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May I start a discussion on sex?

lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Chit Chat
What's the longest you've ever gone?

Coming up on 4 1/2 months for me since my break up.  I'm not a happy camper but can't seem to "get it up" for anyone I meet.  I feel like I'm becoming a virgin again.  I don't think I've gone this long since I started having sex.

I feel like that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is like "I need to feel the weight of a man"

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Re: May I start a discussion on sex?

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    ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    The longest? 14 years, lol


    But for real, I go several months on the regular, and am not at all bothered by it.
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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ok the longest since you've started having sex obviously.

    I miss it.  I love having sex.  IT's so much fun.  
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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    A couple months?

    Actually, and kind of annoyingly, my current relationship is the least amount of sex that I've ever had. We regularly go a month or more between sexual activity. It's the major point of conflict for us I think.
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    tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I've gone 5 weeks when DH was out of state on business. That SUCKED. He routinely travels for 2-3 weeks at a time so while it isn't something I'm "used" to, I've learned to deal.
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    Lets talk about sex, baby! Lets talk about all the good time and the bad things that may be!

    Since I have been married, the longest I have gone was about a week. When I was single, maybe 6 months.

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    sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Oh, I went for over a year once, maybe close to two? It takes me awhile with someone to want to have sex and I was never one for casual encounters (no judgement if you are).

    That said, I do have a vibrator that I use really regularly :)

    H and I go in waves- sometimes a lot, sometimes not so much. But we rarely go more than a couple days without.
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    loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In all honesty, I have sex less now that I'm married (or even before we were married) than I did when I was single. But that's the way H is, and I'm okay with that. As long as we're happy and it's working for us, that's all that matters.
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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    These topics always make me so depressed about me and DH's sex lives.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I just have to chime in, here.
    Laqueredlover, you have gone through hell in the last four and a half months.  Your body is reacting to the emotional trauma and telling you that you need to be alone for a while to recover.  Listen to it.
    When the time is right, you will meet the right guy/girl and your body will let you know that it is time.

    Personally, two years.  That was a very long time ago, and I was miserable!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    bizzy592bizzy592 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    9 months I think? Besides that, 3-6 months a few times, in between relationships. After a major relationship, I either, as you put it, can't get it up for a guy, or jump back into things very quickly. Usually tied to how things ended.

    Are you too old to venture to Dorians? Back in my younger days, that was where the kids went for some clean cut strange.
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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh I know @cmgragain , I am listening to it.  I just snuggle with my dog to feel a warm body next to me.  My body is totally like "girl what's happening here" but my brain is all "no thanks" so listening to the brain for sure.


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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I never would have survived without my cat.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    bizzy592 said:

    9 months I think? Besides that, 3-6 months a few times, in between relationships. After a major relationship, I either, as you put it, can't get it up for a guy, or jump back into things very quickly. Usually tied to how things ended.

    Are you too old to venture to Dorians? Back in my younger days, that was where the kids went for some clean cut strange.

    Haha what's Dorians?  I dont' know what that is!
    image


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    lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In the last 6.5yrs I regularly go months without. FI works out of the state for 7 months out of the year so in that time it's a hand full of times when we actually get to see each other. It sucks but we always manage to make up for lost time when he's home! 

    I do always keep BOB handy though.. love that little guy, he even traveled with me on all of my work trips when I would be gone over a month at a time last year.

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    dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?

    H and I can go a few weeks between having sexual intercourse. We enjoy other ways of pleasure on a more consistent basis ;)


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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh I have my toys and that's fine, but it's so not the same thing.  That's like stress relief haha
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    julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Oh gosh I dunno... 9 months or a year?

    And yeah, FI and I don't get it on very often at all.  He travels a lot for work, and well, we just never have had tons of it together.  I didn't start on BC pills til I met him, and I think they're really killing my drive.  At least I hope that's what it is, and not just older age or something else.  We'll find out when I go off them after the wedding.

    Married 9.12.15
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    bizzy592bizzy592 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    lacqueredlover said:

    bizzy592 said:

    9 months I think? Besides that, 3-6 months a few times, in between relationships. After a major relationship, I either, as you put it, can't get it up for a guy, or jump back into things very quickly. Usually tied to how things ended.

    Are you too old to venture to Dorians? Back in my younger days, that was where the kids went for some clean cut strange.

    Haha what's Dorians?  I dont' know what that is!
    The preppiest bar imaginable.. Even more so than Sail Loft in Boston.

    http://www.dorrians-nyc.com/
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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    bizzy592 said:

    lacqueredlover said:

    bizzy592 said:

    9 months I think? Besides that, 3-6 months a few times, in between relationships. After a major relationship, I either, as you put it, can't get it up for a guy, or jump back into things very quickly. Usually tied to how things ended.

