Trying something new

ChemFanatic25 · July 2015

So I'm trying something new - it's out of my comfort zone. I'm trying to text my mom daily just by sending her a text wishing her a great day and that I love her. I know this seems really weird, but if anyone remembers my posts from the past this is completely out of the norm because I'm not close with my mom and don't have that connection with her.

It feels awkward but I feel better doing it especially since I was told by one of her close friends that my mom believes I am so independent that she believes I don't need her - probably why the huge lack of communication and how we butt heads a lot. This is my way of showing her that I still need her as a mom and that I do care about her.

My other new thing is that I'm also trying to eat healthier and I've been keeping track of it on an app. Apparently I snack a lot. This is a huge improvement and I already feel healthier!

So what's your new thing?

beachyone15 · July 2015

I think that's really sweet! I bet she will appreciate it. I still ask my parents for advice because I want them to know how much I value their opinions and how thankful I am for my relationship with them!

AddieCake · July 2015

My new thing is trying new recipes and new restaurants. I'm a very picky eater, so our dinners don't get much variety. But I've started trying out one new recipe each time my husband is home (this time it's been 2 because he has been home longer than usual), and we started trying a new restaurant each time he comes home, too, instead of just always going to our usual places.

onefootinthebayou · July 2015

@chemfanatic25 I think that's great that you are taking an active step to improve your relationship with your mother. It seems like a really proactive way to acknowledge and address your issues and is very sweet. Maybe over time, the messages will feel less uncomfortable or "forced" (if they do now) and you will find yourself communicating with her more effectively.

Our new thing is not wildly spending money. We are initiating a budgeting exercise and are starting to really track our spending and starting to be more conservative.

We weren't being irresponsible, per se - we have no debt, pay off ccs monthly, save quite a bit, but we also spend a lot, more than we should, I'm certain.

When we met, we were slightly long distance (I was half in NYC, half in New Orleans, he was full time in New Orleans) so when we saw each other, it was always a party, a fun weekend out on the town, dinners out. Now we live together but we both travel so when one of us gets home, our tendency is to go out, celebrate, etc. We are splurging less on expensive restaurants and I'm cooking more.

We are also moving to a 2BR in August so that will be something new as well!

aliwis000 · July 2015

I think that is sweet.

I do this kind of thing every time I fly. Which is every week bc of my job. I text my parents and sibs on a group text when I am taking off and when I landed and that I love them. (I also text my FI on a private chat)

I do not think my FI really understands why I do this but for me it is important. I know the probability of something happening on the flight is very low and honestly I do not think I do it bc of that. I just find that right before we push back from the gate and when we land are great times to reach out to those I love and let them know I am thinking about them.

onefootinthebayou · July 2015

AddieCake said:

My new thing is trying new recipes and new restaurants. I'm a very picky eater, so our dinners don't get much variety. But I've started trying out one new recipe each time my husband is home (this time it's been 2 because he has been home longer than usual), and we started trying a new restaurant each time he comes home, too, instead of just always going to our usual places.

I think this is great. How is it working? I always wonder if adults who are picky eaters can become less so by broadening their experiences.

ChemFanatic25 · July 2015

@onefootinthebayou I have been working on this for a while as well. My goal is to own a beach house and I'd like to put down a tidy some so that I'm getting the lowest interest rate and not worrying about PMI (I think that is what it is) or extra fees. I need to reign in the extra spending and putting it in my savings account rather than saying "oh I have money!"

Paying attention to what I have been eating is also helping with my budgeting :-) Yay! Two birds with one stone! I am trying to snack less so that means a lot less money is going towards candy, chips, crackers, chocolate, etc.

@AddieCake, I love trying out new restaurants and I think this is an awesome venture! I have a close friend who is picky and she won't try new foods even if everyone else wants to go to the same place. I wasn't picky per se when I first graduated from college but I did seem to see a trend of only going to specific restaurants. Now I've had haggis, pho, hawaiin bbq, and a whole lot more all for the first time in the past year. It's been so much more exciting. Plus if someone offers something to me later and I don't like it I can say "I've tried it and I'm just not a fan."

@beachyone15 & @aliwis000, it most definitely feels weird. We're not a touchy feely family and I am most definitely the black sheep of the family - mostly by choice because my family can be very exhausting to deal with but I realized that I can't be upset at my mom for not contacting me and complaining about no contact when I don't contact her as well. Hopefully the weird feeling goes away. It honestly feels a little fake (sorry :-/ ) but there is the old saying "fake it til' you make it."

AddieCake · July 2015

onefootinthebayou said:

AddieCake said:

My new thing is trying new recipes and new restaurants. I'm a very picky eater, so our dinners don't get much variety. But I've started trying out one new recipe each time my husband is home (this time it's been 2 because he has been home longer than usual), and we started trying a new restaurant each time he comes home, too, instead of just always going to our usual places.

