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Etiquette

Are December Weddings Rude?

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Re: Are December Weddings Rude?

  • Cassie346 said:
    You can have a wedding whenever you want. I deffinately is not rude.
     
    wherearetheboxeswherearetheboxeswherearetheboxes
     
    There could be some rude days to have  wedding but the biggest rude offense would be the couple behaving rudely at declines because of the date they chose.

    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • I think December weddings are nice! I've been to three December weddings in my life--one was at the beginning of the month, which was a nice way to start out the holiday season. The other two weddings I've been to were New Year's Eve weddings (one being the millennium), and those were SO much fun! I think since your fiance is a teacher, you wouldn't be able to do early December, so maybe check out New Year's Eve or Dec 30th--something like that.  Good luck and I hope your weather holds out!!
    kimmiinthemitten
  • I'm having a December wedding. I've had a bit of a higher decline rate than I think I would have gotten if I had had it at a different time of year. Most of the declines have been from OOT family who work jobs that they cannot take time off from. I've actually only had two people make mention of the fact that the wedding is a few weeks before the holidays and that was my aunt who is a teacher and found it hard to get time off work that close to winter break (she was able to pull it off and I'm so thrilled that she'll be able to come) and my FSIL who is a hairdresser and her job doesn't allow her to take time off between November and January. It may be more difficult for guests to work their job and holiday schedules around a December wedding, but I don't, in any way, think that it's rude.
    kimmiinthemitten
  • I'm having a December wedding. I've had a bit of a higher decline rate than I think I would have gotten if I had had it at a different time of year. Most of the declines have been from OOT family who work jobs that they cannot take time off from. I've actually only had two people make mention of the fact that the wedding is a few weeks before the holidays and that was my aunt who is a teacher and found it hard to get time off work that close to winter break (she was able to pull it off and I'm so thrilled that she'll be able to come) and my FSIL who is a hairdresser and her job doesn't allow her to take time off between November and January. It may be more difficult for guests to work their job and holiday schedules around a December wedding, but I don't, in any way, think that it's rude.
    Isn't it early to be sending invitations for a december wedding? Unless I am misunderstanding here.... Also, change your username. Internet safety is important. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLostbride2b71614mollybarker11
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm having a December wedding. I've had a bit of a higher decline rate than I think I would have gotten if I had had it at a different time of year. Most of the declines have been from OOT family who work jobs that they cannot take time off from. I've actually only had two people make mention of the fact that the wedding is a few weeks before the holidays and that was my aunt who is a teacher and found it hard to get time off work that close to winter break (she was able to pull it off and I'm so thrilled that she'll be able to come) and my FSIL who is a hairdresser and her job doesn't allow her to take time off between November and January. It may be more difficult for guests to work their job and holiday schedules around a December wedding, but I don't, in any way, think that it's rude.
    Wait, what???  Do you mean actual declines as in RSVP responses, or do you mean word of mouth responses to STDs?  If it's the former, you screwed up big time.  It's June.  You shouldn't be sending your invitations until at least October, and your RSVP date shouldn't be more than a month out from your wedding.  If you just mean that people are telling you whether or not they will be attending after receiving a STD, keep in mind that a) it's JUNE and nobody can know for sure that they'll be able to attend 6 months from your wedding, and b) you still have to invite everyone you sent a STD to, regardless of whether they told you they would be able to make it or not, and you need to make sure that you can accommodate them if their plans change and they're able to attend after all.



    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostmollybarker11
  • I am a nurse and work every other weekend.  As with anytime of year if the wedding fell on my weekend off I would go.  The closer it was to Xmas the harder it would be.  This is because I have to work every other Christmas and if I am working Christmas we are planning another day to celebrate with our families.  Also, it seems everyone wants some time off during December.  To do shopping, or Christmas parties, etc.  The money would not be a problem because I know how to budget.

    With that being said... it is almost as hard for me in the summer months.  You are only allowed 1 vacation week from Memorial Day to Labor Day.  If it falls on the weekend to work then you have to trade with someone else - which has its own issues during the summer.  

