Biggest etiquette blunder of 2015?

hashtag43016 · July 2015

So we're pretty well into the wedding season of 2015, so I imagine most of us have either been invited to, or been to a wedding so far this year. I feel like we should all take the time to share the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far. Here's mine:

I wasn't able to attend a wedding I was invited to, so I selected several items that go together (drink dispenser, glasses, coasters, etc) off their registry and shipped it to them. I received the thank you card, and it was two lines in between the "Dear" and the "Love". And it said, "Thank you for your gift. We look forward to celebrating your wedding next year."

Yes ladies and gentleman, the words actually said "YOUR GIFT". I kid you not! I am still in shock, and because FI wasn't as appalled as I was, I had to share it with you guys.

I'm ready to hear what you all have had to experience (or opted out of experiencing) so far!

Who's got the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far?

Jen4948 · July 2015

If that's the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015, it sounds like most of your life has been blunder-free.

In all honesty: so what that they used the words "your gift" ? Did you want them to say "a bunch of items off our registry" or list an inventory of every single item?

Look, some people just aren't that articulate. Yeah, they could have said something other than "your gift," but you're making what seems to me a lot of unnecessary drama.

hashtag43016 · July 2015

Jen4948 said:

If that's the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015, it sounds like most of your life has been blunder-free. In all honesty: so what that they used the words "your gift" ? Did you want them to say "a bunch of items off our registry" or list an inventory of every single item? Look, some people just aren't that articulate. Yeah, they could have said something other than "your gift," but you're making what seems to me a lot of unnecessary drama.

No drama has been created at all. Am I uninviting people from the wedding? Am I threatening to send them a sample thank you note? Am I unfriending people on FB? Nope. I started a thread on TK interested in seeing other people's etiquette blunder's they've experienced, figuring it would give me a good chuckle because I know other people have experienced far worse.

And a proper thank you note doesn't require an English degree. It could include at least one of the gifts and "that they can't wait to use it." It's not that difficult to write a thoughtful thank you note, and it shows that hey this isn't just a batch of notes they wrote last year, scribbled my name on it and sent it out.

ETA-grammar. Because I also don't have an English degree.

dramamonkey · July 2015

DH and I have a wedding to attend next month with a gap. I know it will be an amazing wedding other than that....but we have about 3-4 hours to kill. Hotel nap time I guess.

snowywinter · July 2015

I think you're being melodramatic here. I agree with Jen. Sure, they could have been specific, but it's hardly a "biggest etiquette blunder." When I opened the thread, I thought I was going to read about a pot luck wedding reception or about a bride handing out autographed photos of herself to her bridesmaids as their "gifts." Not mentioning your specific gift in the thank you card doesn't really rank up there.

MesmrEwe · July 2015

hashtag42316 said:

"Thank you for your gift. We look forward to celebrating your wedding next year."

Yes ladies and gentleman, the words actually said "YOUR GIFT". I kid you not! I am still in shock, and because FI wasn't as appalled as I was, I had to share it with you guys.

I'm ready to hear what you all have had to experience (or opted out of experiencing) so far!

Who's got the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far?

I can top that... 100% was "Thanks for the stuff! B&G"... But agree with the others, not everyone is articulate as they should be on the TY notes, but we considered the source, laughed, and moving on... I should add that "Stuff" was about $150 worth...

hashtag43016 · July 2015

Okay guys, I totally understand how it could come off as me being dramatic and that was definitely not the goal. I was mostly interested in hearing OTHER people's etiquette blunders they've experienced, knowing very well that mine was going to be topped. I didn't say mine was the biggest, I was just wondering who had the biggest. This is what I've experienced so far this year, but we still have a few weddings to go to, so who knows what else will pop up. Maybe this will become a zombie thread and I can thrill you with a crazy B-list story in three months.

@mesmrewe haha that's crazy. I guess it's just insane to me, because as a child my mom drilled into me the importance of a good thank you card. I remember being sat down after birthdays to write thank you cards to my family and friends.

@dramamonkey gaps are the worst!! Maybe just follow the B&G around saying you weren't sure what to do, so you figured you could just hang out with them.

ETA: how am I this bad at grammar tonight and uv had no alcohol in me? Good gravy.

IrishPirate60 · July 2015

Newly-married couple had planned a couple nights of honeymoon in a downtown hotel, but had to give it up after the fight in the parking lot during the reception. Some of those involved with the fight had volunteered to watch the couple's kids for a few days, but drinking and fighting weren't a good recommendation.

Jen4948 · July 2015

hashtag42316 said:

Jen4948 said:

If that's the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015, it sounds like most of your life has been blunder-free.

In all honesty: so what that they used the words "your gift" ? Did you want them to say "a bunch of items off our registry" or list an inventory of every single item?