    Are you too old to venture to Dorians? Back in my younger days, that was where the kids went for some clean cut strange.

    Haha what's Dorians?  I dont' know what that is!
    The preppiest bar imaginable.. Even more so than Sail Loft in Boston.

    http://www.dorrians-nyc.com/
    haha I live way too far from there (I'm a chelsea gal) but that's hilarious.  
    image


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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2015
    dolewhipper said:

    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?


    I've considered it, but DH is just really unsexual, it's just who he is and who he's always been. I feel confident that we can work it out together ourselves, but it would be nice to have an outsider expedite the process.

    But if free time is between having dinner together and snuggling on the couch with DH watching TV OR talking to a therapist, well...my priorities are hard to change.
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    lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    JennyColada said:

    dolewhipper said:

    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?


    I've considered it, but DH is just really unsexual, it's just who he is and who he's always been. I feel confident that we can work it out together ourselves, but it would be nice to have an outsider expedite the process.

    But if free time is between having dinner together and snuggling on the couch with DH watching TV OR talking to a therapist, well...my priorities are hard to change.
    If it's something that bothers you it may start to put strain on the relationship.. Advice from my 65 year old mother who has been happily married for 36 years: People do not stress the importance of sexual contact in a relationship enough, you have to be compatible in other ways but sexual compatibility should be a very high priority to make a relationship work.

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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Without a partner, 2 years. I'm picky. 

    With FI before baby, all the time. After baby, whenever we can sneak it in. And sneak is the operative word. Otherwise you have a 2 year old at the door.
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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Um...I dunno...before Wifey I was pretty into casual sex. And with Wifey I've been pretty into sex with her.

    Maybe like 4-6 months-ish? 

    I never would've gotten through it without my rabbit. 
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    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'd say maybe 2 months, tops. I'm a relationship kinda gal and I've never really been single (since my first relationship). 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    JennyColada said:

    dolewhipper said:

    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?


    I've considered it, but DH is just really unsexual, it's just who he is and who he's always been. I feel confident that we can work it out together ourselves, but it would be nice to have an outsider expedite the process.

    But if free time is between having dinner together and snuggling on the couch with DH watching TV OR talking to a therapist, well...my priorities are hard to change.




    Are you and your H happy with your sex life? Because that it really all that matters

    You will never be happy if you compare your relationship to other people's

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    flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't have a humongous sex drive and it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with someone, so between the last time I had sex with my ex and when FI and I started having sex (only two sexual relationships), I went about three years.
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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MagicInk said:

    Um...I dunno...before Wifey I was pretty into casual sex. And with Wifey I've been pretty into sex with her.


    Maybe like 4-6 months-ish? 

    I never would've gotten through it without my rabbit. 
    I'm not so into the rabbit but my MiMi by Je Joue is the best
    image


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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lovemesomemonster said:

    JennyColada said:

    dolewhipper said:

    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?


    I've considered it, but DH is just really unsexual, it's just who he is and who he's always been. I feel confident that we can work it out together ourselves, but it would be nice to have an outsider expedite the process.

    But if free time is between having dinner together and snuggling on the couch with DH watching TV OR talking to a therapist, well...my priorities are hard to change.
    If it's something that bothers you it may start to put strain on the relationship.. Advice from my 65 year old mother who has been happily married for 36 years: People do not stress the importance of sexual contact in a relationship enough, you have to be compatible in other ways but sexual compatibility should be a very high priority to make a relationship work.
    Yea I know. I think it's mainly about me adjusting my expectations to reality, and not judging my current relationship/partner by past relationships and partners.

    A lot of it, for us at least, is in communicating what needs are (or aren't) being met and how we can meet those needs in other ways.

    For example, a big part of my identity is my sexuality. So with DH, that isn't as prominent, so together we discuss what other parts of my identity I can embellish and in how DH can show support for my new or current identity.

    We don't actually have an issues in communicating in and of itself, it's just finding the time and effort. And bringing another party (read: responsibility or commitment) into the mix (like going to a therapist) might not work out for us as beneficial at this part of the game.
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    dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    KatWAG said:

    dolewhipper said:

    JennyColada have you thought about going to a sex therapist?


    I've considered it, but DH is just really unsexual, it's just who he is and who he's always been. I feel confident that we can work it out together ourselves, but it would be nice to have an outsider expedite the process.

    But if free time is between having dinner together and snuggling on the couch with DH watching TV OR talking to a therapist, well...my priorities are hard to change.




    Are you and your H happy with your sex life? Because that it really all that matters

    You will never be happy if you compare your relationship to other people's

    QFT. My friends think it's insane we can go a month without intercourse. We're very happy either way.


    imageimage



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    lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    A good friend who I have hooked up with on and off over the years when I'm single will be in town in a few weeks.  I'm hoping my brain will react haha
    image


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