Going on vacation without DH...should I?

TheCheeseWench · August 2015

Your DH is being unreasonable. I would absolutely go on a longstanding family trip if he didn't want to go. My FI would be fine with it. It would be totally different if he were not invited, but since the decision not to go was his, he doesn't get to pressure you not to go. About 5 months after I married exH 10 years ago, I went to Hawaii with my parents for a week. It was a free trip that came up at the last minute, and I stayed on a rollaway in their room. DH was happy for me to go, because he was extra busy at work due to a new location opening, so he knew that I wouldn't see much of him that week anyway. Sounds like your situation, where you would only see him in passing those days. He needs to be a big boy and understand that there is nothing wrong with you spending this time with your fam. He should be happy that it is getting done without him having to participate since you said he wasn't interested in hanging with them.

vikinganna87 · August 2015

I love to travel and H is more of a homebody or I should say "work-on-the-home" body. Not really a vacation, but since I have some time off before my new job today I'm taking Rufus the dog to an island on Lake Champlain. It's a 4+ hr drive and we're gone for 2 nights. I feel a little guilty that I'm not packing up the condo, working on the house or something else productive but not guilty enough not to go. My new job involves a lot of travel, so hopefully I can get incorporate some sight seeing on trips. Otherwise I envision a lot of solo trips or family + friend trips in my future. As long as we communicate clearly about it in advance and I don't dump a whole bunch of chores on him I think it's okay. Conversely I would love it if he took a trip with his family or buddies while I chilled at home.

madamerwin · August 2015

Though it's rare we actually vacation separately, H is always encouraging me to go on vacation without him... He works for an airline, so we fly for free (on standby), and he doesn't think I take advantage of that benefit enough. He also works at least one weekend day every week, so we can't go on many weekend trips together.

I imagine if a trip came up and he couldn't attend, he would push me to go alone. Granted, I would find it odd if one of us went on a family vacation without even inviting the other (though I know that's not the case here), but neither of us would have a problem with just one of us going on a trip if the other couldn't/didn't want to go.

ChemFanatic25 · August 2015

hellohkb said:

Not weird at all. I'm not married yet but even being engaged I went to Key West with my family. If the opportunity came up again I would go.

**Boxes??**

My boyfriend just got back from a vacation that was 10 days long. He does this every year where he joins some good guy friends from high school at one of the friend's parent's beach house. No SO's are invited. Totally fine with me. There was actually a thread a little while ago discussing enjoying time away from our SO's. I was so busy and really enjoyed the time I had to myself plus it made me appreciate the time I do spend with my BF. ANYWAY (sorry tangent) I didn't think it was weird at all. I would have been put off if all other SO's were invited but not me but that was not the case. I had a friend say this was weird but it's not. Everyone needs relaxing time and sometimes it means the SO can't join you. No biggie.

anjemon · August 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

hellohkb said:

Not weird at all. I'm not married yet but even being engaged I went to Key West with my family. If the opportunity came up again I would go.

**Boxes??**

My boyfriend just got back from a vacation that was 10 days long. He does this every year where he joins some good guy friends from high school at one of the friend's parent's beach house. No SO's are invited. Totally fine with me. There was actually a thread a little while ago discussing enjoying time away from our SO's. I was so busy and really enjoyed the time I had to myself plus it made me appreciate the time I do spend with my BF. ANYWAY (sorry tangent) I didn't think it was weird at all. I would have been put off if all other SO's were invited but not me but that was not the case. I had a friend say this was weird but it's not. Everyone needs relaxing time and sometimes it means the SO can't join you. No biggie.

Sometimes no SOs is just easier. I know my H gets SUPER bored when my college friends and I all talk about people he doesn't know and things he didn't do. Sometimes I'd rather hang out with them without worrying about how bored H will be. And I would guess the reverse is true for H too.

emmaaa · August 2015

I'm actually on vacation right now without DH, I'm with his family. We got down Saturday and he'll be here tomorrow. We normally try to go on vacations together because we don't take vacations very often. However, we do girls/guys trips about once a year for a long weekend and DH couldn't get off work the whole week. I hate not spending time with him but sometimes alone time is good. I think if there was a heads up/discussion about it, then it's no big deal.

Going on vacation without DH...should I?

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