Number of Bridesmaids. Is that really an issue?

missjewels02 · July 2015

So I think I already know the answer to this. I think I just need some positive reinforcement. my Bridesmaid recently quit. For reasons unknown. I can tell you what its not. its not prices because the dress is only $100. Anyway, her included I only had 3 bridesmaids and my groom has 3 groomsmen. Now i'm down to 2 including my MOH. I just don't know anyone who can replace her. The weddings a month away. I guess my question is will people be silently judging me because I don't have enough girl-friends to be bridesmaids? Should I ask a relative like my aunt to avoid any questions that might arise as to why the bridal parties uneven.

justsie · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

So I think I already know the answer to this. I think I just need some positive reinforcement. my Bridesmaid recently quit. For reasons unknown. I can tell you what its not. its not prices because the dress is only $100. Anyway, her included I only had 3 bridesmaids and my groom has 3 groomsmen. Now i'm down to 2 including my MOH. I just don't know anyone who can replace her. The weddings a month away. I guess my question is will people be silently judging me because I don't have enough girl-friends to be bridesmaids? Should I ask a relative like my aunt to avoid any questions that might arise as to why the bridal parties uneven.

First bolded: this is one of your dearest friends and you have no idea why she quit your wedding? I think you need to put your wedding aside and find out what is going on with your friend.

Second bolded: Did you ask each of your BMs what their budget was, individually and privately? $100 may not seem like a lot to you, but it could be A LOT to someone else.

To answer your question, anyone that would side eye uneven sides is rude. Don't ask someone to be a second-thought BM just because you want sides to be even. Your BMs are your nearest and dearest, not props in a wedding.

Edited because bolding is hard.

mrscomposer · July 2015

I agree with @justsie in that just because $100 isn't much to you, it may be a bit much to someone else.

Also agreeing with the 'reasons unknown' bit. She's a close enough friend that you asked her to be in your wedding party - and you haven't dropped everything to find out if she's okay? If my BFF had basically just peaced out, I'd sure as heck be finding out why - and not because I was worried about even sides.

All that to say - do not replace your friend. I would not judge you for uneven sides, but I WOULD judge you for a consolation prize bridesmaid.

missjewels02 · July 2015

You're assuming I haven't contacted her. I've called her, texted and I've facebooked. At this point I've done everything I can from my part to figure out whats the matter. She's just went radio silent on me. Whatever is the matter cant be much while her facebook status indicates she's still going out partying and clubbing every weekend. So its not like she came down with cancer and I just don't know about it. We didn't have some big tiff where she stormed off. Literally I've heard nothing for about a month.

FYI when I asked everyone to be my bridesmaids I said you're going to need at least $200. So make sure you have it. This was individual conversations that I had with them. I got the feel of who would struggle and who wouldn't. She was definitely the last person I thought would flake on me. At the end of it everyone agreed. Staying budget conscience I came in way under that. Just to be safe. She's just a selfish friend.

I asked a legitimate question because people judge you on your friends or lack thereof. So why would a wedding be any different.

STARMOON44 · July 2015

Ok, so first of all no, it does not matter how many bridesmaids you have.

But second, maybe she quit because telling people "you're going to need $200 so make sure you have it" is a total bridezilla move.

LondonLisa · July 2015

If my closest friend went radio silent, the last thing I would be thinking about is "how can I replace you"! I just cannot believe that you have actually made the effort to track her down. If my best friend went radio silent, I would be waiting outside her flat to make sure she was OK and talking through any issues.

No adult judges another adult on their number of friends.

Chill out, Sisqo, no one cares about your myspace top 8 and call your bloody friend!!

NowIAmSyp · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

You're assuming I haven't contacted her. I've called her, texted and I've facebooked. At this point I've done everything I can from my part to figure out whats the matter. She's just went radio silent on me. Whatever is the matter cant be much while her facebook status indicates she's still going out partying and clubbing every weekend. So its not like she came down with cancer and I just don't know about it. We didn't have some big tiff where she stormed off. Literally I've heard nothing for about a month.
FYI when I asked everyone to be my bridesmaids I said you're going to need at least $200. So make sure you have it. This was individual conversations that I had with them. I got the feel of who would struggle and who wouldn't. She was definitely the last person I thought would flake on me. At the end of it everyone agreed. Staying budget conscience I came in way under that. Just to be safe. She's just a selfish friend.
I asked a legitimate question because people judge you on your friends or lack thereof. So why would a wedding be any different.

I think herein (bolded) lies the problem... or at least a clue to the problem.