I think this is great. How is it working? I always wonder if adults who are picky eaters can become less so by broadening their experiences.

It's working ok (the new recipes) but it's slow because I still have to stick to dishes that I like. I run into problems because there are a lot of sauces or vegetables that I don't like on things. So while I might love the idea of "orange beef," I don't like what's mixed up with it, you know? The restauranting is working great!

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I think what you are doing is great. I can definitely understand it feeling fake at first, but I think if you both work on it together it will start to turn into real, genuine communication and won't feel forced.

I am currently trying to take control of my finances. I haven't gone off the deep end, but I am working to keep track of my spending so that I am more aware of where my money goes. FI needs to work on this too, but baby steps :P

I also have been using Blue Apron to get some fun new recipes and ideas for cooking. Our kitchen is about the size of a small hallway, so cooking anything is difficult and I just find myself giving up, but the prepared recipes and portions I have been getting are really motivating me. Plus, I am making things I would never try on my own.

aliwis000 · July 2015

@beachyone15 & @aliwis000, it most definitely feels weird. We're not a touchy feely family and I am most definitely the black sheep of the family - mostly by choice because my family can be very exhausting to deal with but I realized that I can't be upset at my mom for not contacting me and complaining about no contact when I don't contact her as well. Hopefully the weird feeling goes away. It honestly feels a little fake (sorry :-/ ) but there is the old saying "fake it til' you make it."

I can understand the "fake" feeling. I think my FI probably feels the same way about my stuff. lol
His immediate family is just so different than mine. We have 6 people between parents and kids, they have 3, we are loud and crazy, they are more reserved.

I guess the way I would ultimately describe it is we are more outwardly passionate type people. We will yell, scream, and debate each other on anything under the sun but on the flip side we say "I love you" more than any family I know. Every phone call ends with it and I know I could text anyone of them right now and just say I love you and they text back. We are certainly a family of extremes.

On the other hand my FI family is much more reserved in their actions. They are older, quieter, and do not really get too hot or too cold if you get my meaning. Not to say they do not care about each other. They absolutely love each other and are there for each other, they just have a different way of expressing it.

At the end of the day my FI and I sometimes look at each other and say "your family is nuts" lol. Not in a bad way, just in a "wow it is so different" way.

So essentially what you are doing is trying to change from one way to a slightly different way of interacting with a family member. But I think that you realizing you want more of a relationship and are willing to put forth that first effort, no matter how awkward it feels, is a great start!

NowIamMrsKlein · July 2015

I think this is a great idea, perhaps one I should take into consideration. I am very close with my mother and when I lived in the same town we probably talked every day or two, grabbed coffee often and really just hung out as friends. Since moving away, I probably call her once ever 2 weeks for a long chat and text every couple days. I feel like maybe I should try harder.

My new thing? Taking off my makeup and washing my face every night. I am so bad at this. When I get tired, I'm tired. Its like an on/off switch for me. One moment I'm fine, the next moment its, I need to go to bed right now. So a bedtime routine hasnt really been established. So I'm trying to do things earlier in the night. After supper take 10 minutes to go and take my makeup off, wash my face, moisturize etc. I figure if I do it as part of an evening routing instead of a bedtime routine that maybe I'll stick to it.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I have been toying with doing the same with my mom. I'm also a pretty independent and private person. And my parents live in AZ while I'm in IL; it's easy to not talk frequently.

I should probably take the plunge and do it.

My "new" thing is working out. I was so good about it for about 3 years- lost a lot of weight, felt healthier, etc. Started a new job, bad commute and it just fell away. I've been going consistently since about March and I and other people have noticed. Glad I'm "back on" the wagon.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

aliwis000 said:

@beachyone15 & @aliwis000, it most definitely feels weird. We're not a touchy feely family and I am most definitely the black sheep of the family - mostly by choice because my family can be very exhausting to deal with but I realized that I can't be upset at my mom for not contacting me and complaining about no contact when I don't contact her as well. Hopefully the weird feeling goes away. It honestly feels a little fake (sorry :-/ ) but there is the old saying "fake it til' you make it."

I can understand the "fake" feeling. I think my FI probably feels the same way about my stuff. lol
His immediate family is just so different than mine. We have 6 people between parents and kids, they have 3, we are loud and crazy, they are more reserved.

I guess the way I would ultimately describe it is we are more outwardly passionate type people. We will yell, scream, and debate each other on anything under the sun but on the flip side we say "I love you" more than any family I know. Every phone call ends with it and I know I could text anyone of them right now and just say I love you and they text back. We are certainly a family of extremes.

On the other hand my FI family is much more reserved in their actions. They are older, quieter, and do not really get too hot or too cold if you get my meaning. Not to say they do not care about each other. They absolutely love each other and are there for each other, they just have a different way of expressing it.

At the end of the day my FI and I sometimes look at each other and say "your family is nuts" lol. Not in a bad way, just in a "wow it is so different" way.

