Is this site literally just for people to cause drama?

snowywinter · July 2015

sylveonplath said:

Knottie1434918845 said:

This thread was in reference to the board in general, not just the Snark board. That was made obvious numerous times. Maybe figure that out before you bitch about me bitching? Just a thought.

There are plenty of wedding boards where everyone is required to praise each other and say nothing that even smacks of criticism, all free for you to join. The Knot is not one of those boards.

Who's looking for praise and nothing that even smacks of criticism? The majority of posters on TK, from what I have seen, are helpful and give advice in a way that I enjoy. It's a shame there are those few who haven't yet mastered the art of maturity and decorum. That's all I'm saying.

snowywinter · July 2015

banana468 said:

Knottie1434918845 said:

alexandducky412 said:

No, but this thread is.

No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

2. Hire a yes-man.

Or, people could simply be adults and offer their opinions in a mature and constructive way instead of telling people things like "grow up" or "your idea is fucking stupid." There is a certain way to offer a differing opinion, you know. Some people just haven't figured that out.

Yet on another board you told me to go look something up in a dictionary. So is it OK to be snarky to others but not snark at others? Please let me know what rules we should be following.

Telling you to look up consolation prize when you were twisting my words to attribute some meaning that doesn't exist to it in my post is not the nearly the same as telling someone looking for help "your idea is fucking stupid."

banana468 · July 2015

Knottie1434918845 said:

banana468 said:

Knottie1434918845 said:

alexandducky412 said:

No, but this thread is.

No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

2. Hire a yes-man.

Or, people could simply be adults and offer their opinions in a mature and constructive way instead of telling people things like "grow up" or "your idea is fucking stupid." There is a certain way to offer a differing opinion, you know. Some people just haven't figured that out.

Yet on another board you told me to go look something up in a dictionary. So is it OK to be snarky to others but not snark at others? Please let me know what rules we should be following.

Telling you to look up consolation prize when you were twisting my words to attribute some meaning that doesn't exist to it in my post is not the nearly the same as telling someone looking for help "your idea is fucking stupid."

Yup. Telling me to use a dictionary is "mature" and "constructive."

snowywinter · July 2015

It certainly is constructive when you twist my words due to your own ignorance about the word you're using. If you understood the concept of the word/phrase you used, it would lead to more meaningful discussion (hopefully) because you'd understand what I was saying instead of attributing whatever meaning you want to my posts.

AddieCake · July 2015

KyraGetsMarried said:

I've seen some negativity on here too... it's discouraging You ask a simple question and the response is basically "what a stupid thing to ask." I really hope that isn't status quo on here, and that I've just had the misfortune of coming across such posts by chance.

So you got your feelers hurt because I thought it was odd you would wonder if you could get a teacher discount from wedding vendors?

KayJayElle · July 2015

AddieCake said:

KyraGetsMarried said:

I've seen some negativity on here too... it's discouraging You ask a simple question and the response is basically "what a stupid thing to ask." I really hope that isn't status quo on here, and that I've just had the misfortune of coming across such posts by chance.

So you got your feelers hurt because I thought it was odd you would wonder if you could get a teacher discount from wedding vendors?

Don't flatter yourself, my feelings are doing just fine. And you're allowed to think whatever you want about a question that I asked. But the way you responded was dismissive and kind of rude. By the way, you'll be pleased to know that others I have asked have steered me toward some great discounts for members of my state's education association that extend far beyond school supplies... in fact, they even include -can you guess?- WEDDING stuff!

particuliersylphe · July 2015

I don't know, I think the boards in general have been a little less snarky for the past month or so. I have noticed there being more newer people becoming offended lately though. I mostly lurk, I've felt less lurky lately.

snowywinter · July 2015

particuliersylphe said:

I don't know, I think the boards in general have been a little less snarky for the past month or so. I have noticed there being more newer people becoming offended lately though. I mostly lurk, I've felt less lurky lately.

Maybe there are just more people willing to say it because they see others saying it. Just a thought.

AddieCake · July 2015

KyraGetsMarried said:

AddieCake said:

KyraGetsMarried said:

I've seen some negativity on here too... it's discouraging You ask a simple question and the response is basically "what a stupid thing to ask." I really hope that isn't status quo on here, and that I've just had the misfortune of coming across such posts by chance.

So you got your feelers hurt because I thought it was odd you would wonder if you could get a teacher discount from wedding vendors?

Don't flatter yourself, my feelings are doing just fine. And you're allowed to think whatever you want about a question that I asked. But the way you responded was dismissive and kind of rude. By the way, you'll be pleased to know that others I have asked have steered me toward some great discounts for members of my state's education association that extend far beyond school supplies... in fact, they even include -can you guess?- WEDDING stuff!