AddieCake · July 2015

Why would you replace her? She is your friend and a human being, not a dish that got broken.

climbingsingle · July 2015

First, you don't need to have even sides. Why would you replace her?? A bridesmaid is one of your closest friends, not a prop.

No one is going to judge you for having only two people in your wedding party. I chose to have just a MOH, and my H chose just a BM.

This ship has sailed already, but instead of telling your bridesmaids how much money they needed to have, you should have asked them their budget.

And if one of my best friends dropped off the face of the earth, I'd be banging down her door.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

So you told people how much money they had to spend on your wedding? Yeah, no.

And like Addie said, these are people. Not props. If one drops out you don't replace them. You move on with 2 BMs.

Personally I would be super concerned that one of my very good friends has just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. Priorities.

ShesSoCold · July 2015

AddieCake said:

Why would you replace her? She is your friend and a human being, not a dish that got broken.

I read this as "dick that got broken" and wondered if your H knew you'd replace him if his dick ever broke.

I need more coffee.

arrrghmatey · July 2015

First: You don't need to have even sides in your bridal party. If you have one more groomsman, a bridesmaid can be escorted by two groomsmen. You do not replace a bridesmaid.

Second: I haven't ever heard of anyone judging someone else based on how many friends they have to show off. Sounds too much like high school.

Third: If you're telling your bridesmaids that they HAVE TO HAVE $200, then that is pretty demanding and makes YOU seem like the selfish one. Not your friend. You should have asked each one of your bridesmaids individually of their budget and based it on the lowest response.

Finally: If my friend who I cared so much about to have her in my bridal party suddenly dropped out, I'd be putting my wedding aside and showing up at her place to make sure she is okay. There may be something else going on there.

So to sum up answers to your question: No, no one will be judging you if you have one less bridesmaid. It sounds like you are the one more concerned about the situation. And no, you do not replace her with someone else.

Jen4948 · July 2015

No one will judge you for not having even sides, but everyone will judge you for demanding that your bridesmaids spend sums of money that they may not be able to afford on one day in your life and not caring about what's going on in theirs, and for replacing them.

If this is someone you were close enough to that you asked them to be in your wedding party, then she is someone about whom you should find out what's going on rather than complaining because she doesn't want to be in your wedding party any more and worrying about not having enough friends.

And if you're worried about "not having enough friends" to be in your wedding party, maybe that says something about what criteria you use to measure friendship that doesn't flatter you and that you should consider changing.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I can't believe you told them they better have $200 to be in your wedding. I would have laughed in your face and walked away.

frenchiekin · July 2015

adk19 said:

I can't believe you told them they better have $200 to be in your wedding. I would have laughed in your face and walked away.

Ditto. And not because I can't afford it or don't want to spend it on your wedding (I've spent much more than that in weddings I've been in) - it's because of how rude, entitled and presumptuous it sounds. I'd rather spend my money on a bride who asked me for literally nothing but to stand next to her on her wedding day than one who is demanding that I have a certain amount of money to spend on her wedding without even asking me for a budget first.

Just be a good friend. It's really not hard.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

frenchiekin said:

adk19 said:

I can't believe you told them they better have $200 to be in your wedding. I would have laughed in your face and walked away.

Ditto. And not because I can't afford it or don't want to spend it on your wedding (I've spent much more than that in weddings I've been in) - it's because of how rude, entitled and presumptuous it sounds. I'd rather spend my money on a bride who asked me for literally nothing but to stand next to her on her wedding day than one who is demanding that I have a certain amount of money to spend on her wedding without even asking me for a budget first.

Just be a good friend. It's really not hard.

Exactly. I have plenty of money. I'm actually in a fantastic place financially right now. But if my friend said, "Hey girl, do you want to be my bridesmaid? Yes? Well, the wedding is a year away, you better have $200 to spend on it because that's what it's going to cost to be a bridesmaid." I would look at you like you're crazy, laugh, and get the fuck out of dodge. Because while I'd be willing to spend up to $120 on a dress, several rounds of drinks and dinner for each of us at a bachelorette party, travel to your wedding destination (even gas to a local wedding costs something), a overnight hotel stay, and probably at least $200 in wedding gifts, if you told me I "better have $200" I'd think you were too selfish to continue being a friend.