Look, some people just aren't that articulate. Yeah, they could have said something other than "your gift," but you're making what seems to me a lot of unnecessary drama.

No drama has been created at all. Am I uninviting people from the wedding? Am I threatening to send them a sample thank you note? Am I unfriending people on FB? Nope. I started a thread on TK interested in seeing other people's etiquette blunder's they've experienced, figuring it would give me a good chuckle because I know other people have experienced far worse.

And a proper thank you note doesn't require an English degree. It could include at least one of the gifts and "that they can't wait to use it." It's not that difficult to write a thoughtful thank you note, and it shows that hey this isn't just a batch of notes they wrote last year, scribbled my name on it and sent it out.

ETA-grammar. Because I also don't have an English degree.

Unfortunately, I and everyone else here don't have any way of knowing what you have in mind with your post other than the actual content of the original post. Nothing about it suggests that you were looking for a humorous reaction to it or taking a light-hearted tone to the incident you describe in it. If either of those are the case, your subject line is very misleading.

It still seems to me like you're making far too big a deal out of getting a thank-you note that refers to "your gift" instead of mentioning the specific items or containing other, more flowery expressions of gratitude. That's hardly "the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015."

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Got invited to a wedding about 5 hours away... Wedding start time 2.... cocktail hour start time 6... Dinner time 7. We did not attend.

Maggie0829 · July 2015

I haven't been invited to any weddings and I am over the moon happy about it.

AddieCake · July 2015

I only went to one wedding in 2015.There was a Honeyfund, a groomsman replaced the night before, and the "please no pictures;we want you to be in the moment" announcement on the website, and the couple never came to our table during table visits.

climbingsingle · July 2015

I'm failing to see the etiquette blunder in the OP. So what if she wrote "your gift"? She gave you a hand-written personalized thank you note. I still haven't received a TY for a wedding I attended in May. It's been almost 3 months. That irritates me. I wouldn't call it a huge blunder though.

They did have a HM fund though.

STARMOON44 · July 2015

That sounds like a nice note? They even mention a life event important to you and that they are looking forward to celebrating it!

banana468 · July 2015

That's more like someone who just doesn't do a great job at writing TY notes. But at least a note was written. It's hardly a big blunder.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I'm invited to a PPD this year, but wasn't invited to the actual wedding last year. There was a small registry included with the invitation. I suspect there to be a cash bar.

A couple years ago I was a BM in a wedding with a cash bar, and never received any type of thank you card for the gifts I purchased (I sent both an engagement gift and wedding gift), or for participating in the wedding. She may have sent an email thanking me for the wedding gift, but that's it. That was definitely the worst, so all in all not that bad.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Oh another I thought of. I am a member of a FB group for my area... there are ALWAYS questions about how do you invite people to the dance only because they can't afford to feed everyone. People give them legit ideas and heaven for bid you say it's rude. If someone did this to me my response to them would be to Kick rocks.

cupcait927 · July 2015

Honestly, OP, I'm pretty sure most of the TY notes that H wrote were worded similarly. I died on that hill because at least he was writing them, which was a battle in and of itself. I didn't check them over because all of his were just going to his family. At least you got a note. I went to a bridal shower in February and then the wedding in March and have not received a TY note for either gift. It was also a cash bar, which makes that sting a little more.

pinkcow13 · July 2015

I'm not sure if this is an actual etiquette blunder per se, but it definitely is MAJOR side-eye worthy.

We went to a wedding this past weekend, and one of the bride's friends wore white. Not just a regular white dress, a tiny, tight, lace white dress. Topped with a flower crown. Oh, and she also asked the Bride's boss - whom she never met before in her life - for a ride home.

Oooh, and a wedding we went to in April did not have enough chairs at the reception. They only put out chairs for the elderly and disabled. So half the room had like 4 tables and centerpieces with chairs, the other half had hightops without any chairs.

TrixieJess · July 2015

hashtag42316 said:

So we're pretty well into the wedding season of 2015, so I imagine most of us have either been invited to, or been to a wedding so far this year. I feel like we should all take the time to share the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far. Here's mine:

I wasn't able to attend a wedding I was invited to, so I selected several items that go together (drink dispenser, glasses, coasters, etc) off their registry and shipped it to them. I received the thank you card, and it was two lines in between the "Dear" and the "Love". And it said, "Thank you for your gift. We look forward to celebrating your wedding next year."

Yes ladies and gentleman, the words actually said "YOUR GIFT". I kid you not! I am still in shock, and because FI wasn't as appalled as I was, I had to share it with you guys.

I'm ready to hear what you all have had to experience (or opted out of experiencing) so far!

Who's got the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far?

