Changes After Marriage

MissKittyDanger · July 2015

Not married yet, but FI and I have lived and been together for just over 4yrs. I don't anticipate much changing. Funny enough, I actually asked my mum about this {her and my dad lived together before getting married also} She said not much changed, except feeling more "stable"

{she also admits to making the mistake of jumping into "wifey" role that is not her and my dad said it was weird. lmao}

madamerwin · July 2015

Only been married for less than a month, but I can say that for me, while nothing really changed physically after the wedding (we have lived together for 4 years, we combined finances last year, etc.), it does feel different. I really can't explain it, but something about being married feels very different than dating. Maybe it's knowing that we're really IN it now, that we are legally bound to each other, makes our relationship feel incredibly secure.

I had a ton of people tell me before the wedding that things will feel different after, and an equal number of people tell me nothing changes. I can see both perspectives, because for me, both everything changed and nothing changed.

wrigleyville · July 2015

Even though it's wrong for people to do this, I loved that people seemed to treat me with more respect when I referred to myself as his wife instead of his girlfriend. It was like we were taken more seriously when looking at condos, going to the hospital or doctor with each other, shopping for cars, etc.

That could be my own projection, though. I felt weird saying "boyfriend" in my mid-thirties. It sounds so young.

CMGragain · July 2015

wrigleyville said:

Even though it's wrong for people to do this, I loved that people seemed to treat me with more respect when I referred to myself as his wife instead of his girlfriend. It was like we were taken more seriously when looking at condos, going to the hospital or doctor with each other, shopping for cars, etc.

That could be my own projection, though. I felt weird saying "boyfriend" in my mid-thirties. It sounds so young.

The late Amy Vanderbilt said that "boyfriend" was an improper term. Someone was your "friend", and his/her sex was not relevant. I like her thinking!
DH and I were "friends" for 9 years, fiance/es for two months, and then husband and wife. I didn't even get my ring until a week before the wedding.

WinstonsGirl · July 2015

wrigleyville said:

Even though it's wrong for people to do this, I loved that people seemed to treat me with more respect when I referred to myself as his wife instead of his girlfriend. It was like we were taken more seriously when looking at condos, going to the hospital or doctor with each other, shopping for cars, etc.

That could be my own projection, though. I felt weird saying "boyfriend" in my mid-thirties. It sounds so young.

Totally got this from parents as a teacher, once I changed from Ms. to Mrs. (even though I didn't change my name). Even if I was the same age as them, it's like now that I was part of the married club, I could be taken seriously cos I was a real adult now. It was very subtle though, and no one was actually rude before I was married.

I don't mind Fiancé(e), but DH apparently thought it was pretentious but never told me. He then introduced me as his GF at one point which made me think he was embarrassed to be marrying me or something. I wasn't impressed until he told me he hated the word.

No changes for us when we got married, but the legal thing was the only thing that actually changed for us.

luckya23 · July 2015

The only different feeling I have lately is my left hand feels heavier!

hellohkb · July 2015

Thanks so much everyone for your replies so far

I really enjoyed reading through them. I'm very excited to share my own experience! I've just got a little over six months left to go!

Though I'll be honest, one of the things I'm most excited for is to say "husband" and not "fiance" or "boyfriend". We will have been together for over 9 years by the time we walk down the aisle, boyfriend just seems so "meh" at this point!

FiancB · July 2015

I saw a humans of new york post where someone talked about how she didn't really want to get married, but then once she was, she said it was nice to know that you are sworn to someone. I think that's a great way to put it. In our daily lives, nothing has changed, but it is most definitely much more than a piece of paper.

We've been together almost 3 years, married for 1, moved in after a few months.

Changes After Marriage

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