Is anyone just "over it" already?

Re: Is anyone just "over it" already?

• [Deleted User] member

  

  June 2015

  I still get excited, but I definitely have a lot of moments like this. I'm getting married in October as well and we've been engaged since March of last year -- we got a big, big chunk of stuff done and now it's all minutia (menus, centerpieces, music, blah blah blah) that feels so fiddly and exhausting and EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION on it. I'm so ready to just be married, but I'm hoping that the shower and the end of the summer will perk me up. Maybe we're both feeling this way because summer is supposed to feel so relaxed and it's stressful to have to think of it as something to get through rather than enjoy?
  

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• BouxRadley member

  

  June 2015

  I've been begging for Vegas for a couple months now. I feel you.
  
  

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• blushingbride8888 member

  

  June 2015

  Thank goodness for you ladies. My mom keeps telling me I'm not normal and her wedding was the most exciting time for her. She also didn't pay, didn't have to plan or deal with many family issues so...

  I knew I wasn't completely nuts when my pro-wedding FI was like.."I kind of wish we eloped.."

  

  
  

  

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• scoetto member

  

  June 2015

  Listening to you ladies is slowly solidifying FI's suggestion to have a "private" wedding with just us. I'd like about 24 of our immediate family & closest friends to join but the idea of spending a lot of money on that is super scary. Went into debt the first time around and absolutely refuse to do so this time.

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• spglsp member

  

  June 2015

  Yeah, you can read me venting about similar things on another thread. It gets exhausting sometimes. The good news is you can put off a lot of that stress for a few months. Seating charts are totally unnecessary right now because whatever family issues are happening this month will be in their tenth iteration come October; I don't know if that's good news or bad news. I've spoken with some of our recently married friends about this and from what I understand, most of what seems important right now will be a complete non-issue on the day of. That's one of those things that gets you through the final countdown.

  Just Married!

  
  

  
  

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• Knottie25481578 member

  

  June 2015

  Dude, I know how you feel. I'm an October bride as well, and we're planning a small, 60 person wedding at my mother's home. But between her trying to control the wedding planning and our tiny budget, I just want to elope. We seriously wrote out a huge pros/cons list over the weekend of just having our friend marry us over 4th of July weekend. FI is all for it.

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• peachy13 member

  

  June 2015

  October bride too. Definitely in the "I can't wait for the honeymoon" phase right now and have been for a month or so. I've also been engaged for a long time at this point too and am starting to feel burnt out.

  
  

  But I think once it's time for shower, bachelorette, and once it's FALL (the BEST season ever), I think I will get the excited vibes back. 

  
  
  
  

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• FrenchHouseCat member

  

  June 2015

  peachy13 said:

  October bride too. Definitely in the "I can't wait for the honeymoon" phase right now and have been for a month or so. I've also been engaged for a long time at this point too and am starting to feel burnt out.

  
  

  But I think once it's time for shower, bachelorette, and once it's FALL (the BEST season ever), I think I will get the excited vibes back. 

  This is how I feel too, also October bride, and my best friend who is late September is also feeling it . I think there are ebbs and flows of wedding planning, it starts out really exciting and then gets monotonous, then you have a bit of a break, and then it gets exciting again. It is overwhelming and sometimes annoying and I especially feel annoyed/guilty when people tell me I have to "slow down and enjoy all of it". 

  
  

  
  

  

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• blushingbride8888 member

  

  June 2015

  I hear the slow down and enjoy it thing at least once a week. I really never wanted to be a party planner so the whole "enjoy the planning" thing doesn't work for me. So glad I'm not the only one feeling this way! I'm pretty detail-oriented and I never realized how many more details I'd need to consider...things I really never thought I'd need to care about.

  

  
  

  

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• flbride2015 member

  

  June 2015

  Totally normal. October bride here too and wishing we could elope. Lol. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family and friends at the wedding though, just wish I didn't have to plan it myself. I feel you on the whole budget thing too; I keep thinking of all the traveling we could do with our wedding budget, but then I remind myself that it's all going towards good food and booze for the people we love the most, and that helps make me feel better.

