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What do I do about my aggressive dudebro brother?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
My older, late-20s brother is a good-looking, athletic man who’s good with the ladies and professionally successful, which has allowed him to develop a bro-ish cocky attitude over the years. He is also an adrenaline junkie, and about a year and a half ago he suffered a serious mountain biking accident that led to losing a testicle and affected his ability to sustain an erection for a few months. Even though he healed up just fine with no impact to his testosterone level or his ability to reproduce, he has become significantly more insecure and aggressively jealous of me because, I believe, he sees me, his younger brother whom he grew up teasing, as now being more of a man than he is. At first the jealousy remained verbal when he would make snide remarks about my ability to satisfy my girlfriend. But recently, he’s adopted the practice of hitting me in the nuts by surprise whenever we’re together and then saying things like how I should be able to take it if I were a real man. It’s become so frequent that I physically stay away from my brother when we’re in the same space. I don’t want to be in pain, literally, every time I hang out with my brother but how do I tell him to stop without making him feel upset and depressed about what happened to him? It’s a sensitive topic for everyone in the family but I seem to be getting the brunt of his anger. Help!

—Punching Bag
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Re: What do I do about my aggressive dudebro brother?

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    If ever there was a time to use your words...
    �
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  • aliwis000aliwis000 member
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    I am sorry that this bother went through and accident and now has a life long change to deal with. However, that does not give him the right to lash out verbally and especially not physically at anyone. That behavior is unacceptable from an adult no matter what they went through.

    I would firmly tell the brother that I love him and want him to seek help for his issue. I would offer him support and help him find someone to talk to if needed. However, I would also say that until he can promise that his insults and physical abuse will stop I would no longer be physically around him anymore and limit my contact with him completely.

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    You don't violate anyone's body space and especially not their genital space.  That's so fundamentally wrong.

    I'm not sure I can give a rational, well thought out answer to this.  I don't get why brother's feelings are so much more important that everyone in the family is fine with brother A hitting brother B in his genitals.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Threaten to press charges against him for assault and battery if he doesn't knock it off.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    I'd start wearing a cup on the regular and let brother hurt his hand for hitting my nuts!  I know the cup wouldn't end brother's pain when he is hit, but it would minimize it.  I'd get a nice cast iron one, if available!
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    LOL - get the name of a good plastic surgeon and suggest his brother go in for an implant...  In jest a little, but really - no different than for women when they've lost a breast...


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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    A college friend of mine had testicular cancer and lost one of his balls. I'm happy that he's taken the path of using humor to cope rather than punching other guys in the balls. 
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
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    MesmrEwe said:

    LOL - get the name of a good plastic surgeon and suggest his brother go in for an implant...  In jest a little, but really - no different than for women when they've lost a breast...


    entirely different. a man's testes are not a publicly visible thing.
    image
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  • GBCKGBCK member
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    well, they make implants for dogs for this, surely they do for people
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    hmonkey said:
    MesmrEwe said:

    LOL - get the name of a good plastic surgeon and suggest his brother go in for an implant...  In jest a little, but really - no different than for women when they've lost a breast...


    entirely different. a man's testes are not a publicly visible thing.
    But still a visual for being "complete" while naked for the individual. 
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
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    Just no!
    image
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