Catholic Weddings

Wedding music between Catholics and Lutherans

Hello!
I am Catholic and my fiance is Lutheran. After a long discussion, we decided to marry in his church and I've started my religion classes. However, my mother used to be the singer at our Catholic church so I grew up on all Catholic hymns. Does anyone know of any Catholic songs that the Lutheran church will allow? I want some of the music to be familiar to me on the big day since music has been such a big part of my life! It is a WELS Lutheran church.
Appreciate any help!! :)
Julie

Re: Wedding music between Catholics and Lutherans

  • That's really a question for the Lutheran church. Also, there's such a vast variety of church music that is considered familiar to people. Some like the old hymns, some are more familiar with the songs written more recently. Some of the old hymns are crossover.

    A concerning question is are you getting a dispensation to get married in the Lutheran church, and if not, do you know  that your marriage won't be considered valid and you can't receive the sacraments anymore?
  • A good place to start might be to browse through one of the official Lutheran hymnals. I'm sure you could order one on Amazon or get one through your Lutheran church. There are also sites like this one: although I'm not sure how authoritative it is:  
    http://www.projectwittenberg.org/etext/hymnals/tlh/

    Anecdotally, I grew up in the Episcopal church (which I think overlaps somewhat with the Lutheran church) and was pleasantly surprised to find, when I converted to Catholicism, that some of my childhood favorites were Catholic hymns too. So I imagine you might be able to find some you like! 

    I would second agapecarrie's question, though: if your Catholic faith is important to you, it's very important to have your ducks in a row as far as getting permission to be married in the Lutheran Church (you mention religion classes though, so I don't know if that means you plan to convert). 
  • First - you need to talk to a Catholic Priest and not just between yourselves for some of the specifics regarding your status with the faith going forward on all things marriage, prep, and everything else.  If you're leaving the faith, what difference does it make if a song is "Catholic" or not?  If you're not planning to leave the faith, you should also discuss this with your priest for the steps to take.  It's not unusual that people opt to have two ceremonies the day-of, or you do the steps for a dispensation, etc. but you ultimately need to make these decisions for yourselves.

    No matter whether you get married in a Catholic or a Lutheran or Church of the Banana Banana's you're going to have to choose music within what is allowed at that particular parish which you need to be in contact with the Music Director for that parish.  Flip through some hymnals at the church you're planning to get married in for ideas.  There are songs frequently sung at my MIL's parish that aren't allowed at the parish we got married at, that's why you need to meet directly with the person in charge of music for weddings where you plan to get married...

  • The church doesn't allow 2 religious ceremonies. If a catholic wants to have a valid marriage in the church, they either get married in the Catholic Church, or the get a dispensation from form to marry elsewhere. (Which is still figuratively "in the church")
  • The church doesn't allow 2 religious ceremonies. If a catholic wants to have a valid marriage in the church, they either get married in the Catholic Church, or the get a dispensation from form to marry elsewhere. (Which is still figuratively "in the church")
    Typically when I've heard of this being done - they do the Catholic ceremony first (i.e. in the eyes of the church the only "wedding", the vow renewal being at the second) is the point of what I was getting at...
  • MesmrEwe said:
    The church doesn't allow 2 religious ceremonies. If a catholic wants to have a valid marriage in the church, they either get married in the Catholic Church, or the get a dispensation from form to marry elsewhere. (Which is still figuratively "in the church")
    Typically when I've heard of this being done - they do the Catholic ceremony first (i.e. in the eyes of the church the only "wedding", the vow renewal being at the second) is the point of what I was getting at...
    This is a terrible suggestion. If you want to be in good standing with eh Catholic church you need to make a tough choice. Not have a pretend ceremony later in the day. It is rude to your guests and putting your vision before your faith. Vow renewals are not for couples who want to pretend to get married in a location outside what their faith prescribes. If you less to your guests about the fact that you were married earlier in the day it is even worse. 

    Be an adult, make your choice, and stand by it. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Not to pile on, I also just want to throw in there that you (general you, not necessarily OP) want to be very careful about counting on a dispensation, getting a convalidation, etc. None of those things are guaranteed and the church will not grant them if they feel that you are not doing it for the right reason. 

    Likewise, with the whole 2 ceremonies in one day plan, that's also going to be frowned upon by the church. There's a pretty serious interview and prep process involved that is designed to make sure you understand and support the church's view of marriage as a sacrament given to one another in the church community, and if the priest got any whiff that a couple was planning something like that I suspect they would not perform the Catholic ceremony. None of which matters unless your faith matters, but if being a Catholic in good-standing matters then yes, there is a choice which has to be made. 
  • My older brother was married in a Protestant church with a Catholic priest on the altar. 

     I believe that they hadn't counted on the objections of our grandmothers to a protestant ceremony alone.  Pretty sure that was a good catch by our dad ;)

    IMO, married is married but follow your feelings




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