Regretting having a big wedding

jenna8984 · July 2015

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

jenna8984 said:

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

Yeah, me neither. It's like, when my sister announced her engagement and my mom said, "Well, I only want to invite my bowling friends." And my sister went "WTF? I'm paying for my own damn wedding my own damn self, why the fuck do I need to invite your bowling friends who I've never met?"

julieanne912 · July 2015

adk19 said:

jenna8984 said:

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

Yeah, me neither. It's like, when my sister announced her engagement and my mom said, "Well, I only want to invite my bowling friends." And my sister went "WTF? I'm paying for my own damn wedding my own damn self, why the fuck do I need to invite your bowling friends who I've never met?"

I think the professional contacts thing stems from how weddings were back in the day. Basically the parents were putting on a big party, so it created an opportunity to entertain clients/colleagues. It kind of goes along with the idea of wives having to throw dinner parties to entertain coworkers/employers. Nowadays, there's less of that going on, but if hicoco's dad is paying for the wedding, that's probably how he's looking at it. I've got older family members that are still pretty traditional when it comes to things like that.

As for mom and her bowling friends, maybe she's worried she won't know anybody else at the wedding so she wants her closest friends there?

redheadbride15 · July 2015

julieanne912 said:

adk19 said:

jenna8984 said:

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

Yeah, me neither. It's like, when my sister announced her engagement and my mom said, "Well, I only want to invite my bowling friends." And my sister went "WTF? I'm paying for my own damn wedding my own damn self, why the fuck do I need to invite your bowling friends who I've never met?"

I think the professional contacts thing stems from how weddings were back in the day. Basically the parents were putting on a big party, so it created an opportunity to entertain clients/colleagues. It kind of goes along with the idea of wives having to throw dinner parties to entertain coworkers/employers. Nowadays, there's less of that going on, but if hicoco's dad is paying for the wedding, that's probably how he's looking at it. I've got older family members that are still pretty traditional when it comes to things like that.

As for mom and her bowling friends, maybe she's worried she won't know anybody else at the wedding so she wants her closest friends there?

Yeah, if the parents are paying they get to invite who they want I guess. My uncle is a bit of a traditional businessman type, and when my cousin got married he paid for the reception with about 250 guests and my cousin only knew half of them. Fast forward a few years to my wedding, which we paid for in its entirety, and there were only 60 guests (same circle of immediate family and close friends though!).

julieanne912 · July 2015

BTW if y'all haven't watched the original "Father of the Bride" from the 50s with Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor, you should. There's a very funny part where they're figuring out the guest list and Liz's mom is freaking out about inviting her gardening club.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

julieanne912 said:

adk19 said:

jenna8984 said:

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

Yeah, me neither. It's like, when my sister announced her engagement and my mom said, "Well, I only want to invite my bowling friends." And my sister went "WTF? I'm paying for my own damn wedding my own damn self, why the fuck do I need to invite your bowling friends who I've never met?"

I think the professional contacts thing stems from how weddings were back in the day. Basically the parents were putting on a big party, so it created an opportunity to entertain clients/colleagues. It kind of goes along with the idea of wives having to throw dinner parties to entertain coworkers/employers. Nowadays, there's less of that going on, but if hicoco's dad is paying for the wedding, that's probably how he's looking at it. I've got older family members that are still pretty traditional when it comes to things like that.

As for mom and her bowling friends, maybe she's worried she won't know anybody else at the wedding so she wants her closest friends there?

Nope. Mom knows everybody; our family, my sister's friends, and she spent the wedding getting to know my BIL's family and friends. The woman is not even a little bit shy. She wanted to use the wedding she wasn't paying for to show off to her bowling friends. I mean, it's fine if these are people you like, buy maybe a $30K wedding you're not paying for isn't the best place to introduce us all to each other.

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 · July 2015

jenna8984 said:

hicoco said:

julieanne912 said:

hicoco said:

I'm getting married in October. We've invited 436 people. It started at 375 and kept growing and I am getting VERY anxious about the size of it.

Holy shit that's a lot of people. I hope you have a wedding planner to help you?

@adk19, I know..by the time we get married we will have been engaged for 18 months and I've planned everything myself (with the help of my mom and my bff) so it wasn't really that bad, I am just worried about not getting to see everyone, talk to everyone, etc. We are doing a receiving line but I am hoping to not be stuck in it for 4 hours! My dad is one of 7, and I have 19 1st cousins and it just goes from there. My dad also had a lot of professional contacts he wanted to invite and FI and I have realized we just seem to have a lot of friends, which isn't a bad thing but obviously raises numbers.

I'm totally not trying to be rude or insulting to you or your father, but I have NEVER understood this concept. They don't know you, and aren't related to you, why would they ever feel the need to be there or be invited? Again, wasn't really a question directly at you hicoco, just in general I don't get it when anyone does that.

I know. I agree with you! My parents are paying 100% though so I didn't put up a huge fight. I've been hearing a lot of "We have to invite them, we were invited to their son/daughter's wedding 25 years ago". I am guessing most of those people won't come.

Regretting having a big wedding

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