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Knottie91379610 · June 2015

*Update in comments*

MJKlover · June 2015

I have declined to attend outdoor weddings in the summer because it is just too hot and humid here in the southern U.S. That's just my personal preference not to feel like a sweaty hog all day/night but maybe your guests will be fine with it. It's not clear from your post where you are from, but so far this spring has been extremely rainy and very hot these past 2-3 weeks. (Of course if you live in the area, you already know that). The high today in some areas of Arkansas is going to be 93* and the sun doesn't set until a little after 8:00pm. That's a long time to be outside all dressed up in wedding attire.

Edited: It's too early in the morning for words.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

Temperature isnt the only factor to consider - think about humidity, cloud cover, are you offering shade, etc. However, 95 is too hot for an outdoor wedding, no matter what else is going on. It's rude to make people stand around outside because of your wedding vision.

If the vision is that important to you, move the wedding to March or April when you're more likely to get a reasonable temp. Otherwise, I think you're stuck with the church reception.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

95 is too damn hot for an outdoor wedding reception, or really anything that doesn't involve shorts, a tank top, flip flop, bathing suits and a pool Period.

thespeshulestsnowflake · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

Hello all!

I am planning on having two receptions because we are expecting a large crowd (mostly church members, haha) The second reception will be more intimate for close family and friends in the backyard of my fiance's house in Arkansas, which is absolutely GORGEOUS. He has moss, tall trees, bushes, and flowers, a gazebo with a deck and a one of those bench swings!

I am very excited about this, but his parents seem to be thinking that we may have to keep both receptions in the church fellowship hall/gym if it is too hot. This is Arkansas, and the wedding is June 27. I knew and expected this, so that's why I planned on doing the second reception at 5, when it becomes cooler in the evening. There are lots of trees and his backyard is completely shaded, so I didn't think it would feel too hot.

Of course, I want my guests to be happy and their comfort is definitely very important to me! I will keep both receptions at his church if need be, but I will be discouraged. We have bought decorations and dedicated much of our time preparing for this reception, because both my fiance and I are outdoorsy and we love nature.

I need honest opinions. Even if the average temp in Arkansas on this day is 95, will it still be okay to continue with the outdoor reception in the backyard? How hot is too hot? Ideas if I do end up moving to the church (it's a gym, and we're trying to figure out where to place our string lights and other decor). Thanks guys!

I don't get why you are having two receptions?

artbyallie · June 2015

Cancel the outdoor reception anyway because it is rude to host some of your guests differently than others. That is called a tiered wedding and is entirely unacceptable.

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

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Knottie91379610 · June 2015

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

I am sorry, but I can't cancel it. This was upon my future-mother-in law's request. She is concerned about the older people in their church that cannot attend the dinner reception. She wants to make sure everyone has the opportunity to take part in wedding activities. There will be cake and snacks served at the first reception, and we will not dismiss any guests who want to come to the second one. We have limited seating for the backyard, that is why my FI inlaws wanted to do it this way, so we don't have 100+ at the house. If it were my choice, I would have it in one place, but his parents did not like my idea at all. So we compromised.

If your FMIL requested that you quit your job, would you? If your FMIL requested that you name your child Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, would you? If your FMIL requested that you never speak to her son again, would you?

Either the church folks are your guests (treated just like other guests) or they are not. To try and have it both ways means you are treating them like sub-standard guests. It's rude and it looks very gift grabby on your part.

Also, there must be a seat for each guest. There are very few actual "requirements" for a wedding but having a chair seat for every guest is one of them.

