What's the worst thing that can happen before a wedding...?

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

We attended a beautiful wedding this weekend-- great food, etiquette-approved, happy couple that looked so in love.

But.

On Friday afternoon, we learned that the bride had been brutally mugged earlier in the week. It makes me sick to even think about. I know people who have had their belongings demanded by someone threatening them (think Carrie and her strappy sandals in S&TC) but my friend was punched in the face several times and had everything taken (she wasn't wearing her E-ring at least, so didn't lose it).

The assailant hasn't been caught yet. I think the bride's MUA worked wonders and what blackness and swelling couldn't be completely hidden, I think her photographer can easily edit out from official photos. She looked beautiful and radiant. I think people really celebrated the wedding and their love and didn't let the situation distract or take away from the celebration.

Of all things to go through. It's just so scary, and so wrong.

lyndausvi · June 2015

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

emmaaa · June 2015

Wow. That's so awful and scary! I'm glad she is okay other than the brusing.

The day of our wedding, DH and I had just finished taking our pre-wedding pictures. The wedding was at 5 and it was 3:45 at this point. I made a comment aboutt he marriage license and then we realized it was in our car. 45 minutes away. At the hotel we were staying that night. Luckily DH's aunt and uncle are awesome and went to get it but they were late. They walked in right after I walked down the aisle and sat in the back. I was so thankful they could do that for us.

novella1186 · June 2015

Oh wow. That poor girl, that had to be so scary.

When I was in grad school, a girl in my cohort was getting married. 3 days before her wedding, she checked into the hospital with severe abdominal pain and was told her appendix might burst and she needed emergency surgery. On the plus side, it didn't happen like the day before or the day of, so she still made it to her wedding. She said it was really painful the entire wedding day, though.

redheadbride15 · June 2015

I'd say being left at the alter would be the worst thing that could happen...

But wow, the story about your friend is terrifying! I'm glad that the wedding was such a wonderful success despite the incident.

beachyone15 · June 2015

Yikes! The only crazy wedding story I have is the one I attended recently with DH. All of the groomsmen and a few other friends (me and DH) went out after the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. DH and I left at a decent hour because we were tired and knew we would be attending this couple's wedding the next day. The groom and groomsmen stayed at the bar. Unfortunately they drank too much and tried to drive home (this still makes me sick to think about what COULD have happened). The groom got home safely but two of the groomsmen were pulled over and arrested. They spent the night in jail and only one was released in time for the wedding. Even though all of this happened, the bride and groom were still happy to be married. The whole wedding day I was thinking, thank God the groom made it.

ShesSoCold · June 2015

I think you all know about my wedding and my mother. That was obviously terrible but she did make it to the wedding.

The day before my brother's wedding, my SIL was cutting prairie grass for the ceremony and damn near cut her left middle and ring fingers off. I think they wanted to do surgery but just gave her stitches since the wedding was the next day. She had this huge bandage on all day and took it off for the ceremony only. She was determined to get the wedding band on. She couldn't even drink at the bar she paid for because of the pain killers and other meds she was on. We still joke that she could have just said something if she didn't want to marry him - she didn't have to cut her ring finger off.

Edited for typo.

Also edited to add that while it wasn't the wedding we'd planned for two years, our wedding itself went really really well. Anyone who didn't already know my mom was sick wouldn't have known from looking at her. Also ETA that yes, while it didn't ruin the wedding, I'd say what happened to OP's friend is pretty fucking terrible. Poor girl. That's horrible.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

I think Lynda makes the right point that short of someone not showing up or dying, the wedding's only ruined if you want it to be ruined.

I was really happy to see the couple just looking so thrilled to be married and enjoying the time with the family and friends. From what I was told, what happened to the bride was horrific. A few people were worried the focus would be less on the marriage and more on her situation, but it wasn't. Wedding definitely was not ruined, and if anything, just really shows the "sickness and health" vow is very real and important!

anjemon · June 2015

Oof. Sorry about your friend.

While someone dying or being left at the altar would be the worst, I think something like what your friend went through would be a very close second. She was likely in pain all day which distracted her from all the other happy feelings. And every time she looks at the pictures she'll remember.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

ShesSoCold, that lawn story makes me gag. I'm glad folks can joke about that but I have a weakness for blood and guts. Ugh!!

Out of curiosity, has she fully healed since then?

ShesSoCold · June 2015

thisismynickname said:

ShesSoCold, that lawn story makes me gag. I'm glad folks can joke about that but I have a weakness for blood and guts. Ugh!!

Out of curiosity, has she fully healed since then?

Oh it was horrible. I'm the same way and I accidentally saw a picture of her finger after she cut it. I can still picture it almost three years later. I think she's healed pretty well. There's obviously some big scars but I think she's like 90% normal with both fingers' motion and stuff. She said at the ER they wanted her to come back the next day to see if she needed surgery and she's like, "uhh no my freaking wedding is tomorrow". I felt terrible for her.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

emmaaa said:

Wow. That's so awful and scary! I'm glad she is okay other than the brusing.

