is this ok, or should we do something else?

[Deleted User] · July 2015

My wedding is over a year away, but I am a planner ( otherwise i won't get around to it til last minute) We have a small budget for the wedding ($6000) I found my dress for $50, I am a hairdresser and have had a few people approach me with ideas that they would do for nothing ( I would still "tip" them as a thank you) my friends mom is a seamstress and offered to alter the dress as needed for nothing. so I'm saving money right and left, Our venue, which is a spot we go to all the time and LOVE, has a small wedding option, 50 guest maximum (all good) with a ceremony, pictures flowers, officiant and a mini reception. The mini reception is where I'm a little worried, its Cake Cutting, First Dance, Punch, Champagne Toast, and Two Trays. These trays are fruit and veggie trays, the ceremony is going to be around 2 (Cannot be later then 3) is this ok, or should I look into a proper reception?

Maggie0829 · July 2015

A simple cake and punch reception, which is what that package is offering, is 100% appropriate, as long as it is something that you are going to be happy with. Your entire wedding will probably be no more then 3 hours, if it starts at 2pm, and really shouldn't go any longer then that because then you are getting into a meal time and will need to provide some heavier food.

But if you and your FI are happy with what you described for your wedding then you should go for it.

Also, IMO, I would nix the champagne toast and see if the cost of that could go towards another tray of food, like maybe a simple deli tray. I am not a fan of offering one glass of alcohol and then cutting it off. Also people are either champagne drinkers or they aren't so a lot of it may go to waste.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I asked and it didn't. I'm actually going to ask for sparkling cider, my FI is 2 years sober and I don't like champagne much. since its a very intimate gathering, I think its great but my friend is having the most elaborate wedding I've ever seen...I might just be letting that sway me. i think the ceremony plus reception and pictures is only about 2 hours total. Thank you so much for your reply. I don't know much ettiquette wise.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

I think switching out to cider is a great idea. You are 100% good on etiquette when it comes to hosting your guests correctly.

I can completely understand looking at other people's wedding plans and wondering if you should do this or that or something else. But just stay true to what will make you and your FI happy on the budget you have.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

BaileySanders said:

My wedding is over a year away, but I am a planner ( otherwise i won't get around to it til last minute) We have a small budget for the wedding ($6000) I found my dress for $50, I am a hairdresser and have had a few people approach me with ideas that they would do for nothing ( I would still "tip" them as a thank you) my friends mom is a seamstress and offered to alter the dress as needed for nothing. so I'm saving money right and left, Our venue, which is a spot we go to all the time and LOVE, has a small wedding option, 50 guest maximum (all good) with a ceremony, pictures flowers, officiant and a mini reception. The mini reception is where I'm a little worried, its Cake Cutting, First Dance, Punch, Champagne Toast, and Two Trays. These trays are fruit and veggie trays, the ceremony is going to be around 2 (Cannot be later then 3) is this ok, or should I look into a proper reception?

My only concern is the first dance. Normally a First Dance would be opening the dance floor for everyone else. If you're not having a dance, it seems weird for the two of you to have one dance then nobody else gets to dance.

And have more food. You don't need to offer an entire meal, but maybe something a bit more substantial like cheese and crackers.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

adk19 said:

BaileySanders said:

My wedding is over a year away, but I am a planner ( otherwise i won't get around to it til last minute) We have a small budget for the wedding ($6000) I found my dress for $50, I am a hairdresser and have had a few people approach me with ideas that they would do for nothing ( I would still "tip" them as a thank you) my friends mom is a seamstress and offered to alter the dress as needed for nothing. so I'm saving money right and left, Our venue, which is a spot we go to all the time and LOVE, has a small wedding option, 50 guest maximum (all good) with a ceremony, pictures flowers, officiant and a mini reception. The mini reception is where I'm a little worried, its Cake Cutting, First Dance, Punch, Champagne Toast, and Two Trays. These trays are fruit and veggie trays, the ceremony is going to be around 2 (Cannot be later then 3) is this ok, or should I look into a proper reception?

My only concern is the first dance. Normally a First Dance would be opening the dance floor for everyone else. If you're not having a dance, it seems weird for the two of you to have one dance then nobody else gets to dance.

And have more food. You don't need to offer an entire meal, but maybe something a bit more substantial like cheese and crackers.

I don't agree about the more food. She is having it at a non meal time and she said it is only going to be maybe 2 hours total so some veggies, fruit and cake is plenty for that length of time.

And yeah the first dance is to open the dance floor but I don't see a it as a huge thing if they do it and then no more dancing takes place. But heck the DJ (or if no DJ then just have some dance music downloaded to equal an hour or so) could play some dance type music for an hour and if people really feel the need to shake their ass they can.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

No DJ, we will have music and if people want to dance they can have at.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

This is OK if the reception would only go to around 4pm. Once you get around 4pm or later, people are going to get hungry and expect more food. I would consider letting guests know this is a cake and punch type reception. I know all the weddings I attend (regardless of time of day) generally involve a meal of some type. If I was accustom to this as a guest, and then showed up to only cake and veggie/fruit trays, I would be a little annoyed. You might want to give people the heads up so they remember to eat lunch.

QueerFemme · July 2015

I still think I'd add a cheese & cracker tray, or even something else savory, like pretzels or nuts. I'm a huge fan of fruit and cake and veggies, but crackers or pretzels are good for folks that may have skipped lunch or didn't realize it was a short, non-meal reception. And for 50 people, you can probably do it for $15-20.

MesmrEwe · July 2015

For 50 guests, you should be able to do a full meal for a $6000 budget. Not that you have to spend 100% of your budget, but you've got a reasonable amount of money to work with for that few number of guests. That said, it's what do YOU want the day to be. A cake and punch reception is perfectly fine as long as you're done/wrapped up by that 4/4:30 window.

Also, if your FI is 2 years sober and you're NAF of the toast option, chances are that's one area that they would do a NA option for the toast. It doesn't have to be sparkling cider, it could be some other NA type cocktail of some sort. You don't NEED alcohol to have a wedding, all you need to do is be sure that all of your guests are properly hosted.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I should add a good amount of my guests ( My side) will be flying in and I don't want them to think they spent all this money coming out and got...cheese. I already have a note on the invitation mock up explaining cake and punch will be served. I cannot bring in outside food. There is a Tea house on site and I've sent them an email ( they have their own mandatory caterer) and asked for a quote for the ceremony/reception to see if it works in my favor. If not then I was thinking about some event in the area (San Antonio has so much going on) like a boat tour or a sit down dinner later that night. I think I'm over thinking I just don't want anyone to be disappointed, or have my wedding come off looking cheap.

KnottieBoots · July 2015

The problem with taking everyone to an "event" straight after a cake-and-punch reception would be the fact that they haven't had a full meal yet. Rumbling tummies=cranky guests. Consider changing the venue to a restaurant that will let you have a ceremony, then do a full sit-down meal. If your heart's set on the tea room, take everyone someplace where they can get a meal afterward. Is there someplace in San Antonio where they can get a meal and a show? Even better.

is this ok, or should we do something else?

Re: is this ok, or should we do something else?

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