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

ShesSoCold · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

My future mother in law was afraid that most of our guests would not be able to attend the dinner reception because most of their church is elderly. We are doing two out of respect of her request. The guests that cannot stay long will be able to eat cake, talk, take part in scrapbooking, eat snacks and then leave if they need to, especially guests with younger children. The second reception is taking place is around 6:00. This is where guests who can stay longer can join us for dinner, a s'mores bonfire (at the end of the night) and we will do the bouquet/garter toss.
We will not dismiss guests who want to stay for the dinner.
This wasn't my idea, but my mother-in-law is very much a people pleaser and she was afraid of offending any guest who wanted to eat cake but couldn't stay longer than 6. So we decided to have cake first, dinner later. I know it sounds crazy, and I still think it is, but I didn't want to create drama and stress within my future family. Compromise was necessary.
If you're curious this is the schedule:
Wedding ceremony: 4:00 (should end around 4:45)
First reception ("cocktail hour"): 5:00-6:00
Dinner reception: 6:00

I'd say between 75-80 would be the cutoff for it being too hot to be outside. So unless your reception begins at like 11:30 pm, there's a pretty good chance your reception will be WAY too hot to ask people to be outside. You need to come up with a better plan. Seriously.

And to the bolded - what the shit?

justsie · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

Situation that we are in, we cannot move the wedding to March or april. My fiancé is going to seminary after we graduate, and we want to be married so I can move with him to Missouri. We chose June 27 because it is the only date that will work with our future plans. I need to go to seminary as well to take part of missions classes.

Even though it MIGHT be in the 90s during the day, it will cool down to an average of 85 in the summer, even cooler, it could go down to 75, especially in Arkansas. This is why we chose to have an evening reception, so our guests don't have to bear the heat. We will be inside our church most of the afternoon.
They won't be standing around, and as I said, there will be plenty of shade. The whole yard is shaded because of the thick foliage and trees. There will be plenty of seating available.

Knottie91379610 said:

I completely understand! Guests who accepted the request know about the outdoor reception. They will be inside entirely for the church ceremony and the first reception or "cocktail hour" if you will. They will be outside between 6:00-8:00. Things should cool down in the evening. However, if it still hot and humid even at night, we will move the dinner to the church fellowship hall!

JIC

OP, this is very rude. What are you going to do if everyone wants to stay? You say you have room for 100 in the yard (which I agree with other posters, it will be WAY to hot to stay outside, and I'm used to the heat in Texas) so does that mean you are having the cocktail hour with more than 100? Otherwise I would assume that you would just properly host everyone. Are you prepared to feed everyone that attends the "second reception" and allow every single guest that witnessed you get married attend? As well as have a chair for every person that attends?

MJKlover · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:
Situation that we are in, we cannot move the wedding to March or april. My fiancé is going to seminary after we graduate, and we want to be married so I can move with him to Missouri. We chose June 27 because it is the only date that will work with our future plans. I need to go to seminary as well to take part of missions classes.

Even though it MIGHT be in the 90s during the day, it will cool down to an average of 85 in the summer, even cooler, it could go down to 75, especially in Arkansas. This is why we chose to have an evening reception, so our guests don't have to bear the heat. We will be inside our church most of the afternoon.
They won't be standing around, and as I said, there will be plenty of shade. The whole yard is shaded because of the thick foliage and trees. There will be plenty of seating available.

Well, I just checked the current temp in my area of Arkansas and it's cooled all the way down to 90* exactly at 7:15pm. It won't be much cooler in a few weeks and will most likely be even warmer. It sounds like you've made up your mind so I'm confused why you're asking for others' opinions.

MobKaz · June 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

Temperature isnt the only factor to consider - think about humidity, cloud cover, are you offering shade, etc. However, 95 is too hot for an outdoor wedding, no matter what else is going on. It's rude to make people stand around outside because of your wedding vision. If the vision is that important to you, move the wedding to March or April when you're more likely to get a reasonable temp. Otherwise, I think you're stuck with the church reception.

In addition to all of the above, I have to wonder about mosquitos and other bugs.

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

TrixieJess · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

Situation that we are in, we cannot move the wedding to March or april. My fiancé is going to seminary after we graduate, and we want to be married so I can move with him to Missouri. We chose June 27 because it is the only date that will work with our future plans. I need to go to seminary as well to take part of missions classes.

