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Who to invite etiquette?

lembasloverlembaslover member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
in Pre-wedding Parties
I was wondering is it normal to invite wedding party members' significant others to pre-wedding parties? Particularly the bachelor/bachelorette? 

After talking to our wedding party members we decided it will work out best for everyone if we do them the night before the rehearsal dinner since everyone is spread across the US or overseas. Since they are all invited with their SO I had assumed that I'd add his groomsmens' SOs to my list to give my MOH and he'd do likewise with my bridesmaids' SOs to give to his BM. However when I told him this he was like "I don't know them so they aren't coming". 

I feel like for the people who are closer it's not a huge deal but most of them are flying in with their SOs (at least I assume they wouldn't fly separate) so I feel like its rude to not include them. I tried explaining this and he doesn't think it matters. Since my fiance seems to be the one who has the problem with this should I see if my MOH and bridesmaid would want their guys tagging along with us? Or is that weirder?
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Re: Who to invite etiquette?

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    lovegood90lovegood90 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    engagedhamstermom said:

    I was wondering is it normal to invite wedding party members' significant others to pre-wedding parties? Particularly the bachelor/bachelorette? 


    After talking to our wedding party members we decided it will work out best for everyone if we do them the night before the rehearsal dinner since everyone is spread across the US or overseas. Since they are all invited with their SO I had assumed that I'd add his groomsmens' SOs to my list to give my MOH and he'd do likewise with my bridesmaids' SOs to give to his BM. However when I told him this he was like "I don't know them so they aren't coming". 

    I feel like for the people who are closer it's not a huge deal but most of them are flying in with their SOs (at least I assume they wouldn't fly separate) so I feel like its rude to not include them. I tried explaining this and he doesn't think it matters. Since my fiance seems to be the one who has the problem with this should I see if my MOH and bridesmaid would want their guys tagging along with us? Or is that weirder?
    Who is hosting your bachelor/ette parties? You should check with them to ask how many people they can afford to host. If it's a pay your own way thing and they're making reservations or something, ask them what maximum number of people can be accommodated for.

    Formerly martha1818

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    lembasloverlembaslover member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    My MOH offered to host mine and his BM is hosting his. I plan on checking with them before finalizing a list. 

    I just want to know if it's normal that SO are invited and if it's not I guess maybe I'm wrong and that's fine it just seems rude to me to have people with nothing to do for a night especially after traveling far. But maybe I'm mistaken or maybe they will just decline to go if their SO can't attend and maybe that's the best option. 
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    RezIpsaRezIpsa member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Why not just forget about a bachelor/bachelorette party and do one big party with everyone?

    I think it's rude to expect SOs to be left alone, and adding them in to a party where they know no one is uncomfortable and awkward.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    RezIpsa said:

    Why not just forget about a bachelor/bachelorette party and do one big party with everyone?

    I think it's rude to expect SOs to be left alone, and adding them in to a party where they know no one is uncomfortable and awkward.

    Bachelor/ette parties generally are one-sex only, and they're not hosted by the bride/groom. So it's not really up to them whether or not SOs are invited, and they usually aren't.

    That said, co-ed parties are OK (again, not hosted by the bride/groom). I personally would invite SOs to those.
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    lembasloverlembaslover member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    @Rezlpsa his best man has plans for his and I know he wants it to be separate. I agree that I felt it was rude to leave them with nothing to do which is why I wanted to see if we could add them to the parties, I guess I didn't think about them being uncomfortable at those parties though.

    I guess maybe I just shouldn't worry about it, if people come to the parties great, if some don't come until the rehearsal dinner so they can be with their SO well that is fine too, it will be fun either way.

    Has anyone else had their bachelor/bachelorette parties the day before the rehearsal dinner? How did it work out?
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