mrscomposer · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

You're assuming I haven't contacted her. I've called her, texted and I've facebooked. At this point I've done everything I can from my part to figure out whats the matter. But have you GONE TO SEE HER. Like LondonLisa said - if my BFF dropped off the face of the earth and wasn't responding to any messages I was leaving, I'd be at her door. She's just went radio silent on me. Whatever is the matter cant be much while her facebook status indicates she's still going out partying and clubbing every weekend. So its not like she came down with cancer and I just don't know about it. You know that for certain? For absolutely, absolute certain? Not that I'm saying that she does have cancer, God forbid, but if I had just received a life changing diagnosis, I would immediately pull away from everyone to try and sort out my reaction to it. And, quite possibly, I would start drinking heavily to cope. People do that. It's not unheard of. We didn't have some big tiff where she stormed off. Literally I've heard nothing for about a month. That you know of. People are sensitive creatures. They can pick something up in a random conversation, let it fester, and before you know what has happened, they've built it up into this big huge thing in their heads. Maybe you don't think you had a big tiff, but maybe she does. My cousin and sister didn't talk for YEARS because of this big huge fight they got in to. Problem was... my sister didn't know they got in to a fight. Cousin just went radio silent.
FYI when I asked everyone to be my bridesmaids I said you're going to need at least $200. So make sure you have it. WOW. Nope. Just nope. I spent over $1000 on my sister's wedding, between dresses and showers and gifts (we're not even going to talk about how I drove 22 hours round trip every three weeks for six months to go help out). But if she had DEMANDED that I have $200, I'da smiled and said 'sorry, not in this month's budget.' This was individual conversations that I had with them. I got the feel of who would struggle and who wouldn't. She was definitely the last person I thought would flake on me. At the end of it everyone agreed. Because you were holding a loaded wedding gun to their heads. What you're supposed to do is ask each person individually what their budget is, and then go by what the least amount is. Staying budget conscience I came in way under that. Just to be safe. She's just a selfish friend. Well, one of you is a selfish friend.
I asked a legitimate question because people judge you on your friends or lack thereof. So why would a wedding be any different. If people are judging you on your friends or lack thereof, you need new people.

Heffalump · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

FYI when I asked everyone to be my bridesmaids I said you're going to need at least $200. So make sure you have it.

OMFG, are you serious with this?

Well...it is a refreshing change of pace from the overly curated Pinterest bridesmaid proposals, I'll give you that.

What happens if they don't have it? Is Big Vinnie gonna have to break some kneecaps?

southernbelle0915 · July 2015

adk19 said:

I can't believe you told them they better have $200 to be in your wedding. I would have laughed in your face and walked away.

Same here!

I definitely have the money to spend, but you'd get an "oh really?" and then see the back of my head if you tried giving me an ultimatum like that.

So what if they didn't? You'd kick them to the curb. Sounds like an awesome friendship! Where do I sign up?

missjewels02 · July 2015

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.

You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.

If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.

Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.

In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.

P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

ShesSoCold · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.
You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.
If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.
Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.
In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.
P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

Having a budget conversation is absolutely great. It's what every bride is supposed to do. But you went about it all wrong. Instead of saying, "Hey, bridesmaid, whats your budget for a dress? I don't want to pick something out of your price range." you demanded that they spend an amount you're comfortable with, without discussing what they're comfortable with. That's totally backwards.

Also, if you're going to demand they wear matching shoes, you should pay for those.

If dude is your husband, why are you even talking about a wedding?

justsie · July 2015

ShesSoCold said:

missjewels02 said:

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.
You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.
If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.
Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.
In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.
P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

Having a budget conversation is absolutely great. It's what every bride is supposed to do. But you went about it all wrong. Instead of saying, "Hey, bridesmaid, whats your budget for a dress? I don't want to pick something out of your price range." you demanded that they spend an amount you're comfortable with, without discussing what they're comfortable with. That's totally backwards.

Also, if you're going to demand they wear matching shoes, you should pay for those.

If dude is your husband, why are you even talking about a wedding?

Agree with the above. $200 would be easy for me to afford right now, $200 6 months ago would have been my entire food budget for the month. Your husband (wtf? why?) is correct. Its your marriage that matters so don't treat your friends so badly during the "wedding", or they probably won't be around for much longer after that.

redoryx · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.
You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.
If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.
Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.
In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.
P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

That's not a budget conversation. That's you spending their money for them.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

@missjewels02 - Are you married? Because if you aren't you really shouldn't be calling your FI your husband. It can be very misleading and confusing to people

And sorry but I still think you should be concerned about your friend. She just up and quit your wedding and you have not heard from here since. That would be concerning to me. And not because she may be dead or hurt, but because she may have something going on in her life that is causing her to react oddly. Unless she has up and stopped talking to you like this before, abnormal behavior should be concerning to you as a friend. But instead you decide to say she is a sucky friend. Really the only sucky friend I see here is you. You told people what they had to spend for your wedding. $200 may be nothing to one person but it may be hell of a lot to another. You don't spend other people's money. How would you like it if someone told you that you had to have $500 to be in their wedding? You wouldn't think they were being a very nice friend would you?