Even though it MIGHT be in the 90s during the day, it will cool down to an average of 85 in the summer, even cooler, it could go down to 75, especially in Arkansas. This is why we chose to have an evening reception, so our guests don't have to bear the heat. We will be inside our church most of the afternoon.
They won't be standing around, and as I said, there will be plenty of shade. The whole yard is shaded because of the thick foliage and trees. There will be plenty of seating available.

This is still too hot. I wouldn't be able to handle this amount of heat and being outside even in the evening. Also, isn't it fairly humid in that area (I apologise, I don't know much about Arkansas weather)? The humidity may not break by the evening, and what about rain? Do you have a rain plan?

mikenberger · June 2015

Lol, your whole day is just one big ball of insanity. I'm beginning to see who the problem is here and it's not your future MIL.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:
Hello all!

I am planning on having two receptions because we are expecting a large crowd (mostly church members, haha) The second reception will be more intimate for close family and friends in the backyard of my fiance's house in Arkansas, which is absolutely GORGEOUS. He has moss, tall trees, bushes, and flowers, a gazebo with a deck and a one of those bench swings!

I am very excited about this, but his parents seem to be thinking that we may have to keep both receptions in the church fellowship hall/gym if it is too hot. This is Arkansas, and the wedding is June 27. I knew and expected this, so that's why I planned on doing the second reception at 5, when it becomes cooler in the evening. There are lots of trees and his backyard is completely shaded, so I didn't think it would feel too hot.

Of course, I want my guests to be happy and their comfort is definitely very important to me! I will keep both receptions at his church if need be, but I will be discouraged. We have bought decorations and dedicated much of our time preparing for this reception, because both my fiance and I are outdoorsy and we love nature.

I need honest opinions. Even if the average temp in Arkansas on this day is 95, will it still be okay to continue with the outdoor reception in the backyard? How hot is too hot? Ideas if I do end up moving to the church (it's a gym, and we're trying to figure out where to place our string lights and other decor). Thanks guys!

If it's humid, you won't catch me outside in 95 degree weather. If there's no humidity, I wouldn't want to be outside for very long, unless I'm on a beach or in the water.

And the question is, what will the temp be at 5pm that day? It could still be quite high.

Have your reception indoors and only have one, immediately following your ceremony. You don't need to have two receptions, that's odd and gratuitous.

redoryx · June 2015

You asked for opinions and the overwhelming consensus is that IT'S GOING TO BE TOO DAMN HOT FOR AN OUTDOOR RECEPTION.

Yet you continue to try and argue and validate your position. So I'm really not sure what you want us to say at this point.

Cookie Pusher · June 2015

Knottie91379610 said:

We have been keeping track of the weather too, and we've decided if it is hotter than 90 during the wedding, we will keep both receptions indoors. What I've made up in my mind is this: if it's over 90 we won't do it, but if it's under 90 we will. I am asking for people's opinions because I would just like to know what people think, and from what I'm getting, nobody liked our idea, with good reasons. The thing is, decisions have been made and there is nothing we can do about it, but it's good for me to hear what other ladies have to say! I just wish I was able to explain this to my FMIL before we got ourselves this far. At the end of the day, people will be fed, entertained, and they are going to have a great time! We have lots of things planned that are going to make this day meaningful to us, and certainly our guests. That's what matters in the end of the day

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

So do you have a back up plan set up in case no one shows up to this 2nd reception because it's too damn hot?

climbingsingle · June 2015

It will be way too hot. Those tiki torches don't keep away that many bugs. It sounds miserable. Will the indoor area be air conditioned?

MJKlover · June 2015

Arkansas is notoriously humid especially Eastern Arkansas(where I grew up) because of the proximity to the MS River. This year has been a record setter for rain fall and flooding. So the humidity and mosquitoes are even worse than what is typical for June (even here in Western AR where I live now). In my circle of Arkansas (and Mississippi) friends we have actually discussed spring/summer weddings and decided that from about mid April to mid October it's too damn hot to be walking around in dresses, suits, make-up, etc. trying to look cute.

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

Knottie91379610 · June 2015

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