We finally found dresses.

justsie · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Hello! I'm considering asking guests to wear something white or ivory to my wedding in November. I was a bit dismayed that my bridesmaids weren't keen on wearing ivory dresses (they don't think they look good in the color), then I thought it might be a fun theme to request that guests wear something white or ivory of their choice. For example, they could wear an all white dress, an ivory ribbon in their hair, white shirt, green and white checkered shirt, etc. Does this seem corny? Also, I certainly don't want to dictate what guests wear, but I thought it would be fun to see what ideas people come up with and get some pictures of guests showing off their white and ivory.

Please don't ask guests to wear anything, it will be considered rude and tacky by many. If I got an invite that said "please wear something white" I'd side eye that so fast.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

You don't tell people how to dress. Period.

beachyone15 · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Hello! I'm considering asking guests to wear something white or ivory to my wedding in November. I was a bit dismayed that my bridesmaids weren't keen on wearing ivory dresses (they don't think they look good in the color), then I thought it might be a fun theme to request that guests wear something white or ivory of their choice. For example, they could wear an all white dress, an ivory ribbon in their hair, white shirt, green and white checkered shirt, etc. Does this seem corny? Also, I certainly don't want to dictate what guests wear, but I thought it would be fun to see what ideas people come up with and get some pictures of guests showing off their white and ivory.

If your bridesmaids don't like the idea, I doubt your guests will.

I guess I don't really understand the point of this. It's likely that some guests will naturally wear a white shirt/white accessories. But that's their decision to make. And why do you want to draw attention towards that?

aliwis000 · June 2015

Please do not ask this of your guests. They are grown ups and can figure out what looks best on them and what they are comfortable with. If I got an invite saying you requested I wear ivory or white I would think you had lost your mind.

I hate shopping and prefer darker or jewel tones on me better than light ones. I do not own anything white or ivory. Heck my wedding gown is blush with a lace ivory overlay. I would then either have to go shopping or decline your wedding. Since there is only a handful of people I would buy a new one-time-use only outfit for I would probably just decline it.

RezIpsa · June 2015

I got an invitation to one of these. It definitely factored into my decision not to attend. If a couple can't figure out this is rude as all get out, then I have a lot of concern there will be other issues.

Turns out it is also at an expensive all inclusive resort in Mexico (so they get a free/quasi free reception and room), and it is a PPD.

Yup, that is a "decline with regret" and there was actually no regret on my part.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Okay, thanks! I hadn't realized it would be rude to suggest people wear a little of one shade as part of a theme. I thought about having an all white wedding (I've seen this done), but I was reading comments that people found it rude as well, and I realize some people think white isn't a shade that flatters them. I understand that some people want to follow the tradition of only the bride wearing white, but for my wedding, I feel like I don't want to be the only one wearing all ivory.

julieanne912 · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Okay, thanks! I hadn't realized it would be rude to suggest people wear a little of one shade as part of a theme. I thought about having an all white wedding (I've seen this done), but I was reading comments that people found it rude as well, and I realize some people think white isn't a shade that flatters them. I understand that some people want to follow the tradition of only the bride wearing white, but for my wedding, I feel like I don't want to be the only one wearing all ivory.

You are not Kim Kardashian. Also, you're the bride... pretty sure it's pretty normal for the bride to be the only one wearing white or ivory.

If I got an invite requesting me to wear something extremely specific, I wouldn't go, because that would require me to buy an entirely new outfit that I would probably never wear again.

justsie · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Okay, thanks! I hadn't realized it would be rude to suggest people wear a little of one shade as part of a theme. I thought about having an all white wedding (I've seen this done), but I was reading comments that people found it rude as well, and I realize some people think white isn't a shade that flatters them. I understand that some people want to follow the tradition of only the bride wearing white, but for my wedding, I feel like I don't want to be the only one wearing all ivory.

You don't even have to wear ivory or white. You can choose to wear whatever color you wish. People will still know that you are the bride.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Okay, thanks! I hadn't realized it would be rude to suggest people wear a little of one shade as part of a theme. I thought about having an all white wedding (I've seen this done), but I was reading comments that people found it rude as well, and I realize some people think white isn't a shade that flatters them. I understand that some people want to follow the tradition of only the bride wearing white, but for my wedding, I feel like I don't want to be the only one wearing all ivory.

Your guests are not decorations to be made to match your theme.

