable. If you ask why a wedding updo is twice as much as a formal updo and the answer is "because it comes with a hair trial included" I think it would make sense. If the answer is "we can get away with is because brides will pay anything for their most special perfect day," I would go elsewhere.

    This makes a lot of sense to me. When I asked the aforementioned hair stylist from my PP why the "bridal up-do" was $35 more expensive than the "formal up-do" they said it was because "the stylist puts an extra amount of care and effort into a bridal style" or something like that. The available stylists and the time allotted for both styles were identical. In the end I found this sort of off-putting because if I were a client who wanted a nice hair style for another formal occasion then I wouldn't want the stylist to be on her B-game because she only works her A-game for brides. In the end I went with someone else.
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    lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    I would never do this to someone like a venue coordinator, photographer, DJ, etc. But for things like hair/makeup, flowers- things that the person would literally just be providing the product (ie putting makeup on my face or me buying flowers from them), I wouldn't personally have a problem with it.

    If it requires the vendor to actually come to the event, then no (ie if the hair/makeup person is coming to the "bridal suite" or whatever, or if the flowers are being delivered). But if I'm going to a salon I don't see why I have to be specific about why I'm there, and same if I'm going to pick up flowers from somewhere.

    Formerly martha1818

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    loveislouderloveislouder member
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    I've definitely read that story about the photographer that was hired for head shots and showed up to a full wedding party. I think it's crazy to lie to your vendors that are showing up to deliver stuff.
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2015
    I sort of lied...I told the dry cleaners that my dress was not a wedding dress. It wasn't, it was a prom dress and didn't have a train. They wanted me to pay for wedding dress cleaning, just bc it was white, and I only wanted it dry cleaned like a regular prom dress. So I lied and said it was my daughter's prom dress. I wasn't paying an extra $85 bc of the color of the dress!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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