1 Month Old Flower Girl

haleyk620 · June 2015

Hi All! Looking for some suggestions as to how to incorporate my FI's 1 month old niece into the wedding. I know it may seem silly, but we really wanted to make her a special part of our day even though she is very young.

I'm looking for suggestions on how she should come down the aisle? (Sidenote, niece's dad is the best man and her mom is a bridesmaid.) Or would you just skip this all together? Any thoughts are appreciated.

mikenberger · June 2015

haleyk620 said:

Hi All! Looking for some suggestions as to how to incorporate my FI's 1 month old niece into the wedding. I know it may seem silly, but we really wanted to make her a special part of our day even though she is very young.

I'm looking for suggestions on how she should come down the aisle? (Sidenote, niece's dad is the best man and her mom is a bridesmaid.) Or would you just skip this all together? Any thoughts are appreciated.

She's a MONTH old. Skip it. Put her in a pretty dress and sit her with a family member. She'll probably sleep through the whole thing anyways. She'll be in photos and she'll be in attendance. that's "being involved".

Maggie0829 · June 2015

mikenberger said:

haleyk620 said:

Hi All! Looking for some suggestions as to how to incorporate my FI's 1 month old niece into the wedding. I know it may seem silly, but we really wanted to make her a special part of our day even though she is very young.

I'm looking for suggestions on how she should come down the aisle? (Sidenote, niece's dad is the best man and her mom is a bridesmaid.) Or would you just skip this all together? Any thoughts are appreciated.

She's a MONTH old. Skip it. Put her in a pretty dress and sit her with a family member. She'll probably sleep through the whole thing anyways. She'll be in photos and she'll be in attendance. that's "being involved".

This. Seriously you are wanting to include her for YOU not for her. Take some pictures with her and call it a day.

justsie · June 2015

Agree with PPs, take some pictures with her and call it a night.

lyndausvi · June 2015

it's silly and ridiculous.

My brother and his wife had a 6 month old when they got married. Their child wore a cute dress and was in pictures. She wasn't even walked down the aisle during the procession. SIL's sister just held her in the front pew. After the ceremony she went with a babysitter to the hotel room (in the same place as the wedding).

To be honestly, I kind-of side-eye a 1 month old even being there. Since kids come on their own schedule a 1 month old might only be a 3 week old. It's generally recommended kids that young stay mostly at home.

Jen4948 · June 2015

Just take photos with her-if she's there at all. Don't try to make her a flower girl.

haleyk620 · June 2015

I appreciate the suggestions everyone; we bought a cute dress for her and were back and forth on including her in the processional which is why I asked all of you for some opinions.

@lyndausvi As for side-eyeing a 1 month old being there, FI and I left it up to her parents whether or not they wanted her to be present that day because we do not have a problem with it either way. They decided that they would like for her to be there, which is why we are going to include her. Both of our families and our friends are pretty laid back, so I don't think they will even think twice about it.

lyndausvi · June 2015

I'm not sure what being laid-back has anything to do with it.

Generally speaking, doctors do like it when 1 months olds attend a social function like a wedding due to their immune systems not being fully developed. So yes, I would side-eye a 1 month old at a wedding for those reasons.

I would not side-eye a 3 month old at a wedding (although I think it would be silly to have them in a wedding).

Jen4948 · June 2015

haleyk620 said:

I appreciate the suggestions everyone; we bought a cute dress for her and were back and forth on including her in the processional which is why I asked all of you for some opinions.

@lyndausvi As for side-eyeing a 1 month old being there, FI and I left it up to her parents whether or not they wanted her to be present that day because we do not have a problem with it either way. They decided that they would like for her to be there, which is why we are going to include her. Both of our families and our friends are pretty laid back, so I don't think they will even think twice about it.

I think that when it comes to putting any small child in the wedding, the rule of thumb should be if they can get up and down the aisle and back on their own, without having to be carried by an adult, and they should be old enough to have some idea of what they are being asked to do. So we generally tell couples who want to include children under age 3 to limit the involvement of the children to being in photos. Don't worry, they'll still be cute and very much involved. It's just that that tends to be the limit of what they can actually do.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

I agree with Lynda. I don't know why but I didn't really note the actual age of the kid, just that you were using months to count her age and in my head when you use months to count a kids age they are too young to be in a wedding.

But yeah, a one month old I would definitely side-eye. And like Lynda said, the kid could actually be more like 3 weeks if it decides to stay put in her nice warm home longer then expected.

And yeah you left the decision up to the parents on whether or not they want to bring their child. But I just don't see how them wanting to bring their kid then leads you to being all "lets include her!" What exactly did you expect a one year old to do in your wedding besides just being in pictures?

haleyk620 · June 2015

Jen4948 said:

haleyk620 said:

I appreciate the suggestions everyone; we bought a cute dress for her and were back and forth on including her in the processional which is why I asked all of you for some opinions.

@lyndausvi As for side-eyeing a 1 month old being there, FI and I left it up to her parents whether or not they wanted her to be present that day because we do not have a problem with it either way. They decided that they would like for her to be there, which is why we are going to include her. Both of our families and our friends are pretty laid back, so I don't think they will even think twice about it.

I think that when it comes to putting any small child in the wedding, the rule of thumb should be if they can get up and down the aisle and back on their own, without having to be carried by an adult, and they should be old enough to have some idea of what they are being asked to do. So we generally tell couples who want to include children under age 3 to limit the involvement of the children to being in photos. Don't worry, they'll still be cute and very much involved. It's just that that tends to be the limit of what they can actually do.

