do you decorate together?

ThxSugar · July 2015

We moved into a larger place a few weeks ago and are really figuring out our mutual style. Which is fun and aggravating at the same time. His sister thinks it is hilarious that I even consult him because her husband couldn't care less and she decorates however she pleases. She also just thinks it is funny her little brother has a "design style". He really doesn't but is *just* starting to grow out of his posters with no fames phase. Our last move was cross country and we sold/gave away almost every thing we owned before moving so we are really building a home together rather than combining into one.

So just out of curiosity, when buying larger pieces for your home (chairs, dressers, bed frame, curtains), did you decide together or does one of you lead the way?

novella1186 · July 2015

Knottie1430505628 said:

We moved into a larger place a few weeks ago and are really figuring out our mutual style. Which is fun and aggravating at the same time. His sister thinks it is hilarious that I even consult him because her husband couldn't care less and she decorates however she pleases. She also just thinks it is funny her little brother has a "design style". He really doesn't but is *just* starting to grow out of his posters with no fames phase. Our last move was cross country and we sold/gave away almost every thing we owned before moving so we are really building a home together rather than combining into one. So just out of curiosity, when buying larger pieces for your home (chairs, dressers, bed frame, curtains), did you decide together or does one of you lead the way?

H does graphic design as his job, so he has an amazing eye for color, detail, etc. We definitely decide on decorative stuff together. The only furniture we've bought together (so far) is our couch, and we picked it together. But I think we also lucked out a lot because we have really similar style (most of the time). So it was pretty much we walked into the store and I said, "I like that gray couch." And he said "Me too. Let's buy it."

We both inherited a lot of nice furniture from our grandparents, I already owned a new bed frame, and we have a small house, so we're not in the market to buy new furniture anytime soon. When we do, we might run into some arguments because I've realized that I love love love mid-century modern styles and he hates them.

MyNameIsNot · July 2015

Knottie1430505628 said:

We moved into a larger place a few weeks ago and are really figuring out our mutual style. Which is fun and aggravating at the same time. His sister thinks it is hilarious that I even consult him because her husband couldn't care less and she decorates however she pleases. She also just thinks it is funny her little brother has a "design style". He really doesn't but is *just* starting to grow out of his posters with no fames phase. Our last move was cross country and we sold/gave away almost every thing we owned before moving so we are really building a home together rather than combining into one. So just out of curiosity, when buying larger pieces for your home (chairs, dressers, bed frame, curtains), did you decide together or does one of you lead the way?

We absolutely do it together. I might pick some accents or a new duvet without him (or vice versa), but my husband has strong opinions about furniture and style. Most of our furniture is a compromise between his modern and my transitional style.

If I just decorated to my taste, he would feel like it was my home, not ours.

WinstonsGirl · July 2015

We absolutely do. He defers to me a bit more when putting together small things to create a bigger picture (like when we built and picked to colours) but everything is decided together. It's the only time we fight too

kvruns · July 2015

we haven't bought any together yet and I dread the day that we do. Our styles aren't similar and he thinks that if it is expensive that means it is good. I finally gave up on trying to insert any of "me" into the house because our stuff just doesn't match and I'm just biding time till we get the next house to figure it out. We brought over some of my furniture that is in the loft and like one item in the living room but the rest of the downstairs is his.

Edit: words

luckya23 · July 2015

I owned my home before I met DH, but ive tried to include him on most decision since we did meet. We had only been together for a month when we chose our mattress!

So a lot of things I already had, but we do have similar styles anyway. The superhero stuff stays in the basement, though!

emmaaa · July 2015

DH always helps me pick out big pieces like our living room furniture and eventually our new bedroom furniture. He doesn't care about small things and accent pieces so I usually pick those out and ask if he likes it (most of the time he says yes). There have been a few cases when he absolutely hated something and I returned it because he rarely has that strong of an opinion.

However, when I do pick things out for the house I take into consider our style as a couple versus my style. Like our comforter is something that we both like. Sure there were more "girly" ones I liked better but he wouldn't have liked it.

AddieCake · July 2015

We decide together.

beachyone15 · July 2015

Oh dear Lord, my husband is SO particular. Probably more than me. In a way, I like that he actually cares, but sometimes I wish I could pick out little things (accent pillows, decor for the fireplace mantel) without his opinion. He definitely has an opinion about everything! The good news is that we have very similar styles - mostly transitional.

BouxRadley · July 2015

Mine really couldn't care less. It goes down like this.