So essentially what you are doing is trying to change from one way to a slightly different way of interacting with a family member. But I think that you realizing you want more of a relationship and are willing to put forth that first effort, no matter how awkward it feels, is a great start!

So you're the Portokalos family and he's from the Miller family? Please tell me someone gets this reference...

vikinganna87 · July 2015

That's awesome, @ChemFanatic25. I should do something similar.

I've been meaning to start a blog, just to test out some ideas and see if I have the discipline and inspiration to post on a regular basis. I got a wordpress account and wrote my first post this morning. I also registered the domain in case I want to do more with it later.

This is such a minor thing but I keep meaning to do more interesting styles with my hair and it doesn't happen because I'm rushing out the door every morning. So I'm going to make a conscious effort to take a few extra minutes and make a French twist, French braid (how come all the cool hairstyles are French?) or something funky instead of just throwing my hair into a ponytail.

aliwis000 · July 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

aliwis000 said:

@beachyone15 & @aliwis000, it most definitely feels weird. We're not a touchy feely family and I am most definitely the black sheep of the family - mostly by choice because my family can be very exhausting to deal with but I realized that I can't be upset at my mom for not contacting me and complaining about no contact when I don't contact her as well. Hopefully the weird feeling goes away. It honestly feels a little fake (sorry :-/ ) but there is the old saying "fake it til' you make it."

I can understand the "fake" feeling. I think my FI probably feels the same way about my stuff. lol
His immediate family is just so different than mine. We have 6 people between parents and kids, they have 3, we are loud and crazy, they are more reserved.

I guess the way I would ultimately describe it is we are more outwardly passionate type people. We will yell, scream, and debate each other on anything under the sun but on the flip side we say "I love you" more than any family I know. Every phone call ends with it and I know I could text anyone of them right now and just say I love you and they text back. We are certainly a family of extremes.

On the other hand my FI family is much more reserved in their actions. They are older, quieter, and do not really get too hot or too cold if you get my meaning. Not to say they do not care about each other. They absolutely love each other and are there for each other, they just have a different way of expressing it.

At the end of the day my FI and I sometimes look at each other and say "your family is nuts" lol. Not in a bad way, just in a "wow it is so different" way.

So essentially what you are doing is trying to change from one way to a slightly different way of interacting with a family member. But I think that you realizing you want more of a relationship and are willing to put forth that first effort, no matter how awkward it feels, is a great start!

So you're the Portokalos family and he's from the Miller family? Please tell me someone gets this reference...

I am with you! lol Great movie!

And it is pretty true. We are polish Catholic though not Greek, but same type of idea for sure!

particuliersylphe · July 2015

I just started hoop dancing. I am super introverted, but gathered my lady nerve and went to a workshop one day and loved it. I avoid social situations and new people like the plague, so it was a huge step for me.. I just had my second class tonight. My body is going to hate me tomorrow, but that's a good thing.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I just bought myself a planner in an effort to become more organized. I've always been kind of an organized chaos, but chaos makes adulting hard. So I shelled out for a pretty planner and figured that if it is pleasing to look at, maybe I can trick myself into using it. If anyone is in the market for a planner, I highly recommend The Simplified Planner by Emily Ley.

particuliersylphe I just googled hoop dancing...that looks like so much fun!

particuliersylphe · July 2015

jenandtonic81515 said:

I just bought myself a planner in an effort to become more organized. I've always been kind of an organized chaos, but chaos makes adulting hard. So I shelled out for a pretty planner and figured that if it is pleasing to look at, maybe I can trick myself into using it. If anyone is in the market for a planner, I highly recommend The Simplified Planner by Emily Ley.

particuliersylphe I just googled hoop dancing...that looks like so much fun!

It is so fun!! You end up using way more muscles than you'd think, so if anyone is looking for a good toning exercise that doesn't actually feel like exercise while doing it and they don't mind playing with a hula hoop, i highly recommend it!

ChemFanatic25 · July 2015

particuliersylphe said:

I just started hoop dancing. I am super introverted, but gathered my lady nerve and went to a workshop one day and loved it. I avoid social situations and new people like the plague, so it was a huge step for me.. I just had my second class tonight. My body is going to hate me tomorrow, but that's a good thing.

Hoop dancing? That's a new one. Time for google :-)

My company is now offering yoga and our first class is next week. I've never taken yoga before and I'm pretty pumped because it's something new for me and doesn't kill my wallet.

AddieCake · July 2015

I started hula hooping last year as a way to work on my abs. I just do it in the privacy of my living room, though. No classes. A few knotties did get to see video of me doing it, though. Haha!

particuliersylphe · July 2015

I would break everything in my living room, so I have to go outside ha, but I'm glad I'm not alone in the hula hooping! At the last class of the program we can try fire hooping, I'm not so sure I want to attempt it.

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