Thanks @Jen4948 ! I think we will probably just end up having her sit in the front pew with other family members and then include in her pictures.

OliveOilsMom · June 2015

My niece was 6 weeks old when she attend my sister's wedding. She stayed in the back of the church with my SIL. After the ceremony, my SIL put her in a dress for the family photos. After the family photos she went back home to stay with my SIL's sister during the reception.

Please make sure that someone other than your parents will watch the baby during the ceremony. And as one of our MOB posters, kssmmg says, she wants to be able to enjoy her children's weddings and does not want to be stuck babysitting during them. So if you can, allow the parents to bring an extra person with them to watch the baby.

haleyk620 · June 2015

OliveOilsMom said:

My niece was 6 weeks old when she attend my sister's wedding. She stayed in the back of the church with my SIL. After the ceremony, my SIL put her in a dress for the family photos. After the family photos she went back home to stay with my SIL's sister during the reception.
Please make sure that someone other than your parents will watch the baby during the ceremony. And as one of our MOB posters, kssmmg says, she wants to be able to enjoy her children's weddings and does not want to be stuck babysitting during them. So if you can, allow the parents to bring an extra person with them to watch the baby.

Thank you for the insight! My FI's SIL is a bridesmaid; however, we invited her family to the wedding so they will likely end up taking care of the baby throughout the day.

delujm0 · June 2015

I don't agree that it's weird to have a one month old there...having her there instead of leaving her behind could be a lot easier for her mother, especially if she is breastfeeding. Many breastfeeding mothers do not want to introduce bottles that early, so it's impractical for them to leave the baby behind for more than an hour or two. Newborns generally eat every 2-3 hours. If you want the mother there, you may have to allow the baby to be there as well.

The baby's immune system won't be well developed at one month (or less), so her parents will likely not want to pass her around too much...the baby will probably just be either sitting in a carrier or worn in a sling the whole time to limit contact with people who may not be vaccinated or who may be ill.

That having been said, aside from getting a few pictures with her, there's not much you can do with a baby this young, other than be understanding of the parents, especially the mother...giving birth isn't a walk in the park, and she's probably not going to feel 100% one month afterwards. it's great that you want your niece included, but there's not much a one month old does other than eat, sleep, and poop...so there's really not much you can do.

KatWAG · June 2015

A one month old cant even hold up their own head, how would she/he possibly be able to participate in your wedding.

Have the LO at the wedding or don't. But don't try to find she/he a role.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

When a baby is 1 month old, they're usually sleeping, eating, or needing a diaper change. They can't walk (obviously), hold up their own head, or even socially smile at you. It doesn't really make sense to give her a role. KWIM?

The ONLY way this child should be part of the processional (if at all) is being carried by a responsible adult. Don't even think about a wagon or other "cute" thing - it's not safe, especially for a newborn.

I wouldn't over-think this. Focus your energy on something else.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Skip having her part of the ceremony but make sure to include the baby in some family photos.

Fosmoh · July 2015

my daughter was due exactly four weeks before my sister's wedding. she came two weeks early so she was 6 weeks old at my sister's wedding. she wore a cute dress and was in photos. since it was my sister's wedding there was a lot of family there to help with her. she wasn't in the wedding party (my son was the ring barer and my niece was the flower girl)
my other niece was only two and a half months old at the wedding.

There were so many people willing to help out with the babies. i was a bridesmaid so it was really nice having so many family members to help with her lol.

i definitely agree with involvement being with the photos. will you have another flower girl or ring barer?? you could have a small wagon or bassinet and have it set up for photos (ONLY for photos, don't have a small child pull an infant in the wagon, not sure that's the greatest idea lol)

Who cares if people side eye a baby being at a wedding, if they do so be it, it's a family event and baby IS family

Besides, it's the parent's call as to whether or not the baby attends.

just be prepared that things may not always go as planned, so baby could be late and the mother and baby may not attend if there's any complications with a difficult birth or the mother's not healing well etc. also, they may feel like they'd be fine with it now but come the time when baby is born they may just not feel up to it, try to be laid back about that. especially if it's a first child, some people have a really difficult time adjusting to parenthood (the mother may develop postpartum depression for example), also don't be offended if they leave early, they may be exhausted and really just feel like they need to sleep lol.

sorry for the long ramble lol
I think it's so sweet to want to incorporate the baby. if you do end up taking photos maybe try and get your photographer to take a really nice photo of the baby on her own so that you can frame it and give to the parents as a gift

[Deleted User] · July 2015

My niece will be four months at my wedding. My sister is a BM and our plan is for her to carry the baby down the aisle with her, but pass her off to my BIL who will be in the front row. That way she is technically "in the wedding." I know you said her parents are both in the wedding, so maybe another close family member?

Most importantly though, this is the plan that the parents and I came up with together and agreed may have to change last minute depending on how they feel that day. Talk to them, they may have a great idea that they are more comfortable with or they may tell you that they would rather not do it. But it can't hurt to have a conversation!

AddieCake · July 2015

I find it ridiculous when babies are carried down the aisle, pulled in wagons, etc. If they aren't old enough to get themselves down the aisle, they are just being used as props.

climbingsingle · July 2015

I agree with Addie. What is the point of having a flower girl or ring bearer that can't even walk? It makes no sense to me.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

climbingwife said:

I agree with Addie. What is the point of having a flower girl or ring bearer that can't even walk? It makes no sense to me.

Because PICTURES!!

1 Month Old Flower Girl

Re: 1 Month Old Flower Girl

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