"I found this whathaveyou that I like. What do you think?"

"I don't hate it."

"But do you like it?"

"I guess."

"Cool." Purchased.

The last time I let him make a design decision I ended up with a disgusting forest green (almost black) "accent wall" in my living room.

beachyone15 said:

Oh dear Lord, my husband is SO particular. Probably more than me. In a way, I like that he actually cares, but sometimes I wish I could pick out little things (accent pillows, decor for the fireplace mantel) without his opinion. He definitely has an opinion about everything! The good news is that we have very similar styles - mostly transitional.

I have my 'N Sync bobble head collection up there. That was a battle of stubbornness I totally won. He hates them.

etf

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Ooh boy. Yeah, we try to decorate everything together. It ends up being a battle because FI currently thinks he likes very modern decor. I find that hilarious because just four months ago he wanted everything nautical. I try to steer him in a more transitional direction, because I personally think very-modern style is too stark (and I have a feeling his tastes will keep changing seasonally).

southernbelle0915 · July 2015

We definitely decide together on big stuff (furniture, paint color, remodel stuff like cabinets/flooring). DH for sure has a design style, as do I. It's important that both of us feel "at home" in our house.

For little stuff like accessories and decorative pillows, I usually just pick it out on my own. I know what he likes, so I pick stuff suited to both of us. If he doesn't like what I bring home, I return it.

cupcait927 · July 2015

I attempt to include H when making big furniture purchases but he usually ends up deferring to me, which can be frustrating because I want his opinion since he has to live with it every day as well. We have similar styles, which is why he lets me have the reigns, but mostly it's because he just really doesn't care. When we went shopping for a new couch and love seat it was like pulling teeth to get him to offer up anything more than "yeah, that looks nice" and "whatever you want, honey". Every once in awhile though, he'll pipe up about something he really likes, and it's mostly been end tables (weird piece of furniture to get hyped up about but I'll take it).

I don't even bother to ask about the little things, like accent pillows or duvet covers, because he seriously couldn't care less. He can't see colors that well so he can't give me an opinion on that and as long as it's not super girly or gaudy, he really couldn't give a shit.

labro · July 2015

We decide together on big things like furniture. But otherwise it's 100% up to me on paint colors, fixtures, accent pieces, etc. H CLAIMS to have no sense of design or color and he just gives me free reign as long as it's within budget. Overall, I think our tastes aren't drastically different so it works for us. We both tend to stick to pretty traditional/transitional type pieces.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

Not really. When I find stuff I like I show him a picture or take him to the store and he usually says "looks good to me." He trusts me that I won't paint the house pink and cover everything with ruffles. In fact he tells me a lot about how impressed he is with the house and what it looks like. He always takes people up to our bedroom to who off the wall I stenciled. If it was up to him the house would look exactly like it did when we moved in...off white construction grade paint, mattress on the bedroom floor and a tv and two chairs in the family room.

Typically I need H to push me to buy things. I get horrible buyers remorse and have a hard time spending money on furniture (ridiculously expensive) so more times then not, H will say "Just get it! You like it and have been talking about it for weeks!"

ThxSugar · July 2015

My FI is just figuring that men can have style and opinions about things. I think it is also the first time he has been in a position to choose for himself something he actually wants instead of needs. He has always been more of This Will Do sort of guy. I have always been more picky and will live without a coffee table, or whatever, until I find one I really like for a price I am willing to pay. I think that drives him a little crazy, lol.

lyndausvi · July 2015

Big stuff like furniture we choose together. No way I would considering dropping 5 grand on a sofa without DH's input. Partly because of the cost, but mostly that shit better be comfortable and/or functional to him also.

Art for the walls it's mostly DH for some reason.

Textiles like curtains, duvets, pillows are mostly me with a little consultation from DH.

Electronics are mostly DH with no consultation from me. I add it as decor because DH called me one day to say he just bought a 75 inch TV. A TV that big becomes decor, since I now had to buy a new stand. Then I have to find a place for the sound bar and subwoofer.

Nick-knacks, picture frames, small items like that are mostly all me.

OliveOilsMom · July 2015

For most things, we decide together. Finding a comforter set to register for took forever! Everything I liked and showed him was "too girly" "too green", etc, etc, etc. He usually defers to me on paint colors for the walls, but he will also freely tell me no when he doesn't like the color.

When we purchased our house, all the furniture we bought was picked out together. He even helped me pick out the bedroom rug. I will buy stuff and see if he likes it, if he doesn't I will return it.

