Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Unique of Offbeat Unity Ceremony Ideas?

Hey Ladies,

My FI & I are looking for unique Unity Ceremony Ideas. We are having a "gothic romance" themed wedding, & want to think of something offbeat or different other than the lighting of the candle, or sand in a jar idea. 

One brief idea we had was each taking a color of paint (red & black since those are our colors) & each painting a half to a heart (or something different that would be easy to paint in front of everyone) & using the canvas later as a guest book. 

Anyone else have any good ideas? 

Re: Unique of Offbeat Unity Ceremony Ideas?

  • Lemme be real with you.

    There comes a point with unity ceremonies where they go from being unity ceremonies, to being OMG LOOK HOW DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE WE ARE. If something has meaning and significance to you, it will come to you. You're already having a Goth wedding. Thats different! You don't need to go over the top with a unity ceremony as well. You don't even need a unity ceremony! Every aspect of your wedding doesn't have to be about showing how unique, offbeat and cool you are. 
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  • We did a cocktail unity ceremony. Well it was a cocktail served in shot glasses to make it quick. And that worked for us.

    The thing about a unity ceremony is if you do one it should be one that says something about you as a couple. If you can't come up with anything, or the stuff you see out there isn't "really you" then just skip it. 

    When I read "unity cocktail" I was in. Sand, candles, putting things in boxes, no thank you. But cocktails? I'm fucking in. I don't even need to know why just give me a fucking cocktail please. 

    I wouldn't think painting in the middle of your ceremony is a great idea. And who is gonna go and set it up as a guest book? Will the paint be dry enough by then? Are you 100% sure you won't get paint on you (I always get paint on me)? We did a painting as our guest book, I painted it weeks before hand though. And it worked out great and I'm really glad we did it. But I would not have wanted to do that during the ceremony.
  • KatWAG said:
    rrroxanne said:
    Hey Ladies,

    My FI & I are looking for unique Unity Ceremony Ideas. We are having a "gothic romance" themed wedding, & want to think of something offbeat or different other than the lighting of the candle, or sand in a jar idea. 

    One brief idea we had was each taking a color of paint (red & black since those are our colors) & each painting a half to a heart (or something different that would be easy to paint in front of everyone) & using the canvas later as a guest book. 

    Anyone else have any good ideas? 
    I just cant.
    Then why are you replying? 
  • rrroxanne said:


    KatWAG said:


    rrroxanne said:

    Hey Ladies,

    My FI & I are looking for unique Unity Ceremony Ideas. We are having a "gothic romance" themed wedding, & want to think of something offbeat or different other than the lighting of the candle, or sand in a jar idea. 

    One brief idea we had was each taking a color of paint (red & black since those are our colors) & each painting a half to a heart (or something different that would be easy to paint in front of everyone) & using the canvas later as a guest book. 

    Anyone else have any good ideas? 

    I just cant.

    Then why are you replying? 

    Because you asked for ideas and responses. You're not entitled to have everyone rubber stamp your ideas and jump and down with glee over them. Responses that don't do that are valid as well as ones that do.
  • I went to a wedding last year where they did something similar and it was the stupidest f***ing thing I've ever seen.  Neither of them were artists, so it wasn't even "representative" of them as a couple.  Seriously, our friends still talk about dumb it was. 

    P.S.  I'm not hating on this particular unity thing - I hate all "unity ceremonies" of this nature - but the above was the reaction of about 90% of the guests.  Your wedding is a unity ceremony.

  • Casadena said:

    I went to a wedding last year where they did something similar and it was the stupidest f***ing thing I've ever seen.  Neither of them were artists, so it wasn't even "representative" of them as a couple.  Seriously, our friends still talk about dumb it was. 

    P.S.  I'm not hating on this particular unity thing - I hate all "unity ceremonies" of this nature - but the above was the reaction of about 90% of the guests.  Your wedding is a unity ceremony.

    Thanks, I actually appreciate this! This is great advice. I think I'm trying too hard to think of something cool & unique, & this is great. I certainily wouldn't want people to talk about how stupid my idea was after my wedding. 
  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    rrroxanne said:
    KatWAG said:
    rrroxanne said:
    Hey Ladies,

    My FI & I are looking for unique Unity Ceremony Ideas. We are having a "gothic romance" themed wedding, & want to think of something offbeat or different other than the lighting of the candle, or sand in a jar idea. 

