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Ms. or Miss?

peachy13peachy13 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm helping out my mother and sister with a guest list for the bridal shower they're generously throwing me. I'm not sure when I should use Ms. vs Miss. 

Thanks!
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Re: Ms. or Miss?

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    peachy13 said:
    I'm helping out my mother and sister with a guest list for the bridal shower they're generously throwing me. I'm not sure when I should use Ms. vs Miss. 

    Thanks!
    You mean for you? Like, "Join us for a shower in honor of Ms. Peachy?"  If so, my preference is Ms. "Miss" in my opinion is very "young."  I think you can do whatever you like here. Or leave it off completely. I don't think I've ever seen a bridal shower invite with Ms or Miss on it. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited June 2015
    I would default to Ms. and only use Miss for anyone whom you know for sure really prefers that over Ms.  Same thing with Mrs.  (Ms. can be used for any woman regardless of marital status.)
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    If you don't know how your guests prefer to be addressed, I'd ask them.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I wouldn't use Miss unless you know the person prefers it.


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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    Oh, if this is for guests, use Ms unless you know Miss is preferred. Just like PPs said. 
    Clearly I need more coffee. 
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  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
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    I remember having a teacher in elementary tell me that "Miss" should only be used for young, unmarried women, and Ms. should be the default for everyone else (She said something along the lines of Miss = young, unmarried; Mrs. = Married; Ms. = None of your business whether I am married). 

    I pretty much stick to Ms. unless I know someone prefers otherwise.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    tfmrserwin said:
    I remember having a teacher in elementary tell me that "Miss" should only be used for young, unmarried women, and Ms. should be the default for everyone else (She said something along the lines of Miss = young, unmarried; Mrs. = Married; Ms. = None of your business whether I am married). 

    I pretty much stick to Ms. unless I know someone prefers otherwise.
    I think a lot of people believe this.   Technically Ms. is the female equivalent of Mr.   It's a title that doesn't actually have marital status attached to it.    Miss can be for 4 year olds or 94 year olds. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    I remember having a teacher in elementary tell me that "Miss" should only be used for young, unmarried women, and Ms. should be the default for everyone else (She said something along the lines of Miss = young, unmarried; Mrs. = Married; Ms. = None of your business whether I am married). 

    I pretty much stick to Ms. unless I know someone prefers otherwise.
    I'm just curious: what would she have advised old unmarried women to use?  Presumably they would be "Miss" or "Ms." even if they are old.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    novella1186 said:
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    I just read the bolded as "Cheryl, I need more coffee." Like you're telling your secretary, named Cheryl, to go get you coffee. 

    So I'm right there with you. 
    Damn it Cheryl! Where is my coffee!
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  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
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    Jen4948 said:
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    I'm just curious: what would she have advised old unmarried women to use?  Presumably they would be "Miss" or "Ms." even if they are old.
    Ms. 

    Basically this teacher said that if you are of age to marry, but don't really want people to identify you by marital status, it's Ms. Incidentally, she was such a person, so I think that's why she took issue with being called Miss or Mrs. (since 3rd graders don't necessarily know the distinction).
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    IME, Miss is typically only used for minors or tacked onto a first name for use by children. For example, a woman teaching Sunday school might be referred to as "Miss Sue."
    image
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    Knottie29408529 said:
    I use Ms. for anyone over the age of 18.   Miss sounds so young to me.  
    This.

    Except if someone is married and you know for a fact that they prefer "Mrs".
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  • peachy13peachy13 member
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    Thanks all! 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Either title is technically correct.  If you know that someone has a strong preference, use that.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • Knottie45547263Knottie45547263 member
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    It depends on the preference of one you are addressing it to. I was often offended when mail came to me as Ms. "Ms." feels old lady living alone with 100 cats I wasn't old and I'm not divorced. I preferred "Miss". 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Knottie45547263 said:
    It depends on the preference of one you are addressing it to. I was often offended when mail came to me as Ms. "Ms." feels old lady living alone with 100 cats I wasn't old and I'm not divorced. I preferred "Miss". 
    Interesting reason for your choice.  The title Ms. was not used until the 1970's women's movement took hold.  Most older women do not like the title because they were not taught to use it when they were younger.  It has no age connotation.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    Knottie45547263 said:
    It depends on the preference of one you are addressing it to. I was often offended when mail came to me as Ms. "Ms." feels old lady living alone with 100 cats I wasn't old and I'm not divorced. I preferred "Miss". 
    Interesting.  As an adult, I always prefered Ms.  Miss sounds young and I don't address anyone like that unless they are under 18.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015
    JoanE2012 said:
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    Interesting.  As an adult, I always prefered Ms.  Miss sounds young and I don't address anyone like that unless they are under 18.


    _Boxes_

    I agree too.   When I graduated college/started working in the professional world, I stopped using Miss.    Miss projected this idea that I was young and naive.  I started using Ms. 

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Miss sounds young?  Huh?  Older maiden ladies in the south have been called "Miss Scarlett" for as long as anybody can remember.
    There is NO AGE LIMIT to the title Miss!  It is entirely personal preference. 
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    CMGragain said:
    Miss sounds young?  Huh?  Older maiden ladies in the south have been called "Miss Scarlett" for as long as anybody can remember.
    There is NO AGE LIMIT to the title Miss!  It is entirely personal preference. 
    No one in my social circle is called Miss unless they are under 18.  Maybe it would be different if we lived in the south.  But we don't.  That's our preference.  ;)
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015
    JoanE2012 said:
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    No one in my social circle is called Miss unless they are under 18.  Maybe it would be different if we lived in the south.  But we don't.  That's our preference.  ;)
    I think it might be a North vs. South thing.  I grew up in the North and Miss is definitely used to describe someone young.    
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    CMGragain said:

    Miss sounds young?  Huh?  Older maiden ladies in the south have been called "Miss Scarlett" for as long as anybody can remember.
    There is NO AGE LIMIT to the title Miss!  It is entirely personal preference. 

    Yup. Miss sounds young. Of course there's no age limit and it's a personal preference, but personally Miss sounds really young to me. I only hear it used for little girls and ballet teachers.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    CMGragain said:
    Miss sounds young?  Huh?  Older maiden ladies in the south have been called "Miss Scarlett" for as long as anybody can remember.
    There is NO AGE LIMIT to the title Miss!  It is entirely personal preference. 
    Why are you yelling?



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  • banana468banana468 member
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    CMGragain said:
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    Interesting reason for your choice.  The title Ms. was not used until the 1970's women's movement took hold.  Most older women do not like the title because they were not taught to use it when they were younger.  It has no age connotation.
    This isn't entirely true.  The term is a few hundred years old but fell out of favor.   It began to be popular again in the 70s.   
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    Sure, Miss technically has no age limit, but that is not how the term has evolved in our current society. Most use it to refer to younger women, or women who are involved in teaching children. 

    Not that Miss would be wrong to use, but I'd go with Ms. as it covers both Miss and Mrs.

    There have also been several surveys done that show that married individuals get treated with more respect in various aspects (such as the workplace), so I can see how people, namely women, as men are nearly always Mr., would prefer to use Ms. if unmarried as it's could refer to Mrs. versus a blantant "Miss". 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Viczaesar said:
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    Why are you yelling?
    Because I have posted this sooooo many times!
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    CMGragain said:
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    Because I have posted this sooooo many times!
    So?  All of us have posted the same thing many, many times.



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  • emmiejayneemmiejayne member
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    I don't know what the proper ettiquette is but I always say Ms. if unsure.  I hate being called Miss.
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