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• lembaslover member

  

  June 2015

  Lots of October brides here (I am too!), must mean it's a good month to get married! I totally feel ya, I've definitely had a couple of breakdowns to my fiance when I look at the budget and am like why did we not elope and use this money as a down-payment? Or at the very least why did I fall in love with this expensive venue when we could have picked option B for half the price... 

  
  

  But my fiance is great in reminding me that we love our friends/family and they really want to be there and there's a reason we picked our venue and that everything might not go perfectly but what's important is that we are getting married and it is the wedding of our dreams. That calms me down and makes me look forward to the day and of course thinking of the honeymoon after really helps too!

  

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• sheknows6 member

  

  June 2015

  I think it depends on where you're at in the timeline.....I definitely felt that way last month! Now I'm back to being pretty excited but it's the little details that are frustrating me- honestly I think I'm sick of planning.

  
  

  This is a hell of a process we all undertook and it gets really overwhelming from time to time!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• TheCheeseWench member

  

  June 2015

  I hear ya. October wedding (#435 apparently) and I have to FORCE myself to do things that I would normally just do without a second thought. I think I am just frustrated from losing a month of my planning/engagement time and now that we are moving forward I just can't get motivated again. It's simple stuff like ordering the ceremony chairs from the rental company, sending out the last few STDs, booking the cake (kind of an important one) and picking the last of the music. There are a few things that are not done yet that are waiting on things I can't control, but I'm afraid that even if I could finish them up now I would just procrastinate those too (says the girl looking at a box of half-finished reception decor).

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• sassercake12 member

  

  June 2015

  Right there with you all. We're really in the midst of planning out the little details like music, getting ceremony programs together (maybe?), putting together a timeline and finalizing things with vendors. We're also getting back RSVPs, which is actually kind of fun. It's sort of exciting seeing it all come together, but I am so done. I just want to be on our honeymoon so I don't have to deal with people or work or doing anything or moving or saving every last penny. I'm glad we got stuff done early because I would be very unhappy right now otherwise.

  

  
  

  
  
  

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• kvruns member

  

  June 2015

  My mom got mad at me (well gave me the "look") whenever I said I was over it but the month or so leading up to it I was soooo over it.  We had a casual, laid-back approach to it and no big DIY or anything but just thinking about it constantly was so draining I was over it. In the end it all worked out fine but it took up too many brain cells this spring

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• peachy13 member

  

  June 2015

  This reminded me of this thread (some are ridiculous, some speak to my heart -- mostly #7)

  
  

  http://www.buzzfeed.com/sheridanwatson/how-you-feel-after-engaged-vs-before-wedding?bffbweddings&utm_term=4ldqpkk#4ldqpkk
  

  
  
  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  June 2015

  peachy13 said:

  This reminded me of this thread (some are ridiculous, some speak to my heart -- mostly #7)

  
  

  http://www.buzzfeed.com/sheridanwatson/how-you-feel-after-engaged-vs-before-wedding?bffbweddings&utm_term=4ldqpkk#4ldqpkk
  

  Love it! It's so true!

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• blushingbride8888 member

  

  June 2015

  Omg OBSESSED. That article is so my life.

  

  
  

  

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• Fairyjen1 member

  

  July 2015

      I was an October bride too! I felt like you from the start. Party planning isn't my thing. That's the big reason I had a wedding at Disneyland. I pay them some money and show up in the dress. They took care of almost everything. We did their small wedding package so it wasn't out of our budget and we only had 16 people (mostly immediate family) there so it took care of any drama with friends and extended family.

  
  

     Our VIPs were on board with it thought. If they hadn't been we probably would have come up with something else .

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• GeekyBride87 member

  

  July 2015 edited July 2015

  September bride here. I feel ya. It was really fun planning without the executing. I mean, pinning things was fun... Then it got stressful when we actually had to start finalizing and doing... But once I got the hang of that it was fun again. Now that it's 89 days away... Thanks Knot, btw... I'm losing my mind. Mostly the past couple months have sucked because of other people. Why can't everyone just leave me alone and use common sense?
  