    My point being.. someone will have an issue anytime of year.  My only thing is I will not go to a wedding if it is on a holiday or holiday weekend (I only get so many off).  The only time I make an exception is family and close friends.
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I am a nurse and work every other weekend.  As with anytime of year if the wedding fell on my weekend off I would go.  The closer it was to Xmas the harder it would be.  This is because I have to work every other Christmas and if I am working Christmas we are planning another day to celebrate with our families.  Also, it seems everyone wants some time off during December.  To do shopping, or Christmas parties, etc.  The money would not be a problem because I know how to budget.

    With that being said... it is almost as hard for me in the summer months.  You are only allowed 1 vacation week from Memorial Day to Labor Day.  If it falls on the weekend to work then you have to trade with someone else - which has its own issues during the summer.  

    My point being.. someone will have an issue anytime of year.  My only thing is I will not go to a wedding if it is on a holiday or holiday weekend (I only get so many off).  The only time I make an exception is family and close friends.
    FMIL is an OR nurse, and she does the OR schedule.  She has to submit her time off requests by October of the previous year so I totally understand how difficult the schedule is for nurses!  if she wants time off that she didn't request during the formal schedule period in October, she doesn't find out if it was approved until 2 weeks before!  The more important the job, the harder the schedule it seems!
    image
  • banana468 said:
    @thisismynickname:  Actually I'm trying to avoid a summer wedding because I hate sweating!  LOL  
    Are you not planning to dance? 
    Does AC not exist in Michigan? O.o


    ****Just in case boxes don't work****

    I got married 9 days ago in Michigan. The weather was low 80's, breezy, and low humidity. It was perfect. I sweated my ass off dancing, but that was in an air conditioned room and would have happened regardless. Planning ANYTHING around Michigan weather is pointless.

    I don't think a December wedding is rude per se. I am attending one December 12. Truthfully I'm not super happy about it, and if it were for anyone other than a good friend I would decline.
    kimmiinthemitten
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    @thisismynickname:  Actually I'm trying to avoid a summer wedding because I hate sweating!  LOL  
    Are you not planning to dance? 
    Does AC not exist in Michigan? O.o


    ****Just in case boxes don't work****

    I got married 9 days ago in Michigan. The weather was low 80's, breezy, and low humidity. It was perfect. I sweated my ass off dancing, but that was in an air conditioned room and would have happened regardless. Planning ANYTHING around Michigan weather is pointless.

    I don't think a December wedding is rude per se. I am attending one December 12. Truthfully I'm not super happy about it, and if it were for anyone other than a good friend I would decline.
    Congrats!!
    image
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    We had a (unintentional) December wedding.  I was hesitant at first, but we made sure there was at least one more weekend free before Christmas.  I definitely wouldn't have planned it for the weekend immediately before Christmas.  

    I think we had around 10% decline, but there was only a 4 week lead time to this date.....if we had originally planned for a December wedding and had sent STDs, I know we would've had even more attend.
  • I don't think it's rude necessarily, but as mentioned, you can't get upset if people don't attend. Particularly out of town guests who may find it too expensive to travel during that time of year, both because of the holidays and airfare which is generally higher around the holidays as well. Out of town guests may also have to contend with weather delays, which always a deterrent for me when having to travel during winter months.

    I was just invited to an out of town wedding the Saturday after Thankgiving. After seeing flight prices are already double what they normally are, I had to tell her I likely wasn't going to make it. She was pissed, which I thought was the complete wrong reaction after she planned a wedding over a holiday weekend. 
    SP29
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I don't think it's rude necessarily, but as mentioned, you can't get upset if people don't attend. Particularly out of town guests who may find it too expensive to travel during that time of year, both because of the holidays and airfare which is generally higher around the holidays as well. Out of town guests may also have to contend with weather delays, which always a deterrent for me when having to travel during winter months.

    I was just invited to an out of town wedding the Saturday after Thankgiving. After seeing flight prices are already double what they normally are, I had to tell her I likely wasn't going to make it. She was pissed, which I thought was the complete wrong reaction after she planned a wedding over a holiday weekend. 

    Yeah that's awful. I'm sorry to hear your friend reacted that way. It's always a bummer whenever anyone you invite can't attend but you can't get mad about that. Regardless of time of year, there will never be a date that works for everyone.
    image
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