I wasn't flattering myself.You're the one who stated that it was discouraging when you ask a simple question and people act like it was stupid to ask. You even gave a sad face emoticon. So yeah, I'd say your feelers got hurt. Otherwise you wouldn't have said anything about it. But that's great that you found people to give you teacher discounts. I guess you showed me! (If it's true, of course). Good luck with the rest of your planning.

TrixieJess · July 2015

Hi, welcome to the SNARKY BOARD! Since some of you seem adverse to being asked to look up words in the Dictionary, basically this is a safe place for bitching and snark. If you want a soft envelope of kittens and love, maybe this isn't the right place for you. We tend to be blunt, to the point and if we see the same shit over and over again, a little bitchy.

Also, insulting Regs is not a good way to make an impression. You may want to lurk a little more and see how things work around here.

snowywinter · July 2015

TrixieJess said:

Hi, welcome to the SNARKY BOARD! Since some of you seem adverse to being asked to look up words in the Dictionary, basically this is a safe place for bitching and snark. If you want a soft envelope of kittens and love, maybe this isn't the right place for you. We tend to be blunt, to the point and if we see the same shit over and over again, a little bitchy.

Also, insulting Regs is not a good way to make an impression. You may want to lurk a little more and see how things work around here.

This thread isn't about the snarky board. I doubt anyone bitching is concerned about making an impression.

TrixieJess · July 2015

snowywinter said:

TrixieJess said:

Hi, welcome to the SNARKY BOARD! Since some of you seem adverse to being asked to look up words in the Dictionary, basically this is a safe place for bitching and snark. If you want a soft envelope of kittens and love, maybe this isn't the right place for you. We tend to be blunt, to the point and if we see the same shit over and over again, a little bitchy.

Also, insulting Regs is not a good way to make an impression. You may want to lurk a little more and see how things work around here.

This thread isn't about the snarky board. I doubt anyone bitching is concerned about making an impression.

This is a thread ON the SNARKY Board, ergo, SNARK ensues. Logic is not your forte, huh?

KayJayElle · July 2015

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

TrixieJess · July 2015

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

snowywinter · July 2015

TrixieJess said:

snowywinter said:

TrixieJess said:

Hi, welcome to the SNARKY BOARD! Since some of you seem adverse to being asked to look up words in the Dictionary, basically this is a safe place for bitching and snark. If you want a soft envelope of kittens and love, maybe this isn't the right place for you. We tend to be blunt, to the point and if we see the same shit over and over again, a little bitchy.

Also, insulting Regs is not a good way to make an impression. You may want to lurk a little more and see how things work around here.

This thread isn't about the snarky board. I doubt anyone bitching is concerned about making an impression.

This is a thread ON the SNARKY Board, ergo, SNARK ensues. Logic is not your forte, huh?

Faulty logic has never been my forte, unlike you apparently. This thread is on the snark board because it doesn't belong anywhere else as the OP is snarking on the forums in general. But the sentiment is NOT about this board. It's about the site and posters who carry their snark into every single board on TK.

AddieCake · July 2015

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

We will try to soldier on without you.

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

AddieCake said:

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

We will try to soldier on without you.

Wait...she doesn't feel sorry for our husbands??? But I didn't get a bingo!

TrixieJess · July 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

AddieCake said:

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

We will try to soldier on without you.

Wait...she doesn't feel sorry for our husbands??? But I didn't get a bingo!

Well she did GBCK for us, and there are enough SSs here that not only should you have Bingo, you should be damn drunk if you are doing shots too!

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

TrixieJess said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

AddieCake said:

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

We will try to soldier on without you.

Wait...she doesn't feel sorry for our husbands??? But I didn't get a bingo!

Well she did GBCK for us, and there are enough SSs here that not only should you have Bingo, you should be damn drunk if you are doing shots too!

I wish I was doing shots.

TrixieJess · July 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

TrixieJess said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

AddieCake said:

KayJayElle said:

Oh this is just ridiculous. Getting my feelings hurt and being discouraged that people aren't being constructive are two very different things. And whoever commented about insulting regs, does it seem like the only reason people post here is to "make a good impression?" Done. I'm going back to Wedding Wire, where people are actually helpful.

We will try to soldier on without you.

Wait...she doesn't feel sorry for our husbands??? But I didn't get a bingo!

Well she did GBCK for us, and there are enough SSs here that not only should you have Bingo, you should be damn drunk if you are doing shots too!

I wish I was doing shots.

The only way to get through some of these SS threads. Take a shot. It's why I carry a flask in my purse

AddieCake · July 2015

What I don't get is that she had another post where she DID get "helpful" advice. So she GBCKs because she has ONE bad reaction from someone on ONE question? Definitely need mittens to handle that one.

BouxRadley · July 2015

particuliersylphe said:

I don't know, I think the boards in general have been a little less snarky for the past month or so. I have noticed there being more newer people becoming offended lately though. I mostly lurk, I've felt less lurky lately.

