Groom to be Sisters in the Wedding

[Deleted User] · March 2010

I am having a tough time because my fiance has 4 sisters and I have just 1. Is there an easy resolution as to how my fiance's sisters can still be a part of the wedding but no in the wedding party? If i have them in the wedding there will be 10 bridesmaids which seems alot. Please help as I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings but am unsure what to do.

gottahavashorti · March 2010

They could do readings or be groomswomen.

saxy414 · March 2010

Are any of them musical? They could sing or play some special music in the ceremony. I'd also suggest readings.

mbcdefg · March 2010

They can wear black dresses, carry bouquets or wear corsages, and stand as his attendants. Or they can do readings, or bring up Communion in a Christian ceremony, or hold the huppah poles in a Jewish ceremony.

Or just ask them to be bridesmaids and expect nothing more from all your attendants than to get their dresses and stand in the ceremony (which is all they're required to do anyway). Talk to your FI about how he wants to include them, and what the expectations in his family are when it comes to weddings. Some families go beserk if all the siblings aren't included, but other families couldn't care less.

I *totally* agree than 10 bridesmaids is a lot, but if their feelings would be hurt if they were not bridesmaids (or if your parents-in-law would be on your case for years about it), I personally think it's better to just suck it up for one day than to deal with years of drama. They'll be your family soon, for a VERY long time (hopefully), so may as well start things off on the right foot. As long as you take things easy and go with the flow, 10 bridesmaids really isn't a huge difference from the 6 you already want to have. Be flexible on their dresses, let them pick their own shoes/accessories, don't bombard them with requests or demands or pleas for help, and you should have smooth sailing.

And remember that, if you have 10 bridesmaids, your FI does NOT need to ask 10 groomsmen. He can ask as many or as few people (men or women) as he wants.

lalap69 · March 2010

What does your FI want to do? They are his sisters. If he is close to them, he should ask them to stand up for him as groomswomen. Otherwise you could ask them to do a reading, act as ushers, or enjoy the wedding as guests, which is also an honour.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

My fiance is leaving it up to me to make the decision. Most of his sisters are married so there will be an equivalent # of people on each side (even though that doesn't matter).

We are not having a religious ceremony so what types of readings do you recommend?

If i have them as groomswomen, where would they stand? if i did that then their spouses would not be a part of the wedding, just ushers....but thats ok, right?

None of the sisters are musically inclined so thats out.

lalap69 · March 2010

There are some really beautiful non-religious readings. My personal favourite is "Union" by Robert Fulghum. TK has a section of readings you can look through as well and see if there's any you like.

If they were groomswomen they would stand up with your FI, the same as his groomsmen would. The only difference would be that they have ladybits.

Yes, it's okay if their husbands are not in the WP, or if they are ushers.

trix1223 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groom-sisters-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:999a849e-3c78-468f-8369-a178831aced1Post:020e990e-fe86-4ccb-aef8-71d355fe4c06">Re: Groom to be Sisters in the Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]1- in charge of guest book 2- in charge of gifts 3- hand out wedding programs 4- woman usher You don't need them to be in the WP just give them a job that would label them as VIP. I am doing this because our WP doesn't consist of any of our siblings. We decided to make them all VIP's but not WP.
Posted by JenPhil6212[/QUOTE]

Wow. OP, please ignore this advice. Making someone a "guest book attendant" is NOT a VIP job, or remotely close to an honor. It is a pity position, as are "person in charge of watching gifts", and "handing out wedding programs". It screams "You didn't make the cut for WP, so we're giving you this job so that you'll think that we think that you're important.

Think about it: You're given two choices at a wedding:

#1: You can stand by a book and tell adults (who know how to pick up a pen and sign their name) that they should pick up a pen and sign their neme.

OR

#2: You can go into the party, get a drink, some appetizers, and socialize with others who are guests.

Which would you choose? Remember please, that being a guest IS an honor. Made up pity positions? Not so much.

anne.azano · March 2010

Do any of you remember the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda has to guard the guest book? She's sooooo pissed about it!

Here's a quote:

Carrie: Are you sure you can leave the guest book unattended?

Miranda: it's a bullshit job.

I think that pretty much sums it up!

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