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How do I incorporate my daughter?

MrsMitchell2016MrsMitchell2016 member
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in Wedding Party
Our daughter will be 16 months old at the time of our wedding and we're wanting to incorporate her in it somehow but I'm struggling on how to do so. She will be too young to be a flower girl so 2 of my nieces are flower girls. Before anyone suggests having her be pulled down aisle in a wagon our venue has stairs so that isn't an option. I thought maybe one of my bridesmaids could carry her down the aisle and then hand her off to grandma for the rest of the ceremony or she maybe she could sit at the guest book table and "hand out" the programs to the guest. Does anyone have other suggestions or ideas? Thanks in advance!
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Re: How do I incorporate my daughter?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    Just take photos with her. She'll be very much "incorporated" into your wedding just by being there.

    I would not expect a 16 month old to realistically be able to hand things out, and as you say, she's too young to be a flower girl.

    Edited to add: No wedding party member should be asked to carry an infant or toddler down the aisle.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't have suggested the wagon anyway. Cute on Pinterest, dangerous IRL.

    Anyway, involve her by picking out a nice dress for her and seating her in the front row with grandma. Maybe affix a tiny corsage to her dress. Take lots of photos with her.

    She's 16 months old. She may be sleeping, crying or pleasant. Who knows? I would also consider lining up a babysitter so that if she is crying, grandma doesn't have to miss her daughter's wedding ceremony.
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    image
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    I wouldn't have suggested the wagon anyway. Cute on Pinterest, dangerous IRL. Anyway, involve her by picking out a nice dress for her and seating her in the front row with grandma. Maybe affix a tiny corsage to her dress. Take lots of photos with her. She's 16 months old. She may be sleeping, crying or pleasant. Who knows? I would also consider lining up a babysitter so that if she is crying, grandma doesn't have to miss her daughter's wedding ceremony.
    This.

    My niece was 18 months at our wedding and as soon as the ceremony started she began crying and her Dad immediately took her out of range.  She was then running around the reception the entire time.  Our friend had set up a camera to capture the entire reception and then sped it up to show everything in like 2 minutes.  The entire time you can see this little girl dressed in purple all over the place closesly followed by my sister and her H.  It was funny to see them running around everywhere, but unless you want that to be you (or your Mom) at your own wedding a babysitter would be ideal.

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MrsMitchell2016 said:
    Our daughter will be 16 months old at the time of our wedding and we're wanting to incorporate her in it somehow but I'm struggling on how to do so. She will be too young to be a flower girl so 2 of my nieces are flower girls. Before anyone suggests having her be pulled down aisle in a wagon our venue has stairs so that isn't an option. I thought maybe one of my bridesmaids could carry her down the aisle and then hand her off to grandma for the rest of the ceremony or she maybe she could sit at the guest book table and "hand out" the programs to the guest. Does anyone have other suggestions or ideas? Thanks in advance!

    I would first suggest that your FI carry her in and hand her off to a babysitter.  I wouldn't ask a BM to carry her in or have your FG try to get her to walk down the aisle. 

    Also, have a designated babysitter for your daughter for the evening.  Please don't ask either of your parents to be the babysitter of your daughter.  They will want to enjoy the wedding of their children.  One of our MOB posters always mentions this! 

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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    MrsMitchell2016 said:
    Our daughter will be 16 months old at the time of our wedding and we're wanting to incorporate her in it somehow but I'm struggling on how to do so. She will be too young to be a flower girl so 2 of my nieces are flower girls. Before anyone suggests having her be pulled down aisle in a wagon our venue has stairs so that isn't an option. I thought maybe one of my bridesmaids could carry her down the aisle and then hand her off to grandma for the rest of the ceremony or she maybe she could sit at the guest book table and "hand out" the programs to the guest. Does anyone have other suggestions or ideas? Thanks in advance!
    Nobody in their right mind would suggest this.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Sit at the guest book table?!? What. No. Absolutely not. If anything, you could carry her down the aisle with you and then hand her to her appointed caretaker.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    Sorry, double post.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    MrsMitchell2016 said:
    Our daughter will be 16 months old at the time of our wedding and we're wanting to incorporate her in it somehow but I'm struggling on how to do so. She will be too young to be a flower girl so 2 of my nieces are flower girls. Before anyone suggests having her be pulled down aisle in a wagon our venue has stairs so that isn't an option. I thought maybe one of my bridesmaids could carry her down the aisle and then hand her off to grandma for the rest of the ceremony or she maybe she could sit at the guest book table and "hand out" the programs to the guest. Does anyone have other suggestions or ideas? Thanks in advance!
    Incorporate her?  WHY?  She will be a baby.  She will have no idea of what is happening. Your wedding is a ceremony that unites you and your FI, not your daughter.   She is already a part of your both.  The wedding changes your legal status, not hers.
    Babies should not be participants in a wedding party.  Never!  Arrange child care for her during the ceremony, then you can take her to the reception for cute photos.   Many churches forbid babies in a wedding party.  Don't make Grandma have the distraction of holding a wiggly baby during your beautiful ceremony.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I like the idea of hiring a sitter for the day. This way you can have someone with the baby for the day to take care of her while everyone is getting ready. They can also help watch the baby while photos are being done & then can allow all relatives to eat and enjoy the reception. If the grand parents want to hold her during the ceremony & want to have her during the reception. That's fine, but having the baby sitter there to jump in when the baby starts crying or needs to be changed can help make your relatives experience a wonderful one.

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    MrsMitchell2016 said:
    or she maybe she could sit at the guest book table and "hand out" the programs to the guest.
    16 months?  I wouldn't suggest it, unless you want a lot of torn/crumpled/chewed programs, and a tantrum when someone actually tries to take one.

    The sitter suggestion is top notch.
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