The day of our wedding, DH and I had just finished taking our pre-wedding pictures. The wedding was at 5 and it was 3:45 at this point. I made a comment aboutt he marriage license and then we realized it was in our car. 45 minutes away. At the hotel we were staying that night. Luckily DH's aunt and uncle are awesome and went to get it but they were late. They walked in right after I walked down the aisle and sat in the back. I was so thankful they could do that for us.

My FMIL also forgot her marriage license at home 45 years ago this past Saturday. I believe an Uncle also went back to pick it up, but I don't think they were too far from home.

This is one thing I THINK I'm going to remember, but I'm going to laugh if I don't- we'll be continuing a Feeley family tradition I guess.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

emmaaa said:

Wow. That's so awful and scary! I'm glad she is okay other than the brusing.

The day of our wedding, DH and I had just finished taking our pre-wedding pictures. The wedding was at 5 and it was 3:45 at this point. I made a comment aboutt he marriage license and then we realized it was in our car. 45 minutes away. At the hotel we were staying that night. Luckily DH's aunt and uncle are awesome and went to get it but they were late. They walked in right after I walked down the aisle and sat in the back. I was so thankful they could do that for us.

My FMIL also forgot her marriage license at home 45 years ago this past Saturday. I believe an Uncle also went back to pick it up, but I don't think they were too far from home.

This is one thing I THINK I'm going to remember, but I'm going to laugh if I don't- we'll be continuing a Feeley family tradition I guess.

Our Reverend required us to give him the marriage license before the ceremony (like, days before. A week before). That helps a lot! Heck, you're paying them to officiate, so I like paying them to take responsibility for that all-important piece of paper too!

NowIamMrsKlein · June 2015

Well, to be a huge downer, my friend passed away in a car accident the evening before we were all heading to Mexico for her wedding. Obviously that is the absolute extreme 'worst thing that could happen'

The groom asked us to all keep our travel plans, he stayed behind to obviously deal with the logisitics. He actually still ended up coming to mexico a few days later, and we scattered her ashes there.

I thought it was really brave of him, obviously it was super hard on everyone, but as he pointed out when he was trying to convince us to still go 'I'd rather be in mexico, surrounded by my closest friends and family, away from it all, than sitting in the house we shared, alone'

I think it really helped him and all of us cope with the tragedy.

redheadbride15 · June 2015

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Well, to be a huge downer, my friend passed away in a car accident the evening before we were all heading to Mexico for her wedding. Obviously that is the absolute extreme 'worst thing that could happen'

The groom asked us to all keep our travel plans, he stayed behind to obviously deal with the logisitics. He actually still ended up coming to mexico a few days later, and we scattered her ashes there.

I thought it was really brave of him, obviously it was super hard on everyone, but as he pointed out when he was trying to convince us to still go 'I'd rather be in mexico, surrounded by my closest friends and family, away from it all, than sitting in the house we shared, alone'

I think it really helped him and all of us cope with the tragedy.

Gosh, this is a really tragic story. I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing, though, because I think it's important to help keep everything in perspective. As long as you & your FI make it safely to the venue and exchange vows then that's as perfect a wedding as anyone needs. Everything else is superfluous. By these criteria my wedding was perfect, and I am extraordinarily grateful.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Well, to be a huge downer, my friend passed away in a car accident the evening before we were all heading to Mexico for her wedding. Obviously that is the absolute extreme 'worst thing that could happen'

The groom asked us to all keep our travel plans, he stayed behind to obviously deal with the logisitics. He actually still ended up coming to mexico a few days later, and we scattered her ashes there.

I thought it was really brave of him, obviously it was super hard on everyone, but as he pointed out when he was trying to convince us to still go 'I'd rather be in mexico, surrounded by my closest friends and family, away from it all, than sitting in the house we shared, alone'

I think it really helped him and all of us cope with the tragedy.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I do agree keeping the plans was a brave thing to do, and scattering ashes there is... the word lovely comes to mind, but feels weird to say.

CMGragain · June 2015

Ew! Depressing thread.
Remember that lovely bride who's FMIL went missing just before her wedding in Florida? FMIL's body was later found. We all prayed for those people.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

CMGragain said:

Ew! Depressing thread.
Remember that lovely bride who's FMIL went missing just before her wedding in Florida? FMIL's body was later found. We all prayed for those people.

OMG! I do remember the missing part and never heard they found the body. How horrible!

Yes, a depressing thread, sorry. I'm just still in shock over what happened to my friend and felt the need to share.

NowIamMrsKlein · June 2015

While depressing, I do think it is helpful to people to realize that there are a lot worse things than the flowers being the wrong colour, or your bridesmaids shoes not matching, or rain. I think it is actually a nice reminder that at the end of the day, being able to call each other husband and wife, wife and wife, husband and husband etc means that your day was a success. And to stop fretting over the little things:)

luckya23 · June 2015

I've been in a really bad place wedding-wise for the last couple weeks, and last week was the worst with the passing of my dog. Thanks for the reminders that it could be so much worse, and hopefully I can start focusing on the excitement soon.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

luckya23 said:

I've been in a really bad place wedding-wise for the last couple weeks, and last week was the worst with the passing of my dog. Thanks for the reminders that it could be so much worse, and hopefully I can start focusing on the excitement soon.