And who the hell cares if your family judges you for having uneven sides? Tell them to shove it.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

redoryx said:

missjewels02 said:

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.
You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.
If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.
Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.
In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.
P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

That's not a budget conversation. That's you spending their money for them.

You don't budget $150 for a dress and $50 for shoes unless you've had a private conversation with each of the girls independent of each other and said, "hey, how much can you spend on a dress you'll probably only wear once?" If they all say $150 or more, then you have a budget of $150 for a dress. But you can't just tell people they better have $200 for your wedding. You can't do that and still be a good friend. You said "As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol." (Love the "lol" by the way, very mature.) So apparently you think $600 is a lot of money but $200 is not a lot of money. So what if one of your friends asked you to be in her wedding, you said yes, she then told you that you have a year to save up $600 because that's how much it's going to cost to be in her wedding. That feels awesome, right? Maybe $200 was Too Much for your friend. For the record, I don't like you.

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

So you would tell your "friends" that if they need to spend $200 on you? And if they didn't they couldn't stand up with you? Wow. Good friend you are.

MyNameIsNot · July 2015

missjewels02 said:

I don't even understand how people can be so hung up on the price. As if i told my bridesmaids they needed $600 saved up lol. If I was getting married at city hall or had a destination wedding. This could definitely be one of those wear what you want type of conversations. But if you're having a formal wedding. As a bride you get to decide what you want to have.
You talk budget with your friends because you don't want to put anyone out who might not be able to afford it. I definitely didn't want to put anyone in a situation where we get to the store and they say oh I cant afford it. Or looking at the price tags with dread. Everyone new what to expect so we were able to have fun and try on dresses without worrying one or the other would have a problem. So, no $200 is not too much.
If you didn't have a convo like that with friends. Either you didn't need to or you had a bridesmaid calling every dress she tried on ugly because she couldnt afford to buy it. Unable to be honest about her budget. I had this convo months before we stepped foot in the store. I budgeted $50 for shoes and $150 for dress ($200 altogether). Like I stated earlier came in way under that. Mostly because I ended up letting the bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they liked from home and the dress was only $100. So, no not a Bridezilla.
Secondly, I'm sick of people saying call your friend. REPEAT I HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. MY FRIEND NEEDS TO CALL ME BACK. She is not sick, her mother hasn't died, and she hasn't lost her job. Their is nothing wrong with her. I'm reading some of these comments like people expect me to receive a call at any moment saying she died in a car accident. And then I'm going to regret talking bad about her lol. Except she is a sucky friend and its really that simple. She made a decision not to get the dress and not talk to me about it. If she returns any of my messages and calls i'll be happy to resolve whatever her issue is.
In the meantime, I wont be replacing her with anyone. Because finding loyal friends who are straight forward and have your back. Really is as hard as it seems. I guess I am sensitive about that whole sides not equal thing because my family is really judgmental and not in a good way. That's something you also couldn't have known. So maybe posting on here was not the best decision I could have made.
P.S. This forum was not helpful at all in me making that decision. Instead it was my husband. Whose actions reminded me of the saying. "It's not the wedding day that matters but the marriage."

The problem is not how much money. It's the fact that you told them how much they would be spending. If you seriously can't understand how awful that is, I don't think anyone is ever going to be able to help you.

It's becoming clearer and clearer that you don't understand the second bolded. Or perhaps you just don't care about whether or not you continue to have any friends after the wedding.

If you don't care about your friends, yes, posting on this forum is a mistake.

onefootinthebayou · July 2015

Y'all, I think she's already married.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

@onefootinthebayou - I can't see the picture you posted. Does it have something to do with your post?

onefootinthebayou · July 2015

Dayum.

It was Sherlock Holmes

#clervernessfail

Heffalump · July 2015

ShesSoCold said:

If dude is your husband, why are you even talking about a wedding?

Maggie0829 said:

@onefootinthebayou - I can't see the picture you posted. Does it have something to do with your post?

ETA: also this ^^^

Number of Bridesmaids. Is that really an issue?

Re: Number of Bridesmaids. Is that really an issue?

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