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Addressing STDs and Invitations

Knottie79677578Knottie79677578 member
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edited August 2015 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hi all,
Here is an etiquette question for you.

How do I address a STD/invitation to a couple that does not live together? The girl is my best friend/bridesmaid and her boyfriend is obviously just a guest. Is it rude for me to list the female first in this case since she's really the person I'm inviting?

example:
Ms. Bridesmaid BFF
Mr. Bridesmaid's BF
123 56th St.
NY, NY 12345

Please advise....
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Re: Addressing STDs and Invitations

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    That is how I would do it, yes.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    It's fine to put a woman first. In the case of not actually living together, I'd always put the person who lives at the address first for post office reasons. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    What on earth is an STD/invitation?  If a couple does not live at the same address, then  you should send them each their own invitation.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    CMGragain said:
    What on earth is an STD/invitation?  If a couple does not live at the same address, then  you should send them each their own invitation.

    @CMRagain, I believe she was asking about them individually respectively.

    And probably in many cases, addresses for SOs who don't live with the guests they're being invited with won't be available.

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    CMGragain said:
    What on earth is an STD/invitation?  If a couple does not live at the same address, then  you should send them each their own invitation.
    I believe OP is asking about both a STD and an invitation. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    I hope so.  We had a bride recently who wanted to send out her destination wedding STD/invitations out as one mailing.  She couldn't accept that they were not the same thing.

    As for the address question, if you invite someone to your wedding, it is up to you to get their address information.  Otherwise, they are just a plus one.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    CMGragain said:
    I hope so.  We had a bride recently who wanted to send out her destination wedding STD/invitations out as one mailing.  She couldn't accept that they were not the same thing.

    As for the address question, if you invite someone to your wedding, it is up to you to get their address information.  Otherwise, they are just a plus one.
    And this is where the rest of us disagree with CMGr.  She's very accurately old-school and will give you the official Ms Manners answer that doesn't account for modern day relationship dynamics.  

    The rest of us say that it's fine to mail one invitation to two people together who do not live at the same address.  Personally I'd find it very strange to get my own personal invitation to a wedding of my FH's buddy just because FH and I didn't share an address.  FH is perfectly capable of receiving an invitation for both of us at his address and telling me about it.  I don't need my own invite.  In fact, I'd think it was rude because it would look like we were each being invited Without Our Significant Other.
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  • Knottie79677578Knottie79677578 member
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    Thanks to all who replied! This was very helpful!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    adk19 said:
    CMGragain said:
    I hope so.  We had a bride recently who wanted to send out her destination wedding STD/invitations out as one mailing.  She couldn't accept that they were not the same thing.

    As for the address question, if you invite someone to your wedding, it is up to you to get their address information.  Otherwise, they are just a plus one.
    And this is where the rest of us disagree with CMGr.  She's very accurately old-school and will give you the official Ms Manners answer that doesn't account for modern day relationship dynamics.  

    The rest of us say that it's fine to mail one invitation to two people together who do not live at the same address.  Personally I'd find it very strange to get my own personal invitation to a wedding of my FH's buddy just because FH and I didn't share an address.  FH is perfectly capable of receiving an invitation for both of us at his address and telling me about it.  I don't need my own invite.  In fact, I'd think it was rude because it would look like we were each being invited Without Our Significant Other.
    Thank you @adk19!  I am taking this as a very nice compliment!  Feel free to politely disagree with me any time.  Sometimes I am wrong.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    CMGragain said:
    adk19 said:
    CMGragain said:
    I hope so.  We had a bride recently who wanted to send out her destination wedding STD/invitations out as one mailing.  She couldn't accept that they were not the same thing.

    As for the address question, if you invite someone to your wedding, it is up to you to get their address information.  Otherwise, they are just a plus one.
    And this is where the rest of us disagree with CMGr.  She's very accurately old-school and will give you the official Ms Manners answer that doesn't account for modern day relationship dynamics.  

    The rest of us say that it's fine to mail one invitation to two people together who do not live at the same address.  Personally I'd find it very strange to get my own personal invitation to a wedding of my FH's buddy just because FH and I didn't share an address.  FH is perfectly capable of receiving an invitation for both of us at his address and telling me about it.  I don't need my own invite.  In fact, I'd think it was rude because it would look like we were each being invited Without Our Significant Other.
    Thank you @adk19!  I am taking this as a very nice compliment!  Feel free to politely disagree with me any time.  Sometimes I am wrong.
    It was meant as a compliment.  I like that someone around here will give us a By The Book answer even if it doesn't always jive with our exact needs.  You definitely know your stuff.
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