If you don't want to be the only one in ivory then don't wear ivory. Wear another color. The only attire you can control is your own so pick what you want, not what is expected or "normal."

lyndausvi · June 2015

justsie said:

callalilliesbloom said:

Okay, thanks! I hadn't realized it would be rude to suggest people wear a little of one shade as part of a theme. I thought about having an all white wedding (I've seen this done), but I was reading comments that people found it rude as well, and I realize some people think white isn't a shade that flatters them. I understand that some people want to follow the tradition of only the bride wearing white, but for my wedding, I feel like I don't want to be the only one wearing all ivory.

You don't even have to wear ivory or white. You can choose to wear whatever color you wish. People will still know that you are the bride.

THIS^

MagicInk wore red. Other knotties have worn colors other than white/ivory.

I do not wear many white clothes. A white outfit is nothing more then a stain magnet for me. I'm not even sure my DH owns a white shirt. Well he does have his white tux shirt, but that is about it. He likes colored shirts.

switSwoo00 · June 2015

I was once invited to a wedding where the bride asked everyone to wear navy blue. It's one of my favourite colours but it did piss me off a bit to be told what to wear.

You could offer people a corsage or a ribbon/ pin at the ceremony if you like the idea of a unifying 'item' but I would strongly advise making it clear that this is an added 'option' for your guests and that they don't have to wear it. Many people will not want to put a pin in their nicest clothes, but some might like the idea and if you have another option, like a wrist corsage for your wedding party ladies (my Mother, FSIL and my FMIL are having these and are really excited about them!)

klk111415 · June 2015

I've been to a wedding (it was a close friend) who invited people to dress in their wedding colors as an option. It was in no way forced. It was great to see so many people dressed in all shades of blue and green and if you didn't want to dress in that color, it wasn't a problem since it was only a suggestion. I wasn't pissed at all... I don't love the idea of others dressing in ivory or white, though, especially in November where ivory and white are more appropriate for summer. I'm also getting married in November and my hope is that I see a lot of fall colors since I don't have official colors for my wedding.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Thank you everyone for your input. I should have added that my bought my ivory dress a few months ago from a bridal boutique with a no-return policy. I like the dress itself, and also hoped that the bridesmaids would dress in ivory. I know that many brides have been more flexible in recent years with what bridesmaids wear, but I think we may be able to find flowy ivory dresses that looked flattering on all of them. I know that in the scheme of things, what people wear isn't a big deal, but I expect this is the only time I'll ever get married, and I wish my all my friends would jump on board with the ivory idea.

justsie · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Thank you everyone for your input. I should have added that my bought my ivory dress a few months ago from a bridal boutique with a no-return policy. I like the dress itself, and also hoped that the bridesmaids would dress in ivory. I know that many brides have been more flexible in recent years with what bridesmaids wear, but I think we may be able to find flowy ivory dresses that looked flattering on all of them. I know that in the scheme of things, what people wear isn't a big deal, but I expect this is the only time I'll ever get married, and I wish my all my friends would jump on board with the ivory idea.

I think you really missed the point. Your friends and loved ones are not props that you can place into your theme. Suggesting that the wear anything is not treating them like the adults that they are and asking them to be props and will be perceived rude by many. Many of the brides here have gotten married only once and managed to do so without being rude to the guests or treating them like props.

jacques27 · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Thank you everyone for your input. I should have added that my bought my ivory dress a few months ago from a bridal boutique with a no-return policy. I like the dress itself, and also hoped that the bridesmaids would dress in ivory. I know that many brides have been more flexible in recent years with what bridesmaids wear, but I think we may be able to find flowy ivory dresses that looked flattering on all of them. I know that in the scheme of things, what people wear isn't a big deal, but I expect this is the only time I'll ever get married, and I wish my all my friends would jump on board with the ivory idea.

A lot of people aren't comfortable in all white/ivory. If you want to dictate that for your bridal party, so be it, even though they aren't comfortable with it. As for your other guests, I own nothing that even has a little bit of white, unless you count the white Hanes sports socks I buy with the pink toes and heels. I don't even own anything that's a pattern with white in it. And I actually just did an inventory of my closet so this isn't hyperbole - literally nothing with white. So, even if it wasn't rude to dictate the attire of grown adults (which it is), I would feel very put out at having to purchase a new outfit to attend your wedding (and most likely wouldn't attend).

