Names!

heatherfitz · March 2012

What is everyone doing for names? Taking your husband's last name? Keeping yours? Switching up some middles and maidens?

CFM102012 · March 2012

I'm thinking on just making my maiden name a second middle name. I like my middle name so I don't want to drop that. I don't want to hyphenate but i want to somehow keep my maiden name in there somewhere yet still take his. I never understood why some women would choose to not take their husbands name, until it came time to consider losing mine. Now I understand completely.

heatherfitz · March 2012

same here. my name is my identity. it's who i am and the life i've created. it took a lot for me to decide to take my husband's last name. now i just want to figure out how to keep my maiden. i'm thinking about the double middle name as well, or at least maiden as new middle.

snuff9861 · March 2012

I love my maiden name and it's a lot more unique then FI's. I dont know how it works in the States but in Ontario anyways if you "assume" FI's last name you can easily change it on your driver's license and health card. No biggie it's a form you fill out and a cheque to write. If you hyphenate (and I assume adding maiden as middle would also fall under this) you are legally changing your name and have to be reissued a new birth certificate and SIN card. FI wants me to change my name, but I havent decided yet.

irishangieb · March 2012

I'm going the route of the two middle name thing and taking his last name, but I still haven't decided 100%. I can say that when I even suggested that I may not take his last name, everyone called me crazy. Just like PP said, I could never understand why someone wouldn't until it was my turn. My middle name is the same at my mom's, her mom's, her mom's mom....you get the idea. But as a PP said, my name is who I am. I even have a little saying for it that I've said since I was little. Seems strange to just give it up and become someone else.

ivedonethisb4 · March 2012

I refuse to drop my middle name or my last name. My middle name is mine, my moms, my neices, part of my sisters name and hopefully if I have a daughter ever part of hers, oh and a cousins too. I am the only child of my deceased father and I refuse to drop that part of me...the onlu thing I have from him. I also want to take FI's name because that's what you do when you marry! You become family.

Simply_Caitlin · March 2012

I'm taking his last name. My middle name is my great grandma's name and my niece's middle name (which she was given to match me) so I'm just dropping my last name. It doesn't make me any less a part of my family so I'm not worried about it. Maybe I'm just traditional. I have an italian last name and I'm changing it to one of the most common, easy last names, so I won't always have to spell it for everyone! Woohoo!

RockstarWifey0912 · March 2012

I am fully taking FI's last name- it's easier to spell and pronounce than my maiden!

But our son has both of our last names (FI's then Mine, hyphenated) and I'm so used to saying his full name that I'm not sure if we'll rush to change it to just FI's or leave it for now. We have to make a decision before DS turns 5 and starts school, so we have about 2 and a half years....... meh.

nani1012 · March 2012

I'm pretty sure I will taking Fi's last name. I like my last name, but I like my middle. It will be too long if hyphenated and can feel long as a second middle name. So I still have time to decide, but pretty confident maiden will be dropped.

emidle2008 · March 2012

Personally, I can't wait to take my FI's last name. Even the hanger I got for my dress says Mrs. H. I'm not a huge stickler for tradition, but this is one that I am keeping. However, if we were getting married later in life I would have to consider the effect on my profession. If my career had been built around me being Ms. M, I don't know if I'd want to change for fear of confusing people. If that were the case, I think I'd be like Demi Morre. In an interview a few years ago (before the D word), she said that on set she is Ms. Morre, but at home she is Mrs. Kutcher.

nitecheese · March 2012

I haven't fully decided yet. I know that I am taking my FI's name, but I do not know if I want to use my name as my middle name. My middle name is my mom's maiden name. I hate getting rid of either, so I think that I may keep both.

mpjf1001 · March 2012

I'm taking his last name, but I was told by my tax guy last week not to change my name or we would get a marriage penalty at tax time, lol should that determine my answer.....now what to do?!?!?

heatherfitz · March 2012

marriage penalty? i thought you got a break being married? hmm...i'll have to check with my accountant dad :P

and it's great hearing about everyone's choices! i don't think a lot of women give it much thought until it's time to change. yes, it's just a name, but it's our identity and who we are. and it'll be the name we have for the rest of our lives. it deserves some thought!

ktelizabeth86 · March 2012

Like many of the other girls, I plan on taking FIs last name and making my last name a second middle name. Yes, it will be long, but how often do you write out your full name . . . right?

poison+kisses · March 2012

I'm going to be taking his name, it didn't take much thought, I just always figured I'd change my name. I guess I'm just not really attached to it being a huge part of my identity. FI thought it was was weird at first (women don't change their name where he's from), but he's really honoured by it.

BrittneyRN · March 2012

I'm taking his last name. I don't really get an attachment to things like names, so I'll just be dropping my maiden name completely.

Ividian · March 2012

I'll be taking my FI name. I don't want to hyphenate and I don't like the two middle name thing. My middle name is my mother's middle name and I want to keep that. Plus, my sister DID change her middle name to her(our) maiden name, and right now she's the only one planning on having kids, so the last name will go on! I will always be a part of "the clan" even if I change my last name.

kml21636 · March 2012

In Response to Re:Names!:[QUOTE]I refuse to drop my middle name or my last name. My middle name is mine, my moms, my neices, part of my sisters name and hopefully if I have a daughter ever part of hers, oh and a cousins too. I am the only child of my deceased father and I refuse to drop that part of me...the onlu thing I have from him. I also want to take FI's name because that's what you do when you marry! You become family. Posted by krystlelynn212[/QUOTE]

Krystle, ditto!! I don't want to lose what my father passed to me either. It's a tough decision.

minionlover · March 2012

I am changing it to my FI's the minute I get my marriage certificate in the mail. I cannot wait. I work in the DMV building and a block away from the local SS office so its really easy. I can probably do both on lunch.

trawas01 · March 2012

We've had this thread pop up a lot lol

I'm keeping mine. I'll have my PhD in a few years and thus my professional publications are linked to my name. Not his. When I get my doctorate I want it to say Dr. Mylastname....not Dr. My mother in laws last name lol.