No, it's definitely calmed down here, except for the posts created to cause drama. *points no fingers*

But really. All of these issues mentioned could've been solved by lurking for an extra few minutes before joining. Almost any "stupid question" you could ask can be found already answered. And sure, we're all bitches occasionally, but overall this is a really supportive group of bitches. Lurk and incorporate yourself before you call people out and you'll find this whole place is not what you seem to be accusing.

BouxRadley · July 2015

rrroxanne said:

getting people swearing at me over my simple question.

Also. Nobody swore AT you. We just like to fucking cuss.

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

BouxRadley said:

rrroxanne said:

getting people swearing at me over my simple question.

Also. Nobody swore AT you. We just like to fucking cuss.

Fucking QFT.

colasuda · July 2015

This whole thread is fucking adorable.

particuliersylphe · July 2015

BouxRadley said:

particuliersylphe said:

I don't know, I think the boards in general have been a little less snarky for the past month or so. I have noticed there being more newer people becoming offended lately though. I mostly lurk, I've felt less lurky lately.

No, it's definitely calmed down here, except for the posts created to cause drama. *points no fingers*

But really. All of these issues mentioned could've been solved by lurking for an extra few minutes before joining. Almost any "stupid question" you could ask can be found already answered. And sure, we're all bitches occasionally, but overall this is a really supportive group of bitches. Lurk and incorporate yourself before you call people out and you'll find this whole place is not what you seem to be accusing.

Hmmm? I was just observing that I don't think its as snarky lately, contrary to snowy whatever she changed her name to is saying. I've always lurked and commented here and there. I'm not trying to call anyone out or be a jerk...

BouxRadley · July 2015

particuliersylphe said:

Hmmm? I was just observing that I don't think its as snarky lately, contrary to snowy whatever she changed her name to is saying. I've always lurked and commented here and there. I'm not trying to call anyone out or be a jerk...

Tl:dr; I was agreeing. The pointing fingers nor second paragraph were in your direction.

MegEn1 · July 2015

I will say this to OP --

When I first started on the Knot and started posting things I was pretty floored with the wall of real talk that came my way. I had never really hosted a large event before, nor been a BM so I had never really thought about, well, how I should be thinking about these wedding things.

It took me several posts and some self-consideration before a big light bulb went off over my head.

For me, the grand realization was etiquette =/= opinion since all my questions were etiquette-based. Upon fully understanding that I realized that what people were telling me was REALLY FREAKING TRUE and needed to be said. Because it took so long for me to wrap my head around it, it needed to be said a lot and rather loudly.

Don't knock these people or this place. Log off for awhile and think about the advice that's been given to you. Note that the advice, in no matter what form it has taken, is pretty uniform -- everyone's saying the same thing in a different way. Surely there must be a reason for that. Really meditate on it. If you still feel the same way later, it's your wedding and you can do what you want to do. But maybe you'll start to see the wisdom in what these people are trying to tell you. And maybe you'll be a better bride and better friend for opening up your mind in this way.

I really think I am.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

MegEn1 said:

I will say this to OP --

When I first started on the Knot and started posting things I was pretty floored with the wall of real talk that came my way. I had never really hosted a large event before, nor been a BM so I had never really thought about, well, how I should be thinking about these wedding things.

It took me several posts and some self-consideration before a big light bulb went off over my head.

For me, the grand realization was etiquette =/= opinion since all my questions were etiquette-based. Upon fully understanding that I realized that what people were telling me was REALLY FREAKING TRUE and needed to be said. Because it took so long for me to wrap my head around it, it needed to be said a lot and rather loudly.

Don't knock these people or this place. Log off for awhile and think about the advice that's been given to you. Note that the advice, in no matter what form it has taken, is pretty uniform -- everyone's saying the same thing in a different way. Surely there must be a reason for that. Really meditate on it. If you still feel the same way later, it's your wedding and you can do what you want to do. But maybe you'll start to see the wisdom in what these people are trying to tell you. And maybe you'll be a better bride and better friend for opening up your mind in this way.

I really think I am.

I'm pretty sure I got bitch slapped the first time I asked a question back in the day (not my current account, so no need to look for it.) I got my feelers hurt and GBCK'd. Then I thought about it and decided they were right. I came back, lurked for a while, and started to participate.

particuliersylphe · July 2015

BouxRadley said:

particuliersylphe said:

Hmmm? I was just observing that I don't think its as snarky lately, contrary to snowy whatever she changed her name to is saying. I've always lurked and commented here and there. I'm not trying to call anyone out or be a jerk...

Tl:dr; I was agreeing. The pointing fingers nor second paragraph were in your direction.

Ah, gotcha.

Is this site literally just for people to cause drama?

Re: Is this site literally just for people to cause drama?

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