    One brief idea we had was each taking a color of paint (red & black since those are our colors) & each painting a half to a heart (or something different that would be easy to paint in front of everyone) & using the canvas later as a guest book. 

    Anyone else have any good ideas? 
    I just cant.
    Then why are you replying? 
    Because there is nothing unique about a unity ceremony. And rolled my eyes so hard it hurt at the idea of your guests having to sit and watch you paint. 

    And a gothic theme for a wedding? Really? Why the theme? The theme should be love and marriage. 
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  • How about "marriage" as a unique and offbeat unity ceremony?  "Unique" means 'one-of-a-kind.' So the two of you getting married in the location where you're getting married with the people who are watching you get married already makes it Unique.  Done.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    First, I really dislike theme weddings.  It is a wedding, not a prom.
    Second, what do you mean by a Gothic romance theme?  Gothic novels are usually filled with secret wives hidden in the attic, murderous husbands, or dastardly villains.

    There have been millions of weddings in the past ten years.  If you want something "unique"  (I hate that word!) then maybe it isn't appropriate?
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  • Why are people posting their opinions of someone's unity ceremony/wedding when all they are asking for are ideas?

    How about each of you drawing a new branch in a tree? Or 2 trees one for each of your families could be drawn (picturing black on white, bare- branched tees) and you each draw a branch and have the branches entwine. Symbolic and even if you don't have artistic ability, branches are fairly simple.

    Best wishes for a beautiful ceremony that represents your uniqueness as a couple and many years of happiness together!


  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    Why are people posting their opinions of someone's unity ceremony/wedding when all they are asking for are ideas?
    Because nobody is entitled to have bad ideas validated.

    Also, it's not appropriate to "all they are asking for is ideas" here.  The very act of posting is indeed a request for our opinions.  Neither you nor anyone else has any right to expect us to withhold them regardless of what the OP or any other person posts.
  • You don't need a unity candle, sand jar, etc etc because the wedding itself is a unity ceremony. If you're dead set on having one, what about planting a tree?


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  • hellohkb said:
    You don't need a unity candle, sand jar, etc etc because the wedding itself is a unity ceremony. If you're dead set on having one, what about planting a tree?
    Maybe do a dead tree to stick to the gothic theme... jk. 

    But I agree with PPs you don't need a unity ceremony if you don't like the candles and sand. If you want something besides that it should be something obvious that jumps out at you and it doesn't need to fit a theme. My fiance and I are actually doing a tree planting unity ceremony because trees, specifically the red maple tree, means something for us as a couple. 

    I also agree with PPs that weddings don't need a theme. Like if you want gothic colors go for it, black and red are beautiful but it doesn't need to gothic romance which I feel represents more like murder and lust than marriage.
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  • I like the idea of the two of you doing the painting and using it as your guest book for people to sign (using red & black sharpies or a metallic one would look great), but not sure it would be great logistically for the ceremony. Usually as part of the unity ceremony the mom's are involved. How would you incorporate your mom's into something like that? Now if you do the shot thing like a PP, you could have the moms bring up each a portion of the drink and then you mix it into one container to mix & then pour into glasses to drink
  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    we did something that you might say is unique - we tied together running shoes. Sort of weird, I know.  Running is a big part of us as a couple and when we met with the officiant she asked about a unity thing and we both said we didn't really like the idea of a candle or sand and didn't really need one.  She said well there are things you can do besides that, and I jokingly said oh can we tie some shoes together. Both the officiant and now-husband jumped all over it. I was like uhhh that's kind of weird tying a shoe? Even as of a week before the wedding I wasn't sure about doing it but I decided since he really wanted it we would do it.

    As it turned out the officiant wrote some awesome words around the symbolizing of tying the knot and the knot being loose and not strong but when you pull it together it is strong, etc. H totally loved it and I had many comments afterwards saying how guests liked it because it was different, it had a good meaning, yet also was "us".

  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Two thoughts.

    1) I can't help you at all with the unity thing because I've only seen it done once and had no idea what was going on. Never heard of it until recently, don't really get it.

    2) Gothic themed? Can I come???

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    Wrong post. Sorry.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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