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Not announcing wedding party? What to do about parents?

blushingbride8888blushingbride8888 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Reception Forum
I have a very traditional family whose last wedding was in the 90s. I am not an uber traditional bride. The only things we aren't doing are the garter toss, bouquet toss and head table. Today I mentioned to my mom I'm thinking of not announcing wedding party because Fi and I think the majority of them will be uncomfortable and she just about lost her mind about how untraditional I am and wanted to know why we're even having a wedding party. My questions are: 1. How common is this? 2. Would it be weird to still announce parents and grandparents? Help!

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Re: Not announcing wedding party? What to do about parents?

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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We had bridal party and parents announced.  We didn't make it a big production, they just walked in after their name was called, few seconds from door to seat, and that was it.   While I've never been to a wedding that hasn't announced bridal party/parents, it's definitely not a requirement.  You could always mention them in the program though too.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I have only actually been to one wedding with people announced.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    At my daughter's wedding, the POG, my parents, my husband and I were introduced from our reception tables before the wedding party members were introduced. The introductions were simple and quick. Then DD and her husband were announced and had their first dance.

    1. I assumed introductions were common practice because grandparents, parents, wp and B & G have been announced at every wedding I've attended. 

    2. It would be fine to introduce the grandparents and parents even if you skip the wp. 

                       
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    blushingbride889 said:
    I have a very traditional family whose last wedding was in the 90s. I am not an uber traditional bride. The only things we aren't doing are the garter toss, bouquet toss and head table. Today I mentioned to my mom I'm thinking of not announcing wedding party because Fi and I think the majority of them will be uncomfortable and she just about lost her mind about how untraditional I am and wanted to know why we're even having a wedding party. My questions are: 1. How common is this? 2. Would it be weird to still announce parents and grandparents? Help!
    It is not a tradition to announce everybody at a wedding reception.  This is rather new.  At my daughter's wedding, the MC simply announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom!"
    Tell you mother that everyone will know that she is the mother of the bride.  A truly traditional wedding is very small and features a cake and punch reception in the afternoon.  These big weddings weren't a thing until the late 1960s, thanks to the wedding industry.
    Have the wedding that YOU and your FI want to have!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    CMGragain said:
    blushingbride889 said:
    I have a very traditional family whose last wedding was in the 90s. I am not an uber traditional bride. The only things we aren't doing are the garter toss, bouquet toss and head table. Today I mentioned to my mom I'm thinking of not announcing wedding party because Fi and I think the majority of them will be uncomfortable and she just about lost her mind about how untraditional I am and wanted to know why we're even having a wedding party. My questions are: 1. How common is this? 2. Would it be weird to still announce parents and grandparents? Help!
    It is not a tradition to announce everybody at a wedding reception.  This is rather new.  At my daughter's wedding, the MC simply announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom!"
    Tell you mother that everyone will know that she is the mother of the bride.  A truly traditional wedding is very small and features a cake and punch reception in the afternoon.  These big weddings weren't a thing until the late 1960s, thanks to the wedding industry
    Have the wedding that YOU and your FI want to have!
    No parents were formally introduced at either my daughter or son's weddings. My daughter did have her bridal party introduced. My son had no introductions. As hosts, my husband introduced us in his welcome/thank you toast.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    At all the weddings I've been to, only the couple were introduced.  And they were "traditional" weddings.

    I'd stop talking to your mother about your plans if you don't want to announce anyone and her ability to comprehend that "traditional" doesn't mean "required" is so non-existent.

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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    About 99% of the weddings I've attended announced parents and bridal party. It must be popular in my circle. This has been done for the last 10+ years. But I think you're fine to skip it. You could just announce yourselves in if you want. Or you could announce your parents right before you. I've honestly never seen the grandparents introduced. But honestly, this is one of those things you should just do what you feel comfortable with. 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My mom was yelling at me just this weekend about how untraditional I am with my yardwork; I don't want weeds pulled from flower beds, I don't want a perfect lawn, I don't want every shrub trimmed down to the same size as every other shrub.  She started "weeding" a flower bed and I yelled at her because the "weeds" are holding in my dirt so as to not cause erosion and keep the good soil intact.  We've agreed to disagree about yard maintenance.  I suggest you do the same with your mother about weddings.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    With most of the bazillion weddings I have been in or attended, the entire wedding party was announced.  In some of those weddings, the parents were also announced.