  My fiance told my MIL that we are having an outdoor ceremony and won't be doing a unity candle. (I'm not standing up in front of 80 people trying to light a candle for twenty minutes and my fiance thinks it's weird.) Anyway, what do I get in the mail? A unity candle with a western cross on it that she got at goodwill. She's so proud of it. She keeps trying to send me cowboy looking stuff because we are getting married in my mom's barn. It's all tacky, dirty, or broken and I don't want it. we have enough wedding crap taking over our house! We've told her that and she ignores it and sends it anyway. But I've given up on that because she still sends my fiance computer manuals from the 80s to "help him further his career." I kinda figured this would happen.
  
  Then we are going to have to tell his aunt that she cannot bring her dog to the wedding. She carries it everywhere.
  
  Then we got an RSVP back from his cousin who thought that it would be perfectly fine to write in her fifteen year old daughter's on again off again boyfriend who we've never heard of. The invitation was correctly addressed to those invited. My fiance had to call his cousin and tell her that she could not invite people to our wedding. She said that her daughter will be pissed because her other daughter gets to bring her fiance. Um... She's twenty and engaged! Big difference there, Hannah Montana. She didn't even write the kid's name... She just put, "Daughter and ?." Then wrote "5 or 6" on the RSVP because she wasn't sure if they will be dating by then. Nope nope nope... Not happening.
  
  Ooh and the reason we sent out invitations this early is because his dad has been riding our asses for two months about them.
  
  I feel like everyone is trying to hijack my wedding.
  
  I keep telling myself that it will get fun again. And I think we should all just keep repeating that! :-) Have some wine! It helps. I'm going to be so drunk in the next 89 days.

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• IceQueenSupreme94 member

  

  July 2015

  January bride here and I'm already begging to just go to the court house and get it over with. My mother and grandmother (who is financing part of the wedding) are already arguing over the wedding even though its MY wedding (believe me I've tried to step in between and raise my voice.) That's just the beginning.

  

   

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• thespeshulestsnowflake member

  

  July 2015

  IceQueenSupreme94 said:

  January bride here and I'm already begging to just go to the court house and get it over with. My mother and grandmother (who is financing part of the wedding) are already arguing over the wedding even though its MY wedding (believe me I've tried to step in between and raise my voice.) That's just the beginning.

  

   

  Well if they are paying they get a say. If you want 100% control, pay for it yourself.

  

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• IceQueenSupreme94 member

  

  July 2015

  I've ended up deciding to pay more then half to get them off my back so its eased some of the strain. My mother isn't financing only my grandmother

   }

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• MissKittyDanger member

  

  July 2015

  I am so in with this board. I have 29 days left {Aug 1st!} and we just keep going "LET'S DO IT ALREADY"

  
  

  Excited as I am, I am just wanting it to be done. I know that morning I'll wake up beyond excited and calling FI going "GET UP WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!! ARE YOU DRESSED ARE YOU AWAKE EAT SOMETHING" out of sheer excitement it's actually here.

  
  

  Can July hurry up and MOOOOOVEE!?
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  July 2015

  I'm over the "OMG have you thought of this?! What about this?? You should do THIS!!!!!" No, I shouldn't, I should punch you in the throat instead so you can no longer voice these stupid ideas! They get so upset when I say, "Oh, that's a nice thought but not what I was going for" or whatever I say to try and be polite. My wedding isn't until October 2016 and I'm already past the niceties. I've gone from "Umm... I'll think about that, heh  :-/ " to "NO! Just, no! That's the tackiest thing I've ever heard!" It's going to be a long year...

