Wedding week BS

littlepep · May 2015

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:
Yeah, all this thread has taught me is that nobody will have a key to our house but us.

Anyone coming unannounced into your house, no matter how well-intentioned they were, is out of line. I don't care who you are. I don't know that I would apologize, because frankly it'd come out "I'm sorry I yelled at you after you came in my house unannounced without my permission, snooped around in my bedroom, and found shit you didn't want or need to find. You're lucky you didn't find my stash of dildos, the chocolate flavored lube, and the sex swing."
We're getting the numeric keycode locks. Need someone to come let the dogs out or babysit, give them the code. Then immediately change it.

I have been trying to talk FI into one of these forever! He wants one that connects to the phone through bluetooth though so he's been dragging his feet.

pinkcow13 · May 2015

littlepep said:

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:
Yeah, all this thread has taught me is that nobody will have a key to our house but us.

Anyone coming unannounced into your house, no matter how well-intentioned they were, is out of line. I don't care who you are. I don't know that I would apologize, because frankly it'd come out "I'm sorry I yelled at you after you came in my house unannounced without my permission, snooped around in my bedroom, and found shit you didn't want or need to find. You're lucky you didn't find my stash of dildos, the chocolate flavored lube, and the sex swing."
We're getting the numeric keycode locks. Need someone to come let the dogs out or babysit, give them the code. Then immediately change it.
I have been trying to talk FI into one of these forever! He wants one that connects to the phone through bluetooth though so he's been dragging his feet.

Clearly we need one of those! If it weren't for my wedding week, I would not be calling and apologizing but I feel like I need to keep the peace. When we come back from the honeymoon though, that's a different story.

banana468 · May 2015

pinkcow13 said:

littlepep said:

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:
Yeah, all this thread has taught me is that nobody will have a key to our house but us.

Anyone coming unannounced into your house, no matter how well-intentioned they were, is out of line. I don't care who you are. I don't know that I would apologize, because frankly it'd come out "I'm sorry I yelled at you after you came in my house unannounced without my permission, snooped around in my bedroom, and found shit you didn't want or need to find. You're lucky you didn't find my stash of dildos, the chocolate flavored lube, and the sex swing."
We're getting the numeric keycode locks. Need someone to come let the dogs out or babysit, give them the code. Then immediately change it.
I have been trying to talk FI into one of these forever! He wants one that connects to the phone through bluetooth though so he's been dragging his feet.
Clearly we need one of those! If it weren't for my wedding week, I would not be calling and apologizing but I feel like I need to keep the peace. When we come back from the honeymoon though, that's a different story.

You could always issue an apology that still doesn't excuse what she did, 'Mom, I am sorry for my outburst' in no way tells her that what she did was OK.

Then you can tackle her issues after you're married, the locks are changed and you've created a new hiding place for your stash.

sophhabobopha · May 2015

I would be pissed if my mom did this.

And she has the nerve to be mad about something she found while SNOOPING IN YOUR HOUSE?!

mrsdee15 · May 2015

I would be so upset if this happened, she was way out of line. I'm sure it came from a good place, but that's pretty invasive, and it's insane she was upset about finding something while snooping. I agree with PPs, maybe approach it as an apology for an outburst (even though I think that's a fair reaction), and then talk the issue out after the wedding is over.

novella1186 · May 2015

pinkcow13 said:

littlepep said:

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:
Yeah, all this thread has taught me is that nobody will have a key to our house but us.

Anyone coming unannounced into your house, no matter how well-intentioned they were, is out of line. I don't care who you are. I don't know that I would apologize, because frankly it'd come out "I'm sorry I yelled at you after you came in my house unannounced without my permission, snooped around in my bedroom, and found shit you didn't want or need to find. You're lucky you didn't find my stash of dildos, the chocolate flavored lube, and the sex swing."
We're getting the numeric keycode locks. Need someone to come let the dogs out or babysit, give them the code. Then immediately change it.
I have been trying to talk FI into one of these forever! He wants one that connects to the phone through bluetooth though so he's been dragging his feet.
Clearly we need one of those! If it weren't for my wedding week, I would not be calling and apologizing but I feel like I need to keep the peace. When we come back from the honeymoon though, that's a different story.

FWIW I was in a huge fight with both of my parents a week or two leading up to the wedding, and I was out of energy and fucks to give to try to hash things out with them. So I did not talk to them at all the whole week leading up to it.

They showed up late on the wedding day (my mom wanted to come at noon to help decorate-- she LOVES to do stuff like that-- but never bothered to show). DH's parents and sister and BIL were all there hanging out and decorating with us. No one from my family. Shocking.

A few minutes before the ceremony started, they finally came strolling in like they were a big deal. Last to arrive. Ugh. Obnoxious.

I was actually really glad to have the break from them. I felt like the lead-up to my wedding was WAY less stressful and more peaceful without their involvement, as well as the wedding day.

I agree with banana, you can apologize for losing your temper WITHOUT condoning the shitty thing your mom did or implying that it was ok in any way. And if things aren't 100% hashed out by the time of your big day, I'm sure she'll be fine. It's a wedding. Weddings make people happy and seem to make some people chill the fuck out.

JaniV123 · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:
Yeah, all this thread has taught me is that nobody will have a key to our house but us.

Anyone coming unannounced into your house, no matter how well-intentioned they were, is out of line. I don't care who you are. I don't know that I would apologize, because frankly it'd come out "I'm sorry I yelled at you after you came in my house unannounced without my permission, snooped around in my bedroom, and found shit you didn't want or need to find. You're lucky you didn't find my stash of dildos, the chocolate flavored lube, and the sex swing."

This would be me as well.

Im sorry this is happening the week of your wedding but I think your plan is a good one. Also let her know why you were upset (unless she is like my mom, unable to comprehend why it is wrong to cross certain boundaries).

Last November my mom came and stayed here for a week while my grandma was in the hospital (our apt is closer to the hospital than my grandma's house) and I appreciated her desire to help... until she tried to help in our bed room.... just NO....

huskypuppy14 · May 2015

Wow, sorry this is happening the week before your wedding. Honestly, I wouldn't apologize. She told you and your FH to go to hell. I'd go and get my dress and say see you at the wedding. She's acting like an asshole. I don't care if she's your mom, your FI has every right to be pissed that she went through your things. Who does that?

Even if you are innocently cleaning up things, you don't go through people's nightstands. Mop the floors take out the garbage, empty the dishwasher. What could she possibly need to clean in the drawers. I would be pissed if someone rearranged my house because I know where things are even if doesn't seem like a likely place. Did she go through your office and look at your financial record too, geez.

I've never even been in my ILs bedroom and we live one town over from them. We have house sit for them before and I still never went in their bedroom. It's called respecting one's privacy.

Bubblegum5586 · May 2015

Wow! It sounds like you are handling it well, but wow that is a crazy invasion of privacy!

We ended up buying our house 10 minutes from my parents and H was worried about them stopping by randomly etc (and they have a key since they feed our cats when we are gone). Everyone uses our back door when they come over, and one night we were watching TV and we heard a knock on our front door. H answered it and it was my parents (stopping by to congratulate H on his first sale at his new job). I asked why they came to the front door and they said because they weren't invited over and wanted to be respectful. It felt so nice how respectful they were!

loveislouder · May 2015

H's mom, her boyfriend, his aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, 14 year old cousin and my mom pranked our house while we were on honeymoon. Cousin found our cock ring and took it to her mom to ask what it was. I thought it was hilarious. And then I took away keys from anyone that had one.

ETA: Yeah, way out of line. I vote you buy her her own bong and give her some basil and see what happens.

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