Dear Prudence,
I’m a 32-year-old, good-looking male in a stable, monogamous relationship of a year with a woman I hope to marry one day. A few months ago she moved to another city for work, a situation that will last for about a year. Our sex life is amazing when we’re together and I do not usually feel tempted to flirt with other women. However, three weeks ago I went on a business trip to a country where prostitution is ubiquitous. I paid for sex with a professional sex worker. It was great fun, much like a good back massage or other spa service. I do not plan to look for an escort here at home. As a matter of principle, I hope I will not do this again. Still, I struggle to think of transactional sex as a big deal if it happens exceedingly rarely. I should mention I was unfaithful in past relationships when I was much younger and inexperienced. Then for several years I had only casual relationships and so feel much happier committing to my girlfriend knowing that I have seen what’s out there. Should I feel bad about what I did? Should I tell my girlfriend (and why)? Would you advise her to leave me?
—It’s Not Cheating if You Paid for It