    As a guests, I really think this is a silly and pointless tradition.  I know who your parents are because they were seated last/walked you down the aisle.  I also know who your WP is since they are wearing specific dresses/suits and they walked down the aisle, then back up it again.  None of these people need to be announced.  Just get your butts into the reception so we can have dinner and start the dancing!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited June 2015
    I don't think I've been to a wedding where the WP (maids/g-me) wasn't announced.  Ironically,most of the weddings I've been to have been more for people I don't know super well (as someone's date or a co-worker); knowing the names of the bridal party was not relevant to me.  I'm not likely to walk up to them and start talking to them; I don't know them.

    Of all of those, only one WP announced the parents.  I didn't know them so it was slightly helpful to hear their names so I could congratulate them, but I've done it w/o.

    You walk up to them and say, "Hello, I'm FeeleyToBe.  I work with your daughter.  Just wanted to offer my congratulations and I hope you enjoy the rest of the day."  Don't even have to know their name. 



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    kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I see no need to have a grand entrance or announce people.  The DJ "announced" us but that is it.  The parents were all seated during the ceremony so people saw who they were and their names were in the program.
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Why does your mom give a shit? Seriously. Because other weddings did it? Well still others don't do it at all, so who cares?

    The only people who got introduced at our wedding were the two of us. Everyone knew who the BMs/GMs were because they stood up front during our ceremony and they were listed in our programs. Everyone knew who our parents were because they escorted us down the aisle and were listed in the programs as "parents....."
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    blushingbride8888blushingbride8888 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks all! Appreciate your feedback. I'll hold my ground on this one. I think my family thinks I'm the "anti-bride" so you know..

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    blushingbride889 said:
    Thanks all! Appreciate your feedback. I'll hold my ground on this one. I think my family thinks I'm the "anti-bride" so you know..
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    MandyMostMandyMost member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2015
    I used the sentiment of:  "the only thing required for a wedding is a bride, a groom, and an officiant, and in some states a witness. Everything else is extra and we'll decide what we want to have". 

    I've also used: "Why do we have to do that? Because everyone else does? And if everyone else jumped of a bridge, would I have to jump too?". 


    I'm positive some of my guests thought my wedding was weird and incomplete. But others told me, or my mom who relayed it to me, that they thought it was so much fun and refreshing to not have all of the traditional stuff. For the record, we had no bouquet or garter tosses, no announcements, no group dancing of any kind, no "head table", no silly games of any kind, no photobooth, and no official bridal party. 
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    BlueBirdMBBlueBirdMB member
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    edited July 2015
    CMGragain said:
    blushingbride889 said:
    I have a very traditional family whose last wedding was in the 90s. I am not an uber traditional bride. The only things we aren't doing are the garter toss, bouquet toss and head table. Today I mentioned to my mom I'm thinking of not announcing wedding party because Fi and I think the majority of them will be uncomfortable and she just about lost her mind about how untraditional I am and wanted to know why we're even having a wedding party. My questions are: 1. How common is this? 2. Would it be weird to still announce parents and grandparents? Help!
    It is not a tradition to announce everybody at a wedding reception.  This is rather new.  At my daughter's wedding, the MC simply announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom!"
    Tell you mother that everyone will know that she is the mother of the bride.  A truly traditional wedding is very small and features a cake and punch reception in the afternoon.  These big weddings weren't a thing until the late 1960s, thanks to the wedding industry.
    Have the wedding that YOU and your FI want to have!

    Exactly.  This is a fairly new concept, not traditional at all.  I remember my grandmother telling me about the first wedding she saw like this and she said she cringed and bit her lip to keep from laughing.

    Don't do it if you don't want to.  We didn't have any introductions.  People at my wedding knew who we were for crying out loud and people don't care who the bridal party are.
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    Knottie1444428745Knottie1444428745 member
    First Comment
    Thank you for all this information and the post! Makes me feel more secure in my idea of just us as the bride and groom being introduced.
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    3679809936798099 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    do whatever makes you happy, it's your wedding and in the end it's about what the two of you want. DD2 married in '14 she had only themselves and attendants introduced (grooms mother through a fit as she expected some special speech/attention honoring her...not her day, not happening) also brides' grandmother had almost exact same fit for almost exact same reason...lol...sorry not your day(wash and repeat as needed). currently doing DD1's wedding and no one, not even wedding party, will be introduced as she deals with anxiety and doesn't need the added stress. it's about what makes you happy and works for you as a couple.  
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