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• frenchiekin member

  

  July 2015

  jgrace8611 said:

  I'm over the "OMG have you thought of this?! What about this?? You should do THIS!!!!!" No, I shouldn't, I should punch you in the throat instead so you can no longer voice these stupid ideas! They get so upset when I say, "Oh, that's a nice thought but not what I was going for" or whatever I say to try and be polite. My wedding isn't until October 2016 and I'm already past the niceties. I've gone from "Umm... I'll think about that, heh  :-/ " to "NO! Just, no! That's the tackiest thing I've ever heard!" It's going to be a long year...

  It's been almost 2 years of that for me and I literally just can't take it.  I feel like such a bitch when I (try to nicely) reject people's ideas because I know they are coming from a good place, but OMG STOP.  No, I don't want to put burlap on mason jars because my aunt just discovered Pinterest and it's just the cutest idea she's ever seen!  And no, I don't want to make flipbooks with an illustration of ourselves saying thank you as wedding favors.  This was an actual idea suggested to me.  FLIPBOOKS!  No.

  
  

  Saying "that sounds nice! We'll think about it" has slowly morphed into "yeahhhhh, that's not really what we're going for" - and even that I'm having trouble with.  Seeing the pained looks on people's faces like I've just insulted them on the deepest level just makes no sense to me - like I'm ruining their vision of my wedding.  What?

  
  

  
  

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• blushingbride8888 member

  

  July 2015

  Yeah I've lost my mind. Glad I'm not the only one. Yesterday Fi came home to me crying while doing addressing envelopes with the calligraphy I decided learning would be a good idea. I was crying because I wasn't done.

  It's not fun in case any of you ladies are considering it.

  Then we went to the tux store and the guy was driving me nuts. I'm asking questions like "what do people do for dads" "can fi wear this color tie?" he's too busy trying to sell us suspenders and an extra shirt in case the men sweat through theirs?

  I am losing my mind.

  

  
  

  

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• justsuzie member

  

  July 2015

  Hopefully this will be the only time in your life when you will have to deal with this type of stress.  If you don't want the stress, have a smaller wedding.  

  
  

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• vivelepunk member

  

  July 2015

  I understand, OP. I was pretty much "over it" before I married H, and we had the tiniest of tiny court house weddings.
  
  I think a large part of feeling that way was because once someone found out I was engaged, that was all they would talk about with me. It was like the rest of my personality just completely disappeared under my ring or something. It was sweet, but I got so sick of fending off tons of questions from friends, coworkers, random people who just met me, etc. I usually was able to give a dismissive answer, and then steer the conversation in a different direction. And then I'd get accused of not caring about my wedding. It's a double edged sword, apparently: no one wants you to talk about your wedding too much, but then you're obviously abnormal and uncaring if you'd rather talk about something else for ten minutes.
  
  One of the best things about being married is that no one asks me about the upcoming wedding!!
  

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• frenchiekin member

  

  July 2015

  vivelepunk said:

  I understand, OP. I was pretty much "over it" before I married H, and we had the tiniest of tiny court house weddings.
  
  I think a large part of feeling that way was because once someone found out I was engaged, that was all they would talk about with me. It was like the rest of my personality just completely disappeared under my ring or something. It was sweet, but I got so sick of fending off tons of questions from friends, coworkers, random people who just met me, etc. I usually was able to give a dismissive answer, and then steer the conversation in a different direction. And then I'd get accused of not caring about my wedding. It's a double edged sword, apparently: no one wants you to talk about your wedding too much, but then you're obviously abnormal and uncaring if you'd rather talk about something else for ten minutes.
  
  One of the best things about being married is that no one asks me about the upcoming wedding!!
  

  The bolded EXACTLY.  I've tried not to talk about my wedding with people (especially those that aren't invited), because I was paranoid about sounding wedding-obsessed and bridezilla-y (I'm one of those that have been dreaming about weddings since I was little and I've worked in the industry, so people expected it from me).  But then that's all anyone asks me about, every time I see them.  If I just give a "Everything's good, coming along!" response, they ask me if everything is okay, like I'm not excited about it or having second thoughts or something.  It's just weird to navigate.

  
  

  
  

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