People aren't props. Have all the visions you want and incorporate your theme through your own dress, the flowers, the table linens, your other decor, your invitations, your escort cards, your programs, your favors - but the line gets drawn at people. You don't use people as props.

lovesclimbing · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Thank you everyone for your input. I should have added that my bought my ivory dress a few months ago from a bridal boutique with a no-return policy. I like the dress itself, and also hoped that the bridesmaids would dress in ivory. I know that many brides have been more flexible in recent years with what bridesmaids wear, but I think we may be able to find flowy ivory dresses that looked flattering on all of them. I know that in the scheme of things, what people wear isn't a big deal, but I expect this is the only time I'll ever get married, and I wish my all my friends would jump on board with the ivory idea.

If your bridesmaids really dislike ivory, I would go a different route. The more comfortable someone is in their clothing, the better they will look in the photos you will be hanging on your wall forever. Consider ivory flowers and/or an ivory sash.

I just did some googling and there are quite a few two-tone dresses out there with a dark top and ivory or white skirt. As long as the dress is within budget, maybe do something like this if you really really want the ivory. It gets the ivory away from the face.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Points taken, for the most part. Did all of you ask your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses? In most photos I've seen, and most weddings I've been to, all the bridesmaids wear blush, coral, blue, or another color that goes with the palette the bride chose. I just told everyone they could wear whatever they wanted, and the mothers of my flower girls asked what my colors were. I think it's hard to choose a palette if I don't know what people will choose to wear. So, it's confusing when you say the line should be drawn at what people wear. I want everyone to be happy, but it would also be great to have a somewhat cohesive look.

Viczaesar · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Points taken, for the most part. Did all of you ask your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses? In most photos I've seen, and most weddings I've been to, all the bridesmaids wear blush, coral, blue, or another color that goes with the palette the bride chose. I just told everyone they could wear whatever they wanted, and the mothers of my flower girls asked what my colors were. I think it's hard to choose a palette if I don't know what people will choose to wear. So, it's confusing when you say the line should be drawn at what people wear. I want everyone to be happy, but it would also be great to have a somewhat cohesive look.

So suggest another color and see if your bridesmaids are more amenable to that one. Then tell them to get a dress of their choice in that color. Easy and you don't have to ask people for their budgets, as you would have to otherwise.

jacques27 · June 2015

callalilliesbloom said:

Points taken, for the most part. Did all of you ask your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses? In most photos I've seen, and most weddings I've been to, all the bridesmaids wear blush, coral, blue, or another color that goes with the palette the bride chose. I just told everyone they could wear whatever they wanted, and the mothers of my flower girls asked what my colors were. I think it's hard to choose a palette if I don't know what people will choose to wear. So, it's confusing when you say the line should be drawn at what people wear. I want everyone to be happy, but it would also be great to have a somewhat cohesive look.

Do you have no other colors you like besides ivory? Black? Navy? Taupe? Red? The dresses also don't have to "match" your colors. Just pick a dress that goes with everything - Navy goes with everything. Black goes with everything. Grey, silver, or pewter goes with almost everything.

You don't have to choose a palette based on what they like, but you should be considerate to what they would feel comfortable in. And you should already have idea of what that is - what do they normally wear? Seriously, if you looked in my closet right now, you'd know that I gravitate to all sorts of blues, reds/pinks, black and brown. I could wear blue everyday for a month and not repeat outfits. My friends pretty much know that white/ivory, oranges and yellows, and purple are just not my bag because they have never seen me wear those colors ever.

Also, keep in mind that depending on skin tones, some people look great in white, but not ivory and some people look great in ivory, but not white. Same with other colors. If your colors were ivory and orange, I look horrid in orange. I cannot pull it off. I have pictures of myself wearing orange and I look positively ill in them - that's how bad I look in orange. I would not feel comfortable wearing that and would probably pick ivory over that, even though I would spend the whole day worrying about whether I've spilled or brushed up against something and just feel self-conscious about wearing something so stark looking.

Again, there's a huge middle area between dictating to people and letting them have free reign - it just involves having consideration for them and taking some time to find middle ground.

kathyander25 · July 2015

Use White Wedding Theme

southernbelle0915 · July 2015

kathyander25 said:
Use White Wedding Theme

A) This thread is a month old.
B ) Did you even read it?
C) NO.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

We finally found dresses.

Re: We finally found dresses.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards