I don't know how to handle this, we have 17 months to go still.
Long story short: FMIL and FFIL were married for 7 years and were divorced before FI was 1. FFIL moved on and remarried quickly. He then divorced. FMIL made a pass at him, he became engaged to FSMIL (future step mother in law?). They have now been married for 22 years and their son, FI's brother is a GM. FMIL and her whole family are professional grudge holders and haven't forgiven FFIL (still not really sure what he needs forgiveness for lol).
Here are her demands (not exaggerating use of the word in order from least to most offensive)
- Snowflakes in the window (no this is not a kindergarten classroom)
- Christmas Tree as decoration (I wouldn't object if the hall usually put one up but they don't, end of story)
- Poinsettia centerpieces (even though we're not doing "Christmas" theme)
- Great Aunts being invited (we knew that was coming and made room for them - there's only 3)
- She wants us to tell her what she needs to pay for. We keep saying anything you want to contribute is generous and appreciated but we will not ask for anything.
- Her name leading the invitation (we're 35, both sets of parents are divorced, and while his parents are making contributions, we're paying for 75% of the wedding ourselves and planned for zero parental names)
- FFIL must pay for Rehearsal Dinner
- FSMIL must sit in the fourth row while FFIL sits in the first.
FI tried to discuss these with her and what our plans actually were. She has agreed to come over and view the budget and hall photos with me so we can "plan together." And then she said FI was being "cocky and unsurly" for not taking her ideas into consideration.