I can't imagine keeping some decorative item in a well used room of our house, if H doesn't like it. It's his house too, so I can just move the stuff that he doesn't like as much to a less trafficked room.

lovemesomemonster · July 2015

In our first house we just moved most of my furniture in and his bed set, since his living room furniture was pretty gross from years of boys in college using it for parties. In this house since it's so much bigger we have actually had to decide on things, some together and some not.

When I picked out the new comforter set for the master I just bought two options I thought he might like and let him see both and we decided on one. For the bigger furniture he has been on a furniture building kick so I told him kind of what I wanted for the king bed and he designed and built it, same with the night stands. For decoration type things he doesn't care as long as they aren't in the brown family color wise so I just do that myself. Anything we remodel is a joint decision and we seem to lean toward the same finishes anyways so that helps.

The only odd thing that he has fixated on in the new house is the eat in part of the kitchen so it is currently empty. We don't have kids and we have a huge dining set in the dining room and a kitchen bar to eat at so he doesn't want another table. I suggested a corner bench to sit on under the windows and he didn't like that, his suggestion was a plant so we bought Henry the lemon tree who is currently the only thing in the space.

NowIamMrsKlein · July 2015

FI and I have very similar styles which is awesome and he has a good eye for layout and stuff. I wouldn't buy furniture or anything without him. I may buy a pillow or accent piece I really love because 95% of the time I know he will like it too.

But its 'our house' so we make all decorating decisions together. He's actually be huge in helping with the decorations for the wedding. He designed and picked colours for the backdrop and played a huge part in the center pieces. Basically a wedding related decorating decision does not get made without running it by him first because he is very opinionated in the matter.

PandaNikki · July 2015

When we originally moved in together it was a temporary furnished apartment so there were no decisions to be made there. When we got an apartment we had to furnish, things got interesting. We have similar styles- clean lines, geometric patterns, etc, so we agreed on a lot of stuff right away. Furniture was pretty easy, actually, and when we bought our house we agreed on paint colors pretty easily as well.

Our one problem was choosing lamps. We could not agree on lamps at all. When we finally did it was like a miracle. Now whenever we have something we struggle to agree on, we refer to it as a "lamp".

[Deleted User] · July 2015

When we bought our house last September, I was told I could decorate "until I screwed up." Apparently I haven't screwed up yet because I'm still going. But I always consider him in my choices. I wanted one of the spare bedrooms to be pink, but I didn't think he'd like it, so I decided to go with orange. So now our extra rooms are Blue and the other is Orange (Chicago Bears colors, baby.)

I chose the dining room set myself. I took him with me to buy the loveseat and reading chair for the living room, but I already knew what I wanted.

I want to paint the wood paneling in the basement, but he likes the dark cave look, so we're keeping it for now. I put out maps and globes for him, so I can put out quilts and decorative boxes for me. If he ever hated something, he'd say something. He's not quiet about his real opinions.

twoleighs · July 2015

We do it together. When we moved into our new (much bigger) apartment from a studio, we had to buy all new furniture. He was a little more picky when it came to the couch, bed, and TV, but he didn't really have a strong opinion on anything else.

He prefers to see stuff before I buy anything, but he is typically on board with my choices.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I'd say we did 90%+ of it together. My fiance is a homebody and I knew he'd need to be part of the selection process so that he'd feel comfortable in our shared space. We agreed on almost everything very easily.

The one thing we had a bit of an argument over was this CD/DVD cabinet he wanted to bring from his current place that looks a bit like an old school card catalog. I like the piece but we have such a small apartment I was worried it wouldn't fit.

I about had a melt down when he said he wanted to bring it because "it would make him feel at home." Not something I'd normally get upset about but I did for two main reasons. One, WE picked all of the stuff in this place TOGETHER. It's not like I thrust this upon you- you had a say, some veto power, I passed on things I liked that you didn't... Two, I'd just asked him the day before when about 90% of the furniture was in / most pictures were hung etc. if he felt "at home" here and if he "saw enough of himself" represented and he said yes. How the heck does that change in two days?!

His mom told me later the cabinet was something he'd wanted for a LONG time and when they gave it to him for Christmas a few years before he was really excited about it. So bringing it may have made him feel more at home since it was something familiar amongst everything else being 100% new, but I think it was more that he just really liked the cabinet and had wanted one for a long time and didn't want to give it up. I wish he'd have just said that instead of saying he didn't feel at home after we worked so hard together to pick things out and set things up...

