My HTB and I originally planned for a wedding at the end of this year. We booked the venue and all the vendors. We did NOT send out STDs, but we did have a wedding website (which we have now taken down) that had information regarding the venue/date on it. Family and friends were also aware from casual discussions and word of mouth.
Now I find out we are expecting and due mere weeks after the planned wedding. We are happy about the new addition, we just thought we would wait a year after the wedding (we were careful, my BC failed when I was sick). We have to move into a house (also, something we planned on doing a year in), as our current place is barely big enough for us AND includes roommates. Due to the move and the cost of a baby we can no longer afford the wedding we planned. We cancelled the venue and lost most of our deposits, but it's a drop in the bucket in the long run. HTB wants to be married prior to the arrival of the baby and we are fine doing something just us, or including only our siblings and parents. But if we do that, that's all I want. Everyone keeps saying we can do something later on down the road but I don't want to be anywhere near PPD territory, and I hate being the center of attention anyway.
My problem is that I don't want to hurt any feelings of friends/family that won't be there that assumed they would be. Obviously, after we move and settle in and the baby is born, we are planning on having everyone over to see the house/baby/celebrate all that we were blessed with this year. It wouldn't be a wedding/housewarming/baby shower... it would be a celebration and a thank you to everyone for supporting us and being in our lives. Would people still be hurt/offended?
Also, my HTB's side of the family planned a lovely shower that included most of their family/friends and a handful of my family/friends (that they knew of). The shower was beautiful and I was touched that they planned that for me - it's my understanding they are all aware of the situation and the intent to make the wedding a more intimate affair. How do I handle this now that it's after the fact? Obviously, if it had been prior I would have respectfully asked them to revise it from a 'shower' to a 'celebration' with no gifts, but as it stands, gifts were given. Does it sound ungrateful to offer the gifts back? I'm trying to be as polite as possible given the circumstances and how badly I feel about excluding loved ones from the wedding. How can I phrase an announcement as to our intentions? Combine it with a baby announcement? Give everyone a STD time frame for a celebratory BBQ rather than wedding?
If we had the ability to save the money we need to move, host a wedding, and purchase supplies for the baby we would, but fact of the matter is, only two of those things can realistically happen and I don't want to have a tacky 'fake wedding' down the road.