No Rehearsal Dinner?

swagandmoxie · May 2015

Is it okay to have a rehearsal but no formal rehearsal dinner?

RezIpsa · May 2015

No. A rehearsal meal (doesn't have to be dinner but usually is because of when rehersals get scheduled) is to thank everyone involved in the rehersal for taking the time to come. You really do need to say thank you for that.

You don't have to have a rehearsal (many weddings really don't need them), but if you do you need to thank the participants appropriately.

flantastic · May 2015

kevandkath said:
Is it okay to have a rehearsal but no formal rehearsal dinner?

No. If you're going to ask people to take the time to rehearse, you need to thank them and their significant others with dinner. In that sense, it is a "formal" rehearsal dinner. However, it absolutely does not have to be "formal" in the sense of a fancy sit-down at a major venue. It can be pizza and beer at your place. You just need to thank them with dinner, whatever you can host.

swagandmoxie · May 2015

Thank you. We've just found out we could arrange a rehearsal and have not planned a formal dinner. I will make sure we supply food and drinks and thank those able to make it.

Jen4948 · May 2015

While there is no need for a formal meal after your rehearsal, having nothing at all is not okay.

BTW, SOs of wedding party members must be included, as must any children in the wedding party as well as their parents or designated and approved chaperones.

swagandmoxie · May 2015

Thank you.... yes we invited everyone including their SOs. We also extended the invite to our DJ and his wife and our photograpger since , even though they are paid vendors, they are also family... and I made sure they knew I was inviting them as a chance to see the venue... not for additional music or photos.The place is a Rustic barn/pavilion type building.
One other question. .. how do you feel about including the SOs at the head table? My daughter and grandson are both in the wedding party... the best man's son is our ring bearer. I thought it might be nice to include their SOs. Since there are only 8 members in the WP, to invlude them at the head table along with our officiant and his wife will total 16 at the head table. The photographer will be at her family's table and the DJ will also have a seat at the table with his wife. Does this sound proper?

RezIpsa · May 2015

Seating the bridal party and their SOs at the head table is fine. You can also check out king's tables. I prefer them to head tables because the layout is more natural and comfortable. But that's a personal preference.

flantastic · May 2015

kevandkath said:
Thank you.... yes we invited everyone including their SOs. We also extended the invite to our DJ and his wife and our photograpger since , even though they are paid vendors, they are also family... and I made sure they knew I was inviting them as a chance to see the venue... not for additional music or photos.The place is a Rustic barn/pavilion type building.
One other question. .. how do you feel about including the SOs at the head table? My daughter and grandson are both in the wedding party... the best man's son is our ring bearer. I thought it might be nice to include their SOs. Since there are only 8 members in the WP, to invlude them at the head table along with our officiant and his wife will total 16 at the head table. The photographer will be at her family's table and the DJ will also have a seat at the table with his wife. Does this sound proper?

You should always seat the bridal party with their SOs - it sucks for both of them otherwise. It's totally fine if you want to do that at a head table, or at regular tables.

For us, it was going to get unwieldy with everyone and their SOs at a head table or king's table, just because with 120 people showing up and 20+ at the head table, it seemed strange to me to have a sixth of the guests sort of "set apart." I also didn't want to be on display at a sweetheart table, so we ended up just seating everyone (including ourselves) at regular round tables - we sat with our siblings and their SOs, and our friends in WP got to sit with their other friends not in the WP, which they loved since they hadn't had much time to see those people yet that day.

MyNameIsNot · May 2015

kevandkath said:
Thank you.... yes we invited everyone including their SOs. We also extended the invite to our DJ and his wife and our photograpger since , even though they are paid vendors, they are also family... and I made sure they knew I was inviting them as a chance to see the venue... not for additional music or photos.The place is a Rustic barn/pavilion type building.
One other question. .. how do you feel about including the SOs at the head table? My daughter and grandson are both in the wedding party... the best man's son is our ring bearer. I thought it might be nice to include their SOs. Since there are only 8 members in the WP, to invlude them at the head table along with our officiant and his wife will total 16 at the head table. The photographer will be at her family's table and the DJ will also have a seat at the table with his wife. Does this sound proper?

Putting S/O's at the head table is fine. It's also fine to seat all the WP members among the rest of the guests, with the people they would have been seated with otherwise, or to have a couple of regular tables with WP and their dates.

The only thing that is not ok is separating WP members from their S/O's. Splitting couples is really bad.

ETA: grammar

southernbelle0915 · May 2015

kevandkath said:
how do you feel about including the SOs at the head table?

For sure seat wedding party members with their SOs. It doesn't have to be at a head table, but they should sit together.

No Rehearsal Dinner?

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