I have a real hard time with this tradition. Giving up my identity and becoming Mrs. My FI is just not ok with me. I love him and what we are together, that doesn't mean I'll be giving up myself in the process. That's just how I see it. However, I do understand why many women feel its important to make the change.

Fi isn't thrilled. I suggested we both hyphenate our names if he was that concerned with them matching and no suprise he wasn't comfortable changing his name. Future FIL isn't pleased either, but knowing me I don't think anyone is very surprised by the decision. Socially I'll go by his because I know it would hurt him to have me constantly making the correction, any kids we have will get his and professionally I'll continue using my name.

minionlover · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:82c3c089-eab9-4a95-becb-635835afea17Post:696b50d6-e69a-456e-8dbc-242e3b1d4fbd">Re: Names!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm taking his last name, but I was told by my tax guy last week not to change my name or we would get a marriage penalty at tax time, lol should that determine my answer.....now what to do?!?!?
Posted by mpjf1001[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter what your last name is, once you get married, you file your taxes either Married Filing Jointly or Married Filing Separately. I don't suggest doing Married Filing Separately, you get screwed big time. I know, I've done it.

achiduck · March 2012

I'm taking FI's last name. I already have two middle names so making my maiden name a middle name doesn't make sense for me.

Plus my last name is hard to pronounce and always being misspelled. It will be nict to have an eay to pronounce/spell last name for once.

Heath66 · March 2012

I am having the hardest time trying to decide. I want to be Mrs. FI but (like Trawas) I don't want to be Mrs. Mother in Laws Last Name. FI's family hasn't exactly made our relationship a walk in the park and that is why I am so hesitant.

I have no problem with women who change their names, honestly I am envious of the simplicity of it. I wish I didn't think twice about it but I have to make everything difficult. I feel like I would really be loosing a big part of who I am if I just throw away my last name and take his last name. I always have been and I always want to be Heath66 MaidenName.

I am actually thinking about being immature and totally ignoring it.

One thing I have decided is that if any children come out of my body they will have the same last name as I have when I give birth to them. I will be baking them, pushing them out and giving them "home made" food so they WILL have my last name. If I am not good enough to take his family last name, my babies are way too good to take the name.

aimee58 · March 2012

Taking FI's name. My work stuff won't change over until summer of 2013, since I'm a teacher and they don't change e-mails and stuff half way through the year. But I'm looking forward to having a new last name.

Stacie77 · March 2012

I'm taking his last name...I think when you get married it is part of what you are doing, moving on to the next chapter in your life with your new husband. I cannot wait to be his Mrs.

pockysquirrel · March 2012

I decided a long time ago to take my husband's name when I got married. I've little attachment to my last name because I don't really identify with my father's family. If I had my mother's name it might be another story. Plus, I've really gotten resentful of my name over the years because it is constantly mispronounced...I even had my name read incorrectly at all three of my graduations! Of course, I'm not getting completely off the hook because FI's last name is long and difficult as well. People pronounce it right more often than mine, though. In the end, it suits me and it's the name I want our children to have, so that's what I'm going with. I've wanted to change my middle name forever as well, so when I go to do that I'll most likely add my maiden name as a second middle name.

lenergyrlah · March 2012

I'm taking his last name because I'm not close with my family and I don't really like my last name; his name is a lot nicer and it sounds good with my first name. I like my middle name so I'm keeping that.

lenergyrlah · March 2012

I'm taking his last name because I'm not close with my family and I don't really like my last name; his name is a lot nicer and it sounds good with my first name. I like my middle name so I'm keeping that.

PattySmith101 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:82c3c089-eab9-4a95-becb-635835afea17Post:af2909af-43aa-4d94-a8ea-d18360bf4a13">Re: Names!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm taking his last name. My middle name is my great grandma's name and my niece's middle name (which she was given to match me) so I'm just dropping my last name. It doesn't make me any less a part of my family so I'm not worried about it. Maybe I'm just traditional. I have an italian last name and I'm changing it to one of the most common, easy last names, so I won't always have to spell it for everyone! Woohoo!
Posted by Simply_Caitlin[/QUOTE]

this is exactly why i am changing my last name ... having a common last name is so annoying! lol people never believe me that its my last name! its always like "for real?" "your joking right?" NO i am not joking that is my real last name! i have had people not believe my last name since the time i was born... its so common why dont you believe there are people out there with the name! DUH people! ugg mini rant over! i cant wait to get my new italian last name lol.... i am telling you its annoying having a common last name!!! my brother actually married a russian women and he took her last name! it may be made more annoying to us because my 5 brothers and my sister and i also have very common first names too!

thatjess · March 2012

I will be taking his.

sarahperhaps · March 2012

I think most of my married friends have made their maiden name their middle name. Personally, though, I will be keeping my last name for many reasons. It just doesn't feel right to lose it or make it a second middle name. FI understands completely, as he got a panicked look on his face when I asked him what he thought of changing his last name to my family's last name. Haha! We don't know yet what we will do when we have kids, but likely they will have a hyphenated last name.

Regardless, I don't think it's the suname that makes the marriage-- it's the commitment that two people make to each other. I'm not any less in love with my FI than I would be if we shared a last name, and our relationship is stronger than what the names on our driver's licenses say. Obviously, this is a completely personal decision that each couple must make, and I don't think there is a right or a wrong here.

Names!

Re: Names!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards