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Untraditional Wedding--Is this common?

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Re: Untraditional Wedding--Is this common?

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    BlueBirdMBBlueBirdMB member
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    Knottie30291358 said:




    These generally aren't things you can hire people for, such as communicating with guests. These aren't even obscure duties, as pretty much every result of a simple search will get you the same things. I don't see how this is controversial, as it's in the damn name. Bride's maid.

    Holy shit.  I saw that this post had blown up and I couldn't imagine why because I had read the OP's post, but holy shit.  

    You know who communicated with our guests?  The DOC the venue provided.  Done.  Otherwise, none of those things on this list are necessary. 
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    notdoingitbythebooknotdoingitbythebook member
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    I can't imagine making anyone follow that bizarre list of requirements. I have one person standing with me, a man, and I'm not expecting him to do any of that stuff. He wants to throw a bachelorette (well alternative to the gross penis, stripper, drunkeness nonsense) and he's doing some tasks day of, but he's not expected to be my slave. The most he's done is look at designs and tweaked them.

    As for the OP, eliminating all that stuff is just fine. I am putting a strict rule in for speeches, there will be no open mic because no one cares what most people have to say. I don't even want the five that we've cut it down to, but we're not sure how to get around having those (FOG, FOB, Best Man, Man of Honour, Us). We'll figure it out.

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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
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    Heffalump said:

    Knottie30291358 said:

    I don't see how this is controversial, as it's in the damn name. Bride's maid.

      I'll bet you believe hot dogs are made from dogs, too.  It's in the damn name.  Bless your heart, honey. 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited April 2015
    OP, do you WANT to have a very traditional wedding?

    Bride and groom get marriage license from courthouse.  They find an officiant and go through a marriage ceremony, usually at the bride's parents home where she, of course, lived until after the wedding.  Witnesses sign the license, too, often the bride's parents. Homemade cake and coffee is then served in the diningroom.

    This is how many people were married 100 years ago.  My grandmother told me that nobody had big weddings or was married in a church in HER day. (1917)  Large weddings were considered vulgar in her circles. An invitation to a wedding was a prized honor.  Of course she was a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant from the mid-west.  There are many other cultures that had different traditions.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    MJKloverMJKlover member
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    CMGragain said:

    OP, do you WANT to have a very traditional wedding?

    Bride and groom get marriage license from courthouse.  They find an officiant and go through a marriage ceremony, usually at the bride's parents home where she, of course, lived until after the wedding.  Witnesses sign the license, too, often the bride's parents. Homemade cake and coffee is then served in the diningroom.

    This is how many people were married 100 years ago.  My grandmother told me that nobody had big weddings or was married in a church in HER day. (1917)  Large weddings were considered vulgar in her circles. An invitation to a wedding was a prized honor.  Of course she was a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant from the mid-west.  There are many other cultures that had different traditions.




    Good point. Perhaps I should have specified that I was comparing the plans I have for our wedding to what I (as an American under 35 years of age who has attended several weddings but only in the South) have seen since I was a child at others' weddings. I've never spoken to anyone who was even close to 100 years old so I'm not familiar at all with what was customary back then. That's neat you were able to have this conversation with your grandmother.
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    MJKloverMJKlover member
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    hellosweetie1015 said:

    I always feel so bad for OPs when their totally reasonable post gets turned into a shitshow.




    This. So much this. I had no idea my post would end up like this. Not a lovely little post as I had hoped.
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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
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    Well you seem lovely to me @julie_shannon!
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    MJKloverMJKlover member
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    JennyColada said:

    Well you seem lovely to me @julie_shannon!




    Thanks!
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Only do what you want.

    Do make sure you have 2 people {usually it's MOH and Best Man} to sign the papers. Tbh, it can be anyone except parents. My friend had her brother sign hers.

    Otherwise, it is your day. If people have an issue, they may not attend. Oh well, should be a fun day for you anyways :)
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    mikenbergermikenberger member
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    @mrsspence87

    You are like the queen of resurrection of old posts. STOP.

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    MJKloverMJKlover member
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    mrsspence87 said:

    Only do what you want.


    Do make sure you have 2 people {usually it's MOH and Best Man} to sign the papers. Tbh, it can be anyone except parents. My friend had her brother sign hers.

    Otherwise, it is your day. If people have an issue, they may not attend. Oh well, should be a fun day for you anyways :)
    This must be a state-by-state issue because my mom signed my marriage license at my first wedding.
    mikenberger said:

    @mrsspence87


    You are like the queen of resurrection of old posts. STOP.
    QFT.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    MJKlover said:

    I am newly engaged so only in the very early stages of planning. I already know I am not interested in many of the typical wedding traditions (nothing against anyone who values these traditions--they just don't appeal to me). These are the following traditions/customs I would like to cut from our wedding:

    --No bridesmaids, maid of honor, best man, groomsmen, flower girls, etc.
    --The father-daughter dance
    --The couple's first dance
    --The tossing of the bouquet
    --The garter throwing bit
    --Speeches/toasts

    My fiancé and I envision our wedding/reception as a huge party and less ceremonial. I realize we can do whatever we want because it's our wedding (that we are paying for), but I'm curious how this will be perceived by our guests. And is any of this becoming more common? I should also mention I'm in the south so a lot of my guests are very conservative in their beliefs. I appreciate any feedback!

    I'm getting married in October and we have cut out all of this. We MIGHT have a first dance- I don't care so said I'd leave it up to fiance. He hasn't decided yet.

    I think it's fine. You're paying not your conservative relatives. When they pay, they can do what they want.

    Also, DON'T SAY ANYTHING BEFOREHAND about what you're cutting out. If they don't know, they can't bitch.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Heffalump said:

    Knottie30291358 said:

    I don't see how this is controversial, as it's in the damn name. Bride's maid.

      I'll bet you believe hot dogs are made from dogs, too.  It's in the damn name.  Bless your heart, honey. 
    And hamburgers are made from ham. No.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    This was a zombie thread? Damn you @mrsspence87...
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    FosmohFosmoh member
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    That sounds great to me! lol.

    As a guest i'd be cool with it.  given like others said it doesn't impact the guests in a bad way
    i find sometimes all these different traditions take up so much time and if the evening goes really late then some guests may leave early before stuff is done (like elderly guests or people with small babies left with a babysitter etc)

    Do what you want, enjoy your wedding :)
    And heck, save some money while you're at it by not stressing about details that may cost something and you don't even care for ;)
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    zombieeee - @emmaaa
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