So, my fiancé and I recently got engaged (yay!) and have picked a date and venue and are starting to fill in everything in between. This means, bridal parties, which has ... become tricky.
My fiancé has a huge number of friends. Rather than have twelve groomsmen or have to cut through people he cared about equally, he opted to stay small: his brother, my brother, and his closest friend from childhood.
Try as I might, I can't do three. Currently, I've settled on a very close cousin and four close friends. Two of the close friends, I roomed with in college. We also had a third roommate, and the four of us lived together throughout the years. The third roommate, "Betty", was never my favorite person. We've never talked about this, I've always been friendly with her, and I have no idea if she knows how I feel. Since graduation, she moved to the other coast and we've grown apart, talking occasionally and seeing each other a handful of times in five years.
I'm concerned that inviting the other two roommates to be bridesmaids will upset her, and possibly cause some uncomfortable conversation, or deep rift. I don't want to deeply hurt her feelings, I don't know what her expectations are towards the wedding, but I assume because we always did things as four, she would assume she would be a bridesmaid - and another friend has corroborated this.
The best alternative, I think, would be to ask Betty to help out at the wedding, but she's a bit flighty and stresses out easily, so I don't think coordination or handling any fine details, or speech making, is in the cards for her. Any suggestions?
I've heard you should select your bridal party carefully, think through who you really want to be there, and who's going to be a part of your life for the long run. She's not that for me ... but do I owe her bridesmaid spot due to our history and to keep from rocking the boat?