Shoot, boxes.

The loss of a pet is so hard. Take all the time to grieve that you need. << hugs >>

lyndausvi · June 2015

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3125166/How-hysterical-bride-let-blood-curdling-scream-Waldorf-Astoria-cancelled-wedding-uncle-accidentally-shot-guest.html

Okay, this would ruin a wedding too

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

lyndausvi said:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3125166/How-hysterical-bride-let-blood-curdling-scream-Waldorf-Astoria-cancelled-wedding-uncle-accidentally-shot-guest.html

Okay, this would ruin a wedding too

I'm assuming she lost all her deposits for the million dollar wedding. That would make me scream too.

lyndausvi · June 2015

thisismynickname said:

lyndausvi said:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3125166/How-hysterical-bride-let-blood-curdling-scream-Waldorf-Astoria-cancelled-wedding-uncle-accidentally-shot-guest.html

Okay, this would ruin a wedding too

I'm assuming she lost all her deposits for the million dollar wedding. That would make me scream too.

Since it was the day off I bet she lost more then just deposits.

CMGragain · June 2015

Maybe we should start requiring metal detectors at weddings?

Jen4948 · June 2015

lyndausvi said:

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

How about rape? That's a hell of a lot more than "an inconvenience" or "kind-of sucks."

banana468 · June 2015

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

How about rape? That's a hell of a lot more than "an inconvenience" or "kind-of sucks."

Then you could also say if either party was being violently assaulted it could prevent them from being married.

I think you're REALLY trying to think of the most 'out there' reasons for the sake of the absurd.

@lyndausvi, how would this sort of situation work at your DH's place of business if he's prepared with food to host a $1,000,000 event? Like, logistically, what do you do when the event is cancelled within hours of it taking place?

VulgarGirl · June 2015

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

How about rape? That's a hell of a lot more than "an inconvenience" or "kind-of sucks."

Like just rape in genreal? Yeah rape is bad. Or if like one of them gets raped? Or if one of them rapes someone else or their partner?

Did you just think "I know I'll say the word rape and stir shit up"?

Also bad would be if one of the couple went on a murdering spree before hand. That'd be bad.

blabla89 · June 2015

VulgarGirl said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

How about rape? That's a hell of a lot more than "an inconvenience" or "kind-of sucks."

Like just rape in genreal? Yeah rape is bad. Or if like one of them gets raped? Or if one of them rapes someone else or their partner?

Did you just think "I know I'll say the word rape and stir shit up"?

Also bad would be if one of the couple went on a murdering spree before hand. That'd be bad.

But that would be the true test of their wedding party! You know, whether they can hide a body AND they like weddings.

novella1186 · June 2015

WTF is going on today? Free hugs and vodka, all around!

lyndausvi · June 2015

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

One or both of them dying, forced to be in the hospital or can not get to the actual wedding for some reason.

Everything else would be an inconvenience or kind-of sucks, but not ruin anything unless you make want it to be ruined.

How about rape? That's a hell of a lot more than "an inconvenience" or "kind-of sucks."

Then you could also say if either party was being violently assaulted it could prevent them from being married.

I think you're REALLY trying to think of the most 'out there' reasons for the sake of the absurd.

@lyndausvi, how would this sort of situation work at your DH's place of business if he's prepared with food to host a $1,000,000 event? Like, logistically, what do you do when the event is cancelled within hours of it taking place?

::rolling eyes at Jen's comment::

@banana468 - good question. We have a $1million dollar wedding coming up in later in the summer. However, the food is actually a small part of the budget. Yeah, it sounds odd.

In the case of the wedding in Aug, they are renting EVERY dish, plate, fork, glass etc. They have tents, they have transportation, then have custom linens made, lord knows how much in flowers. They are hosting a golf outing. They are hiring 5 guys whose sole job is to take care of the rented plates, glasses and silverware. Yep, after we clear the table we give these guys the plates and they will sort and repack the items to be sent back to the rental place.

All those things add up. They are still spending a lot, it's just not a large portion of the budget.

Anyway, DH and his staff start prepping days early. They often sear off the steaks in the morning for an evening wedding. So some stuff will be wasted.

Some stuff will be able to be reused for something else. For example, DH would be able to take say mashed potatoes and turn them into croquettes for a special in the dining room. The staff would be feed well that day. The staff meals would also be upgraded for a few days.

We live in a small town (only 5,000 people). We do not have much of homeless population. I'm not sure there is even a soup kitchen. So in our case, there isn't really a place to donate the food too. A place like the Waldorf would have places to donate food that can't be used for another purpose. Places like the Waldorf might even have an event in a day or so later that has similar menu they can use the already prepped food for.

What's the worst thing that can happen before a wedding...?

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