Bwahahahahahahaha...I'm still waiting for a Thank You card for a wedding that I was IN from 2003 (they're divorced now) never mind, "your gift", as well as one from the wedding FI and I went to last fall.

sparklepants41 · July 2015

DH & I went to a wedding this year where 80-90% of the guests were from OOT (at least a 2-hour flight). There was a head table, where WP members were not seated with their SO, regardless of whether or not their SO was in the WP. DH never met the groom - neither the groom nor members of his family spoke to/greeted anyone outside of their family & the bride's parents.

This was the same wedding where there was no assigned seating, so people from the groom's side were saving seats, which resulted in couples, including elderly couples, on the bride's side not being able to sit with each other.

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

We went to a wedding early in the summer where there wasn't enough seating for the guests at the ceremony. There were about 80 seats and 300+ guests. BF just sat at the bar (it was at a country club) while I sat with my family.

hashtag43016 · July 2015

AddieCake said:
I only went to one wedding in 2015.There was a Honeyfund, a groomsman replaced the night before, and the "please no pictures;we want you to be in the moment" announcement on the website, and the couple never came to our table during table visits.

How do you replace someone the day before!? That is truly awful!!

sparklepants41 · July 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

We went to a wedding early in the summer where there wasn't enough seating for the guests at the ceremony. There were about 80 seats and 300+ guests. BF just sat at the bar (it was at a country club) while I sat with my family.

Your BF had the right idea - I would have been at the bar too!

thespeshulestsnowflake · July 2015

sparklepants41 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

We went to a wedding early in the summer where there wasn't enough seating for the guests at the ceremony. There were about 80 seats and 300+ guests. BF just sat at the bar (it was at a country club) while I sat with my family.

Your BF had the right idea - I would have been at the bar too!

I had a beer from the bar with me, so I was good. I was being totally classy drinking a beer in the second row.

The open bar wasn't open at this point, so we were paying at that point.

thisismynickname2 · July 2015

Where I'm from gaps are very common. If I declined on principle I'd never witness another wedding. One recent wedding had a gap and insufficient seating for the reception, but at least the others were spot-free.

Later this year I'm going to be seated at a head table without DH. Sigh.

MesmrEwe · July 2015

thisismynickname said:

Where I'm from gaps are very common. If I declined on principle I'd never witness another wedding. One recent wedding had a gap and insufficient seating for the reception, but at least the others were spot-free.
Later this year I'm going to be seated at a head table without DH. Sigh.

That's the case here too - primarily because a lot of them in our family are at Catholic Churches which dictate what time the ceremony can be, not really the couple's "choice" of time because of Vigil Mass on Saturday evenings. Others it's because there's at least a half-hour of travel between the ceremony and the reception site (small towns are limited on what's available)..

arrrghmatey · July 2015

Went to a wedding this summer which was OOT for everyone and it was miserably hot outside (110 degrees). Bride and Groom arranged a shuttle to take everyone from the chapel to the restaurant for the reception after the ceremony, but there was not enough room on the shuttle. Since everyone was OOT, about 7 or 8 guests had to take a taxi to the reception and back.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Oh goodness...I am torn between the wedding with the dessert reception that was held over the dinner hour where guests had to wait for two hours for the bridal party to return from pictures and during that time the punch ran out or the wedding where the bride and groom put out cups for guests to put money in with the winner (it was the bride) being able to smash cake in the other one's face during the cake cutting.

julieanne912 · July 2015

hashtag42316 said:

So we're pretty well into the wedding season of 2015, so I imagine most of us have either been invited to, or been to a wedding so far this year. I feel like we should all take the time to share the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far. Here's mine:

I wasn't able to attend a wedding I was invited to, so I selected several items that go together (drink dispenser, glasses, coasters, etc) off their registry and shipped it to them. I received the thank you card, and it was two lines in between the "Dear" and the "Love". And it said, "Thank you for your gift. We look forward to celebrating your wedding next year."

Yes ladies and gentleman, the words actually said "YOUR GIFT". I kid you not! I am still in shock, and because FI wasn't as appalled as I was, I had to share it with you guys.

I'm ready to hear what you all have had to experience (or opted out of experiencing) so far!

Who's got the biggest etiquette blunder of 2015 so far?

Well shit, I committed an etiquette blunder according to you. I received a gift off my registry a few months ago. It was literally a hodge podge of kitchen stuff from my Amazon registry... a sheet pan, a cast iron griddle, some strainers, kitchen shears, and a set of mixing bowls. I did not list each item individually in the thank you note, which I sent the day after receiving the gift. I said "kitchen gear". *gasp*

julieanne912 · July 2015

Worst one I've had was never getting a thank you for a contribution to a honeyfund. Wedding was over a year ago and they haven't gone on a honeymoon yet either.

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