Any way, it's in our house, fits great and we both like it.

P.S. - I know what you're going through w/ your fiance just growing out of his unframed poster stage. Our breaker box is pretty visible in our kitchen. I wanted to hang a print over it (one he picked out - I like it too) but he brought two HUGE magnets over from his parent's house with his almater's logo/mascot on them in bright purple / yellow. They look so dumb and I have had my one and only guest (a GUY!) look at it and say, "couldn't you have just hung that picture over it?" LOL!

Not a hill I'm willing to die on...

ETA: When I bring things into the house now as well, I almost always let him know that if he doesn't like it or it seems out of place I'm willing to return it. So far, the few things we've added (a lamp, a piece of art) have stayed.

VulgarGirl · July 2015

We both live here so we both make all design decisions. It's been trial and error over the last 10 years of living together, but we've made our different styles work together.

Sometimes one of us will give in on something we don't really care about if the other one does really care about it.

I can't imagine decorating my home that I share with my partner and her have no input on it.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

FTR, this thread is so relevant in my life right now, as FI just informed me he took down almost all of the decorations on our walls because he "was tired of looking at them." I'm face-palming so hard right now. UGH.

teddygirl9 · July 2015

The only things we didnt pick out together were curtains and pillows. But for our major things, we picked them out together, and have a very similar style. We got to design our house from the ground up, and worked with a designer for the interior builder type stuff, which was easy. I had wanted a specific sofa for literally the past 2 years before we moved in, and he liked it, so we got it. We both picked our bedroom set, which his parents bought for us.

Art and other things arent such a big deal, because they can be moved/replaced. So I bought some, he bought some.

MissKittyDanger · July 2015

Depends on what we're buying. We have similar styles - modern - so it works. I decided the colour scheme on the place. Things like bedding, pillows, art, etc, he doesn't care but dishes, or furniture we both agree upon.

Sometimes I get a few options I feel would work and have him decide between them. We're getting a new night stand for him, so we've both been looking. All I requested is the keep in the dark wood colour scheme we already have, otherwise idc what he chooses.

hellohkb · July 2015

I like cozy, eclectic, and ornate antiques, FH prefers a more modern minimalist look *deep sigh*. Somehow manage to actually do very well with merging our style and finding pieces we both love. Luckily he likes a lot of vintage pieces. It saddens me when I see something I love but definitely couldn't have- I love kitsch and what most people would describe as Pepto Pink, so it's a bit understandable.

@novella1186 That's so funny because the one style we CAN agree on is midcentury modern. It pulls in my love for vintage pieces (or reproductions) and has the modern edge he likes. He also thinks all the MCM stuff looks "1960s surfer"(?) which I guess I can see what he means by that. I have to hold back on buying because of the wedding and because we plan on having a big move after we get married, so I want to hold off. But I joined a midcentury modern group on FB and the beautiful finds people post make me want to foam at the mouth. I can't wait to get into a bigger place and decorate. The antique stores and tag sales won't know what hit them.

OllisaurusRex · July 2015

Couch shopping - FI did the comfortable/napability testing, I gave up and picked the color because everything was ok to him. For me, since I always wind up tucking my feet up under me, it's a rare couch that's not ok for my short self (5'2. In sneakers.), but FI is so dang lanky, most couches aren't that comfortable and he can't squish up like me (6'7.), thus he did the testing.

Mattress - we did the Sleep Number thing, no way we could reach an agreement there.

Paint - I picked up bathroom and the main color from that. FI found the crazy dark bedroom color, but he's right, it's rather nice sleeping in a cave.

Everything else is still recent grad student/doctoral student mismatch of stuff. Since we aren't sure where we'll end up in a year or so, we aren't bothering with much right now. I have a book of what I like, FI yanks out anything he finds awful. Granted, I've found some deliberately awful pictures. But it works for us. His main vote is no craft store puking on everything.

drunkenwitch · July 2015

Oh boy, this is something I have to deal with now that BF and I are moving in together. The bedroom will probably be a um....discussion. BF likes to hang tapestries on every wall and the ceiling. Now, I have seen people drape attractive fabric and make a room pretty but his tapestries are butt ugly. He thinks it looks cool, I think ot looks like a trustafarian went to Goodwill and grabbed the first thing he could find to decorate his dorm room.

When it was his room, I kept my mouth shut, when it's our room. No, just no. I hope I can compromise with him and say he can have that look in his man cave and let me so something else in the bedroom.

do you decorate together?

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